I'll just say "I told you so" on the forum, instead.

[konageezer]

A coworker—a "recreational" cyclist—has often razzed me about my bike-geeky appearance rolling in to work. He's particularly enjoyed commenting on my helmet ("I had one when I was TEN!" "Shouldn't you have a Spongebob sticker on there?" etc.)
Last Friday he was riding on the local bike route, was cut off and went over the hood of a car onto the road. He was back in the office yesterday with 30 stitches in his forehead. My only comment was something like, "That looks sore," but I had to summon up my will to keep from doing the "You should have listened to me" dance.

I'm not posting this to open up the helmet debate again. I guess it's just that, being married, I don't get to be right very often.

[timmhaan]

well, just save it for if he does make fun of you for wearing a helmet again. something tells me he won't. but if he does, you'll have full freedom to rip into him.

[HWS]

:beer:

[Cromulent]

Buy him a helmet. Place it on his desk with a little bow on it and a little card that reads, "This was probably cheaper then your thirty stiches. Heal well."

[zac]

Buy him a helmet. Place it on his desk with a little bow on it and a little card that reads, "This was probably cheaper then your thirty stiches. Heal well."

Precisely! Take the high road. All is forgiven and you will have a friend for life.

Peace
Zac

[Cromulent]

Oops. It would be good if you spelled stitches right, unlike I just did.

[wrench_meister]

And don't forget to put a Spongebob Squarepants sticker on the helmet!

;)

[Cromulent]

Precisely! Take the high road. All is forgiven and you will have a friend for life.

Peace
Zac



Hmm... I wasn't thinking of the high road. I was thinking of it as a dig disguised as the high road. Spongebob Squarepants stickers are optional. :p

[noisebeam]

You know what is strange to me is that I see/read these helmet debates and comments on online forums like this, but in the real world have never once had anyone negatively comment on a helmet or have gotten the impresssion they are 'geeky' or that others think they are, etc. They seem to be very well accepted in the real world I live in. Maybe in elementary school with kids who are not secure they get noticed, but not in any adult world I've ever lived in.

Al

[emilymildew]

I'm not posting this to open up the helmet debate again. I guess it's just that, being married, I don't get to be right very often.

What does that even MEAN?

[Cromulent]

Konageezer, it looks like you've opened up an entirely different debate. Heh.

[Cadd]

What does that even MEAN?
You don't understand, you're a woman. I recently got married and I know exactly what that MEANS. :D

[emilymildew]

You don't understand, you're a woman. I recently got married and I know exactly what that MEANS. :D

That smiley face doesn't mean that what you said isn't rude and offensive.

[BraveSpear]

That smiley face doesn't mean that what you said isn't rude and offensive.

The truth hurts. :rolleyes:

[Stubacca]

You don't understand, you're a woman. I recently got married and I know exactly what that MEANS. :D
If a man says something in a forest, and nobody is there to hear him, is he still wrong? ;)

[Paul L.]

You know what is strange to me is that I see/read these helmet debates and comments on online forums like this, but in the real world have never once had anyone negatively comment on a helmet or have gotten the impresssion they are 'geeky' or that others think they are, etc. They seem to be very well accepted in the real world I live in. Maybe in elementary school with kids who are not secure they get noticed, but not in any adult world I've ever lived in.

Al


I get neighborhood adults thanking me for setting a good example for the kids even.

[Cadd]

That smiley face doesn't mean that what you said isn't rude and offensive.
Oh well, grow a thicker layer of skin. It'll help you in life and in cycling. I didn't find what I said offensive. I don't find what konageezer said was offensive either. If you have a problem with what I post, put me on your IGNORE list.

Some people just love to start a confrontation on forums...I'm not going to argue with you anymore. Arguing over the internet is just like the Special Olympics....even if you win, you're still a retard.

[Metieval]

ummmmm

you don't even need to be married to be wrong with them . LOL

[recursive]

You need to get him one of these:

http://image.eshop.msn.ca/img/sinv/24/0/0993054P.jpg

[BraveSpear]

Oh well, grow a thicker layer of skin. It'll help you in life and in cycling. I didn't find what I said offensive. I don't find what konageezer said was offensive either. If you have a problem with what I post, put me on your IGNORE list.

Some people just love to start a confrontation on forums...I'm not going to argue with you anymore. Arguing over the internet is just like the Special Olympics....even if you win, you're still a retard.


You mean like this?

[Aahzz]

That smiley face doesn't mean that what you said isn't rude and offensive.

http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C228362.html

Look at the above, a poor sense of humor may be a system of more serious disorders - seek help now!! :D :p

[konageezer]

…in the real world have never once had anyone negatively comment on a helmet or have gotten the impresssion they are 'geeky' or that others think they are…
Yeah, to be fair, it was me who started the whole helmet thing by ragging him for riding without one in the first place. If I had never brought it up, I doubt he would have. His razzing was always good-natured enough.

[Cadd]

I also agree. Sometimes I ride with friends who ride "once in a while" (huffing & puffing after 5 miles). They never make fun of me and my helmet. They always seem to say "I should really start wearing my helmet". Our last time out, he actually went back and searched for it in his basement. He found it :)

I never tell people to put on a helmet. I mean, you're a grown adult, you should be making those decisions, not me.

[Treespeed]

And don't forget to put a Spongebob Squarepants sticker on the helmet!

;)

That would be perfect.

[Aahzz]

Yeah, to be fair, it was me who started the whole helmet thing by ragging him for riding without one in the first place. If I had never brought it up, I doubt he would have. His razzing was always good-natured enough.

Starting it doesn't make you any less right. :)

[Mike_Like_Bike]

Cheaper than a helmet...

http://www.bandaid.com/images/12_kids/4473_spongebob.jpg

Glad your friend is okay!

[Treespeed]

That smiley face doesn't mean that what you said isn't rude and offensive.

Notice she doesn't say that we're wrong, just that she doesn't like it.

[MarkS]

"Close-minded about wearing a helmet? Sooner or later, it'll open up"

[webist]

I wear a helmet. Others don't. That's OK with me.

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Notice she doesn't say that we're wrong, just that she doesn't like it.
Hardly the first to play the "rude and offensive" card about disliked views/opinions. Others play/whine the "race card", the "politeness card," or the "Real/Serious/True Bicyclist card", or the "personal attack card" or one of the 52 methods in the deck to to protect cherished beliefs (no matter how wacky) from scrutiny and/or scorn. Typically the whining indicates an inability to counter legitimate criticism in a rational manner.

In this specific instance though I believe a serious lack of a sense humor prompted the response, not an effort to stifle discussion.

[JohnBrooking]

I never tell people to put on a helmet. I mean, you're a grown adult, you should be making those decisions, not me.
This is an interesting point, because I realized recently that although I frequently inform people riding the wrong way that they are riding the wrong way, I don't feel as compelled to similarly correct people I see not wearing a helmet. I seem to be more willing to grant grown-up decision-maker status to the helmetless than to the wrong-way riders.

I'm not quite sure why that is. Possibly because the choice to wear a helmet seems more obvious than which side the street to ride on, even to newbies, so saying something about it would seem more insulting to their intelligence. I tend to think about people riding the wrong way as actively misguided, either by their own thinking or the bad advice of others, so I feel more compelled to correct that. Whatever misunderstanding there is about helmet-wearing is on the side of putting too much faith in them, not too little, so if people are not wearing a helmet, I'm not as likely to put it down to lack of information.

Also, riding on the wrong side is increasing their chance of getting in an accident in the first place, whereas a helmet only comes into play once an accident has happened. So maybe I feel slightly more urgency about preventing the person from getting into an accident at all, than about what could happen if they do and they aren't wearing a helmet.

[Cadd]

John, I'll tell you exactly what it is. I can't stand it when kids/adults come down the wrong side of the street (playing chicken with me). And I always almost merge to my left (further into the road....risk getting sideswiped) and they move to THEIR left (closer to safety....next to the parked car).

I guess you're pissed off about riding the wrong way in the same manner as I am. I'm assuming you're informing them that they're riding the wrong way because they're actually putting YOU (and everyone else riding correctly) in danger. Whereas, without a helmet, their stupidity can only hurt themselves.

[recursive]

John, I'll tell you exactly what it is. I can't stand it when kids/adults come down the wrong side of the street (playing chicken with me). And I always almost merge to my left (further into the road....risk getting sideswiped) and they move to THEIR left (closer to safety....next to the parked car).

I guess you're pissed off about riding the wrong way in the same manner as I am. I'm assuming you're informing them that they're riding the wrong way because they're actually putting YOU (and everyone else riding correctly) in danger. Whereas, without a helmet, their stupidity can only hurt themselves.

Exactly. Wrong way riders directly effect you. They expect you to move to the next lane or make room when they are the ones not following the rule.

I usually yell something at the wrong way riders that get in my way.

[emilymildew]

In this specific instance though I believe a serious lack of a sense humor prompted the response, not an effort to stifle discussion.

A lack of a sense of humor? Because I don't think jokes along the lines of "the ol' ball and chain is keeping me down" are funny?

The reason I don't think they're funny isn't because I don't have a sense of humor, it's because there are enough people in the world who actually do think that men who are married have been "trapped", who actually do believe that men get screwed by getting married, that women who have sex before marriage won't ever get a man to marry them, all those things that are utter crap but that people actually believe.

Those are things that reflect poorly on men as well as women, and I think it's pretty stupid to continue to perpetuate them. That's all.

And I'd like to thank you guys for not responding that I must be a lesbian or a man-hater. I like men, and I think that saying stuff like this reflects just as poorly on you as it does on the women you are trying to joke about.

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Athough I frequently inform people riding the wrong way that they are riding the wrong way, I don't feel as compelled to similarly correct people I see not wearing a helmet. I seem to be more willing to grant grown-up decision-maker status to the helmetless than to the wrong-way riders.

I'm not quite sure why that is.
One reason is that cycling without a helmet is legal. Another is that their lawful behavior is no threat to you. Maybe your inner good sense is telling you that you have no business "correcting" people who are not in violation of any law or rule but only your own personal beliefs.

[Cromulent]

I like men, and I think that saying stuff like this reflects just as poorly on you as it does on the women you are trying to joke about.


I don't think that the OP was saying that 'the old ball and chain was keeping him down.' I think it was a much more gentle joke than that. And when we make these comments... okay I guess I can only speak for myself here, I am making fun of myself, not my wife. The difference may not be obvious to whatever audience may be around, but there is a difference. I love and respect my wife. And I think she's a lot smarter than I am. And as we discuss things, I notice 98-99 percent of the time she is right. It's not that I am wrong 99 percent of the time, I am just less right than she is.

There is, or rather was, a couple in England who had been married for something like eighty years. You could see (they showed them on the national news) that they were a loving team through and through. The husband said that the secret to a happy marriage was two words, "Yes, dear." It was not a callous joke. It was sweet, actually.

I only hope my wife and I can have eighty years together. Even that would be too short of a time. Jeez, I should be tellin' her this stuff... not random people on the internet.

[Treespeed]

A lack of a sense of humor? Because I don't think jokes along the lines of "the ol' ball and chain is keeping me down" are funny?

The reason I don't think they're funny isn't because I don't have a sense of humor, it's because there are enough people in the world who actually do think that men who are married have been "trapped", who actually do believe that men get screwed by getting married, that women who have sex before marriage won't ever get a man to marry them, all those things that are utter crap but that people actually believe.

Those are things that reflect poorly on men as well as women, and I think it's pretty stupid to continue to perpetuate them. That's all.

And I'd like to thank you guys for not responding that I must be a lesbian or a man-hater. I like men, and I think that saying stuff like this reflects just as poorly on you as it does on the women you are trying to joke about.

I'm going to try and phrase this in the nicest way possible, but it sounds like you are reading way too much into what is obviously a good natured joke about the humorous trials and tribulations of married life. Your entire second paragraph rant has nothing to do with the original joke. It's not a man/woman thing, I have plenty of gay and lesbian couples as friends who make the same jokes. Coupledom is about compromise and a good sense of humor makes any relationship a lot more bearable as the years go on.

I know in my relationship I am allowed to be right, but my wife is never wrong, maybe mistaken, but never wrong. Things have been so much easier in my life since I accepted this fact.

[I-Like-To-Bike]

< A Lot of Stuff about> all those things that are utter crap but that people actually believe. <But Nobody here wrote about>.

Those are things that reflect poorly on men as well as women, and I think it's pretty stupid to continue to perpetuate them. That's all.

And I'd like to thank you guys for not responding that I must be a lesbian or a man-hater. I like men, and I think that saying stuff like this reflects just as poorly on you as it does on the women you are trying to joke about.
Yeow! Emily certainly doesn't want to stifle discussion. She has started a whole new thread about her preferences. Nobody asked but you certainly seem to be telling.

[Treespeed]

I don't think that the OP was saying that 'the old ball and chain was keeping him down.' I think it was a much more gentle joke than that. And when we make these comments... okay I guess I can only speak for myself here, I am making fun of myself, not my wife. The difference may not be obvious to whatever audience may be around, but there is a difference. I love and respect my wife. And I think she's a lot smarter than I am. And as we discuss things, I notice 98-99 percent of the time she is right. It's not that I am wrong 99 percent of the time, I am just less right than she is.

There is, or rather was, a couple in England who had been married for something like eighty years. You could see (they showed them on the national news) that they were a loving team through and through. The husband said that the secret to a happy marriage was two words, "Yes, dear." It was not a callous joke. It was sweet, actually.

I only hope my wife and I can have eighty years together. Even that would be too short of a time. Jeez, I should be tellin' her this stuff... not random people on the internet.

Yeah, what he said.

[konageezer]

Same sentiments here. This is especially true with things like manners, clothes, cooking; areas of my life that lacked a little finesse. I never realized that I was fashion-challenged until I got married. I see it now, but then I figured all was fair. I do mean it all very lovingly. My marriage was the making of me.

We were watching something on TV that had some passing reference to "the nagging wife." My spouse became rather pensive for a minute, and asked "Do I nag you?" My instantaneous reply: "No, Honey. You don't have to. I do everything the first time I'm told."

[lilHinault]

Back to the subject....

Get the guy a gift certificate for a local bike shop, so he can get his own helmet, since some people like the way Bells fit, some like Gyros, etc.

[JohnBrooking]

I guess you're pissed off about riding the wrong way in the same manner as I am. I'm assuming you're informing them that they're riding the wrong way because they're actually putting YOU (and everyone else riding correctly) in danger. Whereas, without a helmet, their stupidity can only hurt themselves.
Well, yeah, I guess that was so obvious I didn't think of it. Yet, I don't think it's mainly that either. Last January we had the first local cycling fatality since I started riding (3 years), and it bothered me a lot, because this guy was, you guessed it, riding the wrong way. He was rather down on his luck, living by himself in a semi-homeless transitional situation, saving his money to send to his kids in another state. He went through a very busy intersection riding against traffic. I felt really bad that he probably thought that he was doing the right thing when in fact he was doing exactly the wrong thing, and died because of it. I decided to try to do what I could to prevent it happening to others, and so I think that's part of what still drives me.

[JohnBrooking]

One reason is that cycling without a helmet is legal. Another is that their lawful behavior is no threat to you. Maybe your inner good sense is telling you that you have no business "correcting" people who are not in violation of any law or rule but only your own personal beliefs.
Yes, I think that's part of it, too.

[Dchiefransom]

A helmet would have prevented stitches to his forehead? Were they really high up, near his hairline, or where his hair used to be?

[Raiyn]

I'm going to try and phrase this in the nicest way possible, but it sounds like you are reading way too much into what is obviously a good natured joke about the humorous trials and tribulations of married life. Your entire second paragraph rant has nothing to do with the original joke. It's not a man/woman thing, I have plenty of gay and lesbian couples as friends who make the same jokes. Coupledom is about compromise and a good sense of humor makes any relationship a lot more bearable as the years go on.

I know in my relationship I am allowed to be right, but my wife is never wrong, maybe mistaken, but never wrong. Things have been so much easier in my life since I accepted this fact.
Exactly. Anyone who would say differently has never been in a healthy long term relationship

[Daily Commute]

Geeeez. I agree with the folks who say "get a sense of humor." So one said women were stupid. No one said they were evil. Someone just told a joke that was mostly self-depracating. A sense of humor is part of what makes a marriage work. I doubt very much that his wife would have been offended.

And I love the idea of buying the coworker a helmet with a Sponge Bob sticker. It takes the high road. It's generous. And it has a sense of humor. Just use the band-aid idea so he can remove it before riding (he might be too embarrassed to ride with a children's sticker on his helmet).