Jokes & Humor - Red Neck fishing Joke

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Red Baron
05-19-05, 05:17 PM
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in our house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realize that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-block." :D

midgie
05-19-05, 05:43 PM
Good one, lets keep the redneck ball rolling.


After having their 11th child, an Arkansas couple
decided that was enough, as they could not afford a
larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he
and
his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called
a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was
expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go
home,
get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up
to
his ear and count to 10.
The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest fella in
the
world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to
myear is going to help me."
Trust me," said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb
andput itin a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and
resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, West
Virginia,
and Marseilles Illinois
midgie
05-21-05, 11:20 AM
More Redneck Humor



The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite
fighting unit called the US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).

These North Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri,
Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped
into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK.