Foo - say you saw a pregnant lady smoking...

...do you say something? let it go? i saw a very pregnant lady smoking with her husband and their 2 year old last weekend. the 2 year old was the only one not smoking. my GF and i were tempted to say something, but eventually decided to take the easy route and mind our own business. she looked about 7 months.

edit - sorry for the spelling in the title. should be "pregnant".

It's called mind your own business.

I say screw minding my own business, the child has no voice YET and this is sad and wrong. I'm just alittle boastful when it comes down to this stuff.

if my mom had smoked when she was pregnant with me, i would have wanted someone to say something to her. seriously, what if you had ashma your whole life and you learned that it's because your mom wanted to smoke. or a birth defect. i'd be pissed.

normally i'm all about minding my own business, i live in NYC where you have to ignore 99% of all the crap that goes on if you want to keep your sanity. but this, i'm just not so sure....

Until recently this was the norm, and millions of kids have been unaffected by the practice.

If a pregnant lady is having a glass of wine with her dinner would you admonish her for jeopardizing the life of her unborn fetus?

Until they change the law, the lady has every right to smoke whether she is pregnant or not. You don't have to like it but it is her choice to make.

It's called mind your own business.

I agree. She has likely heard it a 1000 times and you bringing it up isn't going to do much but kick in defensiveness. I knew enough smoking moms to go through the routine, I promise you her friends are alreayd riding her a bit (unless she surrounds herself by dumb people).

Title fixed too :D

yeah, it is her choice, you're right. we did, afterall, not say anything - citing that very reason to ourselves at the end. but then again, she is out in public. and just as she has a right to smoke, i have a right to ask her if she would consider quitting for her kids sake. no harm no foul right? worst she could do is tell me off. and that'd be fine.

i liken it to a guy on the side of the road working on his broken down car. only he has a wicker basket holding the car up as he slides under. he has a right to do that, but shouldn't i say something? maybe just a "hey, i don't think that's safe"?

Title fixed too :D

thanks maelstrom.

I think the wicker basket analogy is slightly flawed, in that if the guy with the flat had a decent jack, he'd use it, right? In other words, he probably doesn't have a better choice. He has to fix the car. But the pregnant lady doesn't have to smoke, she has made a conscious choice. The best response you're likely to get if you tell her not to smoke is a "mind your own business."

I think its funny how you say mind your own business, well it is OUR business, who is footing the bill for all the people who have some disease from smoking?? WE ARE!!! Yes, saying something may not change anything for this lady but if it makes someone feel better by saying how they feel then go for it I say.

My grandmother is currently dying from smoking, she has only 10% of her lung capacity left, she calls me last Thursday to say she is dying. NICE HUH!!! We all pay a price and this unborn child has no voice or choice and it sucks. So if it offends others cause I say something, GET OVER IT. It offends my pocketbook too. :D

Ok, I'm done ranting.

I think its funny how you say mind your own business, well it is OUR business, who is footing the bill for all the people who have some disease from smoking?? WE ARE!!!

Thats a pretty weak argument. Taken to its logical conclusion, we should all be locked inside giant antiseptic bubbles to keep from hurting ourselves and/or others. If people want to smoke & drink & generally abuse themselves until they die, thats their business, not mine. And likewise, if I choose to do those things and you get all self righteous and in my face about it, don't be surprised and/or offended if I tell you what you can do with your opinion in a very graphic and profane fashion.

I would say "hey, preemies are always cute at 2 pounds!", and leave it at that.

Koffee

good rant snowy! if you lived in NY, i'd just send you in to do the talking next time i see it.

I'm just saying people are so afraid to speak up sometimes, I wasn't trying to start a flame war. I'm just alittle out spoken for my tiny pants.

Timmhaan, I'm there just show me the way!!!! :D

I saw it recently too, with a lady here at work. I also opted to mind my own business. As much as I hate it; it is her life and right. Plus, my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and I'm no worse for it.

just look at people like that as though they are disgusting. cus they are.

Thats a pretty weak argument. Taken to its logical conclusion, we should all be locked inside giant antiseptic bubbles to keep from hurting ourselves and/or others. If people want to smoke & drink & generally abuse themselves until they die, thats their business, not mine. And likewise, if I choose to do those things and you get all self righteous and in my face about it, don't be surprised and/or offended if I tell you what you can do with your opinion in a very graphic and profane fashion.

would saying something to her be considered self righteous? i remember a while ago i got in a verbal fight with a mother after she hit her little kid in the head. he wasn't doing anything most little kids don't do, but she lost her temper and slamed her palm across the back of his head really hard. i wanted to let her know you can't treat kids like that. was that being self righteous, or doing the "right" thing?

these things are all grey areas i guess.

Heh, I'd ask her if I could bum a smoke... It would be one less that the kid gets. :)

Heh, I'd ask her if I could bum a smoke... It would be one less that the kid gets. :)

that's actually a good idea. i could smoke it then cough really loudly and say "whew! i haven't smoked in a while, i feel like a new born having his first smoke again."

Cool! I like that.

Very Nice!!!

would saying something to her be considered self righteous? i remember a while ago i got in a verbal fight with a mother after she hit her little kid in the head. he wasn't doing anything most little kids don't do, but she lost her temper and slamed her palm across the back of his head really hard. i wanted to let her know you can't treat kids like that. was that being self righteous, or doing the "right" thing?

these things are all grey areas i guess.

All these things are grey areas. And I didn't include in my rant that I, too, feel nothing but contempt for pregnant smokers. Its just something about the whole 'We're all paying for this' argument that gets my dander up. Its called 'Life, Liberty & the pursuit of Happiness' not 'lowest cost per capita.'

Thats a pretty weak argument. Taken to its logical conclusion, we should all be locked inside giant antiseptic bubbles to keep from hurting ourselves and/or others. If people want to smoke & drink & generally abuse themselves until they die, thats their business, not mine. And likewise, if I choose to do those things and you get all self righteous and in my face about it, don't be surprised and/or offended if I tell you what you can do with your opinion in a very graphic and profane fashion.
graphic and profane?

And there is a huge difference between intelligent, calculated risks (eg. cycling) and intentionally harming oneself. But we're not talking about harming oneself, are we?


...and this unborn child has no voice or choice and it sucks.
Isn't that the whole point of this thread? Not some idiot who's smoking, but some idiot who's causing serious damage to a baby they supposedly want. (We should avoid the abortion debate).


Would anyone bother yelling at a crackhead who's lighting up down an alley? Probably not. What if she was obviously pregnant?

Would anyone yell at a woman alpine skiing down a mountain at 50mph on the first run of the day when no one's out yet? Nope. What if she was pregnant?

All these things are grey areas. And I didn't include in my rant that I, too, feel nothing but contempt for pregnant smokers. Its just something about the whole 'We're all paying for this' argument that gets my dander up. Its called 'Life, Liberty & the pursuit of Happiness' not 'lowest cost per capita.'

i gotcha. i feel that way reading about all the companies cutting health care benefits. i understand the reasons, but there is something very off putting about affecting people's health care based on profit\loss margins. somethings are just more important than the bottom line, i guess.

Isn't that the whole point of this thread? Not some idiot who's smoking, but some idiot who's causing serious damage to a baby they supposedly want. (We should avoid the abortion debate).

Would anyone bother yelling at a crackhead who's lighting up down an alley? Probably not. What if she was obviously pregnant?

Would anyone yell at a woman alpine skiing down a mountain at 50mph on the first run of the day when no one's out yet? Nope. What if she was pregnant?


Maybe I'm too cynical. But my perception is that the people that do such things (potentially harming unborn child) tend to know exactly what they're doing and confronting them on the subject is unlikely to 1) stop their behavior or b) result in a pleasant conversation. My guess is that the 'husband' of said pregnant smoker in the root post might have an opinion to share on the subject too, an opinion that could include violence as well as graphic and profane words.

Maybe I'm too cynical. But my perception is that the people that do such things (potentially harming unborn child) tend to know exactly what they're doing and confronting them on the subject is unlikely to 1) stop their behavior or b) result in a pleasant conversation. My guess is that the 'husband' of said pregnant smoker in the root post might have an opinion to share on the subject too, an opinion that could include violence as well as graphic and profane words.
It takes a village :)

At one point, saying anything to smokers was frowned upon, now it's relatively accepted. Someday, saying something to a super fat family at McDonalds will be accepted too.

If nothing else, it clears the conscience of the person doing the ranting and since they're yelling at someone who's screwing up someone else's life, I say more power to them and maybe, just maybe, the message will sink in the 400th time?


EDIT: Yeah, i saw "Super Size Me" recently :eek:

I think its funny how you say mind your own business, well it is OUR business, who is footing the bill for all the people who have some disease from smoking?? WE ARE!!! Yes, saying something may not change anything for this lady but if it makes someone feel better by saying how they feel then go for it I say.

My grandmother is currently dying from smoking, she has only 10% of her lung capacity left, she calls me last Thursday to say she is dying. NICE HUH!!! We all pay a price and this unborn child has no voice or choice and it sucks. So if it offends others cause I say something, GET OVER IT. It offends my pocketbook too. :D

Ok, I'm done ranting.

Believe me, your paying for things that are a lot worse.

Yea, I know but I just want to say how I felt and I feel much better. THANKS!!

Until recently this was the norm, and millions of kids have been unaffected by the practice.

Plenty of people were affected (raises hand), that's why we now know it's a dumb thing to do. Yeah, people do get away with doing stupid stuff all the time, but that doesn't mean it's not stupid. If somebody knowingly wants to risk their own health, fine. If they are putting somebody else (who has no choice in the matter) at risk in the process though, it's wrong, no matter if there is a law against it or not.

Now that I have reached the age that I am, I NO longer feel I have to be politically correct. If I see something that Isn't right to be I let lose(loose) with a rebuke, recipient can like it or not I couldn't care less.
3 xamples...... I walked into a restaurant this AM with a bud for breakfast hostess was talking on a cell, led us to the table and seated us while still talking, brought placemats and sliver on second pass still talking, I over talked her and said I wanted to see the mgr NOW, he came over and I told him about the cell phone thing he apologized, big deal, bud and I looked over menu placed order then decided to leave, told the mgr why and said to him he was a pathetic mgr if he couldn't control help

Later was at a Barnes & Noble book store when a clod put his feet on the table across from me, I got up located the floor mgr and asked her to tell the idiot to remove his dirty shoes from the table, she did, he did, and I said 'Thank you, "

A while ago was in a supermarket checkout line, behind a women with a kid 7-8 yrs old brandishing an toy weapon, I told the brat to point said weapon elsewhere and he stuck his tongue out at me. Then I said out loud to the mother, "IF your child continues to point that weapon at me I'll shove it up someones rectum". People behind me laffed, parent grabbed child, threw weapon in shopping cart an pushed the brat way up front of her, so since I was on a roll, I said, "so easy to train my dog and he doesn't speak English".

I used to wait tables, and once had a pregnant customer who ordered 4 glasses of wine during her dinner.
I felt bad filling her glass, and I told the manager that I was concerned, and felt uncomfortable, but other
than the policy of a 4 drink limit, there was nothing I could, or would do.

I'm not so bold as to tell somebody out in public that I felt their behavior was dangerous to the health of
their child, regardless of how I felt personally. It's really not my place to do so. Also, being a North Carolina
native, it feels like an anathema to critique tobacco use in anyone. I say live and let die.

I used to wait tables, and once had a pregnant customer who ordered 4 glasses of wine during her dinner.
I felt bad filling her glass, and I told the manager that I was concerned, and felt uncomfortable, but other
than the policy of a 4 drink limit, there was nothing I could, or would do.

I'm not so bold as to tell somebody out in public that I felt their behavior was dangerous to the health of
their child, regardless of how I felt personally. It's really not my place to do so. Also, being a North Carolina
native, it feels like an anathema to critique tobacco use in anyone. I say live and let die.


When I was pregnant, my doctor told me I could have a few glasses of wine. He said doctors tell you not to drink, because you could get drunk and fall down and that could hurt the baby.

I've also been told a beer a day is good for nursing mothers.


I smoked very little when I was pregnant, it made me so sick. But I still had about 5 cigarettes a day.

Had anybody gotten in my face about it, I simply would have told them to F*ck Off and then blow smoke in their face.
With the hormone thing going on and nicotine withdrawl. It would not be pretty.

A while ago was in a supermarket checkout line, behind a women with a kid 7-8 yrs old brandishing an toy weapon, I told the brat to point said weapon elsewhere and he stuck his tongue out at me. Then I said out loud to the mother, "IF your child continues to point that weapon at me I'll shove it up someones rectum". People behind me laffed, parent grabbed child, threw weapon in shopping cart an pushed the brat way up front of her, so since I was on a roll, I said, "so easy to train my dog and he doesn't speak English".
Kind of harsh, don't you think? :rolleyes: He was a young child pointing a toy weapon who happened to stick his tongue at you. It's one thing to eschew political correctness, I do it all the time. But the way you treated that child and poor mother really seems to cross the line into jackassery.

Had anybody gotten in my face about it, I simply would have told them to F*ck Off and then blow smoke in their face. With the hormone thing going on and nicotine withdrawl. It would not be pretty.

"...no fury like a woman scorn.... til you meet the pregnant lady you really pissed off." -some guy to me after getting yelled at by a pregnant woman for accidentally bumping into her.

Eh... my mom smoked while pregnant with me and my oldest sister. We both turned out a lil shorter than my other sister (who she didn't smoke with, and fed breast milk :(). Even had a few friends that smoked through their pregnancy (not nearly as much as they used to). Even had a friend that did smoke, got pregz and tried to smoke, and threw up. She couldn't smoke for the duration of her pregnancy.

I don't really have a stand here, although I believe in voicing discouragement of smoking whilst pregz.

I wouldn't say anything to them. It's their right, and their choice, and like others have said, they are well aware of what they are doing. Trying to tell them they are doing the wrong thing will probably just piss them off and the whole purpose will be defeated.

Kind of harsh, don't you think? :rolleyes: He was a young child pointing a toy weapon who happened to stick his tongue at you. It's one thing to eschew political correctness, I do it all the time. But the way you treated that child and poor mother really seems to cross the line into jackassery.
LOL yea and its verbal assault to boot, Class B misdemeanor

It takes a village :)

At one point, saying anything to smokers was frowned upon, now it's relatively accepted. Someday, saying something to a super fat family at McDonalds will be accepted too.

If nothing else, it clears the conscience of the person doing the ranting and since they're yelling at someone who's screwing up someone else's life, I say more power to them and maybe, just maybe, the message will sink in the 400th time?


EDIT: Yeah, i saw "Super Size Me" recently :eek:


what about the super fat and grungy family @ BK ?

...as ugly as life appears, your bike will never let you down. And when the day's over you can watch the 10 o'clock news cringinging, realizing you made it safely through another day.

there is my SS, smoke up

Now that I have reached the age that I am, I NO longer feel I have to be politically correct. If I see something that Isn't right to be I let lose(loose) with a rebuke, recipient can like it or not I couldn't care less.
3 xamples...... I walked into a restaurant this AM with a bud for breakfast hostess was talking on a cell, led us to the table and seated us while still talking, brought placemats and sliver on second pass still talking, I over talked her and said I wanted to see the mgr NOW, he came over and I told him about the cell phone thing he apologized, big deal, bud and I looked over menu placed order then decided to leave, told the mgr why and said to him he was a pathetic mgr if he couldn't control help

Later was at a Barnes & Noble book store when a clod put his feet on the table across from me, I got up located the floor mgr and asked her to tell the idiot to remove his dirty shoes from the table, she did, he did, and I said 'Thank you, "

A while ago was in a supermarket checkout line, behind a women with a kid 7-8 yrs old brandishing an toy weapon, I told the brat to point said weapon elsewhere and he stuck his tongue out at me. Then I said out loud to the mother, "IF your child continues to point that weapon at me I'll shove it up someones rectum". People behind me laffed, parent grabbed child, threw weapon in shopping cart an pushed the brat way up front of her, so since I was on a roll, I said, "so easy to train my dog and he doesn't speak English".
1. You think people at these kinds of job care...they make 6 dollars an hour, what's it matter to them if you are pissy or not.
2. You don't like his shoes, boohoo. If it's not directly affectin you what's it matter?
3. Dude...it's a kid...with a toy gun

in ending I believe you have no life. The end.

ke422azn22's Mom smoked when she was carrying him.

Nuff said :lol:

Good thread!

I'm amazed how self righteous and inconsiderate some people are. So the woman is smoking, sheesh, it's not like she's walking into an abortion clinic. Oh wait, that's OK.

You know, there are people out there that would take great offense at some of the self righteous acts talked about here and end up getting knocked on their butt. How many dads would stand there and let some idiot insult his wife and child without doing something about it? On the internet you can say pretty much anything you want without risk but in real life it's a little more complicated.

Good thread!

I'm amazed how self righteous and inconsiderate some people are. So the woman is smoking, sheesh, it's not like she's walking into an abortion clinic. Oh wait, that's OK.

You know, there are people out there that would take great offense at some of the self righteous acts talked about here and end up getting knocked on their butt. How many dads would stand there and let some idiot insult his wife and child without doing something about it? On the internet you can say pretty much anything you want without risk but in real life it's a little more complicated.
Not only that but for all you know that mother may have cut back from a pack a day to one or two a day...it's not perfect, but it's alot better than a pack...*

I'd leave her alone, as she already knows, and I'm sure nothing is going to change that.

However if she is protesting something "for the children", or even using an agrument about the children, she's getting enough to fill the ears of an entire continent.

basically my take on it: Morons will be morons, but I have no room for hypocrasy.

Whenever I pass someone smoking a bit too close to a building or something else equally offensive I throw in a few extra loud coughs. I could probably get by with clearing my throat, but I try to add a non-offensive commentary on their habit.

I am waiting for the lawyers to line up the kids of such parents and sue the hell out of them hey maybe a useful job for a lawyer for once (G)
it is only a matter of time before it will be illegal to smoke around children. it's sad that something like that has to happen but it's even sadder that it does happen. how can you be a good parent when you choose to rick your childs life and or health for a pathetic habbet?

I actually saw some guy wearing a Livestrong bracelet, smoking a cigarette!

Once I was at the hospital getting an ultrasound (not for pregnancy) and of course there are lots of pregnant women there.THere was this one woman with her boyfriend or husband. SHe had to be at least six months. She asks her boyfriend for a cigarette so she can go outside and have a smoke! Ironic, she has to go outside because it's a hospital, but the poor kid has no choice- he gets secondhand smoke internally! Of course I was appalled, but what can I do? They looked like scuzzbags- bikers or something. Pretty sad actually.

Good thread!

I'm amazed how self righteous and inconsiderate some people are. So the woman is smoking, sheesh, it's not like she's walking into an abortion clinic. Oh wait, that's OK.

You know, there are people out there that would take great offense at some of the self righteous acts talked about here and end up getting knocked on their butt. How many dads would stand there and let some idiot insult his wife and child without doing something about it? On the internet you can say pretty much anything you want without risk but in real life it's a little more complicated.

Yeah, well that's the internet. Ranting from the safe anonymity of your IP. If the dad really cares about his kid, though, hopefully he would also be encouraging his wife to quit and reduce the risk of stillbirth, unhealthily low birthweight, SIDS, and whatever the other risks are.

On a related note, I thought about this thread today when I saw a woman at Fred Meyers who definitely looked pregnant grabbing a six-pack of Schirmnoff. Hmmm, FAS?