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  1. #1
    24-Speed Machine Chris516's Avatar
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    Relative fear i.e. How your relatives respond to how you deal with ignorant motorists

    Before I give details, I did check for previous threads of this nature. But could not find any.

    My relatives' keep getting on me about how I respond to ignorant, insolent motorists'. I don't waste my time with them, except to tell motorists' WHAT!!!, when they repeatedly honk and/or *** their engines. My relatives' keep whining that some nutcase is going to suddenly pull out a *** and kill me(when they have a vehicle and ignorant LEOs' that can do the job without suspicion).

  2. #2
    Transportation Cyclist turbo1889's Avatar
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    My relatives (and friends) run the spectrum from belligerent motorists who think bikes aren't supposed to be on the road and they deserve to get run over and deserve what is coming to them (just relatives in this category, you are not my friend if you think this way) to a few have told me that they really admire how I have the (insert crude reference to certain body organs) to stand up to aggressive motorists and have told me that they wish they had the (again inset) that I did because they are too scared.

    As to escalation to guns, hasn't happened yet but I have been physically assaulted for daring to claim that bikes have a right to the road while not even on my bike by both relatives and other cyclists not to mention the various road-rage incidents while on my bike some at least two of which were full on lethal deliberate intent not just "trying to scare me" that it was a matter of me managing to escape rather then them choosing not to take it all the way and go through with it. One of whom I successfully got a decent settlement from her employer (school bus driver) and I'm still pressing the DA for criminal charges so far unsuccessfully.

    My grandfather on my fathers side (may he rest in peace) who fought in both Korea and Vietnam told me more then once after he was widowed and lived in my parents home for the last few years of his life that he thought that I had come to the point where I no longer actually truly cared what the final mortal outcome for me was when it came to me biking on the roads a mental state he had seen in others and himself after they become accustomed to combat to the point were they were actually used to it something he claimed actually kept him alive because he no longer had any emotions in combat and just did what needed to be done. Scary thing is he might have been right about that and if it was so back then it certainly still is now if not more so, it is something I still think about occasionally when I get into a self examinatory introspective deep thinking about the big question about myself mood and wonder if I truly have become that cold where I no longer feel anything when I'm on the road in a situation when I'm dealing with an aggressor.
    Last edited by turbo1889; 11-26-13 at 09:14 PM.

  3. #3
    covered in cat fur katsrevenge's Avatar
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    Well, my fiance told me that my habit of riding on a road that is marked 25 MPH and one way is dangerous.

    He doesn't like to ride in the road. I only ride in the road on side streets/slow streets. He wishes I didn't. I ride with him, he's headed straight for the sidewalks no matter the street.

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    Why/how do your relatives know what you do or say out on the road?

    If you don't broadcast this kind of stuff, you don't have to listen to their comments or explain yourself.
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  5. #5
    24-Speed Machine Chris516's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FBinNY View Post
    Why/how do your relatives know what you do or say out on the road?

    If you don't broadcast this kind of stuff, you don't have to listen to their comments or explain yourself.
    I stupidly tell them, thinking that one day they will just trust me to know what I am doing.

  6. #6
    Senior Member dynodonn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FBinNY View Post

    If you don't broadcast this kind of stuff, you don't have to listen to their comments or explain yourself.
    +1
    Nary a word I say to close family or friends, and then only to law enforcement when I decide to report a motorist.

  7. #7
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    meh˛.

    i repeatedly gave a honking motorist the two finger no-hands salute this evening commute. the @#$%&* @#$%&* was very lucky i was in too much of a hurry to "educate". i'm having far too much fun to spend a femtosecond living in fear of neighbors who drive.
    This is why motorists hate us, and why I've given up riding on the road...You should be ashamed yourself, and you should be reviled by cyclists everywhere.

  8. #8
    Casually Deliberate
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris516 View Post
    I stupidly tell them, thinking that one day they will just trust me to know what I am doing.
    Yep. I was talking to my daughter just tonight about how we often think the people around us can handle truth- (Nicholson impression here "You can't handle the truth!")- in a reasonable way. A great deal of the time, it turns out they can't, but hope springs eternal. I asked my daughter if she thought I was behaving irresponsibly as a parent when I practiced VC. (I had read in a different thread that one female cyclist was approached by a co-worker who said that if she had a child she wouldn't behave so irresponsibly.) My daughter's response was "No. It's just not proper." I wish I could anticipate all my relatives being so civil if the subject comes up on Thanksgiving but not if last year is any indicator.
    Quote Originally Posted by halfspeed View Post
    Earmuffs!!! This is a family forum, miss!

  9. #9
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris516 View Post
    I stupidly tell them...
    'nuff said.

  10. #10
    genec genec's Avatar
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    I honk... same as drivers in a car. Airzounds.

    I also carry a copy of the laws as they apply to cyclists on small cards and freely hand those out to anyone willing to do more than shout.

  11. #11
    Transportation Cyclist turbo1889's Avatar
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    Ever go to a family reunion by bike where the last 20-mile stretch is two lane extreme narrow with no shoulder edges so you have to take the lane?

    You had better hope they all get there before you do and they don't get stuck behind that ^@&^%@^ 2^&%@&2 23 2^%@#^6 @^&%&& 27 2&@%& 262 276 @&@ &2 752 7 2 7 @%& %@&%& cyclists who ain't supposed to be on the road anyway and they had to wait like oh my God a whole half minute at most until they could pass and then guess who pulls up to the family reunion on a bike while they are talking about it.

    Or maybe I got it wrong, are we talking about reporting motorists or are we talking about refusing to give in to their harassment (honking, engine reeving, etc . . ) Both maybe? Or maybe just being a cyclist period, much less one that actually rides on the road?

    I was talking about just being a cyclist period and one willing to ride almost any road and take the lane when either its a low speed road where I can keep up and that is thus the preferable way to ride or when road conditions dictate its a necessity. Visit your friends and relatives by bike and its kind of hard to avoid them knowing this especially when they ask if you really came all the way on bike and they realize all the roads you had to bike in-between. Doesn't even have to be all the way even, take a folder on the train and they sometimes have a cow and lay an egg at the same time when they realize you went from the train station to their house on a bike.
    Last edited by turbo1889; 11-27-13 at 08:44 AM.

  12. #12
    Senior Member GP's Avatar
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    We live on a major bike route and the poor behavior from road cyclists gets me no sympathy from my wife or our neighbors. The route turns onto our street one block away. During this October's MS ride, my wife was on the street putting our dog into the side door of the van. She started doing this just before a group of riders made the turn onto our street. One of them told her to "get that ****ing dog out of the street".

    Most of the cyclists are fine; it seems like the bad behavior always comes from fairly inexperienced road cyclists. We've never had an incident with beach cruisers, commuters, homeless guys, road clubs, or anyone else.

  13. #13
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    Most of my relatives are fine with me riding, but do sometimes share stories about how some roadie was blocking the road, or how they almost hit a cyclist when he blasted through a red light, or turned across three lanes without looking, or was riding at night without lights.

    It's silly; I think if police actually enforced traffic laws (for bikes and cars, as I see plenty of drivers being stupid as well), most drivers would be fine with bikes on the road.

    As far as how I respond to ignorant motorists, it depends on the situation. If we're at a red light, and they're honking or yelling, I'll turn around and ask "What?" and shrug my shoulders. If it's while riding along the road, they either get no response (if they passed closely or yelled out the window) or a yelled "*******!". If I catch up to said drivers at the next light, I sometimes knock on the window and politely ask them to give me some more space. Every time thus far, they've been very apologetic and basically admit that they don't know how wide their vehicle is.

    My wife doesn't like that I do this, for fear of the ***-toting nutzo. My other relatives never ask how I deal with drivers, so it doesn't come up.
    Last edited by spivonious; 11-27-13 at 10:34 AM.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris516 View Post
    I stupidly tell them, thinking that one day they will just trust me to know what I am doing.
    Why would you think that your proficiency with colorful language would convince anybody that you know what you're doing, or that riding is safe.

    Not pointing to you directly, I often wonder if cyclist attitudes reflect that of the motorists, or if it might be the other way around. I do know that some cyclists seem to have more problems with motorists than others.

    OTOH- there's no percentage in discussing problems with family if they already think cycling is dangerous. My nephew bicycle commutes year round about 20 miles RT in Philadelphia. His wife is (much) less than thrilled, but accepts it. He and I make it a point never to discuss close calls, or incidents in her presence. We keep any bicycle related conversations upbeat and positive. We talk about feeling better or staying in shape, and how riding, even in terrible weather makes us stronger.

    If family worries, there's no point in making them worry more, so don't talk about crazy drivers.
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  15. #15
    Casually Deliberate
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    Quote Originally Posted by FBinNY View Post
    We keep any bicycle related conversations upbeat and positive.
    I've been volunteering in a bike shop for over a year so bike culture and, specifically, the culture in Portland came up last year on Thanksgiving. Everything was fine until one cousin, who'd had a bit of wine, decided to bring up the Naked Bike Ride. Then everyone wanted to discuss it and what people wore and how safe it was, etc. I haven't done it yet but I know people who have.) Finally, the same cousin who'd brought up the topic said, "Don't the guys worry about getting *it* caught in the chain?" Har har har. I said, "It's obviously been a while since you were on or near a bike. If you have to worry about getting your p***s caught in the chain then you belong in Hollywood not Portland."
    Quote Originally Posted by halfspeed View Post
    Earmuffs!!! This is a family forum, miss!

  16. #16
    24-Speed Machine Chris516's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by genec View Post
    I honk... same as drivers in a car. Airzounds.

    I also carry a copy of the laws as they apply to cyclists on small cards and freely hand those out to anyone willing to do more than shout.
    Yes, You have mentioned Airzounds in the past, but I still don't like them, on a bike. They work great on a boat. I don't think so on a bike. But that is me. As for carrying a copy of the laws, are you referring to laws being on little business cards? Because I can't find a pocket guide for Maryland or Virginia. There is a PDF file on the DC laws at http://www.waba.org, but that is online. I have thought about it for some time. I should have done that eons ago.

    Quote Originally Posted by FBinNY View Post
    Why would you think that your proficiency with colorful language would convince anybody that you know what you're doing, or that riding is safe.

    Not pointing to you directly, I often wonder if cyclist attitudes reflect that of the motorists, or if it might be the other way around. I do know that some cyclists seem to have more problems with motorists than others.

    OTOH- there's no percentage in discussing problems with family if they already think cycling is dangerous. My nephew bicycle commutes year round about 20 miles RT in Philadelphia. His wife is (much) less than thrilled, but accepts it. He and I make it a point never to discuss close calls, or incidents in her presence. We keep any bicycle related conversations upbeat and positive. We talk about feeling better or staying in shape, and how riding, even in terrible weather makes us stronger.

    If family worries, there's no point in making them worry more, so don't talk about crazy drivers.
    I agree that mentioning it to family who repeatedly badgers me about it, is just plain stupid. My main reason for telling them, is so I relieve any stress I might have from any incident I mention to them.

    Like today, I mentioned to them I finally got through to the company VP of a 'green' cab company, about a cab driver who illegally passed me in a left turn nearly killing me, a couple days ago. The company VP was none too happy about what the cab driver did is going to 're-educate' the cab driver. While they initially respond in fear, when(and if) I first tell them. They are all 'congratulatory' when I go to the top on dealing with someone driving in a public transportation capacity.

  17. #17
    genec genec's Avatar
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    I made my own business card sized law card. I just copied the laws from the California Vehicle Code web site, put the text into graphics program (allows me to control the spacing and print front and back) and made my own cards.

    I print it on card stock and then cut them up. I get about 8-10, if they register correctly, front and back from one 8.5 X 11 sheet. No big deal.

    I keep them in my pannier... if I get into a "discussion" with someone and they are really open, I give them a card. The cards cite the CVC number and the law.

    It's that simple.

    I started doing this as in discussions with people, I realized they had no clue that cyclists have nearly the same rights to the road as motorists... often people think they are just doing cyclists a favor by letting us use "their" roads.

    I put the laws outside my cube and my co-workers have expressed surprise regarding the laws... "oh I never knew that..."

    People really don't remember what they read in the DMV handbooks or learned in that short Drivers Ed class... they just know their habits, good or bad, learned over the years.
    Last edited by genec; 11-27-13 at 03:19 PM.

  18. #18
    24-Speed Machine Chris516's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by genec View Post
    I made my own business card sized law card. I just copied the laws from the California Vehicle Code web site, put the text into graphics program (allows me to control the spacing and print front and back) and made my own cards.

    I print it on card stock and then cut them up. I get about 8-10, if they register correctly, front and back from one 8.5 X 11 sheet. No big deal.

    I keep them in my pannier... if I get into a "discussion" with someone and they are really open, I give them a card. The cards cite the CVC number and the law.

    It's that simple.

    I started doing this as in discussions with people, I realized they had no clue that cyclists have nearly the same rights to the road as motorists... often people think they are just doing cyclists a favor by letting us use "their" roads.

    I put the laws outside my cube and my co-workers have expressed surprise regarding the laws... "oh I never knew that..."

    People really don't remember what they read in the DMV handbooks or learned in that short Drivers Ed class... they just know their habits, good or bad, learned over the years.
    Yes, The knowledge learned in Drivers Ed. slowly leaks from their brain.

  19. #19
    20+mph Commuter JoeyBike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris516 View Post
    My relatives' keep getting on me...
    Don't ask don't tell.

    Except for my wife and a few friends who ride with me, no one knows how I ride unless they come right out and ask a direct question. Otherwise I keep my riding to myself (and post vids on the Web under a pen-name). Now and then an acquaintance (or a even a stranger) might ask a pointed question (Are you one of those people who run red lights?) and I will give a pointed answer (Do you really want me stopped in FRONT of you when the light turns green?) which usually embarrasses them into shutting up.

    Relatives other than my wife have no clue about my personal business.

  20. #20
    Senior Member the fly's Avatar
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    The last family reunion, one of my cousins asked if I was scared to ride my bike. I told her I was more scared of complications of diabetes. Since it runs in the family, she knew exactly where I was coming from. That's pretty much my standard answer to anyone who asks.

  21. #21
    Member johnnymoses's Avatar
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    Hopefully this does not end up happening to you as a result of confronting the mindless masses behind the wheel

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0vPegQLegI

  22. #22
    Transportation Cyclist turbo1889's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnymoses View Post
    Hopefully this does not end up happening to you as a result of confronting the mindless masses behind the wheel

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0vPegQLegI
    Already had at least two attempts at similar that I can be totally sure of were intentional and were full lethal intent not just bluffs plus a couple more that I have my suspicions about. Not for confronting, just for being on the road period, and one of them just for riding on the shoulder edge of the road completely outside of the main travel lane, the other one there was no shoulder edge or sidewalk, just two narrow lanes one each direction and one row of parked cars on the one side (originally two lane street with no parking converted to narrower lanes to add parking on one side about a decade ago).

    So far I've been able to successfully escape. But in an alley way like shown in that security cam footage with solid masonry walls on both sides escape possibilities are pretty limited. Glad that my state for the most part is pretty open and very few times you are totally hemmed in without any escape possibilities.

  23. #23
    aka Tom Reingold noglider's Avatar
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    The danger of being injured by an enraged motorist is really very tiny. You don't have to worry about that, and neither do any relatives or friends.
    You don't read my signature anyway, do you?

    Tom Reingold, noglider@pobox.com
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  24. #24
    Transportation Cyclist turbo1889's Avatar
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    Even tiny odds (and odds is I believe the most correct term for this sort of thing) become a possibility if you engage in an activity such as cycling (or anything else for that matter) long enough and on a regular enough basis with enough hours and miles under your belt and also in areas with higher odds of a motorist doing something like this just because some areas have more crazy motorists.

    Not saying you should stay of the road or anything, or that you should loose sleep over it but do have it in the back of your mind and if necessary try to find something big and sturdy to put between you and them which they will not be able to easily get through with their car to get at you. For the two incidents I've had that is the technique I used one I escaped between parked cars and got a parked car between me and her (which she did hit and then realizing how much trouble she was going to be in fled once she couldn't get at me) and the other time I used a guardrail which the yo-yo did manage to get one front wheel of his pickup-truck over before he got high centered on it and couldn't get the rest of the way over or even back back off of at which point he got out and tried to catch me on foot which I easily got away on bike.

  25. #25
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    I sometimes wonder why people have so many problems. I ride almost every day in NYC, one of the craziest places in the country in terms of traffic, and I almost never have any issues. Maybe it's just the culture here--people are used to bikes and pedestrians and bad drivers. But I can count on one hand the number of times people have even said something nasty over the past several years, and 2 of them were fellow cyclists! I have never had anything physical happen.

    (edit: I did forget about the one time a delivery guy on a bike ran into me. No real harm done. I think he was looking at some girl who was jogging.)
    1964 JRJ (Bob Jackson), 1973 Wes Mason, 2000ish Colian (Colin Laing), 2013 Velo Orange Pass Hunter

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