Professional Cycling - Top Ten List: Lance is getting cocky

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cutters
07-23-05, 12:58 AM
David Letterman's, Top Ten Signs Lance Armstrong Is Getting Cocky

10. Goodbye Gatorade, hello Colt 45

9. For next two stages will be riding a unicycle

8. Is only giving 109%

7. Shouts, "Which one of you French bastards want my autograph?"

6. Yesterday rode twenty miles out of his way looking for *****s

5. Already put the yellow championship jersey for auction on eBay

4. Lets fans ride on the handlebars

3. During stage 18, took in the noon showing of "Wedding Crashers"

2. On alternate days, substitutes his fat brother Dennis Armstrong

1. Took detour to nail Jude Law's nanny

Cranks
07-23-05, 01:29 AM
11. Has switched sponsors and is now riding a Townie Cruiser.
12. Has told OLN they can start broadcasting the Survivor reruns on Saturday.
13. Is plotting out where all the Starbuck's locations are along the time trial route.
14. Has reduced PSI to 65 to get a softer ride.
15. Going to let Luke ride in a Burley trailer on the time trial.
spingineer
07-23-05, 06:06 PM
16. Will ride next year's tour on a Recumbent

TheKidd
07-23-05, 08:37 PM
17. Slowed to give Rasmussen a push before passing him.
skinnyone
07-23-05, 08:46 PM
18. Starts giving opponents a head start..
bunnyrabbit
07-23-05, 09:29 PM
19. Exchanges manager's radio for mp3 player.
20. Allows team car to grab on, so it can be pulled back to the peloton.
21. Only brings the yellow jerseys.
22. "F*** it. If you think some mercury will make my frame a little stiffer, go ahead and slap it in there."
skinnyone
07-23-05, 09:35 PM
22. "F*** it. If you think some mercury will make my frame a little stiffer, go ahead and slap it in there."
:lol:
23. Goes on a Low carb diet..
stevesurf
07-23-05, 09:36 PM
24. Moves to Aspen so he can still climb (smaller) mountains
spingineer
07-23-05, 11:26 PM
25. Rollerblades next year's tour
Monument Man
07-24-05, 12:26 AM
26. Is 'Lectric Smooth
27. Assures VICTORY OVER DE FEET

sorry but these TDF commercials are stuck in my head...
Gar Vanderosa
07-24-05, 11:34 AM
28. Actually claims to have taken part in other races on the calendar.
29. Swears his form of '99 to present has little to do with Bristol-Myers-Squibb.
30. Still thinks it was ok to bash Bassons for openly discussing doping in the peloton.
31. Plans to chase down Simeoni, refuse him entrance to his wife's vagina.