Anyone have success convincing elderly relatives to hang up the keys?
#26
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Green Valley AZ
Posts: 3,770
Bikes: Trice Q; Volae Century; TT 3.4
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times
in
2 Posts
I've assisted with three driving interventions. All three worked without long-term family problems though one impaired driver did contact the (already informed) local police.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,712
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
I've assisted with three driving interventions. All three worked without long-term family problems though one impaired driver did contact the (already informed) local police.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
But you left out the very first step:. Get to know the person. Being a relative or friend doesn't guarantee a person knows the other person. Amazing how many times really getting to know someone makes a difference.
While this thread focuses on older drivers the basics apply to younger ones as well. Getting to know others and taking their welfare into consideration makes all the difference. Most times law enforcement doesn't need to get involved.
#28
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 7,048
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 509 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 9 Times
in
8 Posts
We have some pretty good data that confirms what one would expect; as a population older drivers are more vulnerable to injury or death in a MVA. I don't think I have ever seen good data supporting the idea they cause more fatalities than other groups. Although there are many secondary articles that incorrectly present the data and its' conclusions.
As you can see, beginning at age seventy, older drivers become more deadly than they were during their prime and when they reach their eighties they are the most lethal motorists on the roadway.
Now, how much of this increased death is due to the increased fragility of old people and how much is due to their increased tendency to crash? From the second reference in the link:
Among older drivers, marked excesses in crash involvement did not begin until age 75, but explained no more than about 30-45% of the elevated risk in this group of drivers
In many states now impaired driving laws include impairment from all drugs, whether they be alcohol, illegal recreational drugs or prescription drugs. The criteria for a law enforcement stop and subsequent action is the same. Although ithe crime is still often referred to as drunk driving, in fact it is impaired driving.
I also dispute your notion that incompetent drivers should be allowed to continue driving after their skill set has diminished to the point that they are a hazard to other road users just because they want to drive. I may want to hit golf balls across the freeway, but such an action would be frowned on, to say the least. In a civilized society, we do have an obligation to not harm other people. It's along the lines of your right to swing your fist ends before it strikes my nose. Selfishness is always unbecoming, but is particularly ugly when it is exhibited by our elders who should be setting an example. One often cannot have one's cake and eat it too. If an elderly person wants to live out in the suburbs, then he/she will have to deal with the fact that there will be no door-to-door transportation option available 24/7. (Many communities offer free shuttles for disabled and elderly, but not to go to the liquor store at midnight.) Life is a compromise.
By the way, Oregon does allow concerned citizens to report elderly drivers for retesting and a substantial number of them fail when they are required to take a road test. I'm not sure if this is common in other states. If my parents and in-laws lived in Oregon, I would likely just report them every year and leave it to the tester at the DMV to pull their licenses.
Back to the main topic of the thread, HawkOwl. Consider what it would take for your younger relatives to convince you that it is time to stop driving. What would they need to do? What evidence would convince you that it is "Time"? Will you just take their word when they tell you that you aren't reacting quickly enough to what is happening or that you are not seeing things that you should see? I believe you are about the same age as my mother-in-law and appear to be similarly stubborn, so your insights into this would be appreciated.
Maybe I should give up hope and accept that older drivers either have the ability to restrain themselves from driving or they don't and no one can influence them. That would certainly be consistent with what my son has nick-named his grandparents' generation. (It's not an appropriate name to share and is far less than complimentary.)
#29
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,712
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
I'm not going to be argumentative by going pont by point through your post. Let me just suggest you broaden your perspective. I think it is causing you to mis-interpret reports and to apply them more broadly than the data supports. For example the link you provided is quoted below:
Alcohol
Six percent of fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers 70 years and older in 2011 had blood alcohol concentrations (BACs) at or above 0.08 percent, compared with 17 percent for drivers ages 60-69 and 40 percent for drivers ages 16-59.
Fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers with BAC ≥ 0.08 percent by age, 2011
Age Drivers killed Estimated drivers killed with BACs ≥ 0.08
Number Number %
16-59 11,608 4,626 40
60-69 1,577 269 17
≥70 2,292 142 6
.
As you can see the chart you present applies to alcohol impaired drivers, not all drivers. You attempt to extend this chart to all drivers, which is clearly inappropriate. Also note the oldest group has the smallest percentage, contrary to your assertion.
Please, if you are going to quote me do so accurately. I said, and I repeat, elders like all of us deserve as good a life as possible. I did not say they should continue driving. I did say that friends and family taking care of their transportation needs is not only the humane thing to do it often allows them to willingly stop driving. One person posted a checklist that I lauded.
You appear to want to just taking a person's only means of getting food, having a social life and just leaving them to rot at home.
Alcohol
Six percent of fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers 70 years and older in 2011 had blood alcohol concentrations (BACs) at or above 0.08 percent, compared with 17 percent for drivers ages 60-69 and 40 percent for drivers ages 16-59.
Fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers with BAC ≥ 0.08 percent by age, 2011
Age Drivers killed Estimated drivers killed with BACs ≥ 0.08
Number Number %
16-59 11,608 4,626 40
60-69 1,577 269 17
≥70 2,292 142 6
.
As you can see the chart you present applies to alcohol impaired drivers, not all drivers. You attempt to extend this chart to all drivers, which is clearly inappropriate. Also note the oldest group has the smallest percentage, contrary to your assertion.
Please, if you are going to quote me do so accurately. I said, and I repeat, elders like all of us deserve as good a life as possible. I did not say they should continue driving. I did say that friends and family taking care of their transportation needs is not only the humane thing to do it often allows them to willingly stop driving. One person posted a checklist that I lauded.
You appear to want to just taking a person's only means of getting food, having a social life and just leaving them to rot at home.
Last edited by ModeratedUser150120149; 06-21-13 at 08:03 PM.
#30
Banned
Watching some of my rear camera videos, it seems that the same occurs for me on my bike, since local motorists are expecting me to run the stop sign, as do many cyclists in my locale.
#31
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 7,048
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 509 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 9 Times
in
8 Posts
I'm not going to be argumentative by going pont by point through your post. Let me just suggest you broaden your perspective. I think it is causing you to mis-interpret reports and to apply them more broadly than the data supports. For example the link you provided is quoted below:
Alcohol
Six percent of fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers 70 years and older in 2011 had blood alcohol concentrations (BACs) at or above 0.08 percent, compared with 17 percent for drivers ages 60-69 and 40 percent for drivers ages 16-59.
Fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers with BAC ≥ 0.08 percent by age, 2011
Age Drivers killed Estimated drivers killed with BACs ≥ 0.08
Number Number %
16-59 11,608 4,626 40
60-69 1,577 269 17
≥70 2,292 142 6
.
As you can see the chart you present applies to alcohol impaired drivers, not all drivers. You attempt to extend this chart to all drivers, which is clearly inappropriate. Also note the oldest group has the smallest percentage, contrary to your assertion.
Please, if you are going to quote me do so accurately. I said, and I repeat, elders like all of us deserve as good a life as possible. I did not say they should continue driving. I did say that friends and family taking care of their transportation needs is not only the humane thing to do it often allows them to willingly stop driving. One person posted a checklist that I lauded.
You appear to want to just taking a person's only means of getting food, having a social life and just leaving them to rot at home.
Alcohol
Six percent of fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers 70 years and older in 2011 had blood alcohol concentrations (BACs) at or above 0.08 percent, compared with 17 percent for drivers ages 60-69 and 40 percent for drivers ages 16-59.
Fatally injured passenger vehicle drivers with BAC ≥ 0.08 percent by age, 2011
Age Drivers killed Estimated drivers killed with BACs ≥ 0.08
Number Number %
16-59 11,608 4,626 40
60-69 1,577 269 17
≥70 2,292 142 6
.
As you can see the chart you present applies to alcohol impaired drivers, not all drivers. You attempt to extend this chart to all drivers, which is clearly inappropriate. Also note the oldest group has the smallest percentage, contrary to your assertion.
Please, if you are going to quote me do so accurately. I said, and I repeat, elders like all of us deserve as good a life as possible. I did not say they should continue driving. I did say that friends and family taking care of their transportation needs is not only the humane thing to do it often allows them to willingly stop driving. One person posted a checklist that I lauded.
You appear to want to just taking a person's only means of getting food, having a social life and just leaving them to rot at home.
Since I quoted your post in its entirety, I could not have misquoted you. Such an unfounded accusation strikes me as rude; perhaps your social norms differ from mine and no offense was intended. Also, I never said people should be deprived of food or social lives. In fact, I pointed out that millions of Americans of all ages are enjoying robust lives, including eating and socializing, without being dependent on automobiles. This can be done in far too many ways to enumerate, but, as I mentioned earlier, there will be choices to be made and compromises aplenty.
I see you declined to enlighten me on just what would convince you that your time had arrived. Perhaps you have never considered such a circumstance and will need more time to decide what your standard would be. Consider this story I read many decades ago:
No one wanted to tell grandpa that he needed to stop driving. No one wanted to damage his pride. One fine evening at the conclusion of a family gathering, grandpa got behind the wheel, put the car into drive, and promptly crushed his grandson's legs to mush when his front bumper rammed his grandson into the rear of the car in front of grandpa's car.
It is my opinion that as we get older, we all need to give someone permission to advise us of when the time has come to hang up the keys. Many years ago I arranged for a group of younger friends and relatives to tell me when they felt my time was approaching. I hope to beat them to the punch, but one never knows how one will react to a difficult situation until one is actually in it. I acknowledge the difficulty of this issue in our nation. Gee whiz, I started this thread to ask for guidance precisely because I see it as a difficult problem. Even if no one has the secret formula for convincing elderly relatives to stop endangering themselves and others, maybe some younger folks will realize their own mortality and begin planning for such a time in their own lives before they feel like their car is their only means to a meaningful life. If that's all I get from this thread, then it's been worth the trouble.
#32
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 7,048
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 509 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 9 Times
in
8 Posts
I've assisted with three driving interventions. All three worked without long-term family problems though one impaired driver did contact the (already informed) local police.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
#33
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,712
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
Carfree: Your words: "I started this thread to ask for guidance precisely because I see it as a difficult problem. Even if no one has the secret formula for convincing elderly relatives to stop endangering themselves "
That is the point. There is no secret. Set things up so all the person's transportation needs are met. One person even gave you a useful checklist. Treat them like valuable humans and the details will work themselves out.
Don't want this to become personal so I'll bow out now.
Your post overlapped mine. Involuntary changes rapidly to when concerns are taken care of.
That is the point. There is no secret. Set things up so all the person's transportation needs are met. One person even gave you a useful checklist. Treat them like valuable humans and the details will work themselves out.
Don't want this to become personal so I'll bow out now.
Your post overlapped mine. Involuntary changes rapidly to when concerns are taken care of.
#34
Rider
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Matanuska-Susitna Borough, AK
Posts: 1,077
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 5 Times
in
5 Posts
"Grandma, if you keep driving, you're going to get in a wreck, and someone is going to die. And it probably isn't going to be you."
#35
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 7,048
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 509 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 9 Times
in
8 Posts
I'm unlikely to do anything but get four of the six to dig their heels in if I play that card. I might have some success with the fragility of elderly motorists mentioned earlier; they get in more wrecks than other motorists and they die more often in any given wreck. That won't stop them from driving, but it might resonate in the back of their minds when they have their next fender bender (or the next time they hit a building).
#36
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Green Valley AZ
Posts: 3,770
Bikes: Trice Q; Volae Century; TT 3.4
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times
in
2 Posts
Am I misreading or is this an involuntary cessation of driving? I do agree that helping to arrange for alternative forms of transportation and having people at the ready to help are necessary steps. We cannot force any of our relatives to stop driving any more than I would be able to force an adult child to give up drugs (not an issue with any of my nieces, nephew or son thankfully).
#37
Senior Member
We've had two seniors in our family involuntarily surrender their cars in the past 5 years. It wasn't easy. Both had car vs stationary object accidents they said were hit and runs. We told them we needed to call the police to get reports for the insurance companies. Both backed off and gave up their keys after that. Good luck.
#38
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 111
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
My grandma just a bought a new car recently and she is around 80. She was recently diagnosed with cancer again and started getting chemo. She is incredibly strong and resilient. She has been thin all her life but for some reason has diabetes. Diabetes can be genetic unfortunately. God I hate that disease. Any way, she did drive herself to her first chemo treatment, but I wonder how long she can keep driving. I find it tough to criticize the elderly as far as wanting to drive, because we are all going to get to that point, and make the decision of when it is time to start taking the bus.
#39
Bicycle Repair Man !!!
I am wondering how I can have my neighbour's license revoked... she is in her early 60's and is without a doubt, one of the very worst drivers I have ever seen.
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,712
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
After calling 911(in the US) you just tell the dispatcher that you see a dangerous driver and describe the vehicle and driver and what they are doing that is dangerous. There is a long list of behavior that qualifies. You should be familiar with it. If a LEO is available they will be dispatched to the call.
Or, if you really want to be a good citizen, you can swear out a complaint against the other person. That will detail what the person is doing that is dangerous and when and where they did it. Depending on what you say in the complaint the legal system will take a variety of actions.
BUT, your assertion that a person is "...one of the very worst drivers I have ever seen.", or is too old, or too drunk, or whatever and needs to be taken off the road has to be supported by fact. It cannot be an opinion unless you want to be deeper in the Do-Do that is comfortable.
In today's society, even though the law says driving is a privilege, in fact, it is a necessity for most people due to lack of alternative transportation. When you force someone to not drive you best have your facts straight. Also, you need to take ownership of your actions. This is not a casual, internet conversation thing. It is something serious.
As you can tell taking drivers licenses away is not new to me. I can tell you that for most of society the problem is not having people too active in getting dangerous drivers off the road. It is the opposite. To the extent that I've know people who watched an intoxicated member of their family get in a car and drive away. When asked later, after the DUI arrest, or collision about it the answer went something like this: "Well, I didn't want to make him mad. And besides that is the police's job, not mine." WRONG.
Treating others like humans and taking personal responsibility are the keys for all age groups. If we did that the number of uninsured and/or unlicensed drivers on the roadways would take a big plunge.
#41
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 7,048
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 509 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 9 Times
in
8 Posts
Unlike OR, CA requires motorists to regularly retake the written test. While the standard for passing is at the level of a D-student, about half of all licensed motorist fail this simple test. A substantial fraction of them still manage to fail on the second try.
If this is your neighbor north of the U.S. border, then I don't know what you do.
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
I purchase a car for my daughter from a guy selling his grandfathers car. When he couldn't start the car by inserting the key into the air vent they figured it was time to take the keys.
#44
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,712
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
Resurrected:
When this came by the first time I was bothered by something but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Now I think I know so here is the question:
Does age have anything to do with what a person Should Do about a dangerous driver?
Personally, all the dangerous acts I've seen older drivers do I also seen with younger drivers. In fact, I'd say older drivers get much more attention from their family than young dangerous drivers. Family keeps an eye on the elders and tries to stop them from driving if they perceive the elder is dangerous. On the other hand numerous times a dangerous driver, for example drunk or impaired on other drug, is allowed to drive with no comment by the family.
Seems to me a person should do the same thing for all dangerous drivers; get them off the road.
When this came by the first time I was bothered by something but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Now I think I know so here is the question:
Does age have anything to do with what a person Should Do about a dangerous driver?
Personally, all the dangerous acts I've seen older drivers do I also seen with younger drivers. In fact, I'd say older drivers get much more attention from their family than young dangerous drivers. Family keeps an eye on the elders and tries to stop them from driving if they perceive the elder is dangerous. On the other hand numerous times a dangerous driver, for example drunk or impaired on other drug, is allowed to drive with no comment by the family.
Seems to me a person should do the same thing for all dangerous drivers; get them off the road.
#45
Full Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 464
Bikes: Serotta CRL, Litespeed Blue Ridge, Bacchetta Ti Aero, Cannondale delta V, 67 Schwinn Sting Ray stick shift.
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 7 Times
in
6 Posts
My new book will be titled "Adventures with Henry" Had to take the keys away from my 89 year old father last year. He found a spare set, cut the head off & jammed the key in the ignition. I retaliated by jacking his truck up on blocks and removing all 4 wheels, then had call every auto shop in town warning them not to come over and get him going. He still will not speak to me other than to call me an *******, even when chauffeuring him around. When I said to him the the kid on a bike he kills might be me he replied "good". I just say back, "love you too dad".
#46
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
I worked in car rental years ago. One day I was standing outside on the lot(it was also a used car lot) talking to a couple salesmen watching this old couple drive up in an early 80's Tercel. The old man was having trouble pulling into the parking space, so one of the sales guys went up and helped him out. I figured somebody was going to get a sale, and went back into the rental office.
About 10 minutes later the the old lady walked in, with a limp and an eye patch. The old man followed about a few seconds behind, with one of the guys holding the door open for him so that he could keep both hands on his 2 canes. Yes, one for each hand, as he hunched over them with a kink in his neck to see ahead of him. The old lady said they had a reservation for a midsize.
I asked where they were going, for a week. She said they were driving from San Diego to just outside of Reno in the middle of nowhere Nevada to visit their son. Something like a 600 mile drive through the desert. So I asked for her driver's license at which point she turned and screamed to her husband to give me his driver's license. He turned and went "huh?" She yelled again, and eventually he fumbled his wallet out of his pocket while leaning one of his cane's against his other arm. Eventually, she turned and grabbed the cane and then pulled his license out for me to enter in to the computer. To my dismay, it was still good. I didn't really have any excuse to discriminate against the 94 year old man that point.
So to the punchline, I asked her if she had thought about flying. She says "Oh, he gave up his pilot's license years ago." I made a joke about him only being 94 at that point, and the old lady divulged that she was only 88.
Apparently their son's place too far away from the Reno airport to make sense for him to meet them there either. So I asked if she would be driving as well over such a long trip, but nope, she didn't have a license because of her only one good, but bad eye. So we got them out to their rental, but still needed to repark their Tercel on the street. I volunteered as the old man started to move towards it. I get in, and realized the damn thing didn't even have power steering. I was surprised he was driving an automatic at that point.
A week later, to my surprise, they made it back with no scratches on the car, looking about the same as they did before they left. She said they had a great uneventful trip.
About 10 minutes later the the old lady walked in, with a limp and an eye patch. The old man followed about a few seconds behind, with one of the guys holding the door open for him so that he could keep both hands on his 2 canes. Yes, one for each hand, as he hunched over them with a kink in his neck to see ahead of him. The old lady said they had a reservation for a midsize.
I asked where they were going, for a week. She said they were driving from San Diego to just outside of Reno in the middle of nowhere Nevada to visit their son. Something like a 600 mile drive through the desert. So I asked for her driver's license at which point she turned and screamed to her husband to give me his driver's license. He turned and went "huh?" She yelled again, and eventually he fumbled his wallet out of his pocket while leaning one of his cane's against his other arm. Eventually, she turned and grabbed the cane and then pulled his license out for me to enter in to the computer. To my dismay, it was still good. I didn't really have any excuse to discriminate against the 94 year old man that point.
So to the punchline, I asked her if she had thought about flying. She says "Oh, he gave up his pilot's license years ago." I made a joke about him only being 94 at that point, and the old lady divulged that she was only 88.
Apparently their son's place too far away from the Reno airport to make sense for him to meet them there either. So I asked if she would be driving as well over such a long trip, but nope, she didn't have a license because of her only one good, but bad eye. So we got them out to their rental, but still needed to repark their Tercel on the street. I volunteered as the old man started to move towards it. I get in, and realized the damn thing didn't even have power steering. I was surprised he was driving an automatic at that point.
A week later, to my surprise, they made it back with no scratches on the car, looking about the same as they did before they left. She said they had a great uneventful trip.
#47
24-Speed Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Wash. Grove, MD
Posts: 6,058
Bikes: 2003 Specialized Allez 24-Speed Road Bike
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
I've assisted with three driving interventions. All three worked without long-term family problems though one impaired driver did contact the (already informed) local police.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
1) Have good alternative transportation arranged. This is essential. Quality is important.
2) Let local law enforcement know what's up.
3) Arrange for car removal.
4) Gather the impaired driver and others at a location away from the car.
5) Explain the alternative transportation arrangements and then mention the car(s) have been removed to a secure location.
6) Contact the former impaired driver daily for a few weeks to make sure all is going well. Help work out any transportation problems.
7) Help the former driver to get a state ID in place of the now-inappropriate license.
8) Assist in the sale or other disposal of car(s).
I may have missed a step above. The process was the brainchild of a long-time police officer who's also a recovering alcoholic.
#49
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,712
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
Re: The elders driving across country. In the 50+ section lots of stories about older people and what the can do. Physical ability to ambulate has very little to do with safe driving. That people think it does illustrates the biases and bigotry disabled people have to put up with daily.
Right now on the road between Anchorage and Fairbanks Alaska there are a group of hand cyclists doing a race . Bet they drive too.
Right now on the road between Anchorage and Fairbanks Alaska there are a group of hand cyclists doing a race . Bet they drive too.
#50
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ogopogo's shoreline
Posts: 4,082
Bikes: LHT, Kona Smoke
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times
in
3 Posts
Had a great grandfather that we had to have a "family meeting" about. And this goes back a while - must have been around 1986.
After causing two accidents in the matter of 3 days (one of which had the potential for serious injury), it really shouldn't have been an argument.
But this was a 90 year old Sicilian - with all his wits about him - who had just planted his 80th garden, by hand, by himself (ok.. with a largely useless G-G son) - but his eyes were failing.
They could still cry though. And they did, when he finally came to realize his driving days were over.
After causing two accidents in the matter of 3 days (one of which had the potential for serious injury), it really shouldn't have been an argument.
But this was a 90 year old Sicilian - with all his wits about him - who had just planted his 80th garden, by hand, by himself (ok.. with a largely useless G-G son) - but his eyes were failing.
They could still cry though. And they did, when he finally came to realize his driving days were over.