General Cycling Discussion - Murphy's Laws of Cycling (Add Yours)

If there are two cars on the road with a cyclist...the cars will pass each other at the precise moment the cyclist is adjacent to both of them! :confused:

Flat tires only happen when the spare tube or patch kit is at home.

Rims only go out of true on that one beautiful day after weeks of crappy weather!

"The further away from the trail head the more critical the part is that breaks."

"The more you anticipate the upcoming weekends ride, the more likely the chance of bad weather."

"The furthest from home you go to start your ride, the more likely the chance of forgetting your shoes."

"When you give away you last tube to a fellow cyclist, you are guaranteed to get a flat!"

"The more time you wait to perform a pre-race tune-up, the more likely you will forget to tighten a critical bolt!"

"The bigger the group, the more spectacular the crash!"

I'll think of some more!

L8R

When a cyclist begins a ride into the wind, the wind will switch direction by 180 degrees by the midpoint of the ride.

You feel at the top of your game, your body feels great, you can take on the world. You proceed to hit every red light for 20 miles.

The harder you train, the more likely you’ll catch a cold the week before the race.

The day after you order something via mail-order, something else will break.

You will crash the first time you wear a new jersey!

L8R

When you finally buy a road bike with money that you've saved for years ... your knee goes out and screws the bulk of your riding season, and who knows how much more of your life.

Then (oh, there's more!), you get stuck in the alphabet soup, red-tape laden world of HMO's, PCP's, NP's, RN's, MRI's, PT, DR's and a host of other health-care/insurance related MFrs.

Sorry, I got of track. What was the question again? :mad:

Those old hubs that you finally sold for 10 bucks at
a yard sale turn out to be 1950's maxicar hubs that sell
on e-bay for $500.00 or 600.00 NOS.

Marty

The farther away from your propped up bike you get, the more likely it is to fall over.

Flats come at the most inconvenient times.

Nice wide shoulders don't exist where you need them the most.

At the end of a day of riding and trying to find a camp spot, when you finally settle on an uncomfortable spot because you've had enough, the next morning you will pas the perfect camp spot. If only you would have kept going a little farther.


Dave

At the end of a group ride, no two cyclocomputers will register the same distance.

When you gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, the nearest litterbox will be inside the mall and you won't have your bike lock with you.

You only need to go really bad the day that you are wearing bib shorts.

" Ya know I've never had a problem with that component ever! What the......"

There's invariably a stop sign/stop light at the bottom of a nice downhill.

When you dress to keep cars from hitting you, a car will hit you.

If a spoke fails, it will be on the drive side....

The more you have to go to the bathroom, the faster you ride.:eek:

There is a direct correlation between the amount of energy you expend trying to make it and the stop light turning red.

Problems always occur at an equidistant point from home and work or from rail station to rail station.

Richard

No matter how many tools you carry with you,something on your bike will break that you don't have a tool for.

Whatever tool you need will be the only one your new multitool DOESN"T have.

* The more crapp you take with you on a ride, the less you use *


:beer:

The last few miles are always uphill.

There is always someone who is fitter, faster or has a nicer bike, so remain humble and have fun!

L8R

What you swore was a flat stretch of road going, turns out to be a hill returning.

Richard

never go far from the bike dressed like that!

The odds of a stop light turning red is directly in proportion to the ammount of momentum you have coming into the intersection.

The grade of hill your climbing is in direct correlation with the number of diesel trucks that will pass you.

When the locals say 'It's fairly flat until the next town' you'd better get ready for some big climbs.

In the winter: the warmer you dress the warmer the actual temperature will be.

Showing off (showboating) in front of the ladies makes you 10 times more likely to crash.

Even if there is no wind all day, the minute you go out for a ride the wind will pick up to 40k and be in your face the whole way.

The one day you forget the road rash kit, you'll crash.

If you forget your pump, you will have a flat.

If you are a guy and forget your pump, there will be an attractive female cyclist in need of a pump. :D

The guy (or gal) in front of you on that flat-handlebar bike who looks so dorky will drop you like a bad habit.

The one time you need to use a mobile phone to call for help, it will either die half way through the call "I am just near......". Or you will discover the one point on planet earth that has no signal.

The one day you have to stay back at work and ride home in the dark, you realise that your lights don't have a full charge.

You pack everything into your bag for the mornings commute except, underwear, or shoes, or a towel, or a shirt! etc.

Great thread.

CHEERS.

Mark

Originally posted by Dutchy
You pack everything into your bag for the mornings commute except, underwear...

Who needs underwear???:love:

When you are riding in a group and it is a thousand degrees out with the sun beating down, flats always occur nowhere near any shade so you all have to stand there sweating your rear off.

Your dependency on needing a toilet is proportional to your distance from the nearest one.

your shortest loop is always 15 minutes longer than you have to get your ride in

The motorist you meet out of the car to argue a point of law with,is always 6inches taller and built like Arnold Schwartznegar. :D

No matter how careful you are, you will fall down 3 times before you learn how to ride with your new clipless pedals.

The falls over new clipless pedals happen always when there are many motorists and peds around.

Waterpoof panniers are waterproof when you cycle around your city, but are not waterproof at all when you are on a long distance tour.

Rain costume makes you more wet from perspiration, than rain itself would do.

Hydrogen peroxide dries out from the bottle immediately as a cyclists gets a crash.

If you put your mobile phone in a pannier, someone will inevitable call you, while you are cycling.

If you injure yourself and have to take a few days off, those days will have perfect, ideal weather.

If you're desperate to 'go' and finally do find a rest stop, it will be totally gross, disgusting and odorous, forcing to to breathe through your mouth the whole time. The chances of it having toilet paper are nil if you forget to bring your own kleenex.

Originally posted by Alexey
Waterpoof panniers are waterproof when you cycle around your city, but are not waterproof at all when you are on a long distance tour.
My panniers are completely waterproof. They fill up with water and not a drop leaks out.

Originally posted by wabbit
If you're desperate to 'go' and finally do find a rest stop, it will be totally gross, disgusting and odorous, forcing to to breathe through your mouth the whole time. The chances of it having toilet paper are nil if you forget to bring your own kleenex.

Would you really rather taste that odor or smell it?

The colder it gets outside, the less hot water there is in the showers at work.

The need list NEVER ENDS!!!!

If you meticulously clean and polish your bike, rain the next day is inevitable.

If you chicken out of commuting because it is supposed to rain, it will not. You will kick yourself every time you drive past a cyclist who did not chicken out.

If you have some crucial part shipped to you FedEx Next Day, it will be shipped 2nd day and the signature waiver will not be specified, causing it to take 3 days.

If you only have one tire lever with you, it will break when you try to fix a flat.

When ordering a part from a store, 10-14 days really means 14-21 days. And during those 21 days, you realize how much better life would have been if you just went to another shop and bought it immediately for full price.

Originally posted by MediaCreations

My panniers are completely waterproof. They fill up with water and not a drop leaks out. I always say that about my shoes! I keep an old newspaper at work just to stuff my shoes. :D