"The 33"-Road Bike Racing - Jan Caption Contest

With all the talk about Jan and this years Giro, and Tour..... I thought it would be funny to make a caption for this picture... I got this off of Road bike review forum

http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos/2006/apr06/romandie06/romandie060/IMG_0188.jpg

I'll start

Announcer: Collective additon Jan Ulrich bobble head dolls now available! Next month Landis, and Basso!

ya, da Jan is liking dis new strudel and bratwurst flavour gatorade, it makes my jaw so big and strong to grind da puny girly man opposition to pulp....

How many road widows will I make today? How many orphans will cry out as I crush their weak fathers into the pavement. Why is Bjarne Riis looking at me that way?

Many times I have been the saying, "Do not be drying the aero helmet in the drying machine." It is an Air-oh helmet and should Air dried to prevent the squeezing of the Jan's brain organ.

"Drat! And Double Drat!"


http://www.80snostalgia.com/classictv/dastardly/dastardly.jpg

"Drat! And Double Drat!"


http://www.80snostalgia.com/classictv/dastardly/dastardly.jpg

:D.

With Armstrong out of the picture, Ullrich has not heeded warnings to avoid getting a big head before the tour...

"Hmm...looks like Klodie needs another wedgie..."

Seriously, how much longer is he going to suck in his stomach in that picture? Reminds me of "Lance Armstrong's War" during the part where the author describes how an overweight Jan would walk around the team bus with his gut sucked in...

"Okay. Should I crash into the team car before the race? Or should I not crash into the team car before the race? Hm..."

Being on the west coast, I hear lots of comments on barry bonds and steroids making you head larger, has the tour found its next "random test subject" now that armstrong is gone??

"They said to me 'Drink this; it'll put hair on your chest'. And so far, I grow n-o-t-h-i-n-g, but I keep drinking."

I think I'll give Jimmy a ring about a Zeppelin reunion. :p

"This slimfast tastes like schise" (sic) . . .
"Got un Himmel, Georgie has some nice legs. . ."

"Maybe now they'll cast me in the remake of Mask"

I don't know about this new hamster protien drink...

"I'll be ready
Never you fear
I'll be ready
Forever and always
I'm always here.

Forever and always...


...I'm always here."

You know zat Basso he does look good in heees skeeen suit....but not as good as da Jan....yes?

zis helmut ist sqveezing zee curl out of my hair.

"I want my babyback...babyback...babyback ribs"

"Yeah baby, that's right...I see you lookin' at me, I know you like this...yeah that's it, come to Der Jan..."

"Yes, yes, I can hear you just fine, but I still say putting the mic in the bottle was stupid."

With all the talk about Jan and this years Giro, and Tour..... I thought it would be funny to make a caption for this picture... I got this off of Road bike review forum

http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos/2006/apr06/romandie06/romandie060/IMG_0188.jpg

I'll start

Announcer: Collective additon Jan Ulrich bobble head dolls now available! Next month Landis, and Basso!
O K ...now I love Der Jan and feel this will be his year but I couldn't resist...

Der Jan says..." With my head like this there is no room for others on the podium"

O K ...now I love Der Jan and feel this will be his year but I couldn't resist...

Der Jan says..." With my head like this there is no room for others on the podium"


Der Jan also says..." You think my head is large...you should see my bratwurst"

http://bedrock.deadsquid.com/img/other/people/gazoo/gazoo_words2.jpg
Ja, Now that der Jan is having the looking of the Great Gazoo, Der Jan will be able to do more of the crushing of the souls.

http://bedrock.deadsquid.com/img/other/people/gazoo/gazoo_words2.jpg
Ja, Now that der Jan is having the looking of the Great Gazoo, Der Jan will be able to do more of the crushing of the souls.

That's right Dumb Dumbs!

Does Pink make me look fat?