Commuting - How to convince my daughter to start bike commuting

My 19 year old daughter's car is currently dead, but that's OK because her driver's license is currently suspended, too. :eek:

There are plenty of retail/food service jobs within 3-5 miles of the house and I've offered to loan her a bike for the commute, but she's not taking me up on my offer.

Suggestions?

Tell her it beats walking? http://forums.stangnet.com/images/smilies/dunno.gif

Sounds like she must not need a job. Or knows that she'll get bailed out of whatever financial worries come along.

I wouldn't consider it if I was 19. The only reason I am is because I have the job I want. I am engaged. I know how much cars suck. I will be a millionaire by 50.

Let her walk the trip a few times in the heat and then offer the bike again.

Paul

Mostly she just calls her friends for rides when we refuse to drive her. I know she missed her first day at the new job (18+ miles from the house) because she couldn't find a ride.

Mostly she just calls her friends for rides when we refuse to drive her. I know she missed her first day at the new job (18+ miles from the house) because she couldn't find a ride.
This is one of those things that she needs to discover on her own. Encouragement to ride could actually be detrimental. Just let her figure out things for herself and don't jump in when she screws herself over a few times (e.g. losing new job). It's better to learn that stuff now than later.

So, she's not in school, her license is suspended and she would rather miss work than take a bus? Yeah, she won't be commuting anytime soon. I'd tell her she had 12 months to get her shizzle together, then she's on her own. Not my kid, not my call, just my opinion.

How to convince my daughter to start bike commuting:


My 19 year old daughter is currently dead :eek:

Man, I've got to slow down when I am reading these...

From my experience, it was the freedom of not having to ask around to get lifts that was the reason I rode everywhere. 18 miles is a bit much so I can see why you're suggesting a closer job. Maybe appeal to her vanity - point out fat chicks who should be exercising more ;) "You should start riding now so you don't end up looking like that..."

When you do give her a lift, insist that it has to be more than one reason for the trip - go shopping and then drop her off (so that she has to wait for you to do stuff before she can get to work - which means she has to leave earlier and so she might as well ride.)

How did she get her licence suspended at 19? Oh wait, I forgot you can get licences earlier - I got mine in South Africa - 18 only. But still, she had it for 3 years max before it got suspended?

This is one of those things that she needs to discover on her own. Encouragement to ride could actually be detrimental. Just let her figure out things for herself and don't jump in when she screws herself over a few times (e.g. losing new job). It's better to learn that stuff now than later.

i'm not so sure...my daughter's interest in riding continues to grow because mom and i have always made sure that she had a bike and always encoraged her to ride with us. She now has 3 bikes, a bike rack on her truck to ensure that she always has a bike with her, and bike commutes whenever possible.

She also rides for fun every day, she rides XC, trail, and road, and made sure that her SO was into biking as well (he used to ride with the Cdn National MTB Team)

How did she get her licence suspended at 19? Oh wait, I forgot you can get licences earlier - I got mine in South Africa - 18 only. But still, she had it for 3 years max before it got suspended?

She got 10 tickets in a month's time. I think only 1 or two of them were moving violations.

She needs to burn her fingers some more first. Teens have a hard time associating action and cause. Heck even 20 somethings today, aren't as mature as 20 somethings a few decades ago.

One approach would be to drive her as a taxi, $1.00 a mile, round trip, with payment on delivery at site.

That'll take care of the finance stick. But it could be conditioning or image. 18 miles is a long ways for a teen to ride, and doubly hard for girls. I think you might have to go on weekend family rides to verify it's not a conditioning issue. Key here is to make it fun, or it won't happen. There are just so many variables. If she's a night owl and has difficulty getting up early, she won't make it. Cycle commuting requires earlier bed times and earlier rise times.

Don't push cycling on her, just offer encouragement and show her how she can have fun and save a ton of money and grief. Cyclists don't get as many tickets as drivers . ;)

I guess I need to clarify a little.

Current job = 8 miles away.
new job that just started yesterday = 18 miles away
lots of potential jobs just like the "new" job but closer = 3-5 miles away. All of these jobs would be a cake ride because there are no big hills and it's all residential riding.

She needs to burn her fingers some more first. Teens have a hard time associating action and cause. Heck even 20 somethings today, aren't as mature as 20 somethings a few decades ago.

That'll take care of the finance stick. But it could be conditioning or image. 18 miles is a long ways for a teen to ride, and doubly hard for girls.

Wow! You're just full of steriotypes!

I don't think her problems have anything to do with her age or sex. Its all about who she is in general. Don't know her nor you, but something has gone wrong somewhere. She needs to learn some responsibility and consequences to bad actions. Losing a job because she couldnt get a ride? Please, thats bad form no matter who you are.

Agree that you need to let her learn a few hard lessons, and im not usually one to knock someones self esteem, but casually making the point that it will keep her from getting fat might "ping" in the right place.

Personally though, from what ypu've told us? I doubt you'll succeed. She just doesnt sound like she cares enough about work or anything else to do it.

I would say that all you can do is continue to be a good example.

I would kick her out of the house.



OK, I wouldn't, but I'd want to.

Wow! You're just full of steriotypes!

Stereotypes are not necessarily bad. A stereotype is a prejudgment of a situation based past experience or group consensus. Usually they are based on some common experience. Where stereotypes are bad is when they follow the dictionary definition and are not used for a quick sort method but are locked down and viewer is inflexible in allowing that one member of a group might be different than the group.



I don't think her problems have anything to do with her age or sex. Its all about who she is in general. Don't know her nor you, but something has gone wrong somewhere. She needs to learn some responsibility and consequences to bad actions. Losing a job because she couldnt get a ride? Please, thats bad form no matter who you are.

HUmmm. I don't know about that. Age issues with connecting cause and effect were just reported this year as new scientific research. Demographics on cyclists show more males than females cyclo commute. You are correct that who she is overrides both of those items.

Agreed losing a job is a bad experience for anyone, especially a teen. That is partially why I suggested the taxi option. I think parents need to do something besides say your 18, so hit the road and handle your problems all by yourself.




Agree that you need to let her learn a few hard lessons, and im not usually one to knock someones self esteem, but casually making the point that it will keep her from getting fat might "ping" in the right place.

Got to be very careful here or it will come off as nagging. Besides which, cycling may not appear to reduce fat. It will increase muscle. It may reduce weight, or weight will stay the same and percentage fat may change. I don't see how bigger leg muscles will be a plus to a 19 year old girl.




Personally though, from what ypu've told us? I doubt you'll succeed. She just doesnt sound like she cares enough about work or anything else to do it.

Agreed in general. Actually, she may care, but she cares more about doing it her way. The fact that she chose a job 14 miles further way says something else is going on. She may be trying to justify the need for a car. She may choose it just because it's not a job her father would choose. Way too many dynamics for a public forum. You might benefit from some family counseling.

I don't think cycling will be an answer for her simply because it's your answer and not her answer. All you can do is encourage an open approach to transportation needs and make cycling as fun as you can.

I am 18 and I just finished a year of college going to be 19 soon while I went to college I worked two jobs biked to both jobs and school winter and summer and I payed for my first bike a fully suspended C'dale for 800 dollars for my first job at 15, and did I mention I pay for my own apartment? not all teens are lazy

Maybe appeal to her vanity - point out fat chicks who should be exercising more ;) "You should start riding now so you don't end up looking like that..."

That's the last thing you should ever say to a young girl. The only result a statement of "motivation" like that can have is negative.

I am 18 and I just finished a year of college going to be 19 soon while I went to college I worked two jobs biked to both jobs and school winter and summer and I payed for my first bike a fully suspended C'dale for 800 dollars for my first job at 15, and did I mention I pay for my own apartment? not all teens are lazy


Great job. Who said teens were lazy? I'd bet you had an excellent life training before 15 for this to take off. Maybe you can reflect on your early training and share some suggestions on what worked for motivating you.

Are you crazy? Forbid her to ride a bike anywhere. Tell her she's too young and inexperienced. Get into a yelling match. Have her storm out of the house on that bike, guns a-blazing to prove you wrong. :)

Show her a picture of the "now" Britney Spears, and tell her "Britney doesn't ride a bike, and look at her".

...that alone will probably scare her into not just commuting, but bike racing.

Is Public Transit an option? Is she going on to College? If so then you need to be a little more careful. If not I would side with the 12 months option. That was the deal with my dad. I went Army after JC and he still helped with college tuition later.

She got 10 tickets in a month's time. I think only 1 or two of them were moving violations.
That's still insane. Many people don't get that many in their entire lives. Sounds like she has some issues to work out.

It takes a special type of teenager to ride 18 miles each way on a bike. It's not so much a matter of physical fitness as it is of having the right attitude. Maybe take her halfway and if she's good about keeping up with it, do something nice? I think if she can get a long bike ride into her routine, doing the whole distance will be no problem.

I think Diane is onto something about avoiding warning her that she'll be fat. Better to emphasize the positive. She'll feel great, look great, and be able to totally humiliate at least 90% of the guys her age.

does she ride a bike at all? I thought my teen knew how to ride, but she just announced that she wants to jog for excersise and that anything involving her and wheels is a no go on account that she's a ****.

Go for a ride with her around potential job locations to show her how easy riding is.

I would say that all you can do is continue to be a good example.

In terms of realistic options, this is probably the best one, along with simply letting her know that the bike is there if she needs it. If she has her fingers burned a few times, such as the boss complaining when she can't get a ride and doesn't turn up, she might reconsider.

That's the last thing you should ever say to a young girl. The only result a statement of "motivation" like that can have is negative.

+1

I would steer very far away from mentioning body image and type. I've seen nothing but bad stuff come from trying that route. Very bad stuff.

If you really want her to ride, talk to her like she's a peer. Don't come across as condescending. I hate it when my parents patronize me, I hated it since I was 8. Just tell her what her options are and tell her that you'll do what you can to help her. Let her come to her own decision.

If she doesn't want to ride, oh well. You can't win 'em all. The option will always, of course, be there.

I guess I was thinking of the famous Twainism: When I was fourteen my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. When I was twenty-one I was surprised at how much he'd learned in seven years.

The OP's daughter may just have to have a similar revelation.

I wished somebody put me onto bike commuting when I was 19. I would have had a wonderful ride to college every morning, instead of wasting away in traffic.
At least im enlightned now =)

I think the answer to your question is simple...Stop giving her rides to anywhere, do not get things for her (like what she wants from the grocery store etc.), give her zero cash, and prepare to deal with whining.

This will result in the following:
-She will run out of cash and her friends will grow tired of giving her rides
-She will miss work often and be fired from her job 18 miles away
-She will have no cash, resulting in misery (for both of you)
-She will rebel, and refuse to get a job, locking herself in her room, letting you know she hates you
-You will remove the phone, computer and internet access from her room if its there, saying you will return it when she pays for it.
-She will try to move out, and realize she has no money and no-where to go
-She will finally consider getting a job closer to home
-She will get one, and will walk or ride a bike
-She will get money, and will move out of your house ASAP.

Hmm....I guess there's no easy answer to this one.

Best plan yet dogboy. Sounds like Dr. Laura advice. ;)