Commuting - Too nice

Grrr! I was already in a bad mood, alternately cursing traffic and then laughing at myself, as I took a ride today.

Then on the way home I was out in the street signalling a left turn and waiting for oncoming traffic to clear, when the driver of the first car in line started motioning for me to turn in front of her. I did what I always do, though I hate doing it: I shook my head vigorously, and waved her through. As she passed me, I saw her window was halfway down (not a good idea in my neighborhood, by the way), and I said, "Left turn has to yield!"

It makes me feel crummy and angry at the same time to have to deal with people who are trying to be nice, but asking me to break a perfectly reasonable law in the process--and fouling up traffic to boot.

How do you all feel about this common situation?

It must be confusing to people when they are trying to be nice.

When I'm driving, I'm always courteous to cyclists (for the obvious reason). Sometimes, it's just best to yield to a biker if he's got his momentum and would be a shame for him to stop. That only works, though, if you and bikie both read the situation the same way.

I agree with that, Oscar. I've made grateful exceptions when I was laboring uphill and there was no traffic except the approaching car that offered to yield. They get a big wave and a smile, too.

Give them eye contact, smile, tilt your head, and extend your hand in a "you first, my princess" motion.

It works for me and the ladies often wave at me and smile back as they proceed.

I love people who are "on my side."

But it makes me feel like a guy in a wheelchair who everyone thinks can't make it on their own.

Whyizzit? When in a car, I approach a 4-way stop. There's this game everyone plays in which they bluff each other about who is actually going to stop. On the bike, everyone who is supposed to take their turn just sits and waits for the "crip" (me. Therefore I get to exercise my stopped balancing skills.)

Ugh.

By the way, rules make things predicatable, therefore safer, for me. Just treat me as I'm supposed to be treated. Nothing more or less. Please?

Pete, the part about the wheelchair is EXACTLY what went through my mind today as I completed my left turn (finally).

In situations where it's safe to do so, I'll usually go ahead and turn if the motorist offers.

The thing to be careful of, though, is if there is another car that might not see you, and pass the first one, because they don't know why it stopped.

Ride defensively!

Originally posted by mike
Give them eye contact, smile, tilt your head, and extend your hand in a "you first, my princess" motion.

It works for me and the ladies often wave at me and smile back as they proceed.

You to huh mike?
This is a neccessary manuvere to maintain ones babe magnet dignity.

I'm nodding my head a lot as I read this topic. Why I get frustrated in this situation is that it feels to me like the motorist is giving me a break on "their road," that is, they have the power to ignore the laws and customs and condescend to let me go ahead. When I am not feeling like accepting the "gift" I employ a lot of body language coming up to the limit line, uncliping and putting a foot down and looking like I am settling in for a while. If I think the motorist is creating a hazard, like Aerobat pointed out, I sometimes accept the "gift" if I think that it will reduce the danger all around by doing so.

On several occasions I've had "Nice" drivers overtake me, then stop, to yeild their right of way to let a car turn across the lane.
The worst time was on a wet downhill, and I overshot the car in front, then stopped in a high gear. When I tried to start again, working my way through the gears from a standing start, the driver behind gets really offensive, and yells at me for blocking the road.
Hmmmm.

On a couple of occassions, I have had automobiles drive slowly behind me in what appeared to be an attempt to run interferance and protect me from heavy traffic from behind.

After they passed, I waved and they waved back, so I think it was intentional. In any event. I sure appreciated it.

On the other hand, I had a cager cut me off as we approached the stop light! I had to slam on the brakes to avoid rear ending this guy ~$#%.

I know what ya mean though. When the little ol ladies, stop for you, you remember your scouting days, and want to tell them to flip their good deed coin to the othe pocket!

Originally posted by UncaStuart
[...] it feels to me like the motorist is giving me a break on "their road," that is, they have the power to ignore the laws and customs and condescend to let me go ahead.

There may not be one best answer, but there's certainly a common experience. Pete's image of the bike rider as wheelchair-bound and needing special attention, and Stuart's of the regal motorist condescending to let the poor silly cyclist proceed on his/her way, could both be taken straight from the video replay of my own reactions in this situation.