Fifty Plus (50+) - Egronomics of bike shorts

I thought I'd ask this question here rather than on the road cycling forum in order to get less flak and a more sober answer. This sounds trivial, maybe even silly, but it isn't. When one wears spandex, padded cycling shorts (sans underwear) should one's privates go down one leg or the other, or be tucked front and center (straight up, so to speak)? I've been riding with the package down one leg or the other, but I find that I don't sit squarely on the saddle, but tend to favor the side - well, you get the picture..

Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know :rolleyes:

Thanks!

Not a silly question at all, FarHorizon. I look forward to some legitimate responses. I'm of sort of the lop-sided persuasion myself, but at times, think there must be a better way.

Tyson

Leave it down the front.

Down the front, everything gets evenly divided and is more comfy around the saddle.

I guess it depends on just how far down the leg you're talking about.

. . .

Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know :rolleyes:

Thanks!

I must admit that I was in my favorite LBS yesterday and a road rider on an Orbea was in. I "Just happened" to notice that he had his up and to his left.

Husband wears his with the two boys evenly divided and Mr. Happy to his left.

I guess it is a matter of what is most comfortable to you and if you are uncomfortable with favoring one side, well, I guess you will just have to move "things" around til you are comfortable--but not in public, please.

God only knows what I look like with my big buns stuffed into spandex!

Yes, foehn, I agree that you are not allowed to move it around in public. After all, moving it around in public is only allowed in baseball.

Ha Ha, hey if it hurts it gets moved, sorry to the public that bares witness.

And, Shifty, doesn't it sound like foehn is one of those people that likes to bare witness?

I thought I'd ask this question here rather than on the road cycling forum in order to get less flak and a more sober answer. This sounds trivial, maybe even silly, but it isn't. When one wears spandex, padded cycling shorts (sans underwear) should one's privates go down one leg or the other, or be tucked front and center (straight up, so to speak)? I've been riding with the package down one leg or the other, but I find that I don't sit squarely on the saddle, but tend to favor the side - well, you get the picture..

Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know :rolleyes:

Thanks!
Maybe it's just me, but I always wear underwear with any shorts, in which case it's not an issue. Am I in the minority here?

Jim

If you want an amusing angle on this issue look at the blokes in red on this thread. You can see how they vote!

http://www.cyclingplus.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=61486

If you want an amusing angle on this issue look at the blokes in red on this thread. You can see how they vote!

http://tinyurl.com/dg6yc

To many this is not trivial or silly but very serious. If I get off centered the ride can be misrable. I have found that not all bicycle shorts and chamois are created equal. First try different shorts and maby a size bigger. A little looser fit may be all that is needed. There is underwear designed to be worn with bicycle clothing. An extra layer such as rain pants also contribute to the problem. Last but not least try fiddling with your riding position including saddle positioning.
Phil

Yes, foehn, I agree that you are not allowed to move it around in public. After all, moving it around in public is only allowed in baseball.

Hey, I fogot about baseball--and that reminds me of the infamous Baseball thing done by Roseanne!


And, Shifty, doesn't it sound like foehn is one of those people that likes to bare witness?

Does Liking to Bare Witness have anything to do with those Jehovah's people going door-to-door nekkid?

...try different shorts and maby a size bigger. A little looser fit may be all that is needed.

Thanks, Phil, but in my looser shorts are where the bulk of the problem lies (no jokes, please..). Things don't stay put with looser shorts and having unnoticed movement while riding can ruin my day. The consensus among the "professional" blokes shown in this thread's photos seems to be "straight-up."

This brings up the question of involuntary physiological responses. They don't happen often on rides, but they do happen. If the "straight up" option is employed, doesn't this risk some chance of at the least, significant immodesty and at worst, exposure above and beyond the waistband?

This, again, isn't asked in jest. I'm a newbie & need to know. Thanks

involuntary physiological responses, exposure above and beyond the waistband?




I'm sorry but I'm laughing about this..... :D

FarHorizon, these are pretty good suggestions, you'll need to try out some positions and see how it goes. Also check out your saddle position so the saddle is not adding to the discomfort, it should be parallel to the ground, or with the front down slightly. Not sure what saddle you ride on, but there are some nice designs these days that are soft in the contact zone, you might look at the options. Good luck

I'm sorry but I'm laughing about this..... :D

Is he saying he gets a woodie? Think of the savings on Viagra.

Hey, I fogot about baseball--and that reminds me of the infamous Baseball thing done by Roseanne!
Does Liking to Bare Witness have anything to do with those Jehovah's people going door-to-door nekkid?

Hey, foehn, How can one forget Roseanne... By "baring witness" I was simply referring to your readily admitted and duly noted youthful interest that caused you to "just happen" to not be able to keep your eyes off that guy's crotch in the LBS. But you can't be blamed. Most of us guys feel like "eye candy" when we wear our spandex.

Oh but to still have those involuntary physiological responses. 21 years in less than pristine military environmet including Vietnam has taken that away from me. Even Viagra is ineffective. You may try bibs for that though. I would still look for the largest chamois in any gear. A buttpack that you can swivel to the front may cover until involuntary response subsides when you stop and get off the bike.

Many write here laughing but I suspect there are many more in the shadows hoping to solve thier own problem. When over 50 just let the chips fall where they may. A ticket for accidental indecent exposure while riding would be almost as great as a speeding ticket. Pay it and frame it.
Phil

...A buttpack that you can swivel to the front may cover until involuntary response subsides when you stop and get off the bike...

Sounds like a plan, Phil! And, by the way, THANKS FOR YOUR MILITARY SERVICE! I appreciate those who have served and do serve.

Stop this madness! The only way to ride, is to pull them (all three) up, up, up, and high, and keep them there. Bibs shorts are very good for this. Any other position will cause injury.

Stop this madness! The only way to ride, is to pull them (all three) up, up, up, and high, and keep them there. Bibs shorts are very good for this. Any other position will cause injury.

And where's the Underwear Nazi when we really need him? :p

Hey, foehn, How can one forget Roseanne... By "baring witness" I was simply referring to your readily admitted and duly noted youthful interest that caused you to "just happen" to not be able to keep your eyes off that guy's crotch in the LBS. But you can't be blamed. Most of us guys feel like "eye candy" when we wear our spandex.


Wellllll, for all the talk about "packages" and who's got what, where and such and in what position and what condition, one would think that youse all would be eager to put out some eye candy ... I mean there are lotsa women who do it for you guys, no?

And I gotta say I normally don't glance at a guy like that, because I am usually too busy yakking, but this guy . . .well, WELL, lets just say he had reeeeely tight fitting shorts and his chamois must've been pretty nonexistant--or he was dipped in black paint!

I could never understand why most straight guys cannot handle being eye candy. . .to paraphrase: "all men are good to look at, but some men are better than others!" :)

..one would think that youse all would be eager to put out some eye candy ...

I'd be happy to oblige, but I'm not what you'd want to look at. Thirty years ago, though... :D

I could never understand why most straight guys cannot handle being eye candy. . .to paraphrase: "all men are good to look at, but some men are better than others!" :)

I guess I am not one of those categorized as "most straight guys" then foenh. I don't ever mind being eye candy, especially to the right eyes. But to paraphrase you, "all women are the right eyes, but some women are righter than others!"

Mine seems to have a mind of its own and does its own thinking.
It often strays and goes were it wants, but I've noticed lately that it asks for help every once in awhile.

I guess I am not one of those categorized as "most straight guys" then foenh. I don't ever mind being eye candy, especially to the right eyes. But to paraphrase you, "all women are the right eyes, but some women are righter than others!"


But all looks are good unless you are not getting any from the "righter eyes" , no? :p

I never complain about the looks. But the "cat calls" are even better. So what's better, to be loved or lusted after? I want both!

I find a jock strap is the answer as it stops all movement. Without it, you risk serious injury when you sit back down after being out of the saddle.

I never complain about the looks. But the "cat calls" are even better. So what's better, to be loved or lusted after? I want both!

A well rounded man (and you can take that statement any way you wish!). It is good to booste both heart AND ego, no?
:)

A well rounded man (and you can take that statement any way you wish!). It is good to booste both heart AND ego, no?
:)

Ah,yes, 'tis ego that makes us soar. Don't know about you, but I like being high. And, confidentially, spandex is cheaper that some of the other methods. (So I've been told).

And it what company is it considered acceptable to get your hand inside and down the front of that lycra and haul the lot back up when it has slipped?

I have to keep it in the middle - because If on either side, it pokes out just above my knee :)

In my experience, John Thomas should always point North and his suitcases should be up there with him. That way, when you sit forward on the saddle, there is no damage to the baggage.

It may be an indelicate suggestion, but take a look at the telltale bulge on the boys when they're up on the podium - I think you might find I'm in the majority.

And it what company is it considered acceptable to get your hand inside and down the front of that lycra and haul the lot back up when it has slipped?

Hubby-type-person sez if it is a'slippin (alot) then yer shorts are too loose/worn out.

Run it down your leg and tuck it into your sock!