Jokes & Humor - Airline Maintenance

After every flight, Qantas (Australian) pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.


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(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

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P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

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P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

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P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

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P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

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P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

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P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

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P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

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P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

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Hahaha.

This is a good list...Wonder how long the average Australian aircraft mechanic keeps his job?

By the way, it's QANTAS (no "u").

Who knows what it stands for?

By the way, it's QANTAS (no "u").

Wonder how long the average Australian aircraft mechanic keeps his job?

I thought that looked odd.

It seems that Qantas has had only one accident and no fatalities. It was a landing in Bangkok. Must be where the "auto land is rough" complaint came from. With a record like that, I doubt the mechanics worry much about their jobs. Least ways not for tugging on the pilots' wings. :-}

Hahaha.

This is a good list...Wonder how long the average Australian aircraft mechanic keeps his job?

By the way, it's QANTAS (no "u").

Who knows what it stands for?
Qantas stands for Queensland and Northern Territory air sevice.

well its basically their national airline, should call it AAS - Aussie Air Service

Quantas stands for Queensland and Northern Territory air sevice.

Right.

I should have made Australians ineligible for this trivia quiz. :rolleyes:

But you DID spell QANTAS wrong, so you win nothing!

Why would QANTAS planes have "target radar"?

Why would QANTAS planes have "target radar"?
Because this list has been circulating well-nigh forever, and before someone added the "QANTAS" blurb to the top, it was said to be a list of "Squawks" from military pilots to their mechanics.

Regardless of whether or where these reports ever happened, they're still funny as hell. ;-)

that joke sucks

Right.

I should have made Australians ineligible for this trivia quiz. :rolleyes:

But you DID spell QANTAS wrong, so you win nothing!
Yer right :o

The Real Answer: Go To Any Search Engine And Type In Qantas, Go To Their Website And Read Their History. It Is A Very Interesting Company Read. During Ww1 They Flew Uboats, Fighters, Bombers, Etc -military Fighting Crafts, For All The Airline Specific People- Any Of These, Radar/iff Would I Assume Be From A Repair Ticket From A Wartime Craft. We Seem To Forget Those Have To Be Serviced Too.

They flew Uboats? Aren't those supposed to go on/under water?

DELTA...Don't Ever Leave The Airport :rolleyes:
(A United States airline)

S A H S A Stay at home stay alive
Honduran airline