General Cycling Discussion - Yes, Pete Clark is Really a Cyclist!

Yes, I am a cyclist. No, I do not belong to a club (but I wouldn't mind it, if I didn't have to do so much laundry on saturdays to wash all my sweaty garments). And like Chris L., I only have one (operational) bike. But what makes me a cyclist?

I think it could be any one of the following things:

1) I ride a bike (of course).

(the rest of these reasons are optional)

2) I sometimes look up to the upper left-hand corner of my glasses while I'm walking, to check behind me.

3) I have cheered weary shoppers at the Kroger supermarket with a bright, blinking red light attached to my person.

4) I am sometimes late to work, my only REAL excuse being I wanted to cycle in.

5) I have felt the joy of giving joggers a near fatal heart attack.

6) I now do not automatically speak kindly to dogs.

7) I consider everyone else who cycles a potential friend.

I know that there are probably 1,001 ways to identify a cyclist from the crowd. These are only a few off the top of my head.

:)

Ok, you convinced me... Now, do i dare ask you to list the other 994 ways to identify a cyclist from the crowd.

I can name a few...

8) On your shopping list, you have a Good Fuel / Bad Fuel category

9) You would rather eat your bannana through a pin poked hole then take the peel off.

10) When driving you find yourself looking for a water bottle under the seat every 5 min.

and the Number 11
11. would be reading a bike magazine while riding the subway..(which I do!)

12. Bugs in your teeth.

13. That happy, invigorated endorphin attitude.

:D

I dunno about you guys but my hair usually has the shape of a helmet inprinted in it.

No. 15, Tan line on the arms and thighs,when you wearing a short

16. I've got to eat something...again.

17. When I talk to my boss, I sit down, stretch my legs way out, lean back and say, "AAAaaahhhh! That feels good!"

18. I see my bike parked in the living room, and I stop to think, "Sexy..."

19. I'm the only one at the entire workplace of hundreds of people who cycles to work, and yet I think they are the ones who are different.

20. I ask a lady at work, "How's your husband," because he's a cyclist.

21. I still can't figure out why everyone is not riding bikes as much as possible.

22. I can't believe I wasted so many years not cycling.

23. I spend way too much time on this forum! :)

24. Incredible horniness levels - or is that just me?

Thats just you... Maybe its time to change your sadle? :) heheh

25. All your pants have holes torn in the right leg from your sprockets

26) Grease spots and chainring imprints on their legs

27. Spiffy chainring scars.

28. You spend $2200 year for a bike website where people can talk about how much they want to sleep with there bikes.

Man, i say we stop at 101 ways to identify a cyclist from the crowd...

29. I shave my legs. (Uh...oh yeah...I should right?) ;)

30. Bike-evangelist - I tell EVERYONE that they should ride a bike.

31. I must be the only adult in my company that carries baby wipes -- for themselves. Nah, folks, it isn't for THAT.

32. My bike has a name. Whoops--meant that for "Why People Think I'm Mental" list.

33. I wear padded shorts, but I'm not a circus/rodeo clown.

34. I own a car, but my bike is CLEANER and better maintained than my car.

35. I get cranky when I'm NOT riding.

36. Nice butt, nice legs at any age.

37. Better endurance than most anybody (except your other bike friends).

38. looks out the office window at 3:00 PM; one glance at his/her bike in the parking lot, one glance at the weather.

39. Volunteers to make lunch runs for colleagues in the office- via bike, of course. Can bring back hot lunch, cold drinks, and not spill any of it.

40. Happy to hear that gas prices are going up again. It justifies even more bike purchases.

41) Get excited about titanium frames and components.

42) Gets even more excited because he's reached his 100th post

43. Justifies buying a $1500-2000 bike with "Look how much money I save commuting on my bike?" I figure $0.50/mile - $7.00 parking plus $3 gas/20 miles round trip.) BTW, so far none of the justifications have worked, but I have turned my $400 bike into a $1000 bike, and only cyclists would notice how. :)

44. Justifies new saddle with "You don't want me to get IMPOTENT, do you?"

Agree wholeheartedly with all previous points but especially Pete's 21-23 and Technogirl's 34-35. And, Joe, can you describe/explain eating the banana through a pinhole? :confused:
Rainman

Originally posted by RainmanP
And, Joe, can you describe/explain eating the banana through a pinhole? :confused:
Rainman

Yes, Joe, could you explain that one to me, too? (I know I sound ignorant, but I'm open to new input.)

45. Your wife threatens to leave you if you don't spend less time on the bike, and you are really stumped on this one.

46. You are strangely proud of the muddy streak up the middle of your back on rainy days.

carl

Originally posted by mike
36. Nice butt, nice legs at any age.
Ya, man, the sexiest thing about my bike is ME!

37. Better endurance than most anybody (except your other bike friends).
Tsssshhhhh...no contest.

38. looks out the office window at 3:00 PM; one glance at his/her bike in the parking lot, one glance at the weather.
"It's just too good to be true...Can't take my eyes off of you..."

39. Volunteers to make lunch runs for colleagues in the office- via bike, of course. Can bring back hot lunch, cold drinks, and not spill any of it.
Ya, Mike...I'd like a ham & pastrami w/swiss on rye w/tomatoes, mayo & mustard...take your time, I live in Atlanta...how far is that from the Snowy Midwest?

40. Happy to hear that gas prices are going up again. It justifies even more bike purchases.
:blush: (Mike...!)

Everytime i go out riding, i put a bannana or two in my camel bak, somehow on every ride it ends up under 5 pounds of gear, and is totaly sqashed, its easyer to poke a hole in one end and suck out the bannana as a pudding then to eat it normal :)

Aww, you guys dont do that? its kinda like bannana baby food, good stuff...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh....

I knew you were cool, Joe!

47. LOL,while chasing pedestrians!

:):):)

Mark b.

48) Laughing out loud while at the same time thinking about giving Toolfreak a bell for his machine.

49. Your bike costs more than your car.

50. Your cars sit out in the worst of weather and you have a garage, but it is occupied by bikes, a repair stand and tools.

51. Your video tape library is cycling shows and movies.

52. You can reflect on your early days and can tell people how PK Ripper, Hutch, Paramount, and Western Flyer got you started.

53. You have more stories about almost being hit by lightning than anyone you know.

54. Part of your weekly expenses are batteries for lights.

55. You can survive on GU and Power Bars and like it.

Right on, Hunter, right on. Your list really hits home with me. My wife looked and said, "Geesh, I didn't think there were two of you." Of course, she parks her car in the driveway because the garage is for bikes.

Funny, man. Good stuff.

56. You screw bottle cages to your dashboard because water bottles won't fit in the cupholders.

Hey, Hunter, I hadn't thought about it, but, with upgrades, my bike is worth more than my car!

57. You pull your car over to help a couple of really big guys who are struggling to push their stalled car up a hill and as soon as you jump in with your "cycling legs," you make short work of it (and they are amazed, wondering
what kind of trick you just pulled since you are a little shrimp).

58. You are out walking and you find you cannot keep your cadence down slow enough.

59. You ask coworkers how they are, they say, "It's Monday, I'm here, that's all," and you restrain yourself from saying, "Really? I feel fantastic today...you must not be taking care of yourself."

60. When you look at people you often wonder how they can stand it, not getting ANY exercise.

61. You used to be envious of people driving huge luxury cars, but now when you see them you think, "Does your
body look as good as your car?"

lets see....

62. You download a program onto your Palm Pilot that determines exactly when the sun will go down in your geographical location so you know how much time you have to hit the trails after work.

63. You're proud when you crash because you can claim "First Blood" of the season.

64. Despite being hit by a car and breaking your leg, you can walk 20 yards to pick up your bike and move it out of traffic before passing out from the pain (I lived this one!)

65. No matter how old, outdated, or obsolete - you just can't bring yourself to throw away old bike parts.

Pax Vobiscum

Ranger

Originally posted by Pete Clark

5) I have felt the joy of giving joggers a near fatal heart attack.

:)

I felt that joy on one summer morning when I was actually jogging myself at the time. It was about 30 degrees C (at 6 am mind you) and another guy decided he wanted a race with me. I went with him for a while and then let him go, thinking he was just too fast for me. I saw him hunched over about 400 metres later, taking stupidly deep breaths and coughing like something I can't describe.

Oh yeah, and:

66. You cover more miles on your bike than most people do in their cars.

Chris

67. More and more, you think, "This car is so useless."

68. You feel guilty for driving somewhere you could have biked.

69. You begin to despise cars in every way, shape and form (this is probably at the root of why we cyclists are so hated...it's instinctive on the part of motorists to hate their mortal enemy, without even knowing why).

70. You love every cyclist, especially little kids who go nowhere else but the end of the driveway (part of #69).

Originally posted by Chris L
66. You cover more miles on your bike than most people do in their cars. Chris

I believe it.

71. Riding along the river, you can hear the ducks and geese.

72. Seeing the Canada geese at the edge of the fog on the water, looking like they're suspended in mid air.

73. Water droplets from the fog dripping off your helmet.

74. No one on the road except you, extending your ride just for the hell of it and being late for work.

75. Getting to work late, and everyone there understands.

You won't do that in your car, and that was just this mornings ride in!

:D

:D

76. You arrive at work in the middle of winter sweating.

77. You have made useful items out of old inner tubes and chains.

78. You go into department stores and your only reason for doing so is to twist and turn parts on Huffy's and Murray's.

79. Your search for property, a house, or a apartment depends on trail or good road riding locations.

Originally posted by Hunter
76. You arrive at work in the middle of winter sweating.

Right on, buddy! DRENCHED.

From this thread it would appear that we don't know the 101 sign of a cyclist, this cannot be the case can it?

80. Urges fellow employees to try out various energy bars

81. When they here the work cassette they don't think of music, it reminds them their chain needs oiling.

Man I feel left out on this one. The thread wasn't even started when I went riding and when I got back there were about 34 posts. Sorry, this was best I could do on short notice! :)

Don't feel bad dirtgrinder, this thread was actually started before your time. I was looking through some of the old threads and decided to bring this one back to life.

Originally posted by Joe Gardner
28. You spend $2200 year for a bike website where people can talk about how much they want to sleep with there bikes.


82. There are various bike parts decorating (yes, those are to decorations da** it!) your office.

83. You can't walk by a mirror without checking out those awesome legs :D

84. You don't see anything fundamentally wrong with # 28 :thumbup:

85. People ridicule you for riding in the rain, snow and cold, but you don't care what they think because they aren't even cyclist.

86. Your snot rocket aim is incredible

87. Seeing a female rider blow a well aimed snot rocket is secretly kinda sexy

88. You have a "bike room" in your basement complete with an end table made entirly of spent bike rims

Can't be bothered to remove armour when sitting down for a beer after a ride. :)...

Originally posted by Joe Gardner


10) When driving you find yourself looking for a water bottle under the seat every 5 min.

10 alternate: You have a water bottle under your car seat.

89. You continue to check the weather radar loop, but you ride regardless of the color or motion of the picture.

90. People continue to tell you that you can eat endlessly and never gain weight - that it must be nice to be that lucky - as they complain of a thyroid condition or a low metabolism, or ......

91. When driving your car, you're more interested in the road terrain and elevation than you are in the conversation of the passenger with you.

92. You think a brand new pair of gloves with missing fingers is cool.

93. You wear spandex (or any other stretch fabric) and don't think twice about it.

94. Owning clothes and a bike in colors that you would never wear to work or paint your car with.

95. You restrain yourself not to mock the drivers you're passing in rush hours.

96. It appears as if you have two kneecaps.

97. You spend money on bike parts without thinking of the family budget.

98. You won't spend money on car parts because of the family budget.

99. When taking the dog for a walk, you spend 10 minutes trying to attach the leash to the bike.

100) you wear your "battle scars" proudly and love to tell every nasty detail of the greatest crash EVER just to watch non-cyclists squrim!!

101) You think that pedestrians on bike trails that block your way should be ran over.

Originally posted by MeHT
101) You think that pedestrians on bike trails that block your way should be ran over.


Yea, but we're not suposed to admit that.