General Cycling Discussion - Parents, Who hates them?

My parents are really gay! They won't listen to me and let me do what i want. So i think im just gonna trick them into thinking im not gonna do any vert or anything and just build a halfpipe with my freinds and go to some parks and have some fun. But if you guys had any similar problems, i want to know that you had to go through they pain im going through of not being able to do what i want. anyways Cheers :beer: and have a good night

Rob

Uh, you know...
As wild as it sounds, parents *sometimes* *may* be *right*!!! I know it's totally illogical and may seem even stupid, but in *rare* cases that's true!!!

Yeah, yeah. But biking is more important than being smart :D

Interesting question Rob. Especially when a large percentage of those on the forums are parents themselves.

Your attitude seems to have a lot to do with maturity. Let us know how you feel about the subject in 5 years.

I suppose its different when you have kids yourself, but i just think that i should be able to live my life how i want it, i guess thats just a teenager thing and im sure their right and all you other parents out their are right, but you know, you were in my position once to and im sure you felt the same way

I'm a parent now, and I remember thinking the same thing when Iw as a teenager. To be honest you will not realize all that you're parents do and why they do it.. until you are move out and on your own, and especialy when you have kids of your own.

There is reasoning behind what they are thinking and saying. In most cases they are probably correct, if you think they are not in not allowing you to do something. Come up with valid reasons why, and discuss it with them. Without specifics about what you disagree with your parents about it is hard to say more then that. And most important don't approach them how you posted on here, talk with them in a intelligent meaningful way. Act how old you want them to treat you know, outburst and react with emotion. This will just confirm what they are saying that you are young and need guidance. I'm not trying to put you down here.

Originally posted by Rob Begley
.... you were in my position once to and im sure you felt the same way
Not exactly.

I didn't always agree with my parents when I was your age but I still had a great deal of respect for them.

I always knew that they had my best interests at heart.

Wow, i feel like an ass of a kid now...

Originally posted by Rob Begley
My parents are really gay!

Rob

So do you have two dads or two moms?

Well, I'm a teenager, but I remember that I had a similar position when... well, I was teenager. :) You should think of your and their action in perspective and understand that even if you THINK you are right, it's very likely that you are not. It's normal, I don't know anyone who was (is) never unhappy with some parents' desicions.

Originally posted by Rob Begley
Wow, i feel like an ass of a kid now...

Don't feel like an ass. I was a first class rebel, moved out early, never did as they say. I just made sure to listen when *I* thought they had something good to say. If you aren't rebelious as a teen I would be a little worried.

I did and have done many other things as well (most of which I will not mention on a public board :D) . None of which I regret as it made me who I am but they are mistakes which don't always have to be learned through doing the mistakes yourself.

If you listen and respect them (as much as you may not show it) take what they teach you and apply it to life. Hopefully this will allow you to avoid some of the pitfalls of growing up. As long as you learn from mistakes you will be fine. If you make the same mistake several times in your life, you (as in people in general in this context) are generally a dumbass :D

I had an oppertunity once to race motorcycles as a pro with sponsorship and all but my main sponsor(who was paying for all travling, gas, tires, entry fees) was my dad's bro and my father told him he better not do it.


. But biking is more important than being smart

A smart cyclist in any of the disciplines of cycling is a better one. I do agree that a lot of parents know what they are talking about.
But I disagree with them if it prevents their kid from doing any type of physical sport. I believe they should let you do vert, dj, street, which ever one you want. I know how it sucks when your folks prevent you from doing a sport you love to do. Yes you will get hurt. Probably break some bones and even end up in the emergency room a few times. That is all part of the learning that goes on.
Back to your statement though. A SMART rider will gradually go bigger with the diff tricks which will reduce the chance of injury. A SMART rider will stay with the easy stuff until he can land the tricks every time. A SMART rider will also have enough knowlage that if that one serious accident should ever happen, then he would be able to support himself in other ways other then cycling.

Also, if you think you are good enough to compete at a national level, try a local compition and see what happens and then decide to try to make some money at the sport, while getting at average 2.00 grade at school.
If you are only cycling to have fun then you should concentrate on getting good grades to help you later on in life. Use riding as a way to relax.

Slainte:beer:

Hey Rob,
when i moved away from home .. i thought wow.. i can do anything i want!........errrrrr..um like my own laundry, scrounge for money for food, oh man.. had to cook it too!.. then of course there was the freedom to come home whenever i want.. go wherever i want.. um, but that required a home to come home to..lol and money to do what i wanted..
yes it is normal to feel pressure when you really really want to do something.. and your parents say no..

here i was at school and working nights... i still had fun.. but i began to appreciate what my parents did for me.
and miss them asking me how i was doing.. if things were going well in school, ... all those "I care" words we seem to overlook when we hear them all the time.
i lost my dad last christmas.. i miss his hugs ..
just something for you to remember... "most" parents just want you to grow up healthy and happy.

by the way.. do you have a tattoo?..;)

Rob, hey, every situation is different and i only know a little of your side only... but it's pretty natural for kids to think so about their parents... and maybe something like half the time the parents are right...

i had really great understanding and supportive parents (wow was i lucky) but i nonetheless had major disagreements...
* i wanted a motrcycle or moped at 15 and my parents said no. i bought one myself at 19 although my mother wasn't happy about it. -- i rode pretty crazy and dangerous until about age 24 (amayzingly no wrecks despite usually riding double/triple the speed limit) when i then only rode what OTHER people would say was crazy and dangerous... it wasn't so bad to wait 4 years...
* my parents didn't allow me to have a car my freshmen year of college which i thought was dumb, but it was a great thing as i didn't need a car, met more people b/c i was on and around campus more AND re-kindled my love of bicycles that had ended on my 16th birthday when i got a car... wow am i glad i didn't have a car!

on the other hand, i had a chance to go to Alaska for the summer when in was 18 (my dad's friend was a park ranger in Denali) but my dad said no b/c i needed to have a "real" job instead of volunteering for the park service --- i still disagree today and wish i had been able to go...

around 16-18 i thought everything my parent's said was dumb... now i think they're pretty smart and pretty wise and i hope i can do as good a job as they did...

i would say, as hard as it is as a teenager, try and understand what your parents are thinking and (assuming they're loving and caring parents which is usually the case when they don't let you do something) figure out what their concerns are and maybe think about what they might know from life that you don't... then try as unemotional (not "my parents are so gay") and rational as possible to figure out a plan or compromise ---- say they're scared of you getting hurt, well then propose to ride in the park but for 6 months you won't do any big jumps or drops... come up with a plan so you can demostrate that you are responsible and that it's really important to you --- unless your parents have something major against it (say like in my dad's case where his best friend died in a motorcycle crash so my parents were TOTALLY against it) you can probably work towards some kind of a compromise over time...

P.S. i was quite often a jerk to my parents when i was a teenager -- i "hated" my dad for about a year when i was 16/17 b/c i had to be home at 11 on weeknights, 12/12:30 on weekends, got my car taken away all the time b/c i was irresponsible, etc... so don't be too hard on yourself if you've been a jerk to your parents, just try and work and comminicate better with them in the future. if you love biking so much most likely they will let you do what you want in the end (they just want to protect you)

P.P.S i also agree with Maelstrom that rebellion is natural and usually moreso for intelligent/creative/inergetic kids (i now realize i was was just bored and unchallenged by High School). although i was a good student and still a good person at heart i was a major trouble-maker my senior year of high school (even got expelled and then re-admitted after 2 weeks) and did all kinds of crazy stuff and crashed one car at 18 and sunk another in a river also at 18 (wow, sounds like i was spolied, but really it's not as bad as it sounds) ---- i personally think it's better to be rebellious and wild while you're still at home so your parents car watch and help you out when you screw up -- i see some of the worst problems from overprotective parents whose kids are then "free" for the first time when they move out and can't handle the responsibility -- example - a college friend of mine was HS valedictorian and after his 1st year of college had straigt As in engineering at a major university and had a never done anything "bad" like drink alcohol or partying or sex or whatever as his parents had forbidden it all... he got involved with student radio, starting going to social events and eventually ended up drinking and partying for 2 years and made failing grades... he was on probation and then graduated with a lower GPA than mine (3.0)... i did way worse things but in HS where the consequences were lower and people watched me (e.g. my parents found out in November my senior year that i was rarely going to class)

oh woops, didn't mean to write a novel there, but maybe something in here sheds light on your situation...

Hey Rob,
Other than our avatar, we have a lot in common. It's just that my perspective is from looking back on the past while you're looking forward to the future.

As a former hellion, current parent of a teenager I love very much and don't necessarily see eye to eye with and son of some "gay" parents who loved me no matter how poorly I treated them, I can assure you that the parent's you despise so greatly today have your best interest at heart.

If I could go back to my teenage years and cut my parents some slack I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I can't so I do anything I can now to make reparations (not because they consider it due them).

Unfortunately, I don't expect you to believe me because experience is still the best teacher.

Best Wishes.

Mark Twain said something like:

"When I was 16, I thought my father was the stupidest man on earth. But when I was 21 I was amazed how much that man leaned in 5 years"

Rob,

I've just finished speaking with your parents and just want you to know they are one step away from sending you to military school.

You think you have it bad now.............

Oh ya, and your Mom thinks the Britney Spears poster does a diservice to Women.

When I was young I thought my parents were stupid, old-fashioned, crazy, and on rare occasions, right.

Now I am a parent and and am a lot like them.:eek: :rolleyes:

And some of my children are parents too and they are a lot like me. That's really scary!!
Unfortunately my daughters are a little like my ex. Too bad they have been handicapped by her. :p

But most of all I miss my parents since both have passed away.
You know what they say - "You don't know what you've got till it's gone". :cry:

Originally posted by A.troll

So do you have two dads or two moms?

Oh darn! She beat me to it.

If your parents were gay, then how did you get here? Biological accident?


I'm just gonna havta assume you mean they're 'happy'. I'm glad your parents are happy.

Respect them and enjoy them while you can. Without them, you would not exist. Here's an abbreviated way of looking at it.....get over it.

My dad sucks, my mom is cool. If only I had one of those buff athletic dads........that would be great.

One day, you'll look back at this parent thing and laugh; especially since your parents are gay.

Originally posted by RonH
...But most of all I miss my parents since both have passed away.
...


Loosing a parent is very difficult.

Rob, one sees lost parents in dreams often. Even after years.

It can not be described. It hits so hard.

You will regret dearly words and actions, which upset your parents.

If you parents do not allow you to do something, it is because they worry about you.

Try to take different approach, try to take seriously what you plan to do. Make some research on safety techniques of this task and let them know that you do it.

Do something big in small organized manageable steps.

It will inevitably cause more respect from your parents.

This reminds me of something I read once. It goes something like this.
When a boy is six: He says "My daddy knows everything."
When he is twelve:"my dad doesn't quite know everything"
When he is sixteen:" My old mans a flippin' idiot, he doesn't know anything!"
When he is Twenty five: "Well maybe my dad isn't so stupid after all."
When he is thirty: "I'm not doing anything untill I talk to dad."
And finally, When he is forty: he says, "Oh, if I could only ask my father!"

This may not be exactly how it was written to begin with, but it gets the point across. What you have to realize is that your folks have a good reason for acting the way they do, you just don't understand it yet. One cannot tear down the rules and institutions of the past without stopping first to consider that previous generations had very good reasons for erecting them in the first place.

I like my parents, after all they're the reason I'm here and they're the ones that got me into riding.

My late mother taught me to be myself and to believe in myself. She provided an ideal counterpoint to my father, who was a strict disciplinarian (although he has mellowed considerably with age).

My wife and I have perhaps been a bit too lenient with our two sons, although both seem to be turning out OK.

The one thing I hated about my parents was the inability to punish me or force me to do anything. I got away with a lot when it came to my seediness but they also never forced me to stay in anything. Karate, Football, hockey you name it I joined and the second I stopped liking it they let me stop doing it. Very very bad.

I love them to death now but wish they had pushed much much harder to keep me in things I was good at.

Originally posted by Rob Begley
My parents are really gay! They won't listen to me and let me do what i want.
The time will come when you will be able to do anything you want.

But the consequences will be much bigger.

Originally posted by Rob Begley
My parents are really gay!
Rob

Lost me right there, kid. Your inability to grasp the concept of respect for others is apparent in the first few words.

Originally posted by KleinMp99
My dad sucks, my mom is cool. If only I had one of those buff athletic dads........that would be great.

Oh my Gods, there's two of them here...

My father passed away Several years ago and all my life I watched him struggle with ill health, as a kid I to wanted a dad that would play sports with me or take me around with him, instead of the stubborn old goat that I thought he was.

Sure it bugged me, but I now know that's the way he was because that's the only way he could survive, He lived long enough to see me grow up, get married and see my kids. (which is what I think he was waiting for).

So your dad sucks right now, maybe he does , but he's your dad and he's there. So love him when you get the chance and hold him whenever you can.

Because that's all I want to do right now to my father.


**** this thread is too upsetting, I don't think I'll be back here again.

Yea I'm with you ouch
I lost my Mum in 88 and it still effects every day of my life.
She was the only one who never ever judged me.

She loved me unconditionally , even when I was bad or didn't achieve what she wanted for me.

She was always there for me when times got bad and I needed a shoulder to cry on.

For the last 14 years I have had no one to go to to share my deepest thoughts with and receive support and sympathy from.

Rob your parents just want the very best for you and don't want you make all the mistakes they did. This period of friction is something everyone goes through with their parents and later you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.

Cherish you parents whilst you have them Rob. One day, all too soon they won't be there any more.

Originally posted by John E
My late mother taught me to be myself.

It reminds me what Emerson wrote: "Insist on yourself."

Originally posted by Ouch !
this thread is too upsetting...

I guess recalling a parent should not be too upsetting.

One would wish that he/she is recalled in a positive light. I mean memories of a parent may be light and positive.

Ancient Etruscans considered death as an organic continuation of life. It looks like this is a good attitude after all.

My son is 15. He's a good kid and we have lots of fun together.

Even so, he makes crappy decisions. I used to get all worked up about it. I was ticked off that he would do such stupid things. I keep reminding myself he's "only" 15; just an immature teen.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is letting your kids make mistakes and learn from them. However, as a parent I must decide, as best I can, which mistakes he can learn from. Some mistakes are too dangerous, or just not allowable. Others are painful to watch him suffer through, but are harmless (relatively) in the long run.

Sometimes, when I know I'm right, I let him walk his own path. He stumbles, then comes back to me and reminds me I was right. I get credibility, he learns two lessons - don't do that, and dad is right now and then.

I keep telling my kids (daughter, 12) that they didn't come with an owner's manual. Their mom and I are learning to be parents as time goes by.

yes, Ouch.. it does hurt to recall a parent.. ... if you can remember any good times... then keep them close.. i found that remembering the last time i saw my dad alive.. was one of the funniest weekends we had ever had..
it was 11 months ago.. and i went home to see my parents.. we decided to make christmas cookies..well.... it was like the three stooges had been let loose inside a tiny kitchen..lol and all three seemed to be suffering from some type of mental disorder..
we were soooooooo backwards.. and those cookies were the strangest christmas cookies i have ever seen..
hugging my dad goodbye that sunday.. was strange, cuz i got into my car...looked at them waving bye...jumped out again and hugged him bigtime.
he died suddenly 5 days later.
We ate those bizarre xmas cookies til about april... i think there is some in the freezer still.....

If your parents were gay, then how did you get here? Biological accident?

I see that some of you 'Old' people don't have teenagers right now. My daughter taught me that GAY has changed meanings AGAIN!

GAY now means what queer used to mean - weird, unbearably odd, or strange.

I guess that if I wait long enough, ‘gay’ may some day mean ‘happy’ again. Who knows? Gayer things have happened!

Lost me right there, kid. Your inability to grasp the concept of respect for others is apparent in the first few words.

^Gay!

We were all kids once...and it disgusts me to see someone turn coat on that experience by adopting the lofty arrogance of self-proclaimed "adulthood".

"Adults" don't have all the answers. If you defer to them entirely because you think that they do, then you may be robbing yourself of the benefits of self-discovery...and giving them unnecessary flattery (maybe the person above needs that).

There is a suggestion that, by their age, they should be able to impart some wisdom...this is not always the case: 1)they may not have attained it, 2)they may not remember it, 3)they may not be able to convey it.

"Parent" has negative connotations and tends to imply an absolute authority. Maybe times have changed....and maybe I'm a young upstart...but I imagine us needing mentors, not parents: wise guidance, not intrusive government.

The strongest influence on my growth and development in the early years was my brothers and sisters...and I have to give my parents credit at least for making them.

You may marvel at my subtle bitterness, obvious independence, and calm rebellious tendency...it might be explained by the fact that my parents divorced after 6 kids and 17 years of marriage...

And here is the brunt of my message: Adults are Kids too.

Adopt yourself, choose your mentors.

I understand that, one day I'll be a parent, and one day I may have a son that feels the same way I do now....I may update this idea when I have the years...or maybe he will.

//end rant. (move this to Rants & Raves :)?)

:) :crash:

Originally posted by usnagent007


I understand that, one day I'll be a parent, and one day I may have a son that feels the same way I do now

Here's something we parents should remember:

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. "

Nice ideas, MikeR.

I've met somewhere, that we can give our children only 2 lasting things: the roots and the wings.

I find that trying to understand my parents thinking, and respecting the fact that they have been alive much longer than I, and that they are not trying to ruin my life, but keep me out of trouble, life is alot easier. Besides dude, where would you be if your "gay" parents did pay with their own money for everything that important in your life? (I.e food, clothes,school, a house, a bed....) They do all that for a someone who calls them gay???

I'm a parent, of a kid who's grown up, moved out, and married. So, I agree with all the talk about parents being older, wiser, etc. I feel that kids are biologically programmed to question parents, disagree, and eventually break free and find their own way. Preferably with the benefit of proper boundaries and guidance. And later, everybody's friends... that's when it gets good.

That said, I'm no expert on the trick-riding half-pipe thing. Is it really so dangerous, if you wear the right gear, etc.? Or is the gear "gay." How did make your case? Did they listen? They have a responsibility to do that. Maybe their decision saved you from spending the next 50 years in a wheel-chair. Maybe not. It at least reduced the likelihood.

I think young Rob has lost interest in getting answers to his question.

Makes me feel for his parents.

At least he aksed though.