Advocacy & Safety - Involved in another auto collision - this time, it was purely (intentional*?)

If anybody knows London, ON, I was involved in a crash traveling eastbound on Fanshawe Pk Rd in the thru-lane, wherein a van was exiting south from the Petro-Can station, crossing two lanes of traffic to turn left (north). I believe it was intentional on my part because I've been feeling depressed over school and life recently, and was involved in a similar accident in October, so I realize the dangers of filtering (albeit, the light was green for half a minute before i moved). At the last moment, I snapped out of my morbid daze, and tried to veer out of the driver's way but still hit his hood, and flew several metres away with the bike (I have clipless pedals). The driver was nice enough to wait around, while I was ambulanced to the hospital. At the hospital I received a few stiches, while the police officer took my account of the events. No one was charged, but I did not tell the hospital staff nor the officer the possible underlying cause of the accident. I've been compartmentalizing and avoiding life so I'm fearful of my family's reactions to my behaviour of the last few months. I've also been really lonely going to school in a new city. My question to you fellow board members is if I should discuss the psychological aspect to this accident with the authorities?

You should see a professional mental-health counsellor. I work with a batch of them, they're awesome people. :) Go for it.

+1

If you're not comfortable seeing a professional, feel free to PM me if you want to get some things off your chest. I'm not a licensed professional counselor, but I have a psychology background and I've counseled as a volunteer.

Many of us have been through difficult times. It's a normal part of life. This too shall pass.

I think you're looking for attention.
Much like I am, except I just make a fool of myself.

Damn,

I figure you must have banged yourself up by Adelide/Fanshawe?

If I go I would definitelly rather go down on my bike; but not intentionally!! It has to be all or nothing. And perhaps not just yet :)..

Unless you're in Newmarket for the holidays, if you wanna meet up at Starbucks/Chapters on Fanshawe(Masonville), or wherever in the area, let's do it. I like meeting other cyclists, especially ice bikers.

If you don't wanna (have time to) meet, that's cool, but lemme say one thing; perhaps you should re-evaluate your priorities. Perhaps you're down about exams or just your general direction; but I think a lot of gals/guys on the forums would agree that sometimes the most exciting thing about one's working day is not the stale air at the office, but the ride. Deliberatelly taking that away from yourself is just wrong. Change other things in your life but don't cripple yourself! (It's another thing if someone does it to you accidentally).

See a professional counselor. It doesn't sound like you were trying to get hit on purpose, but just didn't care.

Use the counselling services at UWO or Fanshawe College. I believe services are free to students. Call today. Visit today. Just do it today.

Use the counselling services at UWO or Fanshawe College. I believe services are free to students. Call today. Visit today. Just do it today.
what he said

Also, if this is a way you have been feeling for a long time it might not hurt to mention it to your doctor either. Sometimes depression has other causes as well. The stuff my Doctor prescribed me has made all the difference.

Passive suicide. See someone. Depression longer than 2 weeks is considered an illness. If your life has been affected by someone else's alcoholism, you could go to Alanon. If you are an alcoholic yourself, you could go to AA.

I think you're looking for attention.
Much like I am, except I just make a fool of myself.

And you do it so well, besides looking maaaaavolous!

i don't think i've ever said this before, but i don't think you should ride for a while. talk to someone soon.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I've been wanting to see counseling at Fanshawe for a while, but as I said I'm pretty avoidant and feel that other people have bigger problems than I do. At the hospital, I felt that I was just taking up the staff's time and that's why I didn't tell them about my suicidal tendencies. And slvoid was right, I think I am doing this to attract attention, because these feelings only last for a short time and disappear (or at least are pushed aside) when people take more than a passing interest in me.

Oh, I would never think of cutting or maiming myself by my own hands, because I get pretty nauseated at the sight of blood. Yesterday, I was fine in the ambulance until the paramedic asked me to take off my winter tights to see the cuts to the underside of my knee. Then I got really light-headed and had to sit in the stretcher. Before that, I was completely conscious and brushed myself and the bike off and walked to the side of the road.

I'm fairly new to this forum, and this is the first post I have made (so far). Being a student myself (in the UK) I know from my own experience just how people can feel with the pressure of exams and education, not to mention everything else that life can throw at you.

I think that everything that has been said in this thread is sound advice, and agree with it all. I think that starting this thread was an excellent idea, as I would not want to "time waste" either, but talking about these things definitely helps. I mean that whether if you just talk to a friend or a qualified professional (the latter being a better idea I think).

Good luck with everything, I'm sure it will all turn out fine.

you need hugs :\

*hugs*

and it doesn't hurt to have your friends around to talk with if you're not comfortable with a headshrinker/etc. I know my friends have made me feel better when they've listened to my problems :)

Thanks everyone for your replies. I've been wanting to see counseling at Fanshawe for a while, but as I said I'm pretty avoidant and feel that other people have bigger problems than I do. At the hospital, I felt that I was just taking up the staff's time and that's why I didn't tell them about my suicidal tendencies. And slvoid was right, I think I am doing this to attract attention, because these feelings only last for a short time and disappear (or at least are pushed aside) when people take more than a passing interest in me.

Oh, I would never think of cutting or maiming myself by my own hands, because I get pretty nauseated at the sight of blood. Yesterday, I was fine in the ambulance until the paramedic asked me to take off my winter tights to see the cuts to the underside of my knee. Then I got really light-headed and had to sit in the stretcher. Before that, I was completely conscious and brushed myself and the bike off and walked to the side of the road.

Don't feel bad about going and talking to someone. A lot of psychological problems aren't 100% things but can pop up at the worst moment as you may have seen yesterday, talking with someone who knows what they are doing will not be wasted time for them or you. I have the same attitude about not thinking it is important enough to bother anyone's time with and then one day I thought, hmmm, feelings of impending doom, not caring if I live or die, Hmmm, that just aint normal, time to talk with someone. One of the best decisions I ever made. Going it alone is like not taking aspirin for a headache. The resources are there for you to use why suffer in silence?

And you do it so well, besides looking maaaaavolous!

But if he were ever to need help doing it the BF members are willing to jump in at a moments notice and help !!

:D

When I was going through my divorce, I almost "accidentally" stepped in front of a bus a couple of times. Get help. Talk to people. Life goes up and down; keep on pedaling 'til you get back to the upside. *HUGS*

Best thing to do is to get professional counselling, but if you do decide to off yourself on your bike just be sure to go thru the windscreen and take a cager with you.

Well everybody, I took your excellent advice and went to see the College counsellor on Friday (and thankfully they were still open at 3 pm). I was avoiding going to school for the last month and didn't complete my exams, so in the New Year we'll work together to complete some career counseling instead of another semester of school. They seemed very concerned about me, and I had to fill out a suicide assessment for the records. So I gave an appointment when I come back to London in January; one I'm actually looking forward to.

Oh, if anybody's wondering, the bike was relatively unscathed (with just the rear rack bent and the u-lock missing). Myself, I was pretty lucky as well with just a few stiches, minor bruises and abrasions. I can even walk, albeit, it's more like limping.

So thanks again everybody,
and Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you too. I'm happy to hear that you sought help. Fantastic! You've taken the first step. Stick with it. It will be definitely be worthwhile.

I can't top what has already been posted except to say, as you can see, we're all rooting for you. Best wishes to you.

Please remember that suicide(passive or active) is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY problem. Please keep seeing the pros that you have made an appointment with.

Merry Christmas gboy. I take care of depressed people all the time. With help, they get better. You will too. Enjoy your holiday and keep your appointments!