Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - any advice...

so in my better paid job, i'm a messenger agony aunt.

buyt this ones got me stumped... not really, but i wanna plagarise something offa you guys.

Dear Aunty Nasty
I have a problem, my EX is a vegan. Every time i tuck into a tasty
bacon sandwich, or Pigs heart salad, all i can think of is her eyes
staring at me as if i were satan. what shall i do? am i destined to
become a vegan too? i dont think i'd have enough energy to ride my
bike if i was. help me please!

so i know this guy. he rocks. his ex on the other hand doesnt. now i've got nuthing agianst vegans - my ex fiance was one before she started sleeping around on me, but whatever...

help my boy out here people!

y'all get a headsup on www.movingtargetzine.com

take care, ride safe, etc

the fact that he's still living with his ex (or spending a lot of time around her) is probably the first thing that he needs to remedy.

I don't get it.

what shants said, and also, as soon as he starts sleeping with someone else he'll get over it.

in the meantime, start small, sausage or pepperoni on his pizza, some bacon crumbled into the scrambled eggs, just like training for a race.

(and i'm vegan if it makes aany difference).

who gives a **** what she thinks. ex means ex

get over it

It took me so many re-reads to figure out what the **** you are trying to ask that I don't think I have enough energy to ride my bike now.

If this is really a problem for him, which could be serious, perhaps he should entrust it to a more creditable body than an online fixed gear forum.

and if he's eating pig's heart salads he needs to get over that gross disgusting **** too

hey, hearts are good. very strong muscle = good meaty meat.

eating organs is gross

meh, to each his own. my dad raised me with a fairly adventurous palate.

my parents did too, but organs never worked for me.
my brother on the other hand...

heh. this is one thing my dad created (he's always experimenting in the kitchen. it rubbed off on me, totally): red cabbage, red onions, cinnamon, apples, and raisins, all stewed together. most disgusting slop i've ever tasted. now THAT'S nasty.

to me, organs are just a dead animal i'm eating, the same as a thigh or wing or steak.

anyway, this dude in the letter should eat what he wants and stop worrying about his ex. obviously he still gives a **** about her for whatever reason, so that needs to be remedied before he can stop worrying. so i second dolface, he should sleep with someone else, or at least start talking to other girls and getting numbers and ****. find a new pretty, fixie riding gal to fall head over heels for, you know?

slay 'tang.

http://www.ephemeranow.com/images/JPGs/meat46txt.jpg


your tags are reversed

ha ha ha....reminds me...i have some breakfast sausage in the fridge. mmmm....

http://www.ephemeranow.com/images/JPGs/meat46txt.jpg

And organ meat is delicious. Chicken liver omelettes are just one prime example.

ok people, for those of you that dont get this post... ma boys ex just KEEPS on bugging him... she rung him up mebbe 30 tmes the other day, loads of emails etc... he wants no part of it... he's a dedicated carnivore that had to go to the dark side of veganism whilst he was dating her... he wants some advice as to how to put her off i guess. thanks so much for all your commetns so far, but i need more - ya aunty nasty needs more... and i'm not talking about stapling strips of bacon to ya pumas... (that is a bristish thing - our rashers of bacon look more like the puma thing than your very odd us rashers, HOWEVER uastraqlian bacon sucks. tastes waaay too piggy) if you aint getting it, then check out www.movingtargetzine.com. i do the agony aunt column. it aint rocket science

i'm partial to hearts. liver's not bad either, and i have some chicken gizzards in the freezer i need to cook up sometime.

EDIT: i also am looking for haggis in the portland area.

hmmm, so he just wants her to shut up and quit bugging him? has he said so yet? to her, i mean.

ok people, for those of you that dont get this post... ma boys ex just KEEPS on bugging him... she rung him up mebbe 30 tmes the other day, loads of emails etc... he wants no part of it... he's a dedicated carnivore that had to go to the dark side of veganism whilst he was dating her... he wants some advice as to how to put her off i guess. thanks so much for all your commetns so far, but i need more - ya aunty nasty needs more... and i'm not talking about stapling strips of bacon to ya pumas... (that is a bristish thing - our rashers of bacon look more like the puma thing than your very odd us rashers, HOWEVER uastraqlian bacon sucks. tastes waaay too piggy) if you aint getting it, then check out www.movingtargetzine.com. i do the agony aunt column. it aint rocket science

don't answer calls from her, create a filter that sends her email to the trash, and tell her he's gonna get a restraining order if she doesn't stop stalking her.

and then send her a pound of raw bacon in the mail.

ok, hows this?

get an asbo on her

turn up at her house at 3am next tuesday morning, high on rock, naked and smothered in beef dripping, with back bacon rashers stapled to his feet (pumas) and an aviator helmet made out of steak. and then ask to get reaquainted with her. in the biblical sense.

tell her that she never really had a trust fund (she gotta pay everything back) and that 8her 0's chromed carlton track bike is really a pista with the decals ripped off...

you people think that might just put her off?

he needs to be eating some fresh organs, namean?

sorry, for you north americans...

asbo - anti social behaviour order

i have two at the moment. i cant go within 1/2 mile of my next door neighbour because he threatened my housemate, the other i cant divulge on this forum

well, that's the idea, isn't it?

edit: in regard to putting her off.

are you saying he should eat live meat, not dead meat?

is that what "namean" means?

dont let me loose something in english to english translation here...

i think "namean" is just "know what i mean?"

as far as organs, raw might help the shock value, but they don't need to be raw.

alive, i was thinking. genitalia, i was thinking…

much you have to learn, asbo-boy

and city i hope you are, not utd, bacause ass-kicked they just got

http://ironteam.net/archives/yoda.jpg

ok ok,
The guy in question is me.
Lets clear a few things up: I dont live with my EX but she does keep buggin me, i just feel so bad about eating meat because ive been twisted in to semi veganism for ages by her. Now when i look at meat i just feel deep guilt. If im honest i dont really give a crap about animals, so y'know, i dont mind eating them! but recently, i feel bad.
On the 'moving on' front, i am - even been sleeping with other people if you really wanna know!
But that doesnt change the meat issue. plus the fact shes mental!
Like nasty said to me, if this was the other way around (i was a woman and she was a man....u get me?) then she's be done for stalking!

p.s raw organs....mmmm pigs heart

"and city i hope you are, not utd, bacause ass-kicked they just got"

city are the deal. but sparta fcare the REAL deal. and utd got whupped? i dont think 5-0 to burton albion is an ass-kicking. if only it had been the other way around... <sigh>

what shants said, and also, as soon as he starts sleeping with someone else he'll get over it.

in the meantime, start small, sausage or pepperoni on his pizza, some bacon crumbled into the scrambled eggs, just like training for a race.

(and i'm vegan if it makes aany difference).

i'd never put my sausage on another man's pizza. even if i did, i couldn't guarantee it would be perceived as contributing to a small start.

olc, its aunty nasty to you

and to y'all... the very, very extrenuous link to fixed gear and single speed is that the boy and girl in question both ride fixies (i want her chrome) and the boy builds track wheels (http://www.fixationwheels.com/). shameless plug. sorry mods... buts its been a long day, got slapped with a m15, m11 and m9.

btw olc, have you ever been to st john str restaurant in london? you might find it offal-tastic.

what was my point again?

http://images.digitalmedianet.com/2004/Week_51/cucvocvb/story/emo.jpg

olc, its aunty nasty to you

and to y'all... the very, very extrenuous link to fixed gear and single speed is that the boy and girl in question both ride fixies (i want her chrome) and the boy builds track wheels (http://www.fixationwheels.com/). shameless plug. sorry mods... buts its been a long day, got slapped with a m15, m11 and m9.

btw olc, have you ever been to st john str restaurant in london? you might find it offal-tastic.

what was my point again?

sorry aunty!

thaks for the plug! no i aint been to st john restaurant, offal sonds niiiice.
why you want her chrome? she's touched it. plus its got flats on it...urgh...flats

eddiebrannan: i know, im so so emo.

http://jwz.livejournal.com/590382.html

cross thread fertilization. introduce that chick from birmingham to the ex, making sure birmingham is wearing raw meat on her head. yep. i want that chrome. with the dent. actually, if she's touched it, does that mean its vegan? did you know she's jelaous of that fixie since it gets more attention than her? she calls it "bike". oh geez, she was sniffing around cottee last night. and then got the knock back from harmer and his two buddeis - she was after chisel... anyhoo, zach did the whole promanc thing, swaggerring around in his new barbour, leans back - i suppose you think your a bit of a feminist then eh? the wheels can be trashed ( i believed you built them yeah?) and flat pedals? i heard a rumour that she's going clipless. she has such huge feet. i've bugged her about clips and straps, but i dont think we can get LARGE mks clips this side of the pond. is that emo thing good eating? looks like a butterfly filet pan fried.

olc, mebbe we shouldnt continue this, i'm sure we could come up with some mean response... we are only a block away from each other...

man, sometimes your posts are hard to decipher.
We have probably trashed this thread because noone will understand any of it ---- im off to bed!
oh and those wheels are not my best effort by the way, tho i do like the rims...and she asks me for panniers!? i built her free wheels ffs, jesus!. oh oops, rant over.

olc, theyre just so not manchester. they'll get over it. dont you worry. and if you didnt catch any of it, i can do a london-manc translation for you.

and on that note its only 11.30. time for the bar. again

eat it!..... never been a liver or kidney fan...its never been the same since i took human anatomy and physiology... something about eating the organs that filter all the bad **** from you system isnt all that apealling....good and nutritious though...

so in my better paid job, i'm a messenger agony aunt.



Read: data entry person

Up yours nasty.

Love
*tc

send us a decent email will ya.

Throw pigs blood on the ex and her fixie while eating a hotdog. She'll leave you alone. And get over the guilt. Unless you totally f*ck up cooking it, you're honoring it by turning it into something tasty.

btw olc, have you ever been to st john str restaurant in london? you might find it offal-tastic.

i got the owner's cookbook The Whole Beast (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060585366/qid=1137644153/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-8033491-5380140?s=books&v=glance&n=283155)

i'd rather eat a cow's tongue than a mcdonald's hamburger. it's not what the meat looks like, it's the fact that when i get cow's tongue (from local farmers) i know where it came from. with mcdonalds i don't even know what kind of animal it is.

mister white
why so scathing?
didnt you hear what happened?
i jacked that orifice job to go back on the road. i'd have seen you in nyc but us embassey wouldnt give me a visa. for two weeks.

are you still cross dressing?

so in my better paid job, i'm a messenger agony aunt.

buyt this ones got me stumped... not really, but i wanna plagarise something offa you guys.

Dear Aunty Nasty
I have a problem, my EX is a vegan. Every time i tuck into a tasty
bacon sandwich, or Pigs heart salad, all i can think of is her eyes
staring at me as if i were satan. what shall i do? am i destined to
become a vegan too? i dont think i'd have enough energy to ride my
bike if i was. help me please!


I like your column Nasty - always funny.

I think the key to this one is that he imagines his ex's eyes boring into him like he was satan.

So the solution is either to imagine her with sunglasses on or to start identifying with the feeling of being satan. relax and enjoy it a bit. let it spread to other parts of your life. sacrifice a virgin or some ****. enjoy the liberation of being the dark lord and hope strongly that the bible is a very old fairy tale.

problem solved.

ps i had a stalker ex and it was a pain in the arse. total sympathy

i suppose this was a long time ago...water..bridge..whatever..but in future just don't dis my bike. and nasty you just pissed cos you don't get any.

my parents did too, but organs never worked for me.
my brother on the other hand...
You ate your brother!?(:

Yummm....fried liver and onions with a big side of mashed!!!! And why does asparagus make your pee smell? Anyone?

In regards to onelesscar's problem. A new girlfriend will definitely end the ex calling and emailing. But then, if you're not ready for a girlfriend, you might have two problems. Sorry I can't help ya.