Living Car Free - Trying to Convince the Wife to be Car lite.

Over the last month I been concentrating on become less car dependent.

My wife an I have 2 cars 1 each. In looking at this forum i see alot of folks that are car free and some car lite. Anyway, for the last month I been using my own car to drive to a bike trail and then jump on it to go to work. The car trip is about 10 miles and the bike ride is another 18 miles. If i drive all the way to work it is 32 miles each way so the trail cuts a few miles out.

I then thought about having my wife drop me off at the trail because it is close to her work an then pick me up after work. This is pretty nice. I have done it over the last 2 weeks an things seem pretty good.

When I can not ride into work because of weather, or me being too tired I have been dropping her off at work an then picking her up which also saves on gas.

We have gone from 475 miles a week down to 250 miles a week.

So for the last 2 weeks we have really only been using 1 car. I really like this idea an have been impresse d with how easy it has been.

I am going to keep this up but I also would love to sell 1 of my cars. NOW this is a BIG change for my wife.

I mean everybody in Nebraska has a car since things are spread out. Additionally, we ALL "AMERICANS" for the most part have expectations that every adult should have 1 car each at least. We do not have any kids so that makes things easier but I still have to deal with my wife.

The problem is that I do not know how to approach this with the wife. I just got the Registration bill for my Car License plates an they are another $250.00 which sucks.

Has anybody had any discussions with their spouses on selling their 2nd vehical.

I know her typical response will be what if the car breaks down ? What are going to do ?
How are we going to manage this all ? What if we need a second car ?

I am reluctant to even go there, how about you guys ? Additionally are second car is costing a total of 6500.00 a year on everythign while our 1st car is paid for .

Thanks and any ideas would be great ??


Thanks,

Jay

Example is the best way. Get through a Nebraska winter with your current set up and the wife may be interested.

Selling your car may be fairly easy. Make sure she gets her share of the proceeds. My ex-wife and I spent many years as a one car family. There weren't too many problem spots. Get a AAA card for her. Tow trucks can cure almost anything. For most other situations, things can be worked out.

The worst one for me? I was at the gas station five miles from home late at night and locked the car with the keys in it when I went to pay for gas. I got lucky in that a samaritan heard my plight and drove me home, but I still had to walk back with the spare keys.

Having a good bike rack for the car would be worth the money. Our car, a Mitsubishi Mirage, had beer can thick metal, and trying to put a rack on visibly dimpled the trunk when lashing it on, so we couldn't use it.

Going car-lite or car-free is a gradual process and takes planning. Partly it is dependent on where you live. When it's next time to move, see if your wife and you can agree on a location that makes it easier to get by without a car. I argued for an urban house close to the subway even though my wife would have been just as happy to live 10 miles farther out of town off the freeway. I pointed out I would be home earlier, and have much lower risk of traffic accident, and we could get by with one instead of two cars, and these things would make up for the higher price and smaller lot, and she bought it (and we bought it).

Meanwhile, $6500 can go a long way towards funding transportation alternatives. Do you live somewhere where cabs and car rentals are accessible? If you have a breakdown can you call a cab? If you know ahead of time you will need a car, can you rent?

As for the bike rack...get a trailer hitch, and a hitch rack that swings down or away if you need rear hatch access.

Step by step like Cooker said. You know her better than I do. Would you enjoy it if she cycled with you? Show her your routes on bike rides with her. As you pick up tips from the car-free forum share them with her. Maybe she can meet some other cycling wives and show you some tricks she's learned from them? See what I'm getting at? If cycling becomes a fun family thing even if she rarely does it for her own transportation she'll understand that you can. If you combine a weekend or after work ride with her stopping in to visit friends or family or combine it with her stopping at a favorite store it becomes a fun part of her life. Plus if she needs the exercise she might associate her feeling and looking better with transportational cycling. I'm just laying out some basic behavioural psych here, positive feedback reinforcement associated with biking around. It shouldn't be hard to achieve. The bank statement might be good but isn't as immediate as her associating good times with seeing you biking around.

Don't do like I did when I was married. I chose to just do my own thing about not driving to work and she mis-interpreted it as abandonment. She had a bike but we didn't cycle together and she insisted on driving to her job even though it was closer than mine. We could have walked to her work together then my job was just a mile further. Then when the kid came along everything changed. Sorry for getting personal I just wanted to put a high contrast on my advice.

Example is the best way. Get through a Nebraska winter with your current set up and the wife may be interested.


+1.

I think many of us have benefitted from several years of bike commuting by choice before ridding ourselves of the automobile. It is one thing to ride during the Summer as a lark. A real commitment to continue doing so through the Winter.

Many of us have personal limits, below which, we won't ride. Mine are 28F and dry roads. When the conditions don't suffice I just walk a few blocks and hop on the Metro. What are you going to do when its 0F or colder and the wind is howling up a blizzard? Is your wife going to want to play taxi?

jayuse - the rational part of my brain says to tell you go through the Winter and see how dependent you remain on your 2nd vehicle.

On the other hand ... I think we all are capable of so much more than we realize and, sometimes perhaps, we must move out of our comfort zones before we can transcend to something else.

One stratagem to win your wife's support is this:
Agree that the monthly savings by not having the 2nd car get deposited into a separate bank account. Determine a specific purpose for this money that you both will enjoy - say a nice trip to Hawaii! That will make riding through Winter enjoyable as you contemplate a future day when your toes are lapped by the warm tropical waters.

To convince her that it's possible, negotiate a time frame with her. "If we can leave the second car parked for one month (or six months, or whatever time period she agrees to), we will sell it."

Accentuate the positive. Calculate exactly how much money will actually be saved on a monthly, yearly and five year basis. Talk up all the great things you guys can do with all that money.

Remind her that you're getting to the age when a lot of men have heart attacks. the exercis you get riding will help reduce your risks.

Just honestly tell her that this is something that will make you happy. I'm sure that your hapiness is important to her, so this is something that might sway her.

Car Lite. I like that phrase. My husband and I just did this - we sold both of our cars (one of which wasn't entirely paid off) and bought a new Honda Fit. I can walk to a train station to get to work, and he can bike the 7 miles to work. There are days when our one car just sits because neither of us uses it.

There are sacrifices involved. On rainy days I no longer have the option of driving the 1/4 mile to the train station. My husband gets up early when he rides to work, and I know there are days when he'd rather sleep in. Rainy days when I need the car, I get up early to drop him off at work. Yes, it's going to be difficult when the car goes in the shop but we bought a plan from Honda that gives us a replacement car for any service that's needed.

There are benefits as well - we no longer have a car payment, our insurance and all other costs have gone down too. Maybe this is how you can convince your wife to take the plunge. Put the savings towards something you both want - like a nice vacation or a home improvement or something like that.

And if being Car Lite is too much, there's no reason why you couldn't get a second car in the future. I have this in the back of my mind if it truly becomes inconvenient. But it's been 2 months and I don't miss the second car.

Due to the amount of money involved, along with peak oil gas
prices, unless you're pu$$y whipped, just do it.

Life's to short to deal with heel draggers.

Due to the amount of money involved, along with peak oil gas
prices, unless you're pu$$y whipped, just do it.

Life's to short to deal with heel draggers.

Unless you own a monster SUV or truck, fuel costs are still a relatively minor part of the costs of owning a car. Deprecation is the big one. Then there is insurance and repairs. The big advantage of being car lite is not paying those costs. Having a car and not using it just doesn't save you that much money.

Due to the amount of money involved, along with peak oil gas
prices, unless you're pu$$y whipped, just do it.

Nice. Since when does making a big decision with the wife's consent mean a man's p---- whipped?

Money talks. Stack up some examples of what $6500 per year will do.
-----------------------------------
Rent a nice car while the one you have is repaired, should the engine self destruct. Annually.

Or a brand new car every 3-5 years, paid for with cash.

Trip to Hawaii. Or two. Annually.

Wander around Europe. Annually.

Cruise(s)? Annually.

How many years would the extra funds advance retirement? Retire early, and fit to boot!

Is there someplace she's always wanted to move to?
-----------------------------------
All this talk about financial security and/or lavish entertainment seems to go over well with Wives. Before you know it, it will have been her idea all along...

Ever since it has been warm enough to ride in jeans and a jacket (more than 3 C), I have been riding my bike. Since then, one of our cars has been sitting in the driveway literally forming rust (on the disc brakes). My wife and I are seriously considering - and probably will - sell that car very soon.

Obviously in the summer, it's not a problem because I can ride to work. The winter is what got us worried. However, when we took the time to figure out contigency plans, we realized that it was a possibility. For really bad days in the winter, I can take the bus. The ride is just a short 25 minutes (compared to 15 by bike), and will cost just $1.75. I can ride on any winter day that has dry roads and no dangerous precipitation. She can also drop me off at work on some days, but I would have to walk or bus back.

Take some time and figure out the bus routes and the cost of taking a taxi. Chances are, you'll be able to give up a little convenience in exchange for a LOT of money.

You can always change your mind later and get another car if you want one.

You can always change your mind later and get another car if you want one.

Or a scooter!

Jay:
I just made it through my first Nebraska winter via bicycle. I'm working on my wife too. We have 2 cars, but one is pretty old and just sits in the driveway most of the time, and doesn't cost much to own. Unfortunately I can't seem to convince her to get rid of it. It would be tough for a family here in NE to go completely carless, but I think owning 1 car is entirely doable, especially if no kids. One day the gals will see the light, hopefully.

Money talks. Stack up some examples of what $6500 per year will do.
-----------------------------------
Rent a nice car while the one you have is repaired, should the engine self destruct. Annually.

Or a brand new car every 3-5 years, paid for with cash.

Trip to Hawaii. Or two. Annually.

Wander around Europe. Annually.

Cruise(s)? Annually.

How many years would the extra funds advance retirement? Retire early, and fit to boot!

Is there someplace she's always wanted to move to?
-----------------------------------
All this talk about financial security and/or lavish entertainment seems to go over well with Wives. Before you know it, it will have been her idea all along...


That's me. 2 vacations/year plus our 1 car is new. My bike is nice and so is hers. she doesn't bike to work but telecommutes about 3days/week. That means that our car goes to work 2X per week. Gas, insurance, maintence (i do routine maintence myself) is all inexpensive. We sold our last car before any major service was due.

My wife and I have always been 1 car, so our discussions are a bit different than the OP's. It's more like "Honey, why don't you just get a car?" and I say "I could, but I don't want a car!". I keep stressing that the commute and errands on my bike are pretty much my only exercise, and I need that. If I were to get a 2nd car it would ABSOLUTELY be a waste of money. Either I'd pay for the car and insurance and drive it 4 times a year (total waste of money), or I'd drive it when I really should be riding my bike, wasting money and growing my waistline (wasteline?). at this point in our lives, a 2nd car makes no sense.

Your situation is a bit different though, with a 32mile one-way commute. Mine is only 10miles and I can telecommute if I want to (so can she). But I used to have a job where the commute was 18-20miles one way, and I'd ride that commute 4x per week using transit the 5th (this was before i got the telecommute option job).

If you tried to carpool to your wife's work then ride from there to your work for a while maybe you could leave the 2nd car parked. If you didn't want to ride the bike you could drop her off and take the car to your work. Once you start trying the alternatives you'll see if they work. If they work it'll be pretty clear that the 2nd car is not necessary. It'd be very easy if your home was closer to your work, is moving an option?

Unless you own a monster SUV or truck, fuel costs are still a relatively minor part of the costs of owning a car. Deprecation is the big one. Then there is insurance and repairs. The big advantage of being car lite is not paying those costs. Having a car and not using it just doesn't save you that much money.

Well, if you rarely use a car, you might be satisfied w/ one of very low value. You still pay for maintenance, insurance, registration, taxes and a low depreciation. For me, this works out to perhaps $800-1000 per year (not sure how much depreciation is). If I were driving more, I'd want a nicer car. Depreciation, maintenance, and taxes would be much higher. So, by limiting driving, you save much more than the cost of gas.

By these calculations, going 'junker' saves 80% of the cost of normal car ownership and gives you a safety net in case injury or overuse prevents riding to work, you want to take a trip, pick up some large object, etc. It does require some purchasing savy if you don't already own said junker.

Jayhuse, I say go for it. When my wife and I became a 1 car family for the first time we moved within a mile of work for both of us. I went year round without driving to work during a pretty tough winter here, but again it was only a half mile or so. We moved out of the burbs and into the city when we purchased a second car again. But as soon as we bought our current house in the burbs I'm a mile from work again, so the first thing we did before moving was to sell our second car. My wife looked at it as an inconvinience at first, but once you litterally start saving (putting aside) the money you're not putting into the second car do something fun with it. So for the first couple years we spent a week in Vegas, last October we spent a week in Mexico, and we can't wait to go back. It deffinately makes "suffering" with "only" 1 car worth it

.... For really bad days in the winter, I can take the bus. The ride is just a short 25 minutes (compared to 15 by bike), and will cost just $1.75. I can ride on any winter day that has dry roads and no dangerous precipitation. She can also drop me off at work on some days, but I would have to walk or bus back.
....
A 15 minute bike commute? Dude-- you can stand anything for 15 minutes!!

A 15 minute bike commute? Dude-- you can stand anything for 15 minutes!!

Have you ever been to Canada? In 15 minutes riding at 25km/h in -20 C weather, my eyes freeze open without the proper goggles. But you're right, with adequate protection I CAN ride in pretty much any weather conditions. I just have to figure out where I can park my bike in the winter...

Have you ever been to Canada? In 15 minutes riding at 25km/h in -20 C weather, my eyes freeze open without the proper goggles. But you're right, with adequate protection I CAN ride in pretty much any weather conditions. I just have to figure out where I can park my bike in the winter...
I've been to Canada lots, every province except Labrador, summer and winter. the latitude of your town is less than 50 miles north of the latitude of my town in Michigan. I wonder if -20 temperatures are unusual, and your winter temps are more typically just a few degrees below zero?

Why would you need to park your bike anywhere different in the winter? Bikes are designed to work outdoors in all conditions. When i come out of work in the winter, sometimes my bike is totally covered in 4 or 5 inches of snow and ice. I just bounce it a couple times to shake the white stuff off, and clear the brakes, derailleurs and rims with my gloves. After that, I'm good to go. So far, I've had no major problems in 3 winters of every day commuting. The worst issue is the big snowbanks that make it hard to see traffic at corners. But that's an issue for motorists too, not just me.

Nice. Since when does making a big decision with the wife's consent mean a man's p---- whipped?

What I said was..........
"Due to the amount of money involved, along with peak oil gas
prices, unless you're pu$$y whipped, just do it.

Life's to short to deal with heel draggers. "

if you're gonna throw rocks at me at least quote the ENTIRE post.


The key part you left off was.......
"Life's to short to deal with heel draggers."

Which is EXACTLY what women do when it's not either their idea or they don't want to do it.
It matters not that the idea is correct to them.


My wife and I always discuss major issues. However, when she fails to see the merit.......I do it anyway.
My job is to do what's best for family......even when they don't like it. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I have no problem "Being the bad guy" when my wife is afraid of , or doesn't understand, the choice
we face at the time. "Somebody"......has to decide. I'm not afraid to accept the burden for her.

Does that make me a "male chavinist pig" ?? No, not at all.

Does it mean I love my wife enough to carry her burden at times?? Yes, it does.

Does that make me a "male chavinist pig" ?? No, not at all.

Does it mean I love my wife enough to carry her burden at times?? Yes, it does.
Well, feeling that your wife is not competent to carry her own burdens may make you a bit of a chauvinist. And feeling that you are always right when the two of you disagree makes you seem a bit overbearing and self-righteous. Of cours that's based on your posts, your wife would be the one to ask.

I've been to Canada lots, every province except Labrador, summer and winter. the latitude of your town is less than 50 miles north of the latitude of my town in Michigan. I wonder if -20 temperatures are unusual, and your winter temps are more typically just a few degrees below zero?

Why would you need to park your bike anywhere different in the winter? Bikes are designed to work outdoors in all conditions. When i come out of work in the winter, sometimes my bike is totally covered in 4 or 5 inches of snow and ice. I just bounce it a couple times to shake the white stuff off, and clear the brakes, derailleurs and rims with my gloves. After that, I'm good to go. So far, I've had no major problems in 3 winters of every day commuting. The worst issue is the big snowbanks that make it hard to see traffic at corners. But that's an issue for motorists too, not just me.

I have a bit more of an issue with bad weather because I ride a trike. A thick layer of snow and ice on a large recumbent-style seat would be hard to remove. Besides, I'd prefer if I could expose the components and chain to as little of the elements as possible. Not only that, but the bike racks outside are usually buried in several feet of snow in the winter. I think it would be easier to convince them to open the big shipping bay doors to let me park inside.

Also, you're right, the temps aren't always 20 below. Usually they over between -10 and -5. The snow banks will be tricky though, I can't even see over car hoods.....

I have a bit more of an issue with bad weather because I ride a trike. A thick layer of snow and ice on a large recumbent-style seat would be hard to remove. Besides, I'd prefer if I could expose the components and chain to as little of the elements as possible. Not only that, but the bike racks outside are usually buried in several feet of snow in the winter. I think it would be easier to convince them to open the big shipping bay doors to let me park inside.

Also, you're right, the temps aren't always 20 below. Usually they over between -10 and -5. The snow banks will be tricky though, I can't even see over car hoods.....
You might want to consider a mountain bike for winter use, preferably with a set of studded tires. And is it really hard to clean the seat of a recumbent, compared with scraping ice and brushing snow off a car? How about digging a car out of snow banks left by the road plows? At least you can just pull your bike out of a snowbank, as long as you can find the handlebars!

Sorry, dude. After my good experiences of riding in the winter, I'm pretty convinced that bikes are the way to go. I might feel diferent if I had a 40 mile round trip every day. Or not.

Does that make me a "male chavinist pig" ?? No, not at all.

The fact that you used the term at all makes you a male chauvinist pig. No one else would ever use it.

And the fact that you said "women are heel draggers". Way to put an entire gender in one category. I know plenty of women that can make a decision in a timely manner.

And the fact that you said "women are heel draggers". Way to put an entire gender in one category. I know plenty of women that can make a decision in a timely manner.

While you may know plenty of women who can make decisions (many are good ones BTW) not all
will do so. ( just as with men) The not so pretty fact is that more often than not women will
hold a decision (heel dragging) at bay for as long as they can for some really strange reasons.
No family can function effectively when this happens.

That's where the partner should make the hard call to go or no go on the choice at hand. Then..do it.

However, since when did you ever listen to counsel not your own???

And the fact that you said "women are heel draggers". Way to put an entire gender in one category. I know plenty of women that can make a decision in a timely manner.

While you may know plenty of women who can make decisions (many are good ones BTW) not all
will do so. (just as with men) The not so pretty fact is that more often than not women will
hold a decision (heel dragging) at bay for as long as they can for some really strange reasons.
No family can function effectively when this happens.

That's where the partner should make the hard call to go or no go on the choice at hand. Then..do it.

However, since when did you ever listen to counsel not your own???

While you may know plenty of women who can make decisions (many are good ones BTW) not all
will do so. (just as with men) The not so pretty fact is that more often than not women will
hold a decision (heel dragging) at bay for as long as they can for some really strange reasons.
No family can function effectively when this happens.

That's where the partner should make the hard call to go or no go on the choice at hand. Then..do it.

However, since when did you ever listen to counsel not your own???

Still generalizing about women, I see. Doesn't matter that many men also heel drag, clearly you think this is unique to women and also common to women.

I'm done. You will no doubt feel the need to reply again, so go ahead and get the last word if you need to.

Sorry to the OP for hijacking the thread - good luck convincing your wife to let go of a car and give Car-Lite a go. I'm sure with the right approach, she can be persuaded. I just can't help trying to correct misconceptions about women, even when I know the person with the misconceptions will never be convinced otherwise. No, I really don't enjoy beating my head against a wall. :)

You might want to consider a mountain bike for winter use, preferably with a set of studded tires. And is it really hard to clean the seat of a recumbent, compared with scraping ice and brushing snow off a car? How about digging a car out of snow banks left by the road plows? At least you can just pull your bike out of a snowbank, as long as you can find the handlebars!

Sorry, dude. After my good experiences of riding in the winter, I'm pretty convinced that bikes are the way to go. I might feel diferent if I had a 40 mile round trip every day. Or not.

I've been considering getting a cheap mountain bike for winter use, but I really prefer riding the trike. I would definitely put a studded tire on the rear wheel. However, I've just never felt 100% stable on any 2-wheel bike; I've never felt "connected" to it enough to make the sharp turns and quick dodges that many people can.For that reason, I'm not sure if it would be the wisest choice in the winter, when I'll have to contend with black ice, slush and who knows what else.

Well, I guess we'll see. I will make an effort to ride as much as I can, and most of the rides will hopefully be on the trike. If it feels too dangerous then I might switch to the MTB.