I had been riding with a group ride by myself to get back into shape. I have actually gotten to the point where they ride to slow for me and so I needed to go to a faster paced group. However I thought that my daughter was doing great on her trail a bike (she is 4 yrs old) that we would ride with the group. I figured that with me pulling her, the extra weight would make it so that I would still get a good work out with that group, that and I don't want to go too fast with her.
We did a couple of rides with them and only went part way before having to turn around. (we still got a 23 mile and 28 mile ride in with that early turn around) If the group was going to go on one of the bussier roads for more than a few blocks I wouldn't do it, although we do go on some street with road traffic, but they are the ones where the traffic is light and there is a bike lane. My daughter does a very good job, no squirming or whinning or anything like that. She holds on and keeps her feet in the pedal toe clips and is not a bother at all.
The ride leader asked me not to bring her on the rides anymore because several people expressed their concern about my daughters safety as they were worried. I actually liked going out with the group with my daughter. A couple of the riders that asked where she was the last time I rode with them and they thought that I should still bring her. My question is has anyone else experienced this? Also what do you think?
Thanks
The BikeForums Team
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I could see where it might make other riders nervous. Do you take a pull with the tag-along, too? That would make me nervous.
Some adults don't like having kids along. Some adults just don't like kids.
cyccommute
I had been riding with a group ride by myself to get back into shape. I have actually gotten to the point where they ride to slow for me and so I needed to go to a faster paced group. However I thought that my daughter was doing great on her trail a bike (she is 4 yrs old) that we would ride with the group. I figured that with me pulling her, the extra weight would make it so that I would still get a good work out with that group, that and I don't want to go too fast with her.
We did a couple of rides with them and only went part way before having to turn around. (we still got a 23 mile and 28 mile ride in with that early turn around) If the group was going to go on one of the bussier roads for more than a few blocks I wouldn't do it, although we do go on some street with road traffic, but they are the ones where the traffic is light and there is a bike lane. My daughter does a very good job, no squirming or whinning or anything like that. She holds on and keeps her feet in the pedal toe clips and is not a bother at all.
The ride leader asked me not to bring her on the rides anymore because several people expressed their concern about my daughters safety as they were worried. I actually liked going out with the group with my daughter. A couple of the riders that asked where she was the last time I rode with them and they thought that I should still bring her. My question is has anyone else experienced this? Also what do you think?
Thanks
I'd continue to ride with them (probably out of spite :D ) Tell the people who have concerns about your daughter's safety that when they start contributing to her upbringing they can start dictating where and when you can both go for a ride. Heck tell them that you'll even sell them "busy body" shares in your daughter. It'd be a good way of getting her through college ;)
I rode with my daughters on the back of a tandem (which is better than the tagalongs by the way) for years with a club. We were a fixture and we could kick just about anybody's rear ;) My oldest was, and is, a strong rider who still rides at age 20. My youngest was a marvelous story teller and I loved riding with her as she told me about her imaginary world. I did plenty of riding without them but the rides together were priceless.
Just tell the concerned club riders to mind their own business or you'll start sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong! Your kids will young for a very short time, enjoy all of that time you can.
ChiliDog
Since when do these kind of people have so much clout? I don't get it. It's like being told "you are irresponsible, so don't hang around us anymore." There's nothing inappropriate or dangerous about what you are doing. If they don't like it, they should stay home!
LCI_Brian
If it's too unsafe for your daughter, then why isn't it too unsafe for them? Sounds like the real reason is something else. Maybe they can't get a good enough draft behind her? ;)
dragonflybikes
If it's too unsafe for your daughter, then why isn't it too unsafe for them? Sounds like the real reason is something else. Maybe they can't get a good enough draft behind her? ;)
Thanks, I have thought maybee it was because on the last ride I was able to beat most of them up the hill still. :D Actually I know that isn't the reason but it is fun to think that it could be.
webist
I agree. Just barge in and do as you please. Just because you are part of a group doesn't for a second suggest that you should behave like the rest of the group. Particularly galling is the act of the leader in requesting you conform to group norms. Who does the leader think he is? The leader? You should start bringing your dog along too.
atbman
I think you should take notice of them. They are clearly doubtful of their own ability to avoid hitting you/her whilst riding in a bunch.
Advise them that you are willing to take them out individually for a small fee ($50/hr?)and coach them in safe group riding. Alternatively, just hang about 50yds off the front of them and get her to wave at them. Whether or not, at 4, it is too early to teach her the social norms of digit waving, is, of course, your prerogative.
linux_author
- find a new group?
- or start your own group of family riders?
dragonflybikes
I have thought about starting my own group of family riders. Anyone in this group live in Phoenix?
bikingbets
I agree with everyone: dragonflybikes was being dissed when asked not to ride. However, once being treated that way (obviously not being welcome into the group anymore), how comfortable is it to continue riding with them? It's sad that (although inconsiderate and unfriendly...it's only a bike group & not Olympic training) people can make a healthy, social activity so unsocial. It's becoming more and more common in America, I've noticed.
Great idea to start your own group!
Karst
It sounds like the leader and other riders are primarily worried about (1) potential liability issues and/or (2) just don't want to be around if a crash occurs. They may feel that your daughter is just too young to be towed along---or is younger than they would be comfortable towing along. So they may just have a strong sense of unease. I can understand their sense of unease, if that is what the problem is.
Maybe you need to have a discussion with leaders of the club---assuming we are talking about club rides. What are club rules and policies? What should leaders be comfortable with? What should accompanying riders feel comfortable with? These may not be easy questions to answer. You have to decide what your answers are, and may have to accept that others may reach very different answers.
Good luck in sorting it out!
[So that you have a sense of where I am coming from: I study water flow and water chemisty in caves as part of my profession. That means I have to go in caves, sometimes with novices, as a leader. There have been times I have had to limit what the group could do because I judged that one participant was not up to the challenges involved. And I certainly did not want to have to institute a cave rescue if something went wrong and someone twisted an ankle, or broke a wrist, leg or arm. One time a highly qualified caver friend wanted to take his young children along. They were about 6, 7 and 8 years old. This turned out to be an extremely bad idea, in my opinion. But the dad thought everything went fine. I was afraid for the kids the whole time and vowed never again.]
DynamicD74
Start your own group! These folks don't sound like they are any fun anyway! Who would want to hang out with a bunch of jerks who want to exclude a child from a fun, healthy, supposedly family oriented activity, anyway? They sound like a bunch of duds!
sydney_b
Some adults don't like having kids along. Some adults just don't like kids.
One more point of view, having 3 boys, sometimes I'm grateful for adult-only environment for a change and when someone unexpectedly brings a kid that triggers "parent-mode," which dims the mini vacation. Just a thought.
/s
Pompiere
Nearly everywhere you go, there will be cranky people who don't want kids around. Life's too short to waste it arguing with people like that, but you can find alternatives that welcome you and your family.
My wife and I dropped out of a sports car club nine years ago because they didn't have any place for the kids. Now we participate in activities that are family oriented, like 4H, Scouts, biking, camping, etc.
By the way, we had a Trail-A-Bike until last year when my son out grew it. I never took it on any organized rides, though.
slagjumper
What can you do if people went so far as to tell you not to bring the kid? I've never taken my daughters on a training run. I've used the trailobike for family related biking only. Why give the idiots another reason to blame someone else when they wipe out and break a coller bone?
Crazy Cyclist
I say **** em. If they don't want you or your daughter to ride with them then who the **** needs them? They sound like a-holes anyway. This is why I would never join a cycling club, too many *******s who think they can tell me what to do. They think they own the club. I ride by myself
GGDub
These are just fun randonee type rides right? You're not riding in a tight pack/paceline? I could see with the latter how this would be a problem but definetly not with just fun/easy paced rides. Sounds like the typical "need to control what your neighbours doing for self esteem" deelio to me.
Keith99
A couple of the riders that asked where she was the last time I rode with them and they thought that I should still bring her. My question is has anyone else experienced this? Also what do you think?
Thanks
I have a couple of thoughts. One is that the group leader has only heard one side of things. There are some in the group who for whatever reason do not like a younger rider with the group. They complained. There are others in the group who like having a well behaved young rider. They had no reason to say anything.
Talk to the riders who asked about your missing child. Ask how they feel and ask them what you sould do about things. They know far more than any of us here on the site could. Perhaps they should speak to the ride leader. But be aware that if you push things the end result could be a split in the group. Worst case is two groups too small to survive for long. But if this is something you and the other riders who asked about your child are willing to accept I would say go for it.
dragonflybikes
I know some other riders didn't like what I was told and basically said what a bunch of you have said. I didn't go out asking but a couple of them asked where my daughter was on the last ride I ride that I did. The ride leader is also one whom is concerned as well.