Professional Cycling For the Fans - Tour de Farce

Here's an article I've found on www.chicagotribune.com. It pissed me off, just a bit. It pissed me off because it shows just how much we Americans are into instant gratification and aren't able to wait for things. It also made me pissed because it seems like he isn't even trying to understand bike racing. It's by Eric Zorn. Here it is:
----------------------------------
TOUR DE FARCE

Enough already with the Tour de France.

It happens too often -– every year -— for an event that drags on more than three weeks, but the worst part is, it’s not a proper race!

It’s a series of little races – time trials, even, in some cases – that almost completely lack the “hey, let’s all race around France and see who gets to Paris first” spirit and drama suggested by the name of the event.

It’s as though the Chicago Marathon were a bunch of 3- to 4-mile races spread out over nine days.

A real Tour de France wouldn’t have to be a Cannonball Run of crazed endurance. There could still be 21 days of racing. Each day, however, they ought to have a staggered start so that the leaders get an actual lead instead of simply a lead in the calculation of cumulative time.

This would make it difficult to impossible for “teams” of riders to work together to help their best rider, but who cares? Teams are antithetical to all forms of racing except relays.

An actual bike race around France might be interesting enough to watch every year. But unless you’re a cycling freak, the Tour now languidly unfolding is a dud that can't end soon enough for me.
---------------------------------------------------

I say we clog his inbox with e-mails letting you know what we think of his opinion. His e-mail is ericzorn@aol.com. Feel free to sign him up for porn spam, unless it's illegal to do that, then don't.

Contacting him is not worth it. He is an idiot. Maybe he'd rather watch RAAM.

Is that the same tool who wrote a piece last year that Lance Armstrong is not a real athlete and came up with some ice hockey player who could walk away with a Tour win???

Flamebait rubbish.

He's obviously writing stuff like this to get attention. Best to ignore writers like these who are desperate to be noticed.

lol, wait, was that actually printed?

that dude better get back to watchin his arena football

I'd like to see the original draft of the article, as written in crayon.

My favorite thing on the local news is they will report what happened that day and then announce " the Tour is not over, Lance can still win".. They normal viewer will see that Boonen or Mcewen won that days stage and go away saying, well I guess Lance lost..

This guy should try riding a bike in 53-11 first...

That's my usual remark to non-cyclists who think the Tour isn't spectacular....

he's got a point- I think- the tour could be made more visually exciting and easier to understand

Zorn considers himself to be a major wit, but this piece is too lame for words. Maybe he should stick to jabs at airline food or something.

he's got a point- I think- the tour could be made more visually exciting and easier to understand

How typical of the direction of our country. "Uhhhh duhhhhh I like have to think? WTF?". I am a big fan of elegant simplicity, and guess what, the Tour has that. Watered-down, spoon-fed, pop-music-set silliness is, unfortunately, rather popular. In any case, the Tour is no more complicated than baseball (less, I'd say, by a lot) so the confusion makes little sense to me. I guess "chicks dig home runs" is true, as do guys. Our country must be full of mental premature you-know-whats with the pathetic need for instant gratification. Pah!

Edit: Forgot to add, "I f@rt in your general direction!"

Edit 2: Are you saying that millions of Europeans are smarter than US viewers? They have no trouble understanding the Tour.

Edit 2: Are you saying that millions of Europeans are smarter than US viewers? They have no trouble understanding the Tour.

IQ and the Wealth of Nations (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iq_and_the_wealth_of_nations#National_IQ_estimates)

OOPS! :D

no talent, ass clown...

Edit 2: Are you saying that millions of Europeans are smarter than US viewers? They have no trouble understanding the Tour.

Because it's part of the culture. They grow up watching and following it. Just as most Indians have no trouble understanding cricket, and most Americans understand baseball and American football.

I think it's cool how cycling is starting to percolate into American culture. I just hope we don't homogenize it to suit American tastes and attention spans.

What's so hard to understand about a Tour? The rider who finishes the entire course in the quickest time wins. I'm stunned that this is a hard concept to grasp.

What's so hard to understand about a Tour? The rider who finishes the entire course in the quickest time wins. I'm stunned that this is a hard concept to grasp.


with some restrictions and bonuses and the bunch finish rule, so its not exactly just straight ride time

What I find confusing about the TDF is this, is it called "Tour de France" or as Bob R calls it the "Tour day Franse"? ;) ;)

:beer:

IQ and the Wealth of Nations (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iq_and_the_wealth_of_nations#National_IQ_estimates)

This is not a flame, Dolomiti (unless you wrote the book :rolleyes: ), just an observation.
Wow, how smb. can get a book like that published is... phenomenal. From the write-up: "For the most of the 185 nations, no studies are available. In those cases, the authors have presented an estimated value by taking averages of the IQs of surrounding nations. For example, the authors arrived at a figure of 84 for El Salvador by averaging their calculations of 79 for Guatemala and 88 for Colombia."

This is, quite simply, the most moronic thing I've ever seen. And besides, while Guatemala is a neighbor,Colombia is nowhere near El Salvador... it's about 3-4 countries removed.

And re: Eric Zorn, this is probably the kind of idiot who would look at you with eyes blazing if you suggested any sensible (from an outsiders/non-American's point of view) changes to any of "our" sports- Am. football, basketball, baseball. Idiot, pure and simple.

Wow, how smb. can get a book like that published is... phenomenal. From the write-up: "For the most of the 185 nations, no studies are available. In those cases, the authors have presented an estimated value by taking averages of the IQs of surrounding nations. For example, the authors arrived at a figure of 84 for El Salvador by averaging their calculations of 79 for Guatemala and 88 for Colombia."

This is, quite simply, the most moronic thing I've ever seen. And besides, while Guatemala is a neighbor,Colombia is nowhere near El Salvador... it's about 3-4 countries removed.


Yes it confuses me too. Did they even provide widely distributed statistics for each nation? Or just select one group (one cultural group, or ethnic group, or geographical group)

Like they said they just guessed what the average IQ of rural Chinese, and averaged that with the Bejiing statistics. Doesn't sound very scientific.

It’s a series of little races – time trials, even, in some cases – that almost completely lack the “hey, let’s all race around France and see who gets to Paris first” spirit and drama suggested by the name of the event.
Yes! It kind of reminds me of... a football game! Where all the players get to rest between plays, then sit on the bench while the other team has the ball.



It’s as though the Chicago Marathon were a bunch of 3- to 4-mile races spread out over nine days.
Actually it's like having the Chicago Marathon raced its full distance every day for 21 days.



An actual bike race around France might be interesting enough to watch every year. But unless you’re a cycling freak, the Tour now languidly unfolding is a dud that can't end soon enough for me.
Just like any other sport. ;)

Let's face it, every sport has its arcane rules and idiosyncrasies that make it challenging to understand for novice observers. Baseball: infield fly rule. Hockey: blue lines. Basketball: offsides. NASCAR: caution/pit stop rules. And on and on.

It's really ignorant of Eric Zorn to come out and demonstrate such contempt for a sport he clearly has no understanding of. The only reason he can get away with this is because cycling doesn't have a huge following in the U.S., so it probably appears obtuse and confusing to many of the Trib's readers. Add in the current popularity of bashing all things French, and you get an easy recipe for cheap shots.

Zorn's readers would be better served by some attempt to understand the sport of cycling and its premier event, the TdF, rather than a cheap putdown attempt.

Hey, that sounds pretty good, maybe I'll send this in to the Trib's editors.

Basketball: offsides.

WTF?

WTF?

I think he meant, Soccer: offsides. Basketball: 3-second rule

WTF?
LOL, see what I mean about arcane rules and novice observers???? It's not called offsides, but what's the rule about being downcourt ahead of the ball?

LOL, see what I mean about arcane rules and novice observers???? It's not called offsides, but what's the rule about being downcourt ahead of the ball?

There's no rule against that. It's just cherry-picking ;) [Edit: if your teammate is all alone under the basket with no defenders around]

Here's Zorn's repsonse to all the e-mails he's gotten. He lists the top nine disagreements with his views. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ericzorn/weblog/archives/2005/07/the_peloton_of.html#more

There's no rule against that. It's just cherry-picking ;) [Edit: if your teammate is all alone under the basket with no defenders around]

I must have been thinking about hockey. What's the icing rule?

He's obviously writing stuff like this to get attention. Best to ignore writers like these who are desperate to be noticed.

yeah writing a daily column for the largest newspaper in the 3rd largest market in America just screams someone who badly needs to advance his career.

Icing is if you shoot/pass the puck toward the opponent's goal from behind the red line (center ice) and no one from your team touches it before it crosses the goal line (unless it actually goes into the goal). In professional leagues, the opponents also have to touch the puck before icing is called; it is called as soon as the puck crosses the goal line in college/amateur leagues. The intention is to keep a team under pressure at its own end of the ice from having an easy bailout.

The two-line pass rule exists only in professional leagues, and it is similar to the offside rule. It's essentially an anti-cherry picking rule.

Here's Zorn's repsonse to all the e-mails he's gotten. He lists the top nine disagreements with his views. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ericzorn/weblog/archives/2005/07/the_peloton_of.html#more

Well that was much better. You don't have to agree with him, but he's not unreasonable at least.

By the by, the poll was 70% in favor of no changes when I took it- obviously a lot of cyclists are paying attention to the 'controversy'.

In professional leagues, the opponents also have to touch the puck before icing is called;

Is it like that in other leagues besides the NHL? I haven't really watched pro hockey besides NHL and international tournaments. Internationals have the rule of blowing the whistle without touching, right?
*I haven't watched hockey in too long

Every year Zorn writes something like this and gets cyclists fired up and sending him letters. I imagine that next year unless there is some great American hope that steps up to replace Armstrong, he will not waste his time with the subject at all.

Is it like that in other leagues besides the NHL? I haven't really watched pro hockey besides NHL and international tournaments. Internationals have the rule of blowing the whistle without touching, right?
*I haven't watched hockey in too long

The only other pro league I've watched is the IHL, which used the touch rule. I don't think Olympic or International tournaments use it but I might be wrong. The rule adds extra potential for injury (two guys heading straight at a wall at 30 mph) but forces the players to work a little harder too (which they didn't do this year!)

Here's Zorn's repsonse to all the e-mails he's gotten. He lists the top nine disagreements with his views. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ericzorn/weblog/archives/2005/07/the_peloton_of.html#more

I guess, soon he'll have this thread linked to his web site. We should claim royalties ;)