Fifty Plus (50+) - Doctor Doctor

This is a little off the subject but I want to find out from all the men out there how to get my husband to go to the doctor to get a yearly checkup. He is 53, very physically active, riding his bike 4 days a week, going to the gym 3 days a week and he eats pretty good, but could improve some. I want to know how to get to his soft underbelly and convince him going to the doctor once a year for more then just a blood test won't kill him, but possibily NOT going will do him more harm then good. I know I'm not a great fan of going to the doctor but I endure most of the tests and know I'm keeping myself healthy for my husband. So what is the secret?

This is a little off the subject but I want to find out from all the men out there how to get my husband to go to the doctor to get a yearly checkup. He is 53, very physically active, riding his bike 4 days a week, going to the gym 3 days a week and he eats pretty good, but could improve some. I want to know how to get to his soft underbelly and convince him going to the doctor once a year for more then just a blood test won't kill him, but possibily NOT going will do him more harm then good. I know I'm not a great fan of going to the doctor but I endure most of the tests and know I'm keeping myself healthy for my husband. So what is the secret?


Hate to say it but look at some of the problems some of here on this forum have, mostly undetected before the problem arose. A visit to the doctor MAY have caught them in time.

Scary time now- Perfectly fit riding regularly, probably the fittest I had been in 20 years, and Feeling fine- Driving to work, traffic jam for 1 hour, Indigestion, gets worse and realise its serious and 3 months later a Bypass. 2 years later and checkup at doctors, I'm of that age so bend over and yes the prostate is enlarged. No symptoms or any problem- and prostate cancer confirmed. I was 52 when the Bypass was performed and 54 with the prostate.

The Heart problem could have been identified at a checkup but I was lucky with that. My riding partner was not and he was fitter than me. He died a month before I had the prostate operation while on a bike ride. 5 years on from the Prostate Cancer and got signed off this week with an all clear. Both are still in the back of my mind as they can still cause a problem but I have been lucky- Twice.

It is not only women problems that are not talked about. Men hide their problems aswell. Then it can be too late. On top of that you do not have to have a problem for it to be there. Only a checkup and medical at the doctors will confirm that all is well. Just ask your husband to put his bike into service at a new shop that is in the area. The big one that has been advertising locally -what's the name? Wallmart- that it- they service bikes cheaper than any one else. I know what he will say but that is what he is trying to do with his body. It's not worth taking a bike to wallmarts so why bother. Unfortunately a full body service has to be done and it has to be done by an expert.

Now if you want more examples I can give them to you- People I know with Bowel cancer, Liver problems, MS. but you will only have to talk to some of your older friends to get the same.

Litespeed - you are likely asking a bunch of guys who have the same avoidance techniques as your husband, and also hate going to the doc!

For purpose of open discussion, not a flame war, I offer a cynical, skeptical counterpoint on the two specific problems raised.
1) heart: How many unnecessary bypass surgeries are performed every year? Born on the battlefield, western medicine handles trauma superbly, but tends to treat many other conditions with a profitable sledgehammer. A little arthritis or cartilege damage? Replace the entire knee joint. A little arterial blockage which could be reversed by a few months on an ultra low fat diet (e.g. Pritikin)? Perform a bypass.
2) prostate: Most prostate cancers develop extremely slowly. Why sentence the patient to a lifetime of incontinence and impotence at the first hint of an abnormality? I am hoping that promising new technology, such as the German ultrasound treatment, will soon facilitate elimination of abnormal cells without destroying one's quality of life.

By the way,you can avoid the bend over and smile routine by asking the doc to order a PSA (Prostrate specific antigen) blood test.I'd rather have a simple blood test than...

Boy, that's a tough one. I suspect you might have to laden the request with some incentives of some sort if your persistence doesn't close the deal. You might even have to go ahead and make an appointment for him......If I were he I probably would not like it but you know it is in his best interest.

My wife insisted I go several years ago and I am very fortunate that I listened to her. There are some silent killers that can be easily treated. High blood pressure, high cholestrol & colon cancer just to mention a few. At 53 he really, really needs to get a prostate exam. It's critical to not only have the exam but to start a baseline of his PSA levels (Prostate Specific Antigen I think). Sudden and large uptics of the PSA can be indicators of increased cancerous activity in the prostate. Plus he really, really needs to get a colonoscopy (or the abbreviated version)-especially if colon cancer has run in the family. The colonoscopy can catch polyps early enough to prevent much more serious problems.

If you folks have insurance it is well worth the expense-but they are pretty expensive visits if you do not have insurance-at least they would be for me.

On the other hand he can just go blissfully along and roll the dice. Does he do well at Craps!!!

By the way,you can avoid the bend over and smile routine by asking the doc to order a PSA (Prostrate specific antigen) blood test.I'd rather have a simple blood test than...


digital rectal exams are useless, there are far better methods for detecting prostate cancer. A colonoscopy at least uses a probe instead of a finger.

My wife is an MD, family practice, and she very rarely does the digital rectal exam.

At 53, he has already noticed that the wear & tear is showing up. Well, it's showing up internally too, in things he might not notice. Blood pressure, various cancers, and on and on. At 52 I had a CT scan to find a kidney stone. It was cancer which was caught early enough to resolve with a partial kidney removal (15%). It has been 5 years now with no recurrance. Needless to say, I now have doctor religion. Kick his butt all the way to the doctors office if you have to, but do it. It is up to you!

Simple. Lead with your strongest suit. You know.... It's all we, the boys, think about. Cut him off till he gets checked out. But seriously, early detection is better then copious treatment. Knowing is therapeutic.

Just tell him you have decided to triple his life insurance!

Just tell him you have decided to triple his life insurance!

Then he WOULD have to see a doc for the insurance physical. That is your solution!

Here is a $60 suggestion. Buy an automatic blood pressure cuff at your local pharmacy (er, chemist StepFam) and take both of your blood pressures once a week. Get him to agree that as soon as either of your BPs gets higher than 140 systolic or 90 diastolic that person will go to the Doc. While this is not the only symptom, it is almost a sure bet that as geezerdom approaches so will a little hypertension. Once he gets into the Docs, the doc will take care of the rest......

Litespeed and the "fellows":

I'm with JohnE on this one!

Tyson

I would have been in JohnE's camp this time last year. It was about this time that I got the results of my first PSA test, 52 :eek: . Yes, I was later diagnosed with prostate cancer that has spread beyond the prostate making surgery a non-starter. I had had the old ditgital exam several times over the previous five or six years with no indication of the cancer which must have been there. I have now had radiation therapy and will continue on hormone therapy for at least three years. All of this stress and uncertainty could have been avoided had I not listened to those who convinced me that the PSA blood test was unreliable. Litespeed: Insist that your husband have a physical exam and that he get a PSA test.

On second thought, at 53 maybe you shouldn't kick his butt all the way to the Docs office. It'll be colonoscopy time if you do!..bk

A little colonoscopy story to tell your old man, Lightspeed. I've had two uncles (Mother's brothers) die from colon cancer. One at age 52, one at age 60. Fearing problems, I started getting colonoscopys at age 52. Doc found 2 polyps, both benign. 4 years later I had a follow up. Two more in a different location. One was rather large and doc suggested a follow up in 1-1 1/2 years. I had that follow-up on Thursday, and guess what? The large one was back, about the same size, and there were 3 more. Like is often reported, there were absolutely no symptoms. The doctor believes these (4) will be benign as well, but I don't know yet for sure. The biopsey's should be back in a week or so. Bottom line, if I hadn't had this preventative procedure, I feel fairly sure I would be fighting colon cancer today. But because I committed myself to a colonoscopy, I am well and enjoying life and will have to just be diligent and endure this minor inconvienance every 12-18 months. If your hubby really loves you (and his family), he owes it to you guys to take care of himself. It's that simple, don't play Russian roulette when it comes to this stuff.

Life is good, ride hard. OHB

My wife and I are seeing the doc next week about that, errr, colonoscopy thingie.

I don't relish the procedure. I did have a sigmoidoscopy some time back - that was a ball!

My wife and I are seeing the doc next week about that, errr, colonoscopy thingie.

I don't relish the procedure. I did have a sigmoidoscopy some time back - that was a ball!

The only bad part is the prep.

The only bad part is the prep.

Okay, I'll hold you to that!

A little colonoscopy story to tell your old man, Lightspeed. I've had two uncles (Mother's brothers) die from colon cancer. One at age 52, one at age 60. Fearing problems, I started getting colonoscopys at age 52. Doc found 2 polyps, both benign. 4 years later I had a follow up. Two more in a different location. One was rather large and doc suggested a follow up in 1-1 1/2 years. I had that follow-up on Thursday, and guess what? The large one was back, about the same size, and there were 3 more. Like is often reported, there were absolutely no symptoms. The doctor believes these (4) will be benign as well, but I don't know yet for sure. The biopsey's should be back in a week or so. Bottom line, if I hadn't had this preventative procedure, I feel fairly sure I would be fighting colon cancer today. But because I committed myself to a colonoscopy, I am well and enjoying life and will have to just be diligent and endure this minor inconvienance every 12-18 months. If your hubby really loves you (and his family), he owes it to you guys to take care of himself. It's that simple, don't play Russian roulette when it comes to this stuff.

Life is good, ride hard. OHB

+1 for me as well. I had 3-4 polyps removed with sigmoidoscopy and the doc recommended the full colonoscopy. He removed 13 small ones during that procedure.

The procedure itself is not bad.

The prep work is one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I still gag thinking about the taste of that stuff you have to drink......Hummmm......maybe I'll put some of that in one of my cycling competitors water bottles at the next time trial......

The prep work is one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I still gag thinking about the taste of that stuff you have to drink

Amen to that, bro'.

I actually go at least 2 days without eating, because it means I don't have to drink the entire bottle of the stuff to clear my system.

I've had 5 colonoscopies now, they've found polyps several times; non-cancerous, thank goodness. But since the relatives that don't die of heart disease all die of colon cancer, I call the docs to schedule the colonoscopy, I don't wait for the to call me...

They give you really good drugs for the procedure, so it isn't bad at all.

Litespeed,

Well it depends on how strong a doctor aversion your husband has.

I am, myself, somewhat physician averse, but after a few months of badgering from my GF, I went to the physician and everything was fine. Being fit and eating right helps.

So if normal badgering and nagging isn't doing it, maybe something else will.

Usually guys need at least some permission or cooperation to get a toy like a bike, bass boat, new golf clubs, new car etc from their wife. Maybe you can use that tried and true method of bribing him. I know, it is not the optimal solution but it just might work and that is the important thing. It might not even cost you anything especially if there is a coveted trinket that he has been eyeing that you have decided to let him have anyway but have not yet caved in on.

regards,

Pat