Fifty Plus (50+) - Trapped with smoker -- gasp!

I'm sitting here at the office, just got in from the airport, and my clothes reek of smoke. But at least I'm out. I just spent four days with my mom, a member of The Greatest Generation but also The Chesterfield Generation. At 80, she has been an unrepentant chainsmoker for 65 years. She lives in a heavily upholstered, draped and carpeted house. Her ceilings are tobacco stained. I spent most of my time out on the sun porch. At night I put damp towels over the A/C outlet and opened the window as wide as possible. I love my mom, but visitng her is like going into a gas chamber.

I got up every morning at dawn and rode my bike 25 miles. It was fabulous. I cleared out my lungs, and just breathed! I know that helped.

My purse smells like smoke. I'm going to have to put my suitcase outside for a few days.

Anybody else deal with this kind of thing, at least occasionally?

I came from a pretty smoke free heritage, although my father used to smoke a pipe when I was a youngster and then he simply quit.

So, of course, I started smoking at 17 or 18, smoked heavily for seventeen years, and then quit. Thirteen years later, picked up the habit again as a "I'll do whatever I want!" thing after my divorce. Four years later, I quit again for the last time, on New Year's Eve at midnight. Quitting smoking is in my top ten lifetime achievements. And even now, several years later, I still have an urge now and then. Nothing that a little diversion can't handle and it's soon forgotten.

So, I can empathise for your situation. It's TOUGH to be in a smoky environment! I like going to Vegas now and then, maybe once every year or two, but the casinos are so smoky I can hardly stand it!

Obviously, your mom ain't gonna quit. So it sounds like you just have to grit your teeth, get outside as much as possible, and enjoy your visit with her, despite the smoke. She's about the same age as my folks.

Good thing is you got those nice 25 milers in. Yea, fresh air!!!

I'm rambling. Can't ride until the Cable Guy comes to fix something.

Not much of a direct response to your post, huh. ;)

My 70 year old Aunt Mary complains that no one will come visit her because her home smells so bad due to her smoking. My mother and one of her two sons will go to her apartment. Everyone else insists on being outside if they have to be with her. Thank goodness I am 600 miles away and don't have to put up with it. I love her to death, but just can't stand the stink.

Rambling's good, Digital Gee. The funniest thing was, my mom told my sister and me she's a "fresh air fiend." We fell out laughing. But not in front of her. She had surgery once and couldn't smoke for about two months. I thought, this is it! She's quitting. Nah.

I can relate very well. My brother, sister-in-law, nephew, niece, and brother-in-law all smoke. When we have a family event,especially indoors, I smell like I have been to a bar. I have stayed with both families after major surgeries, and am grateful for this, but was glad to get home to fresh air.

Do you notice how long and rhythimic your breathing is after a good workout. Then notice how short and shallow your breathing becomes when breathing in second hand smoke.

Yes!

Hey Olebiker, your Aunt Mary and my mom ought to get together! Maybe compare lighters or something.

Did you know that the "Great Smokies" are actually in Indiana? My mother, both my sisters, my sister's husband and all of their kids all live in a wonderful small Indiana town--and they all smoke like factories. I'm really looking forward visiting them next month, but I'm not looking forward to the endless clouds of smoke.

Fortunately, I'll be on The Rural Ride in Indiana. (www.triri.org. Check out the web site. It's a great ride if anyone is looking for something to do that week) The ride that has a two-day stop in their town of Angola. Seems like I have a chance to have the best of both worlds.

I think I have a sad but true story to tell you that most will find hard to believe. My dear brother, who is four years my junior at 63 years old has had the following surgeries, all within the last year.
Triple heart bypass
Left carotid reamed out
Right carotid reamed out
Arteries in both legs reamed out because of arterial disease
Stents placed in both kidneys
Has colon cancer and presently on a six months regimen of chemotherapy

HE IS STILL SMOKING!!! YES, visiting him has always been a chore because of the stench in his house. Point to ponder......the only difference between cigarettes, cocaine, heroin, and all other addictive drugs is that cigarettes are legal. My my, what a terrible addiction.

I think I have a sad but true story to tell you that most will find hard to believe. My dear brother, who is four years my junior at 63 years old has had the following surgeries, all within the last year.
Triple heart bypass
Left carotid reamed out
Right carotid reamed out
Arteries in both legs reamed out because of arterial disease
Stents placed in both kidneys
Has colon cancer and presently on a six months regimen of chemotherapy

HE IS STILL SMOKING!!! YES, visiting him has always been a chore because of the stench in his house. Point to ponder......the only difference between cigarettes, cocaine, heroin, and all other addictive drugs is that cigarettes are legal. My my, what a terrible addiction.

I think I have a sad but true story to tell you that most will find hard to believe. My dear brother, who is four years my junior at 63 years old has had the following surgeries, all within the last year.
Triple heart bypass
Left carotid reamed out
Right carotid reamed out
Arteries in both legs reamed out because of arterial disease
Stents placed in both kidneys
Has colon cancer and presently on a six months regimen of chemotherapy

HE IS STILL SMOKING!!! YES, visiting him has always been a chore because of the stench in his house. Point to ponder......the only difference between cigarettes, cocaine, heroin, and all other addictive drugs is that cigarettes are legal. My my, what a terrible addiction.

Sorry about the duplication

HWY 40 Blue: Yeah is stinks being trapped with a smoker. On the other hand... REJOICE... you must come from a genetic pool that's pretty tough... 80 years old and smoking for 65 years. Wow, sounds indestructible.

I marvel that she's hanging in there.

smokers either don't realize the inconvience they cause to others or they just don't care regardless of the addiction to the nicotine.
there can be 5- 10 people in a crowd and always someone will light up that smoke as if it would not bother other people.

I have not smoked for 27 years and do not miss it @ all.

My mother quit at age 78 while in the hospital with pneumonia, pleuresy and other lung crud. She smoked through other surgeries but got the big scare and stopped. She is now 84. I quit 20 years ago and am now allergic to it. If I breath a little tobacco smoke I get bad headaches and fluid in my lungs. A lot of it and my sinuses close up and my eyes swell shut, as well as nausea. Sometimes on the bike I get close to a car at a light and I can feel it right away if there's a smoker in the car. In my work I get in people's cars, I'm a mechanic, and some of them make me sick.

My youngest son (31) runs a drive-thru beverage store. He tells of one customer who drives in hooked up to an oxygen tank. The oxygen sits on the passenger seat, the hoses go up the guy's nose...he can barely talk, but he orders his weekly supply of unfiltered cigaretts. The cigaretts go right next to the oxygen on the front seat...and off he goes. Sad but true.

I'm an ex-smoker, stopped years ago when I realized it was badly cutting into my climbing ability, and I was so thoroughly addicted I could not cut down my smoking.

But am I the only one here who doesn't mind, in fact still enjoys a whiff of tobacco smoke. And if I could be confident I could limit my smoking to just 2-3 cigarettes, or 1 cigar per day, I would go back. I really liked it, and I'm certainly willing to do things that are potentially health damaging but pleasurable... like ride downhill.

Hey Hwy,

You said. . .

>>> At night I put damp towels over the A/C outlet

What's that maneuver for?

You are describing my 86 year old father, has smoked since he was 17 without ever quitting other than when he was in the hospital. When I visit I leave my suitcase and clothes out in the garage otherwise my wife has to decontaminate everything. My lungs are reeling by the time I get out of there, I have to get out for a run a day to clear them out.

I work in a noisey environment. When we talk to each other, we have to get pretty close in order to hear. You can always tell when someone just had a smoke. Boy, does their breath stink!

I smoked for many years and never realized how bad I smelled until I quit.

I smoked for many years and never realized how bad I smelled until I quit.

+! :(

Since I have been a dues-paying member of Americans for Nonsmokers' Rights since they were founded as Californians for Nonsmokers' Rights, you can probably guess where I stand on this issue. I cringe when I recall the dark ages, in which workplace smoking was permitted, and I dread traveling to certain states and countries.

Kissing a smoker is like licking a full ashtray!
But remember, it's good for your "T"-zone!

I have a severe allergic reaction to cigarette smoke, including second hand smoke. It is so severe that I was turned down for military service......at the height of the Vietnam conflict. I was rejected at the sign in desk and never took the physical. My bride to be had a choice, cigarettes or me. She said it was a tough choice, but the price of cigarettes was getting ridiculous and she wanted to see how she looked in white.

Coyote, the damp towel maneuver is to block smoky air from blowing into my bedroom from the vent -- she is out there in another part of the house, smoking up a storm, and the air conditioning is circulating. You can smell it coming in through the vent.

My mom was a life-long smoker, but I don't smoke, and neither do my brother or sister.

My mother sent a strong message to us during our teenage years about smoking. Her horrendous coughing and hacking certainly took the glamour out of smoking for us.

Now days, with what is known, I don't see how anyone under 40 could be stupid enough to have started in the first place.

Yes, unfortunately. My mother reached the point she wouldn't come stay at our house because we didn't allow smoking inside the house with little kids. (Some years back). She smoked until they put her on oxygen for congestive heart failure four years ago. She is now 80.

It is amazing behavior, considering my father died of lung cancer 30 years ago. Watching someone you love die of lung cancer and emphysema is enough to make anyone quit. I was 17 at the time. I never even tried cigarettes, even when in the service.

I'm sitting here at the office, just got in from the airport, and my clothes reek of smoke. But at least I'm out. I just spent four days with my mom, a member of The Greatest Generation but also The Chesterfield Generation. At 80, she has been an unrepentant chainsmoker for 65 years.

My purse smells like smoke. I'm going to have to put my suitcase outside for a few days.

Anybody else deal with this kind of thing, at least occasionally?

My father died slowly from lung cancer, very slowly and I was there.
My mother died slowly from Emphysema, also very slowly and I was not there.
I hate smoking with a passion.
Now, we have a son who smokes and my wife has friends who smoke. I dig in and forbid smoking in my house and stay in motels when we visit. Yes, I pay a social price for that but this is something I am not willing to tolerate.
I know of the argument that some smokers live to a ripe old age. But, the statistics are beyond discussion-------and---------the stuff STINKS.
:eek:

But am I the only one here who doesn't mind, in fact still enjoys a whiff of tobacco smoke. And if I could be confident I could limit my smoking to just 2-3 cigarettes, or 1 cigar per day, I would go back. I really liked it, and I'm certainly willing to do things that are potentially health damaging but pleasurable... like ride downhill.


backinthesaddle,

What? Do I detect tolerance here??? What the sam hill is wrong with you? ;)

I've only been off the things for a little over a year, but yes I too enjoy a wiff of tobacco smoke. I don't crave a smoke but if I could just smoke a couple a day... yeah.

Hey 'bits', did you hear there is a town that is banning those dangerous 2 wheeled pedal powered dohickys? It seems the inconsiderate operators are using them to damage the inside of driver's side car doors! The health risks are terrible- possible aids from the blood...

Just kidding people.

But please reread your posts. I hope most of you don't have concealed carry permits! That would scare me more than cancer.

Bob

backinthesaddle,

What? Do I detect tolerance here??? What the sam hill is wrong with you? ;)

But please reread your posts. I hope most of you don't have concealed carry permits! That would scare me more than cancer.

Bob

Tolerance for what?

Smoke smell in my nose, even outside sitting in a park?

Colorado's total ban against smoking (except for casinos, tobacco shops - money talks) goes into effect July 1st.

I am glad I don't "carry," or even my gun would be smoking!

Question:

Should it be considered "child abuse" if parents/adults smoke in a closed car or a home while their children are present?

Sounds like my parents, down to the heavily draped, heavily carpeted, heavily upholstered house.

Once I went away to college and discovered what it's like to breathe and not smell like an ashtray, I pretty much stopped going home. If I did, I stayed in a hotel or stayed with local friends of the family (non-smoking). Met them for dinner at restaurants (no smoking allowed). Did a lot of mall walking with them (no smoking).

As it turns out, I live with someone who is a smoker. She's not allowed to smoke in the house, not allowed to smoke at work, and not allowed to smoke in her car (part of her lease agreement). All the restaurants here in CT are non-smoking, as are the malls and anywhere else she's likely to go. We have one set of friends who are heavy smokers -- I won't go to their house (although they can come here). Right now my SO is outside in the pouring rain (and I mean *POURING*) having herself a cigarette.

Re-reading this thread made me think of a book written by William Glasser called Positive Addiction. His basic premise was that people are better adjusted and healthier when the get rid of the negative addictions in their life (e.g., smoking, drugs, booze, etc.) and turn to things that are actually good for them. He highly valued exercise as one of the best positive addictions. As I think about it, I'm probably a person with an addictive personality. I've had to deal with all of the examples I listed above, and now I seem to be addicted to cycling. Just a ramble on my part, but it makes me wonder how many here at the 50+ have this positive addiction and how many can take it or leave it.

backinthesaddle,

What? Do I detect tolerance here??? What the sam hill is wrong with you? ;)


But please reread your posts. I hope most of you don't have concealed carry permits! That would scare me more than cancer.


Not to leap on tvme, but having spent months with someone dying of smoking-induced lung cancer that metastisized everywhere.............there are few places more grim than an oncology ward, and holding someone dear to you as they lay dying is enough to sweep away those trivial sensitivities about your natural rights to be an idiot or, worse, to selfishly endanger others.

Not to leap on tvme, but having spent months with someone dying of smoking-induced lung cancer that metastisized everywhere.............there are few places more grim than an oncology ward, and holding someone dear to you as they lay dying is enough to sweep away those trivial sensitivities about your natural rights to be an idiot or, worse, to selfishly endanger others.+1

Re-reading this thread made me think of a book written by William Glasser called Positive Addiction. His basic premise was that people are better adjusted and healthier when the get rid of the negative addictions in their life (e.g., smoking, drugs, booze, etc.) and turn to things that are actually good for them. He highly valued exercise as one of the best positive addictions. As I think about it, I'm probably a person with an addictive personality. I've had to deal with all of the examples I listed above, and now I seem to be addicted to cycling. Just a ramble on my part, but it makes me wonder how many here at the 50+ have this positive addiction and how many can take it or leave it.

I read this book and follow it's principle. I definitely have a compulsive streak and I am now directing that to things like long distance biking, computer chess, exercise, reading.
I wish that the message of this book would be studied by people with self-destructive compulsions.

busted! Guilty as charged! :D

Hey I used to be a member of the ACLU until they turned intolerant (will I get slammed for this remark too?) :)

One more thing, I really enjoy the atmosphere of a Las Vegas casino, even though I neither smoke, drink, nor gamble. Go figure.