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  1. #1
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Beaudesert bans bikes!!!

    I just found this in The Beaudesert Irrigator. We gotta act fast on this one:

    THE IRRIGATOR: APR 01 2002, BIKES BANNED

    The Beaudesert shire council intends to ban bicycles from the town. The plan is aimed at boosting tourism in the area, and has arisen because of a perception that cyclists intimidate tourists and provide a negative image for the area.

    Local Mayor, simply known as 'Bubba' was startled that The Irrigator knew of the top secret discussions. However, he was unrepentent when asked about the reasons for this plan.

    "It is well known that cyclists have been intimidating local motorists, holding up traffic and generally being a nuisance for some time around here, it's no wonder the tourists don't come." Claimed Bubba "It's about time we did something about it."

    However, the move has been opposed by local cycing group, the Beaudesert Bicycle User Group. BBUG President Pete Clark (what a coincidence that is - CL) could scarcely believe the news and questioned the motives of Bubba.

    "How is this going to increase tourism?" questioned Clark "It's ridiculous. This place has a lot of other issues to sort out if they want to attract tourists. There's nothing for them to do here, and the Gold Coast is 70km down the road. Why would a tourist want to come to Beaudesert?"

    "The Gold Coast has more cyclists than Beaudesert -- and more tourists. As far as holding up traffic goes, I would just ask 'what traffic?' "

    However, Bubba was dismissive of Clark's claims. "The Gold Coast?" he asked "I've never heard of the place. We've got plenty to do for tourists around here. I'm sure the local farmers would welcome some help to milk the cows and irrigate the fields".

    "As far as traffic goes, we've got 4,500 people around here. It gets pretty busy in the town centre. Does Pete Clark even live here?"

    The bill to ban cyclists is expected to be passed by council in an Extraordinary General Meeting -- before noon today.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  2. #2
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    This is a joke, right?...
    Mike

  3. #3
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    Remember which day this is.....
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  4. #4
    BikeForums Founder Joe Gardner's Avatar
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    Chris, where do i write my letter of complaint?!














  5. #5
    opinionated SOB cycletourist's Avatar
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    Ha!!! April Fools !!

    It's already April 1st in Austrailia. March 30 here in the U.S.

  6. #6
    BikeForums Founder Joe Gardner's Avatar
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    Bob, im not sure where your at, but im showing the 31st!

  7. #7
    It's in my blood Pete Clark's Avatar
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    Be it April 1st, March 31, or July 4, I am not amused!

    "Bubba," I have some choice words for you:

    @#$^#%^#^#&^$&@#$%#@%$@#$%@$&^%#^...

    AND

    &^%$%@#$!#^&*^$#$#$@%!!!

    Next in line

  8. #8
    Love Me....Love My Bike! aerobat's Avatar
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    Bikes: Giant hybrid, Trek 4500, Cannondale R800 Some commuting 20mi/day, mostly fitness riding - 20-50 mile rides
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    You tell 'em, Pete! You're my favourite Little Big Man!
    "...perhaps the world needs a little more Canada" - Jean Chretian, 2003.

  9. #9
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Aiyaiyai.

    Bicyclists beware at GF.C today (1 April)!

    Nice one, Chris.
    Mike

  10. #10
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    I thought of this one a while ago. I was going to do Murwillumbah, but apparently they're bidding for the Olympics, or at least, they were this morning.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  11. #11
    feros ferio John E's Avatar
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    Originally posted by wabbit
    Remember which day this is.....
    Yes, it's Sergei Rachmaninov's birthday.
    "Early to bed, early to rise. Work like hell, and advertise." -- George Stahlman
    Capo [dschaw'-poe]: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger, S/N 42624
    Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
    Bianchi: 1981 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
    Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    Is that a fish on your back or . . .

    andy

  13. #13
    Devilmaycare Cycling Fool Allister's Avatar
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    Didn't fool me for a second. Tourists in Beaudesert? Hahahahaha.
    If we learn from our mistakes, I must be a goddamn genius.

  14. #14
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Allister
    Didn't fool me for a second. Tourists in Beaudesert? Hahahahaha.
    Hey Allister, have you ever ridden around Beaudesert? You should try it. You'd notice that there is a small descent as you enter the town and a small climb as you leave. For some reason, this seems to be the case on ALL of it's approaches!

    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  15. #15
    Devilmaycare Cycling Fool Allister's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Chris L


    Hey Allister, have you ever ridden around Beaudesert? You should try it. You'd notice that there is a small descent as you enter the town and a small climb as you leave. For some reason, this seems to be the case on ALL of it's approaches!

    No, but I've always suspected Beaudesert was a hole.
    If we learn from our mistakes, I must be a goddamn genius.

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