Commuting - Condescending things people say

Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver? :mad:

I've started replying "You too." :D

Yea, I make fun of my friends who say that to me. I get it all the time and always try to think of something smart to say back.

Sounds like you're reading too much into it. He might just be hopeing you "have a safe ride home". Don't go looking for a fight where one may not exist.

Sounds like you're reading too much into it. He might just be hopeing you "have a safe ride home". Don't go looking for a fight where one may not exist.

+1

My manger says the same thing. She tends to be a confrontational and somewhat sarcastic person. At first I thought she was being her "typical" self, but I later found through a co-manager she is being sincere. After all we ae short staffed as it is and my boss really does'nt want anything to happent to her employees.

Craig

Yeah, being insulted when you're aware that the intent to insult you isn't present just seems a bit, juvenile, or something.

Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver? :mad:

I've started replying "You too." :D


Respond with "Drive Friendly."

There's a guy that always comments on us "idiots" when we leave on our bicycles at night to ride home. He also tells me how dangerous motorcycles are on a regular basis. (I've been riding them 30 years and raced professionally for 5. I think I know how dangerous they are) I mean, the first 200 times I simply ignored it, but after that it starts getting a little old.

The really ironic thing about it is that he just had a stent put in his heart, and is on all kinds of medication and a very strict diet. Last time he said something, I just told him that he's free to live in fear of everything and die in his recliner and I'm free to enjoy myself and go out with a smile if that's the way it works out.

Az

My boss says it to me all the time. Then again, she's a woman and I did get run over on my way into work a couple years ago. I had to call her from the ER and tell her I wasn't coming in to work that day.

Is your manager a woman? It sounds like a very motherly thing some women can say. My mother tells me to drive, ride, walk, run...whatever safe all the time. I wouldn't take offense to it if I were you.

Respond with "Drive Friendly."

lol...i like that one.

I usually respond with "I always do". I've never taken offense to it, kind of like how you tell a friend who is leaving on a car trip to "drive safe".

A standard reply: "Haven't been killed yet." That, or something about how great the ride home is going to be (with a big smile). Lately people have been saying, "enjoy the ride home."

Actually had a co-worker ask me about starting to ride to work today!! This guy needs to do it. He's a walking cardiovascular risk factor.

Some people think what you are doing is a little dangerous. The other day a coworker remarked to me, "You were riding on the road." I just said yea. She didn't say anything more, but I figured she meant, "WTF, you're going to get killed riding in traffic. Didn't your mother teach you better than that!"

It takes time and experience to feel comfortable with riding on the road. I know that from my own experience.

Hey, maybe they're right. I don't know. The set of risks accepted by choosing to commute by bicycle versus car are different. I don't know which is greater. My view in the final analysis is that bicycle commuting is more healthy when you consider the exercise and resulting cardiovascular improvement. After age 30, heart disease kills more of us than traffic accidents of any kind.

Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver? :mad:

I've started replying "You too." :D
I started a very related thread a couple months or so ago:

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=189017

Al

A conversation with motorist near the end of my commute in the middle of a very busy traffic area (fast 40mph NOLs). I was stopped left biased in rightmost lane to let right turners pass.

A guy in a truck moves up next to me and says:
"Man, your brave driving in traffic"
Me: "We all are"
Guy: "Sshh, tell me about it ...ha" and completes his turn.

Here is the mp3 of the exchange (http://www.optionnz.com/users/afs/drivingintraffic2.mp3)

Now this wasn't condesending at all, but I like how I turned it around and got agreement that all drivers are 'brave' (I normally wouldn't use the word brave normally to describe driving in traffic, vigillant instead)

Al

Last night in Central Park I had a copy tell me (while I was trying to fix a flat) that more people are killed in Central Park by bikes than by cars. I didn't have any snappy comebacks, but later it occurred to me that

1) cars don't belong there anyway so the number killed by them shoudl be zero

2) most near accidents I've had in Central Park by riding have been due to IDIOTIC peds with an apparent deathwish or perhaps blissful obliviousness.

Ahem. I also get annoyed when told to "ride safe" and whatnot. What, I'm going to ride in an unsafe manner? What gave them that idea? I admit, though, I say the same thing to my better half sometimes when she bike commutes so call me a hypocrite. :D

I find keeping a Winchester in the backpack scabbard cuts down on lippy comments :D

The times I've heard that, often as not, it's just someone's way of being friendly. By riding a bike to work, you stand out, and in a way some people who have the desire to take responsibility for themselves, but not the ambition or courage, admire your effort and want to be your buddy. The way to tell these ones from the rest is to ask if they have a bike. If they answer, "Yes, I should ride it more", or "I've been thinking about it", or in some way hint at a concern for their own fitness, the hook is set. All it takes is an occasional polite inquiry or reminder to get that person started.


Or maybe they're just lonely. Caveat emptor.

A conversation with motorist near the end of my commute in the middle of a very busy traffic area (fast 40mph NOLs). I was stopped left biased in rightmost lane to let right turners pass.

Here is the mp3 of the exchange (http://www.optionnz.com/users/afs/drivingintraffic2.mp3)

Al

do you always ride with a microphone? That's uncanny.

The way I ride.. my coworkers mean it when they say "ride safe", which is often preceeded with "for the love of god."

When I drove a car regularly people would often say the same thing. So maybe you're being overly sensative about it. But then, it's the speaker's tone that shows condescention and not the words, so I can't be sure. I also hear that alot when riding too. I just figure people are genuinely concerned about me. That's not a really bad thing. What throws me is that I can't figure out why.

It always sounds hypocritical when a car driver says be careful. They are the ones doing the killing.
But the comment to the OP, I wouldn't read too much into it.

It's just "mind over matter".... if you don't mind, it don't matter.... some things in life just arn't woth sweating.

Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver? :mad:

I've started replying "You too." :D

It's way better than go-to-hell (and don't come back)

To clarify: I don't take offense. But he says it almost every night, so it's getting to be like water dripping. And he does tend to be a little paternalistic in other ways, too, so that's probably a contributing factor. The reason it bugs me, I think, is the implication that what I'm doing is so much less safe than, say, driving, hence my "you, too".

The "drive friendly" comeback is nice, but probably not applicable, because he already does. He's actually really a nice guy, it's just this slight paternalistic streak... :)

But I didn't mean for this thread to be all about me - what else do you hear that bugs YOU?

I tell the people who work for me, and drive, to have a safe drive home. My intention is to have everyone come back in the morning. I did not realise I was being " condescending."

When I drove a car regularly people would often say the same thing. So maybe you're being overly sensative about it. But then, it's the speaker's tone that shows condescention and not the words, so I can't be sure. I also hear that alot when riding too. I just figure people are genuinely concerned about me. That's not a really bad thing. What throws me is that I can't figure out why.

Perhaps they like you. Perhaps you are surrounded by genuinely nice people. If so, revel in it, and say, thank you, I will.

Well, bhchdh, he only says it to me.

The way I ride.. my coworkers mean it when they say "ride safe", which is often preceeded with "for the love of god."

I've seen you ride in light traffic... it boggles the mind to think of heavy traffic. Your co-workers know you well, it appears. :D

do you always ride with a microphone? That's uncanny.
I too am impressed.

To clarify: I don't take offense. But he says it almost every night, so it's getting to be like water dripping. And he does tend to be a little paternalistic in other ways, too, so that's probably a contributing factor. The reason it bugs me, I think, is the implication that what I'm doing is so much less safe than, say, driving, hence my "you, too".

The "drive friendly" comeback is nice, but probably not applicable, because he already does. He's actually really a nice guy, it's just this slight paternalistic streak... :)

But I didn't mean for this thread to be all about me - what else do you hear that bugs YOU?

Wow, some really nice guy who sincerely wishes you well...and that pisses you off.

You're weird.

The way I ride.. my coworkers mean it when they say "ride safe", which is often preceeded with "for the love of god."

:p they know you're riding habit ay? :lol: so I'll join 'em

Slvoid Ride Safe - For the Love of God

I have a very Catholic coworker who was worried about me and praying for my safety. Thanks to the information from another thread, I was able to steer her in the praying direction of Our Lady of Ghisallo. It never hurts to be precise.

Your boss rocks. Alot of bosses just don't give a rip...as long as you're mak'n money for the company. And even in the software biz now days...bosses are too busy trying to export the job to notice much - well they should be notic'n that their own hide is next ---> but then that's a foo topic ;)

people are genuinely concerned about me [snip] What throws me is that I can't figure out why.

will . . . act my age. . . will . . . not . . . try to be funny . . .

here in canada people say 'take care' about 12 times a day. same kind of principle, i guess, but i think your boss' habit would start bugging me too. maybe it's just a verbal tic of the kind that can sometimes be addressed by saying 'listen, could you do me a favour ' (pleasantly) if a nice occasion presents.

i don't usually attract enough interest to get patronised. but i admit i'm still kind of irked from last week's encounter with the fellow baseball mom at the supermarket. i think my bike and i can get 1.5kg of corn pops home by ourselves without aid from an suv.

i think my bike and i can get 1.5kg of corn pops home by ourselves without aid from an suv.:roflmao: You tried not to be funny? Man, you failed BADLY! :D

but i admit i'm still kind of irked from last week's encounter with the fellow baseball mom at the supermarket. i think my bike and i can get 1.5kg of corn pops home by ourselves without aid from an suv.

Relax...she probably thought you were a roadie!


OP, my boss, mom, dad, etc. always tell me to drive, or ride, safely. I tell my clients and friends to drive safe. I think it doesn't show distrust or condescension, but rather concern and caring. I would just say "Thanks, I will. Drive carefully! See you tomorrow."

I got “Well, you have more energy than me!” from a couple of people. Thing is it doesn’t sound like a complement when they say it. It’s like “I have a more tiring life so I can’t do that”.

Last time someone said that I answered with “I don’t ride bike because I have more energy. I have more energy because I ride bike.” That made her think, then in the evening this same person said “Be CAREFUL out there!” She knows that my commute is a small safe rural road.

I really think that they need a rationalization about why they do not exercise. They are not saying this stuff for me but for themselves.

I got “Well, you have more energy than me!” from a couple of people. Thing is it doesn’t sound like a complement when they say it. It’s like “I have a more tiring life so I can’t do that”.

Try working in the financial sector in NYC and you'll get that attitude. I got a bad vibe along the lines of maybe I'm not serious enough if I ride my bike to work. Boo!

I generally respond "have a safe drive home"
One woman said it every time she saw me in gear heading out, so finally one day when she said it on the stairs, I said "be careful on those stairs; walking on stairs is 4 times more dangerous than riding a bike in traffic." She still says "have a good night" or "good ride home" but she doesn't say "safe" any more.

My boss tells me to be careful all the time. Of course he took me to the ER once when I piled up my motorcycle! Hmmm, he also saw the road-rash when I fell on the roadie, and the back brace when I flipped the dirt-bike (I've worked here a long time) Maybe I should be careful!!! Anytime someone says be careful to me I just say thanks and ride on. The way I look at it, the more positive vibes the better!

Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver? :mad:

I've started replying "You too." :D
May your life wither away from you 20 years before your time for fretting about this.

I've never really thought of this stuff untill now, but the people at work all say "have a GOOD ride home" I guess that's because most of them are ridders as well. Just depends on your perspective I guess.

The only thing that comes to mind happened at a company lunch at a nice italian joint.
I was sitting at a table of 6. One female coworker looked at me and asked someting along the lines of "are you ever going to stop riding a bike". As in "grow up and by a car".
I was so taken aback that all I could respond with was "I know 80 year olds who bike. So, no"
Another lady I work with is an avid cyclist and tri athlete. She took care of the first coworker and ripped her a new on. Too bad I can't remember what she said.

But I didn't mean for this thread to be all about me - what else do you hear that bugs YOU?

Oh that. Okay, it's not something that is said. What gets me is the "WTF" hand and arm gesture. Fore arms bent out to the sides and palms up flat like they are balancing trays. And their eye brows go up, can't forget that part. It's like they are saying "You can't ride on the road you crazy fool". I'll give them the crazy fool part, but the fact that I am currently riding in the road disproves their original thesis. But they will continue with the pose like it was some great undefeatable argument. It makes we want to ride over and beat the crap out of them with some sort of 18th century agricultural implement. It's gota be a an old rusty farm tool, nothing else will do. It's a real catch-22 because there aren't many lying around in a handy accessible sort of way. I can handle getting flipped with the bird, but that WFT thing... Hey, maybe I'll just stop, pull out my camera, take their picture, ride off and let them figure it out. Yeah, maybe that. I don't know, I gotta come up with something.

And even in the software biz now days...bosses are too busy trying to export the job to notice much - well they should be notic'n that their own hide is next ---> but then that's a foo topic ;)

Err how prophetic of me...our merger occurred this mornning 5AM...

I've recently been called cheap for riding my bicycle instead of driving. But I have been called worse

One thing that has made my life a lot more enjoyable is to choose to take what most people say in the best way possible. After all, it isn't pleasant for me to be upset - and it isn't pleasant for them either. I will also feel like a total fool if they weren't meaning anything by it.

Face it - people rarely are thinking of you. They don't understand cycling - they think for sure you are running the gauntlet on the way home. (and maybe you are!). They feel safe inside that huge SUV - up until the time it rolls over of course.

If the person is a bit, shall we say, chubby - you might point out that the lack of excercise is the really dangerous thing. One kind remark deserves another...

Wow, you'd make fun of someone overweight because they wished you a safe ride home? I think alot of you guys are looking for an insult when one isnt present. Even if there is one, who cares?

I never understood people that get bothered by the small stuff. Its much easier not to worry about what "they" say than you might think.

So glad I'm a teacher. All my coworkers are humanitarian types and would support and appreciate such choices. I am, however, concerned about what my 7th and 8th grade students would say if I started riding to work in bike shorts. I'll just have to try to keep grease off of my slacks if I get to star commuting next year (I hope).

In the past I've responded with, "Thanks, look out for me!". My thought is that the recipient of my comment might be more cautious with the next bicyclist (s)he encounters, thinking it might be me, a person of acquaintance. Can't hurt, right?

In the past I've responded with, "Thanks, look out for me!". My thought is that the recipient of my comment might be more cautious with the next bicyclist (s)he encounters, thinking it might be me, a person of acquaintance. Can't hurt, right?Great point! I'll do that next time.