Professional Cycling - Rasmussen - King of the Malfunctions

So what do you think the "King of the Malfunctions" jersey should look like?

Mrs JavaMan suggested a blue jersey with only one sleeve? Other ideas?

I was thinking some body armour, esp after the way he went down hard today.

If it's just a jersey, how about a picture of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey?

I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.

I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.

Oh, come on! We all feel for the guy, no need to get defensive.

I like Kevlar body armor for the material. How about the design?

I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.



Hey, hoss, we're just having some good spirited fun! I mean no offense to the man from Denmark. Next year could be his...


Besides, I've had my fair share of crashes -> I bit it hard on a descent in Austin once. When I came to on the side of the road the most beautiful blonde woman I had ever set my eyes on was standing over me saying over and over again, "That looked like it hurt." It did, but even more so because she saw it. She offered to drive me to the hospital and like an idiot I refused. I rode home wincing in pain.

To this day my shoulder still hurts whenever the temp dips below 70 degrees F.


I also went down once in front of my parent's house at the end of the first ride with my new bike some 5 years ago, which was reminiscent of when, on my 10th birthday, I crashed on my first road bike - a four speed Flandria with a down tube shifter. Whenever my brothers and I get together and someone mentions the word bike, they have to tell the story of that birthday crash...


I've never ridden in anything more organized than the Ride for the Roses, so perhaps I shouldn't be talking smack - but like I said, it's in all good fun and I give mad salutations to anybody that even competes in Le Tour..........

Oh, come on! We all feel for the guy, no need to get defensive.

I like Kevlar body armor for the material. How about the design?


A jersey dotted with assortments of tools and broken bike parts, a couple flat tires, a square wheel rolling down the hill in front of a bike missing the wheel.

OK, it's a blue kevlar jersey with one sleeve missing, dotted with graphics of various malfunctions.

How does one accumulate points for the Blue Jersey?

Mechanical adjustment by team mechanic while bike is still moving - 1 point
Mechanical problem that stops the bike - 2 points
Flat tire or wheel change - 3 points
Bike change - 4 points

Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

Need something that represents being given a unsuitable, malfunctioning bike as a replacement.

Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:



Of course it goes without saying that the zipper is only cosmetic. It doesn't actually function!

;)

Of course it goes without saying that the zipper is only cosmetic. It doesn't actually function!

;)

Good point. Also, the cosmetic nonfunctional zipper should be stuck way down.

Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:



The early draft looks more like a crash than a malfunction (seperate jersey thread need for malady).
;)

Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:



The endover fall image is great, but I rather like the image of him doing a summersault into the ditch. His second of the day, that was a classic fall.

Good point. Also, the cosmetic nonfunctional zipper should be stuck way down.

Actually, it's very high tech. When the temperatures soar, the zipper closes up, when the temperature plummets or you need aerodynamic efficiency, it opens as wide as possible.

The early draft looks more like a crash than a malfunction (seperate jersey thread need for malady).
;)

Maybe this is more fitting?

That wheel isn't taco'ed enough. I want a REAL taco.

That wheel isn't taco'ed enough. I want a REAL taco.

Is that better?

Is that better?



Yep!

OMG, you guys are sick :rolleyes:

OK, it's a blue kevlar jersey with one sleeve missing, dotted with graphics of various malfunctions.

How does one accumulate points for the Blue Jersey?

Mechanical adjustment by team mechanic while bike is still moving - 1 point
Mechanical problem that stops the bike - 2 points
Flat tire or wheel change - 3 points
Bike change - 4 points

so how many pts would he have gotten on that time trial? at least 17? that definatly would of clinched the jersey for him.

The endover fall image is great, but I rather like the image of him doing a summersault into the ditch. His second of the day, that was a classic fall.

I thought when he had his left leg out before the fall was even funnier. Felt bad for him but it still was pretty funny.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=124851

I was on the Colnago site and in their "News" forum they were building up a head of steam with Tour reports on the early success of Rasmussen. Then there is just silence after the meltdown - not a word.


http://www.colnagonews.com/news/example2.php

All kidding aside. This poor guy won a stage, won the KOM, finished in the top 10 at the Tour and right now he seems to be most noted for his "meltdown."

well it was THE meltdown of all time. two crashes and 4 bike changes in a dry TT is pretty out of the ordinary. And don't hold a top 10 up there like it's champagne popping time...the guy should have been on the podium. That said, he rode a great race and considering he's a former ATB world champ the guy has got one hell of a motor.

That second crash... he just loooke aghast. I felt sick for the guy. But still... he is a great cyclist with a great attitude. I would have died myself if it had been me.

Koffee

I am consistently disappointed by the lack of funny photos in this thread. :/

the guy should have been on the podium.

That's a bit like saying Voeckler should have been on the podium in '04.

If this guy had any hopes of being on the podium, they certainly wouldn't have let him gain six minutes on the stage he won.

If your saying that he should have held on just because he was already in 3rd before the TT, then you're missing the point of what I'm saying. If you told Rasmussen at the beginning of the Tour that he would win a stage, win KOM AND get a top 10 finish, he'd have said "Sweet!"

Even if he hadn't melted down, he would not have been on the podium, he would have had to finish in the top 10 to hold his place.

Maybe this is more fitting?



Hey, thanks for the jersey design, Crack'n'fail! It's awesome. Thanks to everyone who contributed!

Next TdF I'll start a "King of the Malfunctions Points Competition" thread with daily updates on who has the Blue Jersey. Won't that be fun? With your permission, Crack'n'nfail, I'd like to your jersey design.

Rassies own people said he just "lost it" after the first fall. Remarking that he kept thinking his breaks were touching when they weren't. Choking of that magnitude looks awful on a pro in any sport. I mentioned the Colnago site and its news updates because I thought it looked bad the way the way they just went silent on him. There was no "Hey it was unfortunate but the guy still made a big impression" etc. Just silence after they had been building him and his Colnago up. The last update before the fall:

"Rasmussen Sitting Pretty On Tour's Second Rest Day

Rabobank's Great Dane Michael Rasmussen is sitting pretty on the Tour's second
Rest Day in Pau. Although he slipped slightly to Ivan Basso on GC, Rasmussen
is poised to ride his Colnago Extreme-C climbing bike onto the Tour De France
podium next Sunday. At the very least, Rasmussen will take the title as the Tour
De France's Best Climber and hopes to ride his Colnago C50 Crono next Saturday
for the best time trial of his life to hold off Jan Ullrich and keep his third place in the
Tour De France Final General Classification. "

Hey, thanks for the jersey design, Crack'n'fail! It's awesome. Thanks to everyone who contributed!

Next TdF I'll start a "King of the Malfunctions Points Competition" thread with daily updates on who has the Blue Jersey. Won't that be fun? With your permission, Crack'n'nfail, I'd like to your jersey design.

Please do.

Rassies own people said he just "lost it" after the first fall. Remarking that he kept thinking his breaks were touching when they weren't.

Ya, he kept getting off and spinning the rear wheel, which spun without obstruction it looked to me. I have no room to talk, my big arse going up hill I'm always hoping my slow speed is a brake rubbing. =)

At the Houston Rodeo, a rider who is having a good two week run can make a TON of money. But, some riders get hurt early on, and end up with nothing. So, the Rodeo shows the crowd video replays of the worst examples of a bull landing on a rider, and by crowd noise, a "hard luck" award winner is selected. The worse your luck, the better your chance of winning the award.

So, for the 2005 Tour, the "Hard Luck" winner has GOT to be Rasmussen...now where is his trophy?

At the Houston Rodeo, a rider who is having a good two week run can make a TON of money. But, some riders get hurt early on, and end up with nothing. So, the Rodeo shows the crowd video replays of the worst examples of a bull landing on a rider, and by crowd noise, a "hard luck" award winner is selected. The worse your luck, the better your chance of winning the award.

So, for the 2005 Tour, the "Hard Luck" winner has GOT to be Rasmussen...now where is his trophy?

Oh no, I'm not designing a trophy too.

;)

The entire jersey should be made of "elastoplast".

With all respect to Rasmussen and a great TDF, that time trial had to have been the single worst professional performance I've ever seen.

Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:



What happened to the blue jersey pics?