Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - I'd REALLY rather be riding

Have you ever sat through a presentation on the power of mountain metaphors in business? I HAVE. A presentation. About metaphors. Metaphors about mountains. I'm trapped on a golf resort in the middle of Florida, and all I want to do is RIDE MY BIKE REALLY REALLY FAST FOR A LONG LONG TIME GRRRRRRRRRRRR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...............

Ouch! That my friend sucks.

You know what else? The guy who gave the speech probably got paid like $30,000 for the speech. Totally normal 'speaking fee'.

wow.
if i could drug him and take his place for one speech, i could pay off my loans. and then some.

You could give a speech about how fixed riding is a metaphor for success in business. To show you how bored I am here, I will offer a sample speech outline. Very dumb stuff, but then so is what I'm doing here.

1. Committment is the key to success. Just as you must commit nutz to the stem to perform a long fancy skid, so too must your sales teams commit to the product they are selling. Accompanied by picture of brazen superman thighs-on-bars skid.

2. Boutique shops can flourish. Just as sashae can turn a tidy profit selling Keiren frames to a small, fanatical group of cyclists, so too can your hedge fund company market a capibara ear fur short fund. Qualified capibara investors only, please.

3. Take advantage of trends in the marketplace. Puma booklet anyone?

4. Perserverence leads to success. Perservere in your pedalling, grasshopper, as it is the only way you will not fly off your bike and get where you are going.

I'm tired of writing (and thinking) business speak. I just want to smoke and drink and ride and spit and sweat and etc and etc and etc.

You could give a speech about how fixed riding is a metaphor for success in business. To show you how bored I am here, I will offer a sample speech outline. Very dumb stuff, but then so is what I'm doing here.

it would have to be track racing, even better if you could charge a business $1k per employee for a 'motivational' day at the track

5. During the daily commute that is your buisness day, use your agility and speed to beat the cars, your competition, to the destination. But be smart, and don't get blindsided, or you and your business will be headed to the emergency room.

If it makes you feel any better, there is freezing rain in Chicago right now. So you won't really be missing anything until, say, tomorrow.

You could give a speech about how fixed riding is a metaphor for success in business. To show you how bored I am here, I will offer a sample speech outline. Very dumb stuff, but then so is what I'm doing here.

1. Committment is the key to success. Just as you must commit nutz to the stem to perform a long fancy skid, so too must your sales teams commit to the product they are selling. Accompanied by picture of brazen superman thighs-on-bars skid.

2. Boutique shops can flourish. Just as sashae can turn a tidy profit selling Keiren frames to a small, fanatical group of cyclists, so too can your hedge fund company market a capibara ear fur short fund. Qualified capibara investors only, please.

3. Take advantage of trends in the marketplace. Puma booklet anyone?

4. Perserverence leads to success. Perservere in your pedalling, grasshopper, as it is the only way you will not fly off your bike and get where you are going.

I'm tired of writing (and thinking) business speak. I just want to smoke and drink and ride and spit and sweat and etc and etc and etc.

5. Show them you're ballsy (http://www.fixed-gear.net/frames.htm).