Foo - Best (or worst) place to fart?

Since I'm bored, respond with the best or worst place to fart.



I have to say it's pretty satisfying to fart while swimming in the ocean.

Since I'm bored, respond with the best or worst place to fart.



I have to say it's pretty satisfying to fart while swimming in the ocean.


Worst:

After coleslaw. In bed. Next to your wife. And it sings. A long time.

I'd say in the elevator. Oh, and this one time...oh man I can't believe I'm gonna admit to this. Ok...I was in Wal-Mart and it was 1:00 am (I'm a night owl) doing some grocery shopping. So no one was there. I let one rip...because well, I was alone. Until this guy comes down the isle. So it's obvious who the culprit is. He looked at me with this, oh my god, that came from a chick look and all I could do was smile. Broccoli...what can I say.

HUMMM, How can I say this?

With your GF in that always so well known position. Not cool.


Should I even say this? 69 :o

Worst: I was in a training class couple weeks ago. We take a break, and as I'm (the first one) walking out the door, I bend over to throw away my gum. Prffft! Out of nowhere. I had to turn around and excuse myself, laughing, though nobody said a word. Man, I'm laughing just thinking about it.

Best? Any time you're (pretty) certain it won't be noticed. Crop dusting* is always fun.






* Farting near people as you walk by, thereby making it appear someone in that group did it

This thread's killing me. :roflmao:

Anywhere after eating raisin bran.

I love the stuff, but I can only eat it in moderation. I mean, come on, it's bran and fruit. I swear you could use that stuff as some sort of interrogation tactic.

Best - when you have control of the window lock.

Worst - Don't eat taco bell and drink a lot of beer the night before a first date.

subways are great places (worst if someone other than you does it) because you can watch the faces of everyone as the smell hits their noses. priceless.

Best - when you have control of the window lock.

Worst - Don't eat taco bell and drink a lot of beer the night before a first date.

LOL that first one is hilarous.

Well I hate to say this but during my math class, i was holding one in and bam it came out. I felt like such a dumb ass! I just sat their and laughed into my hand :o :D

There are a lot more good times to let one go than bad ones.

subways are great places (worst if someone other than you does it) because you can watch the faces of everyone as the smell hits their noses. priceless.

Okay, I thought you were talking about the sandwich place. Which is nuts, because that's what I was going to nominate as the best place.

If you can sneak one out in the line, or let it go before anyone else comes around, you get to say, "Man, that roast beef don't smell very good. I wonder how long they keep it before they throw it out?"

Here seems like as good a place as any... excuse me.

My brother says he can never hold one in. He has no control over them so they just slip on by whenever and wherever. I think he's pulling my finger, er, I mean pulling my leg.

Best - in a closed place, elevator, small room etc. The ones that are silent but stink all to HELL.

Worst - In bed...when your significant other is....................and they're about 6" away HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry.

I say they are all good. Wife says they are all bad.

best = whenever it is loud and stinky

worst = when it's messy

HUMMM, How can I say this?

With your GF in that always so well known position. Not cool.


Should I even say this? 69 :o


Reminds me of a story about a virginal young man, a lady of the evening, refried beans and a reply of "This is swell, but I don't think I can stand 67 more of those!

Good place to fart? Anywhere there's a dog to blame it on,cropdusting is good too. My favorite is in the tub!

Bad palce? None, just bad situations.

Why do farts stink?








So deaf people can appreciate them too!

There isn't a bad place to fart. People need to relax about farting more. And belching. I likes me a chick who ain't afraid to belch or fart. Good thing I live in OK...

*sigh*

I'd say in the elevator.

The elevator is best if it's crowded and you fart silently. Turn to the person next to you and say, "Jeez! What crawled up inside of you and died?"

Best: when the show off a-hole in the group grabs your seat post and tells you you have a flat.

Worst: Squatting down to catch.

Worse: The walking farts

My older brother has a CD with 101 different farts.

A link for everyone to enjoy! (http://www.farts.com/index.htm)

Worst: Any time it follows through.

Best: Every other time.

Best: on a DH track with the other guy behind you right on your tail :p
Best: science class, because it smells really bad in there
Worst: sitting down on a chair

If any here watches family guy you will understand this:


Brian: Face it Peter your a terrible liar.
Goes to flashback scene in an elevator with only Peter and a buisness man in it.
Peter farts loudly.
Peter: It was you.
Buisness mans eyes widen.

I like to do it in other people's cubes/offices at work.

That's horrible, terribly terribly horrible. Worst than a horror movie.


HUMMM, How can I say this?

With your GF in that always so well known position. Not cool.


Should I even say this? 69 :o

Best - in a closed place, elevator, small room etc. The ones that are silent but stink all to HELL . . .




'round here we call these "SBDs"--silent but deadly!

Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in pew.

Worst:

After coleslaw. In bed. Next to your wife. And it sings. A long time.

Took a while but I found it. Cycleprincess posted this not too long ago. Seems related:

http://www.davidbroderick.com/Files/smiley.gif

Farting like really loud when someone is doing their wedding vows! Now that is bad.

Farting like really loud when someone is doing their wedding vows! Now that is bad.


Especially if you're the celebrant.

Especially if you're the celebrant.

:roflmao:


I would think the absolute worst time/place for a fart would be for a teacher while teaching in front of a class full of little kids (although, come to think of it, high schoolers would be viscious about it!). You would never live it down. Thank goodness it has never happened to me...yet!

Nah, MsVicki... If you used the fart to punctuate a point you'd score big points!

<scenario=History class>

Then there's Musolini. Anyone know what Musolini did?

Phhhhhhttttt

That's right, he took a big ol' crap on the people of Italy.</scenario>

The kids would be all OMFG!!! :eek: :lol: Ummm, would you mind repeating that? :lol:
Which at that point you'd have to back up the sound effects with an encore performance.

Stacey, are you Mr Garrison?

Nah, I just think like her :D

In eighth grade, our room had this ventilation system that blew up. I was sitting on it and farted. The vent blew it up and down I guess, because, a few seconds later, across the room, a bunch of guys all started gagging and saying "Aw, who dealt it?" and accusing each other.

'round here we call these "SBDs"--silent but deadly!

Ninja farts!

Last night my husband picked up my 3 year old and threw her over his shoulder and she let one rip...really long!! We were laughing so hard about it, and so of course she is laughing too. She had the "laughing" farts instead of the "walking" farts!!! Then later that night when she is on my lap and we are in the rocking chair, singing songs etc she starts farting again...laughing farts!! It took me an hour to get her calmed down after we were laughing so hard. Kids are great. Gee...I wonder where she get's her gassy tendencies...hmmm...her mother?

The Best: In Wal-Mart. Many of the patrons at our local WM appear to be connoisseurs of this kind of thing.

The Worst: In a sauna.

That reminds me. Playing intramural basketball in college. All that running up & down the court just shakes things up, you know? There is NO better way to clear the lane!

. . .There is NO better way to clear the lane!

I wonder how bad you would have to be to clear the lane to take the lane on yer bike?

My brother, myself and my Dad are heading out to our cottage a few years back in my Dads truck.

Brother lets one go. BANG! Honest, just like a gun shot.

A few seconds later, when the after effect sets in, my father, never at a lost for words cries out:

Holy S@$t! Ya can SEE that one!

Nah, MsVicki... If you used the fart to punctuate a point you'd score big points!

<scenario=History class>

Then there's Musolini. Anyone know what Musolini did?

Phhhhhhttttt

That's right, he took a big ol' crap on the people of Italy.</scenario>

The kids would be all OMFG!!! :eek: :lol: Ummm, would you mind repeating that? :lol:
Which at that point you'd have to back up the sound effects with an encore performance.

:D haaaa haaa!

I've made kids leave the class before because they've been so gassy. Always especially bad on pizza day. Ugh.

best... when you're windimg up a sprint.

worst... that time when i was browsing cds in a record short and really had to let one go... only it wasn't a fart...

No, farts do not have lumps.

Cool fart scenes: Buckman in Down Periscope when the sub us bottom sitting.

Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi , but Lucas cut the scene in the DVD version.

Christopher Knight in "Surreal Life 4" on VH1 when the yogi said they were going to get everything out.