Even though this is a cycling forum, I notice that alot of people spend alot of time complaining about how other people drive their ... cars (?!?) But hey, why should I be any different?
So as a valuable public service, I thought I would point out how drivers from various regions can't drive:
- California -- extremely courteous and laid back, almost comotose. No horn usage. Could be related to recent advances in medical marajuana. Drive 90 mph in left lane like they're supposed to. Paralysed by rain.
- Philadelphia -- enraged by turn signals, will ram the car in front of them to prevent a lane change. Drive 55 mph in the left lane, leaving 35 mph on the table.
- New Orleans -- if you discover a New Orleans driver is not drunk, do NOT get in his car as he is dead.
- New York -- can discuss advances in theoretical physics using only their horn.
- Portland -- obnoxiously law-abiding. They stay right except to pass judgement on those driving the proper 90 mph in the left lane (ask me how I know this). Cannot safely pump their own gas and instead require assistance from trained professionals.
- Albuquerque / El Paso -- when approaching a vehicle stopped at a red light, they wait until within 7 feet to begin slowing down.
- Southeast US -- yield right of way to left turning traffic before proceeding straight.
- Houston / Dallas -- traffic disputes efficiently settled out of court by Smith, Wesson, et al.
- Florida -- if you don't like how Floridians drive then stay off the sidewalk. Extensive random directional signal usage.
I have not been able to assess the entire country, so please contribute your regionalized observations as to how other drivers can't drive.