Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - Bffgss Mng - Checkpoint Recap

So, let's hear stories from these checkpoints. There had to be some wack **** going on, right?


What happened? I hear some jerk made you eat a bunch of teabagggs...

I also heard someone who likes to talk a Bunch-O-Smack quit early in the race.
he. hehe.

i think between all of the checkpoints, i did 5 shots, got a hitler moustache, found out a brontasaurus has 20 toes and sang take me out to the ball game (even though i forgot some of the words)...

I wonder who you are talking about Steaky. I mean...to quit this person must of really gotten screwed at the handjob tower on michigan.

yeah having to eat the contents of two tea bags when you know no one had any water on them trully sucks....trully. What about checkpoint 4, i was told to go over to a statue of a man with fish, find the title of it and comeback and wisper it......man with fish WAS the Damn title

yeah having to eat the contents of two tea bags when you know no one had any water on them trully sucks....trully. What about checkpoint 4, i was told to go over to a statue of a man with fish, find the title of it and comeback and wisper it......man with fish WAS the Damn title


Man..that was a beautiful task.

i had to chew 4 or 5 full size gumballs at once....my jaw still hurts.

Damn, you got to do gumballs?! ****, I had pushups at the first three checkpoints. My tits are still sore!

1-"whiskey" (I guess thats what you call Canadian Mist, but I guess you could call Papov Vodka)
2-Tea (very funny, I didn't bring water, I had just had whiskey, my mouth was... a little dry)
3-sing "take me out to the ball game" (no complaint)
4-quiz (when was the ground broken on the Shed = 1927)
5-rum with red bull floated on top (delicious)

So, let's hear stories from these checkpoints. There had to be some wack **** going on, right?


What happened? I hear some jerk made you eat a bunch of teabagggs...

know what's funny.. i totally cheated. WAAHHHAAAHHAA ..

but i didn't mean to. you gave me a teabag and said "thanks for being a good sport".
i just said thanks and stuck the thing in my pocket. i missed the consumption part.

although i recall riding off and hearing someone else say "he's totally gonna eat it."
i thought he was talking about falling off north point into the lake. anyway...

haha joe, i remember you telling me that.....yeah no one had water its was pretty nasty, i was spitting out tea leaves all the way to checkpoint 5

yeah i have zero guilt for cheating. that's so nasty. i mean one bag is wack.

but 2, teadogg?? HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?

you don't have to answer.

man the tea was nasty. they guy hands me these two bags and says eat them. im like the whole bag??? so i almoast ate the whole bag with the pouch part intact. but i think that may have been better than a whole bunch of leaf bits sucking all the water out of my mouth.

The pirates secured DFL as promised, if it werent for a busdriver trying to assassinate Ben we would have had 1st as well, ah well Ben will be getting a brand new ride.

Checkpoints for DFL, from memory:
Checkpoint 0=the secret one way the **** up Ashland, unmanned.
Checkpoint 1=Logan Circle, unmanned.
Checkpoint 2=Montrose Wilson Beach?, unmanned.
Checkpoint 3=Michigan Ave Bridge, unmanned.
Checkpoint 4=Field Museum, Taco Sparks Handoff, 1 NJS stamp!
Checkpoint 5=Skylark, unmanned.

Photographs of DFL pirates to come later in this thread.
Tons o prizes. Awesome

My favorite checkpoint was 4.5.

I had to flip over my bike and rip a hole in pants. Then I had to get a bus to pull over and ask me if I was ok.

I was definitely keeping it awesome.

you should ask to get cycling gloves for xmas.

Point 1 - two laps
Point 2 - yummy tea, I had water, haha
Point 3 - ten push-ups
Point 4 - dino toes
Point 5 - drinky

And a special shout to cogsci, thanks for showing me and Galen the way out to the beach, extra cool.

Ditto Judah, except swap out "dino toes" for "Man with Fish" and "yummy tea" for "awesomely disgusting tea that filled me with hatingly hateful hate."

Also:
Point 0.5 - Threw my chain
Point 2.5 - Flat tire
Point 4.5 - Flat tire
Point 6.5 (on the way to salome's (?)) - Flat tire

Yeah Spud and I got lost with a few other people, you don't happen to have those pictures of us from Checkpoint one and 2? I bailed out after that, I am a loser!

Ditto Judah, except swap out "dino toes" for "Man with Fish" and "yummy tea" for "awesomely disgusting tea that filled me with hatingly hateful hate."

Also:
Point 0.5 - Threw my chain
Point 2.5 - Flat tire
Point 4.5 - Flat tire
Point 6.5 (on the way to salome's (?)) - Flat tire

6.5 was Nicole's not Salome's. You should have recieved the longest tube change award fort that one, tough luck had me stumped too.

Drunk + ****ty pump/tube = Longest Evah. Thanks for your help/tube, man.

CP 1 - 25 pushups...easy peesy lemon squeezy
CP 2 - The dreaded double *********...yech
CP 3 - double back to hancock
3.5 - 10 more pushups...no sweat
En route - Took the lake front path at chicago up to the Field Museum.....my legs almost gave out
CP 4 - The ol' "Man with Fish" gag....thats a classic
CP 5 - RB n' Vodka....but i don't drink so they let me go with a warning :D

CP 1: 1 lap around square (on bike)
en route to CP 2 i got lost for almost a friggen hour
CP 2: um, i didn't go far enough down the beach apparently
CP 3: nothing (i think val felt sorry for me since i couldn't find it and had to call her)
CP 4: count the toes on some dinosaur statue
CP 5: 2 shots

cp1: get picture taken by monkey.
cp2: fooled cp people into thinking i did whatever.
cp3: up the hancock, but since it was closed, got my way out of this one cleanly, considering what could have been --but it still cost me any chance of winning.
cp4: dino toes!
cp5: drank redbull. but the poor cp girl kept just saying "redbull" to me. and i was like "what about it? WTF do you mean redbull?" i really abused her.
cp6: playing spin the bottle with teenagers at nicole's.

what the 'messenger skills' didn't help you out at 3? you're just bitter and a great actor, I'm sure you were swearing at me all day yesterday when I wasn't paying attention. That's okay, I probably deserved it.


cp1: get picture taken by monkey.
cp2: fooled cp people into thinking i did whatever.
cp3: up the hancock, but since it was closed, got my way out of this one cleanly, considering what could have been --but it still cost me any chance of winning.
cp4: dino toes!
cp5: drank redbull. but the poor cp girl kept just saying "redbull" to me. and i was like "what about it? WTF do you mean redbull?" i really abused her.
cp6: playing spin the bottle with teenagers at nicole's.

5(!) freakin' gumballs. my jaw is gonna be sore for days!
(the memory of the pumpkin bread is helping though :))

i know i wasn't the only one who crossed lakeshore at roosevelt going to the field museum without the aid of the pedestrian tunnel. hauling your bike over the railing while 4 lanes of cars are flying by SCUKS!

i know i wasn't the only one who crossed lakeshore at roosevelt going to the field museum without the aid of the pedestrian tunnel. hauling your bike over the railing while 4 lanes of cars are flying by SCUKS!

i missed the tunnel at first, but didn't wanna try crossing LSD, so i carried my bike down the embankment to the tunnel cyclocross-style.

5(!) freakin' gumballs. my jaw is gonna be sore for days!
(the memory of the pumpkin bread is helping though :))


you think you have it rough? every time I go to her house she stuffs me with gumballs! when we go out - MORE GUMBALLS. Bike rides? "here, have a gumball instead of water".


I WILL DIE A SLOW, STICKY, CAVITY FILLED DEATH!!!

cp1: 25 pushups
cp2: 15 pushups
cp3: 10 pushups
cp4: "When did the Field Museum open?"
cp5: 1 can RB (no shots! WTF?!)
finish line: my patented "slide into home plate" move

yeah i crossed lakeshore going to the field as well... i thought there was a sidewalk on that one side and promptly found out there wasn't. when i saw that i could jump the fence i was oh so excited

1. Two Laps
2. Marker Stache
3. Five freaking gum balls
4. Did the 'The Worm'
5. Shot of bacardi/redbull

I did the Rosevelt/LSD thing as well, I just turned around and went back to the sidewalk that went under.

I'm curious, what if a person doesn't drink (okay, i'm straight edge) and s/he were in an alleycat where checkpoints required drinking?

Not trolling, just really curious.

redbull was an option. we kept it fun for everyone - no morals were tampered with.

it's funny how everyone complains about the eating the tea, when the REAL treachery of that checkpoint was the fact that there was a giant structure right smack in the middle on the way out to the pier, with like a foot of space on either side to get past it complete with wet patches right on the gap. If someone was too 'core or careless they would have gone straight into lake michigan. That would have sucked the most.

it's funny how everyone complains about the eating the tea, when the REAL treachery of that checkpoint was the fact that there was a giant structure right smack in the middle on the way out to the pier, with like a foot of space on either side to get past it complete with wet patches right on the gap. If someone was too 'core or careless they would have gone straight into lake michigan. That would have sucked the most.

hahah, I'm glad you like it. I was secretly hoping someone would fall in. It was funny when two people would approach the passage at the same time and yell at each other to get out of the way. I should go snap a picture of it so non-racers see it.

redbull was an option. we kept it fun for everyone - no morals were tampered with.

well, that's good to hear.

...

except, I don't drink caffeine either. ha. I really wish i made it. it sounds way to fun to miss again.

we would have given you a mouthful of dirt/sand!

i'm ****ing scared ****less of water, too. i was sure that i was going to be ****ing rocking some wet panties... everyone should be thankful that those ****ers didn't become translucent.

we would have given you a mouthful of dirt/sand!


YEAH!

can't be much worse than a dry bag of tea.

i can't believe you suckers actually do the checkpoint tasks.
i make a habit of getting a task from one checkpoint person and then telling the other i did it to get the credit for not doing smack. it worked at checkpoint 1. (It always works at checkpoint 1 because of the crowds that all get there at the same time. It takes a little more skill to make it fly later in the race, but i've gotten good at it.)

checkpoint 1: told to do 2 laps. did 1/2 around the monument thingey to find the other friendly volunteer to tell him i had completed my task.
checkpoint 1.5: watch the guy in front of me roll over the hood of a car and his bike fly 5' into the air. call 911. trap the driver. make police report. repair bike. ride to yojimbo's. get stuff and ride stuff back to Ben.
checkpoint 1.75: drink it off at the Gold Star. try to fend off CreepyGuyAtTheBar. Discuss recovering costs from driver.
finish.

sketchville.

i can't believe you suckers actually do the checkpoint tasks.
i make a habit of getting a task from one checkpoint person and then telling the other i did it to get the credit for not doing smack.


so what you're saying is you a lying, cheating ****er who takes advantage of people who are doing you a favor by putting together a race for you to ride in?

awesome. you shouldn't say **** like that. at the very least, you shouldn't brag about doing it habitually.

dude, chill. just being goofy. goddamn interweb.

i can't believe you suckers actually do the checkpoint tasks.
i make a habit of getting a task from one checkpoint person and then telling the other i did it to get the credit for not doing smack. it worked at checkpoint 1. (It always works at checkpoint 1 because of the crowds that all get there at the same time. It takes a little more skill to make it fly later in the race, but i've gotten good at it.)

checkpoint 1: told to do 2 laps. did 1/2 around the monument thingey to find the other friendly volunteer to tell him i had completed my task.
checkpoint 1.5: watch the guy in front of me roll over the hood of a car and his bike fly 5' into the air. call 911. trap the driver. make police report. repair bike. ride to yojimbo's. get stuff and ride stuff back to Ben.
checkpoint 1.75: drink it off at the Gold Star. try to fend off CreepyGuyAtTheBar. Discuss recovering costs from driver.
finish.

I can't believe you didn't finish the race!

i am chill, baby. ice cold.

Sorry to hear about the accident and such. Now that, that is out of the way,

I totally understand cheating to win,... if you have any chance of winning.

That's part of the way the game is played. But I imagine that maybe 10% of people who were there had any chance of winning and they know who they were/are.

For the rest of us (obviously, myself included) the race was recreation and being a recreation activity you are free to do what ever you want. But myself, I just don't understand the appeal of cheating to get 24th as opposed to 26th place in a race.

I didn't cheat and I did get 24th!

We were suposed to eat the teabags??? eeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!
Of course I say that and had to stop after checkpoint 5 to eat a
granola bar to get the aweful baccardi taste from my mouth, well
either that or relive that shot backwards!

I can't believe you didn't finish the race!
i did finish.
just, i only hit one checkpoint.