Jeff Foxworthy on New England

[CRUM]

Just emailed to me by a friend.

Jeff Foxworthy on New England


Forget Rednecks... here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say on New Englanders:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you might live in New England.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and Boston gets more snow than any other majority in the US, you live in New England.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NEW ENGLANDER WHEN: "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction .

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

"Down South" to you means Philadelphia.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends.

[msviolin57]

I'm forwarding this to a New England friend! :)

[2manybikes]

Missing an important one.

You like riding your bike in the snow and on the frozen lakes.

[baiskeli]

Holy sh*t! That is funny, especially

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction .

[Joe Dog]

I think we've got to get old Jeff up to Minnesota or Alaska.

[pakole]

Just emailed to me by a friend.

Jeff Foxworthy on New England

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends.

I know I am guilty of this one. I have been know to walk out in 30 degree weather in shorts just start putting long sleeves on in the 20s. The problem with this one is that I am from FL where 40 weather is a state of emergency. Oh well.

[Brillig]

"You measure distance in hours."

Doesn't everyone? :D

[Olebiker]

The problem with this one is that I am from FL where 40 weather is a state of emergency.

Man, we freeze to death at room temperature. What is so funny to me is that we cool our houses in the summer to temperatures we consider too cold in the winter.

[vtjim]

Comments from a Vermonter... :eek: :D


If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you might live in New England.

Or jumping through the hole and swimming around. (I'm an ice diver)

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and Boston gets more snow than any other majority in the US, you live in New England.

D*mn straight!

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

Guilty.

You measure distance in hours.

Yep.

You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and back again.

Of course.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

Just don't do this around "whiteplates" because they try to imitate and cause accidents.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

No lie.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction .

Vermont has an additional season: Mud.

"Down South" to you means Philadelphia.

Or Albany.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

I am not making this up. I've been to such a party.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

Uh huh.

[pakole]

It so tru. I remember I used to have to wear a sweater in some of my classes because the A/c was too much. Movie theaters were even worse.

[TheDTrain]

I went to Florida once and wore shorts and a Tshirt when it was around 50, people thought I was crazy, but alas, I'm from New England.

BTW, I don't get Jeff Foxworthy's popularity. He isn't even funny. You want funny? Carlos Mencia, now he's funny.

[pakole]

Could you pass a link along to one of his skits? I am not familiar with him. Thanks

[TheDTrain]

Don't bother. He's one of those blue collar tv guys who just makes dumb redneck jokes only dumb rednecks get.

[Stacey]

BTW, I don't get Jeff Foxworthy's popularity. He isn't even funny. You want funny? Carlos Mencia, now he's funny.


If you're a Latino... maybe.

Foxworthy just has simplistic charm. If yor're redneck or not... you've encountered the people he's talking about.

[Stacey]

Could you pass a link along to one of his skits? I am not familiar with him. Thanks


http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/media/

[vtjim]

I went to Florida once and wore shorts and a Tshirt when it was around 50, people thought I was crazy, but alas, I'm from New England.

My mom was in Texas a few years ago and went swimming in an outdoor pool. It was in the 70s. She was the only one there, and the hotel staff thought she was out. of. her. mind. :rolleyes:

[Olebiker]

Don't bother. He's one of those blue collar tv guys who just makes dumb redneck jokes only dumb rednecks get.

Man, it must be awful to be that urban and hip.

[TheDTrain]

If you're a Latino... maybe.

Foxworthy just has simplistic charm. If yor're redneck or not... you've encountered the people he's talking about.

Dude, I'm asian. And I'm not one of those people who only likes people of my own race. Dave Chapelle is funny, Eddie Murphy is funny, Carlos Mencia is funny.
I've watched one of his blue collar tours and I did not laugh once. Maybe I just can't relate to having a shotgun on the back of my pickup, following nascar, and being part of the kkk, or maybe his humor is just idiotic and never clever or anything.

[Olebiker]

Dude, I'm asian. And I'm not one of those people who only likes people of my own race. Dave Chapelle is funny, Eddie Murphy is funny, Carlos Mencia is funny.
I've watched one of his blue collar tours and I did not laugh once. Maybe I just can't relate to having a shotgun on the back of my pickup, following nascar, and being part of the kkk, or maybe his humor is just idiotic and never clever or anything.

If millions of people are laughing their butts off at him and you aren't, maybe you just don't have a well developed sense of humor.

[Stacey]

Dude, I'm asian. And I'm not one of those people who only likes people of my own race. Dave Chapelle is funny, Eddie Murphy is funny, Carlos Mencia is funny.
I've watched one of his blue collar tours and I did not laugh once. Maybe I just can't relate to having a shotgun on the back of my pickup, following nascar, and being part of the kkk, or maybe his humor is just idiotic and never clever or anything.


Dude, I don't give a flying fug if you're martian. Let me connect the dots... You said He was funny. I said Maybe if you're latino. Ok, you're not latino, but you find him funny. That's cool. I'm not latino, and I don't find him funny. That's cool too. But we both find Murphy funny :eek: what a suprise!

Why do you think white people that like a white comic but don't like a latino one are racist? FWIW... Jerry Lewis sucks!