Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - i honked at a car today

on my way home from work today some jerk honked at me for no apparent reason. i was to the far right of the right lane, but far enough to be outside of door prize range and the bastard honked at me as he went by. there's no bike lane on this road for a little ways but it's a known cycling commuter road, so people aren't shocked to see me here; there also wasn't enough traffic to occupy both lanes either. so i flipped him off (probably not the best thing to have done) and went on my merry way not really thinking any more about it. about a half mile or so down the road i come up on a line of cars at a red and i happen to see the guy. he had his passenger window open so i leaned over as i passed and went "HONK!" was this the proper thing to have done? probably not. was it extremely childish? yep. did it feel good? you betcha.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001JXE80.01-AKOKJGVGN39VS._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

other fun noises to make on a bike:
vroom
ring ring
beep beep
weeee

i've done the same thing, only i was riding on a fairly empty and wide road one night, a car drove past, and the passenger leaned out and yelled at me.
i wasn't planning on catching them or anything, but saw that they were stopped at a red, passed them on the right, and yelled back at the passenger as i passed.
when i was riding away i heard, "you better ride as fast as you can, i'm going to get you, blah blah blah," so i made a quick right on red, and hauled ass out of there.
might not have been the smartest thing to do, especially being alone at night, but it was pretty satisfying at the time.

It's so wrong, but I really want to carry around one of those boating air horns when I ride.

My favorite story is still the one where the biker kicked off the guy side mirror while riding by.

I think this thread was aiming towards the more clever, less violent reactions towards motorists' bull****.

My old roommate used to take off so many sideview
mirrors with his mini u-lock, in fact he still does. It's
funny that cars don't think that you can catch up to
them when they drive by you and yell something.
Those mirrors do come off quite easily though. This
is by no means encouraging people to do so, but just
saying.

as for non-destructive things to do to *******s (drivers or anyone), i still really like that "You are a ******." card.

thumbs up and/or "do you feel better now?"

I usually just smash the guy's rear window, but thats just me

teh greatest is to carry a fake grenade and ride up and pull the pin and throw it in their window

I rode up next to a VW the other day that said a bunch of stuff about biodiesel on the back. The window was rolled down, so I asked the driver where he fueled the thing. Hew said he was from out of town and didn't know where to get gas for it locally. He was friendly. We chatted for a minute until the light turned green.

That was my last significant interaction with a driver while riding. I haven't been honked at recently.

i'm not really into property damage but whatever floats your boat. this kinda crap doesn't happen often in seattle, but today i wasn't ready to take any crap from some ******bag in a Kia, the Playskool of the automotive world.

Smashing a dude's mirror off with a U-lock is just going to push him/her to be aggressive to all of the cyclists s/he passes in the future...

Just pull up to the vehicle, tell him that you didn't appreciate the honk, give him a big hug and sing Kumbaya.

teh greatest is to carry a fake grenade and ride up and pull the pin and throw it in their window

Where do you get these fake grenades?

you can get training grenades at army surplus stores.

you can get training grenades at army surplus stores.

you wanna be careful with these. In Australian law if you use one like its the real thing and bystanders cant tell if its fake, you can get done as if the grenade was real.

this was important for a few cases where some people held up some stores with a fake pistol. They tried to use the defence that it was fake but it was ruled that if it looks like the real thing and you are acting like it is the real thing, basically it is the real thing.

I would check your state legal code or crimes act before doing this

yeah, i'm definitely not endorsing the idea...

I just throw naked pictures of whoopie goldberg in their car.

I just throw naked pictures of whoopie goldberg in their car.

where did you get naked pictures of whoopie?

Yesterday, a car that was rolling through a stop sign on a right turn almost hit me. I glared back at them with hatred as I passed by. As he came from behind, he gave me a little honk, and waved apologetically. I waved back, accepting his apology.

Not all honks are bad.

Yesterday, a car that was rolling through a stop sign on a right turn almost hit me. I glared back at them with hatred as I passed by. As he came from behind, he gave me a little honk, and waved apologetically. I waved back, accepting his apology.

Not all honks are bad.

this is very true, not all people are jerks. i just assumed that my guy was being a jerk since his honk was more than an attention getting little beep as he zoomed around me :shrug:

you wanna be careful with these. In Australian law if you use one like its the real thing and bystanders cant tell if its fake, you can get done as if the grenade was real.

this was important for a few cases where some people held up some stores with a fake pistol. They tried to use the defence that it was fake but it was ruled that if it looks like the real thing and you are acting like it is the real thing, basically it is the real thing.

I would check your state legal code or crimes act before doing this
Yeah I know someone who went to jail for holding up a gas station with a water pistol.
Also, a couple years ago a man, in NYC, was shot nine times (before hitting the ground) because cops thought he had a grenade. turns out he was eating an apple. Moral of the story: Fake grenades is NOT a good idea.

Yesterday, a car that was rolling through a stop sign on a right turn almost hit me. I glared back at them with hatred as I passed by. As he came from behind, he gave me a little honk, and waved apologetically. I waved back, accepting his apology.

Not all honks are bad.
oh man my friends honk at me on the roads when they see me. I always think in my head "ugh who is this ******* behind me?!" and I get real frustrated because I'm used to jerk drivers so when they pull up or I look behind me I always feel bad. And I tell them never to honk at me again. :o

Also, a couple years ago a man, in NYC, was shot nine times (before hitting the ground) because cops thought he had a grenade. turns out he was eating an apple.

I can understand this. If I was a cop and saw some superman eating a grenade, I'd shoot him full of lead as well.

i never tire of retellin' this li'l anecdote. to wit:

dude i know was runnin' (i know it's not bikin') and some fratboy type yelled some ***** about bein' a *** or somethin' in his li'l runnin' shorts. car stops at light, runnerdude climbs up on hood of car, drops li'l runnin' shorts and takes a huge dump on the guys hood and windshield, pulls his shorts up and runs off. it gets better. the fratboy's girlfrind was in the passenger seat and freaked so bad she almost fainted. started screaming and yelling incoherently. bet the fratboy didn't get any that night.

this is a true story.:)

oh god thats gross. nice one.

here's an anecdote i posted that happened to me a few months ago. a lot o' people called me out on it (rightly probably in retrospect). i have matured greatly since then though.:D :)

but still:


just had to share this amusin' li'l anecdote about a confrontation i had this mornin' with a "motorist". i was comin' out of whole foods parkin' lot where i'd picked up my lunch and was headin' to work (this is in newton, ma) and this car came by and brushed my fukcin' leg. there was plenty of room but the car made contact and kept on goin'. so i accelerated and caught 'em a ways down the road. now if it'd been an old lady or somethin' i'd've just let it go, but it was an old fat dude in fancyass lexus or something. so i started pointin' at 'em and gesturing (using all my fingers at this point) and the dude rolls his window down and i say, "hey, how 'bout sharin' the road?". motherfocker responds: "shut the **** up!" i'm my usual mature self and respond: "**** you, you fat bastard". dude takes off from the light and i stay right with him harassin' him and kickin' the side of his whip and generally talkin' **** and he's gettin' all heated up an' **** and gesturin' and i thought he was gonna have a ****in' coronary. i started laughin' and he got even more insane! i swear i thought he was gonna wreck!

anyway, it was fun.

some ****** was leaning out of the backseat of a car to tell me to "get a car *******!" this was during the public transporation strike, so there was traffic jams everywhere. why this guy thinks another car on the road is a good idea is beyond me.

as I was considering, pulling out my water bottle and hosing him in the face, his driver friend had to slam on the brakes for the red light they just sped towards, and the guy in the backseat almost fell out of the car.

:roflmao:
teh greatest is to carry a fake grenade and ride up and pull the pin and throw it in their window

some ****** was leaning out of the backseat of a car to tell me to "get a car *******!" this was during the public transporation strike, so there was traffic jams everywhere. why this guy thinks another car on the road is a good idea is beyond me.

as I was considering, pulling out my water bottle and hosing him in the face, his driver friend had to slam on the brakes for the red light they just sped towards, and the guy in the backseat almost fell out of the car.This is how many of my dreams end, except in my dreams the car explodes in a beautiful blossom of orange fire and my bike grows wings and I fly over a rainbow on which a unicorn with a ktten on its back is dancing and the heavens open and I pedal into the palm of the hand of God accompanied by an angelic choir. So thanks.

This is how many of my dreams end, except in my dreams the car explodes in a beautiful blossom of orange fire and my bike grows wings and I fly over a rainbow on which a unicorn with a ktten on its back is dancing and the heavens open and I pedal into the palm of the hand of God accompanied by an angelic choir. So thanks.

You really should lay off the absinthe....

Enjoy

Oops, I forgot to mention that the angelic choir is singing "Rain King" by Sonic Youth.

If you're like certain members of the BF, you could just launch yourself shoulder first into his windshield, flip over the back and total the guy's car with your body, only to get up and ride off.

This may be stupid too but you know how it is. I've gotten right in front of them at the red light and when it changes green I don't move until the light cycles to yellow and then just as it hits red I go through and wave bye bye. In my town it's mostly frat boys but if it looks like a psycho killer then I go on my way.

yeah, i work in Wellesley Hills and I ride through Newton daily. There's no shortage of duochebags who have no concept of anything outside of their giant cars.


here's an anecdote i posted that happened to me a few months ago. a lot o' people called me out on it (rightly probably in retrospect). i have matured greatly since then though.:D :)

but still:


just had to share this amusin' li'l anecdote about a confrontation i had this mornin' with a "motorist". i was comin' out of whole foods parkin' lot where i'd picked up my lunch and was headin' to work (this is in newton, ma) and this car came by and brushed my fukcin' leg. there was plenty of room but the car made contact and kept on goin'. so i accelerated and caught 'em a ways down the road. now if it'd been an old lady or somethin' i'd've just let it go, but it was an old fat dude in fancyass lexus or something. so i started pointin' at 'em and gesturing (using all my fingers at this point) and the dude rolls his window down and i say, "hey, how 'bout sharin' the road?". motherfocker responds: "shut the **** up!" i'm my usual mature self and respond: "**** you, you fat bastard". dude takes off from the light and i stay right with him harassin' him and kickin' the side of his whip and generally talkin' **** and he's gettin' all heated up an' **** and gesturin' and i thought he was gonna have a ****in' coronary. i started laughin' and he got even more insane! i swear i thought he was gonna wreck!

anyway, it was fun.

Smashing a dude's mirror off with a U-lock is just going to push him/her to be aggressive to all of the cyclists s/he passes in the future...

Woah, I'm in totall agreement with you for once.


Note: many sideview mirrors do come off surprisingly easily. I was riding the bike lane once when a new murano pulled out without looking. I shot for a small hole between the car and traffic and clipped the mirror with my shoulder. It popped off cleanly and shot down the street without a bruise or anything to me.

Another time I got "lightly" doored by an opening taxi door. I got squeezed between the door and an escalade mirror which didn't fold or move at all.

Also, a couple years ago a man, in NYC, was shot nine times (before hitting the ground) because cops thought he had a grenade

Yeah, and then there was Amadou Diallo, shot 41 times for pulling out his wallet. So wallets are out too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amadou_Diallo_(shooting_victim)

Also, a couple years ago a man, in NYC, was shot nine times (before hitting the ground) because cops thought he had a grenade. turns out he was eating an apple.
I can understand this. If I was a cop and saw some superman eating a grenade, I'd shoot him full of lead as well.

The real question is, how many times did they shoot him after he hit the ground?

Also, a couple years ago a man, in NYC, was shot nine times (before hitting the ground) because cops thought he had a grenade. turns out he was eating an apple.


nope

Coming home from our cycle slaughterama after party in richmond with a few friends. We had to cross a bridge to get back into our part of the city. As we are crossing, some ****** bag throws two yeungling*sp* bottles at us. We start yelling and ****, but figure its pointless because there isnt a stoplight for a goodways , so we just ride on. Three lights later, there he is. Some random guy on a moped who saw the whole thing pulls up to the car with us, hits it with his chain lock and procedes to yell at the driver and passengers who threw the bottles. My two friends and i open the rear door and punch, kick, slap, and spit on the passenger who is totally **** faced, and end up drawing the attention of the police. Driver gets arrested for a DUI and we walk away unscathed. Crazy fkn night.

Also, a couple years ago a man, in NYC, was shot nine times (before hitting the ground) because cops thought he had a grenade. turns out he was eating an apple.

nope

And the moral of the story is.....





Police Officers are modern day superheroes

Back to the horn, I do have an airzound and it is quite loud. When I use it drivers think another car is beeping at them. I have started shouting matches between drivers using it.

It's so wrong, but I really want to carry around one of those boating air horns when I ride.
Is that wrong? I've often thought about sewing an airhorn holster onto my messenger bag.

Then I remember I don't have a messenger bag.

But I have dibs on the idea for if I ever get one.

DIBS!

Coming home from our cycle slaughterama after party in richmond with a few friends. We had to cross a bridge to get back into our part of the city. As we are crossing, some ****** bag throws two yeungling*sp* bottles at us. We start yelling and ****, but figure its pointless because there isnt a stoplight for a goodways , so we just ride on. Three lights later, there he is. Some random guy on a moped who saw the whole thing pulls up to the car with us, hits it with his chain lock and procedes to yell at the driver and passengers who threw the bottles. My two friends and i open the rear door and punch, kick, slap, and spit on the passenger who is totally **** faced, and end up drawing the attention of the police. Driver gets arrested for a DUI and we walk away unscathed. Crazy fkn night.


Spit?!?

yes... you know... the saliva in your mouth... only projectile.

If someone gives you crap, just yell 'Thank you!' or 'Have a nice day!', y'know, something totally unexpected (put on your best sarcasm voice though). A confused driver is a lot more fun than an angry one (who can run you down in his car) :)

I did the same thing not too long ago after a guy honked. He had tinted windows, so I couldn't see who it was until it was too late. I feel real bad about flipping off my pastor, his wife, and two teen-aged daughters. :mad: