General Cycling Discussion - Waving to Motorists

With another new thread asking if we wave to fellow cyclists, I'm wondering how we react to ignorant motorists.

I've seen cyclists giving the finger to motorists who beep at them or yell abuse at them on the road. In my experience it leaves both parties wound up.

I prefer to smile and wave. That way I ride on smiling, knowing that the driver is left feeling frustrated that I 'didn't get the message'.

It makes them think that I've misinterpreted their yelling and beeping as a 'friendly hello'. I love messing with their minds.:D

i do that too. its more fun in montreal than TO tho as those drivers suck lol. velocipedio would know

I generally wave at motorists if I've made eye contact with them, and they usually wave back. (This is the country, son! :p) I've had very few people honk at me, and of the 4 I remember, two of the honks WERE friendly, from people I know, one was (I believe) a warning from a jittery motorist letting me know they were passing, and one.....well, I don't know, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. It was a big van, passing me on a hill, and they honked when they were already halfway past. It MIGHT have been someone who just happened to recognize me when looking in their rear-view mirror, or it might have been someone PO'ed at my being in their way, and trying to scare me.

Sometimes I'm not sure if someone is trying to say hello with a beep.

That's why the smile and wave works so well. If they're being genuinely friendly, then I'm responding appropriately. If they're being nasty - I get to mess with their minds.

Originally posted by MediaCreations
Sometimes I'm not sure if someone is trying to say hello with a beep.

That's why the smile and wave works so well. If they're being genuinely friendly, then I'm responding appropriately. If they're being nasty - I get to mess with their minds.

Which is not very difficult, judging by your average motorist. :D

Many motorist beep the horn because they don't know if you know they are behind you. They have a fear of hitting us and want to give a warning. So a smile and a wave most of the time is an appropriate reaction on our part --even though the sound of that horn is the most irritating, anger provoking sound imaginable. Waving the finger at them is irritating to them because they thought they were doing a good deed.
I've been a passenger im many cars that have honked at a cyclist; when asked why they invariably said I want to warn him; to let them know I'm here. Then I give my lecture about how riders can hear them about the same time that they see the rider and it makes it unnecessary to honk. Sometimes they believe me. But they don't get rid of the fear that we are somehow going to fall down in front of them or veer into the driving lane without warning.

This is not to say there aren't genuine A'holes out there who would just as soon run us over, but they, I think, are in the minority. So a smile and a wave --even at them-- is the best policy. It works for me.

When it doesn't work you can always flip the bird into their rear view mirror.

Originally posted by MediaCreations
With another new thread asking if we wave to fellow cyclists, I'm wondering how we react to ignorant motorists.

I've seen cyclists giving the finger to motorists who beep at them or yell abuse at them on the road. In my experience it leaves both parties wound up.

I prefer to smile and wave. That way I ride on smiling, knowing that the driver is left feeling frustrated that I 'didn't get the message'.

It makes them think that I've misinterpreted their yelling and beeping as a 'friendly hello'. I love messing with their minds.:D
EXACTLY! I always assume it's a hello and wave. I usually wave to all anyway - it keeps them guessing.
Joe
:beer:

Without going in to how I respond to drivers who's actions I consider abusive.

I do make it a point to wave to ALL motorist who are conscientious enough to slow down and wait until they have a clear path to pass me. I want them to know without a doubt that their actions are greatly appreciated.

... I also wave to motorists who wait at intersections, or wait before pulling out of driveways, to allow me to pass, thanking them for their consideration.

Abusive motorists... I try my best to ignore. Which also messes with the head... allthough, around these parts, there are alot of ignorant individuals, that probably aren't bright enough to know they're being ignored. But I feel better knowing I didn't antgonize an idiot.:D

Originally posted by joeprim

EXACTLY! I always assume it's a hello and wave. I usually wave to all anyway - it keeps them guessing.
Joe

Hmmm...I generally assume that they are jerks and give them a big friendly wave.

I wave and say "thanks" to polite drivers: those who wait patiently for traffic to clear before passing me, those who give me some consideration.

I often wave drivers through at 4-way stops. They usually expect me to blow through the stop sign and are surprised when I don't.

If I see a motorist wave to me, I return the gesture.

I make it a point to wave to cops. I figure they make a good ally.

Originally posted by RegularGuy


Hmmm...I generally assume that they are jerks and give them a big friendly wave.

I wave and say "thanks" to polite drivers: those who wait patiently for traffic to clear before passing me, those who give me some consideration.

I often wave drivers through at 4-way stops. They usually expect me to blow through the stop sign and are surprised when I don't.

If I see a motorist wave to me, I return the gesture.

I make it a point to wave to cops. I figure they make a good ally.

I do the same, but when the driver is being a little jerk, i like to send him/her kisses, that really makes them confused :D

I think I've done everything: waving, thumbs-up, shouting angrily, being nice, being not-so-nice. Somehow, though, I've avoided the use of obscene gestures, sometimes stopping in mid-gesture before I used it.

Yet, I do remember a situation when I was inexperienced. I had not "taken the lane" on a narrow-laned four lane road. When a wave of traffic hit, they squeezed me. At the same time, the two passing motorists honked loudly at each other and scared the living do-do out of me.

I guess when you feel your life threatened, you just react. I pulled over and shouted, "Blank You!" (well, not "blank," but I can't print it here) at the top of my lungs, I mean, with GUSTO.

Just then I looked to my right. There was an elderly couple standing outside their parked car just staring blankly at me.

Great! Now I'm seen as a jerk. :rolleyes:

However, I try to wave to people who assist me, or try to communicate appreciation to them when appropriate. Yes, I wave to police quite frequently, too.

I am stupid!
I can't help pointing out motorists' mistakes in a less than polite way. I often hope they will say 'sorry, my bad', but most of the time I get a finger or verbal response that contains some very, very bad words. Mind you, I never swear or give the finger, but I do say things like...
''You idiot! What the HECK is wrong with you?!? You could have killed me!!!''
They usually don't get the point.
Maybe my approach is wrong?

I'm being a little flippant about this, but in all seriousness, I realize I need to do the smile and wave thing. But unfortunately some drivers view you as another annoying road obstacle, like a squirrel or large pothole.

On a recent ride on Montreal's Lakeshore, I was cruising at about 30 km/h in a 30 km/h-maximum zone, with signs clearly indicating that this road was supposed to be shared between cars and bikes.

So, there I am, doing very close to the maximum, when I heard a VERY loud and insistent honking. Despite the fact that, under the Quebec traffic code, I don't have to cede the road , I move over to let the guy pass. His window's down and he shouts some offensive nonsense and flips me the bird, all the while swerving his car as if to hit me.

Incidentally, since I was going the max, he had to break the speed limit to pass me.

So I'm really cheezed at this guy. I charge after him, accelerating to about 50 km/h to catch him -- not only was he speeding, he was doing at least 45 km/h in a 30 km/h zone. When I do catch him, this time on the driver's side, I yell in his face [at this point, having almost been killed, having sprinted 200m and really, really angry, my blood is pumping, I'm red in the face, and I'm not inclined to be pleasant] "You ****ing moron! You almost killed me; you were speeding -- and I have your license number [i]FJF 575. Get off the ****ing road!"

Needless to say, I think I freaked him out. I don't think the guy -- late-50s, early-60s -- expected to be caught, never mind having someone recite his license number. He took the first exit off the lakeshore. I was going to call the cops and report him and his license number for reckless driving when I got hom, but I never did. If I ever see him again, I have a set of keys just itching to make acquaintance with his paint job.

I will wave and smile at drivers who drive responsably and safely. I'll give a smile and thumbs-up to drivers who respect my right-of-way when I have it and who come to complete stops at stop signs. Needless to say, I do this very, very rarely.

I have never been honked at by a female...mainly pervs who honk and yell out their windows such jewels as "Hey, baby!", "Woohoo, nice ass!", etc. I glance at them like they are something nasty I had stepped in, give a sarcastic little wave, look away, and speed up.

When I do catch him, this time on the driver's side, I yell in his face [at this point, having almost been killed, having sprinted 200m and really, really angry, my blood is pumping, I'm red in the face, and I'm not inclined to be pleasant] "You ****ing moron! You almost killed me; you were speeding -- and I have your license number FJF 575. Get off the ****ing road!"


I like it when they think that once they pass they're in the clear. I've caught up many individuals that have cust me off, etc. They are much more humble at 0 mph that at 30 mph.

Originally posted by velocipedio
On a recent ride on Montreal's Lakeshore...

That is quite a story. I have never had anything remotely like that happen to me in Montreal (or anywhere for that matter)

I have a set of keys just itching to make acquaintance with his paint job.

Try a D-lock on any flat panel - far more expensive damage and much easier to do.

Originally posted by Spire
That is quite a story. I have never had anything remotely like that happen to me in Montreal (or anywhere for that matter)
You're lucky. It was @ 5:30 in the afternoon, heading east. He honked and passed me just where Dorval Village turns residential. I caught him just before Lachine. I don't remember the make of the car, but it was a silver-grey sedan. Keep your eyes open for the license plate.

I must be very lucky. At least 97% of the motorists, bike riders or pedestrians I've waved to have smiled and waved back. To make this even more amazing I live in New Jersey where no one is suppose to be polite or friendly. If some one honks their horn at me it's usually a light tap on the horn to let me know they're behind me and are going to pass me.

I feel left out. Maybe tomorrow some one will try to run me over, give me the finger or throw stuff at me as they pass me. I can only hope.

Originally posted by velocipedio

I don't remember the make of the car, but it was a silver-grey sedan. Keep your eyes open for the license plate.

Unfortunately this isn't really enough info to go on. I drive a silver grey sedan, and so do many other people (I think grey is the second most popular colour these days)

Yeah... but you probably don't hagve license #FJF 575.

Originally posted by velocipedio
Yeah... but you probably don't hagve license #FJF 575.

Defnitly don't, I will keep and eye, but really there is nothing to do, but if the same sort of incident happens to me, I'll tell you. I go through there each time I communte (both ways)

Do ya really think the guy will take out his temper on a cyclist again, when Velocepedio scared the living daylights out of him? I think he's one guy who will no longer see cyclists as helpless targets. :p

Originally posted by Inkwolf
Do ya really think the guy will take out his temper on a cyclist again, when Velocepedio scared the living daylights out of him? I think he's one guy who will no longer see cyclists as helpless targets. :p

We shall see about that. Maybe he thinks that just that one cyclist actually defends himself

I've actually learned to be more direct and proactive over the years. One of the guys I ride with -- Henry -- is very good about using a booming voice to let motorists know they're driving like morons. He also taught me the technique of riding up to an offender and knocking on his driver-side window. Scares the piss out of them.

You can read this story (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4272&highlight=darts) for a similar adventure from last year.

Sure you want to ride with us, Spire? :)

Originally posted by velocipedio
So I'm really cheezed at this guy. I charge after him, accelerating to about 50 km/h to catch him...

Now that's a nifty response. Now, I'm nowhere near that fast (and probably never will be), but I'm happy that at least some of us are. Behaviour like that of your driver doesn't come from a rational place, and I think it's appropriate that it's dealt with swiftly, with enough force to make a lasting emotional impact. Spanking has its place.

But back to the waving thing...

I often wave because I *do* think the person honking might actually know me or think they know me, so I do try and look up and see if I know them. And then there are the nervous "ooh, watch out I'm behind you" honks. You can sort of differentiate them from the angry honking for the most part, mostly because the angry or frustrated people lean on the horn a lot more.

It took me a while to stop feeling a sharp spike of anger whenever people honked, but now that I'm more used to riding in traffic I have a better sense of when people are attempting to be helpful or friendly and when they are being aggressive or obnoxious. I find that it's a lot better for my psyche when I ride with the assumption that most people are just trying to do the right thing, and I think it actually helps me to stay calm even when some motorists choose to behave badly. (I noticed this today with a particularly badly behaved driver.)

that said, I remember waving at a honking driver this past winter and getting the finger in return. Ah well. I *was* being half-sarcastic at the time, so maybe he picked that up.

well, i must admit to having used lots of techniques with honking or aggressive motorists...

when i was younger i would always react negatively, yelling, shooting the finger or whatever. i quite often would chase motorists and then have a huge screaming match. but although it feels good i don't really think it usually does much good. also as road rage and gun use has climbed iit's also not the safest thing to do. A few years back in downtown Portland of all places (the guy was a conservative from the country) i also got into a fist fight with a guy and i was assaulted in Houston in my car -- there was construction and we merged from 1 to 2 lanes and i had been sitting in traffic for over 50 minutes and some guy was driving his SUV over the construction barriers so i pulled over a little to block him. he honked and flashed lights and then the traffic ahead moved a little and with my window down at about 5mph a fist from out of nowhere connected with my jaw - i figured anone driving over barriers and assaulting someone wasn't particularly sane so i rolled the window up and pulled back over to let him by and ignored him as he yelled at me as he passed - i'm not a coward or anything but what's the use in this situation?

anyway, most of the time i use the smile and wave and thank you and i think it does usually work, although sometimes i'm too pissed off to think and still shoot the finger -- for example this morning i had to turn left and moved from the right to the left lane to make a left turn just as a light turned green and the driver did not have to slow down or anything but he hokned wildly his disapproval

what i have been doing recently that seems to have a little more effect and also feels good - when someone does something really dangerous, i chase them down and catch them at a light (usually possible) and then either rap on their window as velocipedio mentioned or in some cases i park myself and my bike in front of their car to get even more attention. Then i VERY NICELY and calmly explain something like "excuse me, what you did back there was really dangerous. i understand that you might be in a hurry or whatever and for you it might be a $200 fender-bender or mess up your paint job or ticket or insurance claim, but for me this was a serious threat to my life. could you please keep an eye out for cyclists in the future?"

sometimes people react rudely or defensively or state that i should be on the sidewalk or something, but quite often people appolgize - maybe many do it just b/c they're scared of me or something...

on the positive side, i fairly often have motorists who after having a close call (turning in front of me being the most common) will make an effort to verbally apologize and i am almost always friendly even if they endangered my life with their driving mistake or inattention... i figure they're be more careful next time if i'm nice

Originally posted by Cyclesister
I have never been honked at by a female...mainly pervs who honk and yell out their windows such jewels as "Hey, baby!", "Woohoo, nice ass!", etc. I glance at them like they are something nasty I had stepped in, give a sarcastic little wave, look away, and speed up.

Yeah, I've had that happen a few times. Men! :rolleyes: (With apologies to all the men here who haven't taken part in the Riding is good for your... thread.)

Ellie

Originally posted by Ellie


Yeah, I've had that happen a few times. Men! :rolleyes: (With apologies to all the men here who haven't taken part in the Riding is good for your... thread.)

Ellie

I recently had an incident with a car full of young women. They offered themselves to me .. said I could have any one of them and spouted their cup sizes. I just waved, smiled and kept pedaling since I am married and not desparate. Sometimes you get them making tongue motions .. women are just as bad.
:beer:

Originally posted by Stor Mand


I recently had an incident with a car full of young women. They offered themselves to me .. said I could have any one of them and spouted their cup sizes. I just waved, smiled and kept pedaling since I am married and not desparate. Sometimes you get them making tongue motions .. women are just as bad.
:beer:

:D

I know... I am one!! Although I've never made tongue motions. :beer:

Ellie

Yesterday, while out on a ride we were almost sideswiped by this moron in a mercedes who was yapping on her cell. SO at the stop light, my riding buddy yelled, "watch it, she's talking on her phone" and since her window was open, she heard him. I honestly thought she was drunk, at first, when I saw her weaving around. I suggested that from now on we be more colorful in these situations and say, "watch it, this idiot is yapping on her cell phone", perhaps shaming them into paying attention. Even if it doesn't work, it lets them know what you think of their driving.

Originally posted by Ellie


:D

I know... I am one!! Although I've never made tongue motions. :beer:

Ellie

I must clarify .. I didn't mean that it's a bad thing. :beer:

Originally posted by Ellie


Yeah, I've had that happen a few times. Men! :rolleyes: (With apologies to all the men here who haven't taken part in the Riding is good for your... thread.)

Ellie
I stand corrected.

On narrow, winding roads I use hand signals to notify cars behind me that it is not safe to pass and wave them forward as soon as I see that it is safe. I give them a friendly "thank you" wave as they go by. I have found that most drivers appreciate this. Does anyone else do this?

Originally posted by hunterseeker


Now that's a nifty response. Now, I'm nowhere near that fast (and probably never will be), but I'm happy that at least some of us are. Behaviour like that of your driver doesn't come from a rational place, and I think it's appropriate that it's dealt with swiftly, with enough force to make a lasting emotional impact. Spanking has its place.

This is great-You must be a writer because no one else could put this down so eloquoently!

Originally posted by SteveE
On narrow, winding roads I use hand signals to notify cars behind me that it is not safe to pass and wave them forward as soon as I see that it is safe. I give them a friendly "thank you" wave as they go by. I have found that most drivers appreciate this. Does anyone else do this?

It's something I do try to do on narrow country lanes also, last time I did it I could hear a car behind me and when I thought it was safe for him to pass waved him through, when he didn't pass, I waited for the next safe place and waved him through again, yet again he didn't move. When for the third time I saw a safe place for him to pass I turned and shouted in no uncertain terms for him to pass only to see POLICE emblazoned across the front of the car.

In all fairnesss he then took the hint and passed:)

Returning to the subject of the thread whilst I don't take my hand off the bars,I do open the palm of my hand to signify my thanks as the cars that stay behind me eventually pass.

I really don't think the message gets across but it's something that I'll continue to do.

The only think is though, that the speed limit on most country lanes in England is 60mph. You can't even come close to that on a bike, so would you really be holding them up as you waved for them to stay back?

so how many of you have been riding along in your group, when a car comes up behind you and the driver pips the horn? the usual cyclists reaction is to flick the v's or the finger without looking. i have done this too..only to have the car come past and see that it's a fellow clubmate and his wife in the car with their kids in the back...how embarrassing!

i have also been on a ride with clubmates when a cycling-ignorant family member got stuck behind us all in her car. i didn't know it was her and she didn't recognise me in my cycling gear. as she passed she was giving the usual abuse and gestures until her kids in the back of the car saw it was me. makes you wonder what kids are being taught by their parents.. anyway when i got home i rang her and asked her what her problem was. she just said she was sorry and wouldn't do it again!

nowadays i can't even be bothered with any aggressiveness towards drivers, i think that approach of just waving with a smile pisses them off more!

cabledonut.

i figure that the ignorant people are lost causes, so i reward the good ones with polite waves or nods to acknowledge that i appreciate their kindness. i don't even bother with the rude ones. as long as they are past me and have already done their deed with no physical damage to me i'm ok.