Let's start a thread solely dedicated to ways to getting back at obnoxious cagers. The honkers, tailgaters, object throwers, etc. Keep the ideas creative, but they have to be legal :D . So the bazooka shot to the head is out.

Sea rescue whistle as you stand between the drivers window and the car to the left. Call it filtering if the cops bother you. Make sure the window is down so they have the kick ass ringing for the next day or so to remind them...

So much for a legal solution.

Get harrassed by obnoxious male cager. End up at same bar as said male cager. To your surprise, he begins the pick-up routine..with you. Obviously, he doesn't recognize you. Respond with a nasty verbal castration of a sort that you would otherwise never imagine engaging in. In front of his friends. Watch the look on his face and his friends' responses with a saucy smirk. Turn on your heel and flounce away. Ride home.

Spit on their car.

edit:
The question reminded me of this joke. (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=205899) So I posted it to the jokes & humor forum. Maybe there is something there that can be adapted to this situation.

Follow them home, kill a bird, and stuff it into their gastank.

So the bazooka shot to the head is out.

The bazooka shot to the head is out because I don't ride a tandem. I mean, who's going to tap my helmet? The dam things won't work unless someone taps your helmet.

So the bazooka shot to the head is out.
The other thing abut the bazooka shot is that there may be innocent fellow occupants in the vehicle. Just smile and wave and use ALL of your fingers, it confuses them!:D The best form of revenge is to live well in spite of them!

My last verbal assault against a total idiot resulted in him turning around after me. Fortunatley there were too many witnesses. While it sounds fun to do this type of retaliation, Road Rage is a reality. You have to be very careful of who you piss off. My father always said you can be "Dead Right." I finally figured what that meant. Good luck and try to stay alive.

Tim

The bazooka shot to the head is out because I don't ride a tandem. I mean, who's going to tap my helmet? The dam things won't work unless someone taps your helmet.
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: Good one.:)

Note their license plate. Use one of the many on-line services to obtain their name and address by doing a reverse search on the license plate number (google 'license plate reverse search'). Most cases, it's a heterosexual male who's the offender. Give him a paid one-year subscription to gay porn as a "Gift" from his "Secret lover." If he's married, you can bet what he'll get will be far worse than what he dished out. If you feel like doing a bit more investigative work, you can determine where they work, and have it sent there.

If you don't feel like paying money, you can still send him all the "Freebies" and newsletters you can find on-line that relate to homosexuality.

You would be amazed at how much you can find out about someone simply from their license plate number.

Get harrassed by obnoxious male cager. End up at same bar as said male cager. To your surprise, he begins the pick-up routine..with you. Obviously, he doesn't recognize you. Respond with a nasty verbal castration of a sort that you would otherwise never imagine engaging in. In front of his friends. Watch the look on his face and his friends' responses with a saucy smirk. Turn on your heel and flounce away. Ride home.

If you're a guy, dress up like a girl and do this.

I used to have one of those small air horns...like you use on a small boat:rolleyes: I had a dumb cager crowd me and the passenger was screaming obscenties, I stuck the horn in the window of the car and let them have it. Probably not the smartest move on my part but it scared the clown so much that they jerked the wheel left and hit a truck on the other side of them:D I did stay around for the accident report, He got the ticket for illegal move resulting in an accident. Never heard anymore about it.

Aaron:)

Note their license plate. Use one of the many on-line services to obtain their name and address by doing a reverse search on the license plate number (google 'license plate reverse search'). Most cases, it's a heterosexual male who's the offender. Give him a paid one-year subscription to gay porn as a "Gift" from his "Secret lover." If he's married, you can bet what he'll get will be far worse than what he dished out. If you feel like doing a bit more investigative work, you can determine where they work, and have it sent there.

If you don't feel like paying money, you can still send him all the "Freebies" and newsletters you can find on-line that relate to homosexuality.

You would be amazed at how much you can find out about someone simply from their license plate number.

One of the other forums I'm on does this to people that post their address, such as someone being too excited that they got a Dl or some other crap. Instead of gay porn though, we send them every freebie we can find. We call it "boxing".

I got boxed about 7 years back....I knew something was wrong when I saw a LARGE USPS boxtruck outside of my house, and the driver was pulling out stuff in my driveway....I recieved at least 4-5,000 packages from that :(

What I did wrong? I had a picture of me in front of the house, which hapened to have a plaque of the street address....they knew the city and state, so they just figured out the zip code, and :( :( :(

. . . Just smile and wave and use ALL of your fingers, it confuses them!:D The best form of revenge is to live well in spite of them!
I'm not always good enough to do this, but you're right. It really confuses them, and it doesn't ruin your ride.

Pepper spray their vehicle, not them, you don't want to cause an accident. Pepper spray has a permanent dye in it. It will not come out of clothing so it may not come off of their vehicle. If the jackass does not know you did it until he sees it later all the better.

I have done this numerous times. Once was to a white escalade. I saw the vehicle about 2 weeks after, the stain was still mostly there but was coming off.

Another thing you can use is a squirt gun & the purple primer that you can find at a hardware store used for priming plastic plumbing so the glue will stick. Purple primer will never come off of any type of surface except skin. I should know I dripped some on my wife's brand new white washer, she was not happy, it is still there. I was going to do this to vehicles but the squirt gun I had leaked. If you can find one that does not leak the stuff all over you it will work. Maybe I should silicon the seams shut on the water gun to prevent it from leaking

Retaliation could lead to an a55-kicking. It happened to my brother. I lately blow 'em a kiss and "who loves ya baby?". Works especially well with young males. :D

I've thought about tossing a paint ball at idiots, but I live in a small town and ride the same route everyday, so eventually I'll run into them again. I prefer it on my terms, say a parking lot, than theirs, behind me.

I'm still leaning toward the canned air horn idea mentioned in another thread.

Fortunately, living in a small town, as well as working for the company that services the local police cars, I get to bend the ear of the local LEO's.

Belive it or not, private citizens in Massachusetts may report improper operation of a motor vehicle to the Registry of motor vehicles.( That's the DMV to some of you, and Motor Vehicle Bureau, to some others. ) Don't believe it? Have a link: http://www.mass.gov/rmv/forms/21171.pdf.

I've never done this, and I don't know of anyone who actually has. There are some catches here. One is that you must be prepared to follow through, by showing up at a Registry hearing if one is scheduled. This means time out of your business day, and going to a Registry office location that is probably in some skanky part of town. So, be prepared.

Also, MA law states that only a sworn police officer may issue a motor vehicle citation. The officer must witness the infraction first hand, write the citation, and personally hand it to the motorist. The motorist must then sign the citation in the officer's presence. Pretty standard in most states. So, even if you were to file one of these forms, I doubt there would be any legal action against the motorist, or any "points" (steps in MA, I think) on his/her license. As I said, I've never done this. Thought about it a few times, but never done it.

Check out things in your own state, and see if there is a similar procedure. Check out your Motor Vehicle Department's websites, and see what forms are available. Keywords for searches could be "Improper operation of vehicle".


On the other hand, DigitalQuirk's idea sounds like a lot more fun, especially if said offender is a beer-and-football type. Quirk, if it's a yuppie suburban chick in an SUV, could we make those mag subscriptions from "leather and whips"? :D

Call the police. If they've done something like try to hit you (with a car or trash) report that. That'ss assualt. Also, so states have road rage laws. If they're just acting like jerks, call in a driver who might be drunk (say you think they might be, unless you have proof). The worst ones often are (yellers, and aggressive). Police do take suspected DUI's very seriously, so only call them if they really do seem like they could be.

Just smile and wave.:)

It seems out of place is a completely unexpected response. Surprise advantage, yours.

Remember, "they" can't get you spun-up unless you let them. Why hand a stranger that kind of authority over you?

Find their vehicle and tag up the curb they're parked to with red spraypaint.
Call traffic enforcement and rant about some jack@$$ blocking the firelane.
Watch the unfortunate party start crying as their beloved vehicle is impounded.
Ride by and blurt out, "ha-ha!!" 'ala Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons.

Some of the comments here (pepper spraying, paint balling, air horn, spitting on their car, calling the cops) would seem to me to only further alienate cyclists from motorists. Do you actually think the motorist is going to think, "Gee, I wish I hadn't bothered that cyclist?" Or do you think the motorist is going to think, "Just wait until next time..."

Things like "Boxing," as it's called, or other such forms of retaliation which might seem to come right out of nowhere is not only much more satisfying, it also will cause the motorist to think, "Why me?" It causes them to think about all the things they might've done to provoke someone to create misery in their lives. Maybe it was the waitress they were rude to. Perhaps it was the pizza guy they chewed out for being half a minute late. Chances are good, if they're yelling at a cyclist, they've also done something to bring some misery into someone else's life. Once they see that a degree of "Misery" (though I prefer to call it humor) can be brought to their lives quite anonymously (the anonymous proxy server list is your friend), chances are pretty good that they'll start to treat people just a little bit nicer. You'll have done your good deed for the day, and no harm is actually done. Who knows...maybe they'll actually see the humor in it and lighten up for a change.

Another tactic might be to try to befriend the offending person. You know, try to see where they're coming from, and let them know you're a real person; an actual human being, just like they are. Ah, that'll never work; nobody wants to like someone who's different than they are.

$3.25/Gal fuel prices and people still don't get off their high horses.
Yes, befriending them might be good, but in an area where the stoplights are at least 2-3 miles apart, all these people think about is mashing the accelerator.
I would say another legal thing to do is gather all the old folks to sign an anti-speeding/pro-speedbump petition. Since they always like to complain about "youngsters and their hip vehicles", we could use this to our advantage.
A really nice thing to see would be speed-activated speed bumps.
They'll be placed at uncertain intervals along the road and will go off when a vehicle goes 5mph over the limit. And an automatic clause of liability-waiving will be enacted.
Eliminating those pesky lawsuits brought about by a potential clients own ignorance.

Let's start a thread solely dedicated to ways to getting back at obnoxious cagers. The honkers, tailgaters, object throwers, etc. Keep the ideas creative, but they have to be legal :D . So the bazooka shot to the head is out.
Actually, I was thinking right along those lines but a little more tame.

Think... "PING PONG BALL CANNON"

Not to hit cars but to fire a warning shot "over the bow" so to speak. No harm, no foul... "I was just playing ping pong with the dog when it went out into the street, Ocifer!".

If for some reason it spooked a driver and they crawled up a tree with their pretty little car, well, that says a lot about how they were driving to begin with. I think the skid marks and the front end damage will be enough to prosecute the driver for wreckless driving which means they won't be driving for quite a while after a few of those.

Anyone know where I can get a Ping Pong Ball Cannon?

$3.25/Gal fuel prices and people still don't get off their high horses.
Yes, befriending them might be good, but in an area where the stoplights are at least 2-3 miles apart, all these people think about is mashing the accelerator.
I would say another legal thing to do is gather all the old folks to sign an anti-speeding/pro-speedbump petition. Since they always like to complain about "youngsters and their hip vehicles", we could use this to our advantage.
A really nice thing to see would be speed-activated speed bumps.
They'll be placed at uncertain intervals along the road and will go off when a vehicle goes 5mph over the limit. And an automatic clause of liability-waiving will be enacted.
Eliminating those pesky lawsuits brought about by a potential clients own ignorance.

Speedbumps? Please...I accelerate for those things. :lol: The only thing those things hurt are the rice burners with cut springs and cars with little wheels. :lol:

What if they were 3' tall ramps that spring up. We could play Dukes of Hazzard.

Yeeeee-HAAAAAw :D

I like the automatic speed bump with speed detection... Something like a 3 foot tall brick wall that pops up out of the ground with a sign that says "Drive carefully & Have a nice day" :p

I like the automatic speed bump with speed detection... Something like a 3 foot tall brick wall that pops up out of the ground with a sign that says "Drive carefully & Have a nice day" :p

Ah, obsticals that let me push the great handling characteristics of my car to the limit. Imagine the fun it would be to speed up behind a cyclist to set off one of those speed bumps, then watch them try to bunny-hop that one! :lol:

$3.25/Gal fuel prices and people still don't get off their high horses....


No, they don't. Amazing, isn't it? What's a pack of cigarettes going for now, four bucks? I thought that this would make some people quit smoking, but nope. I'd say that smokers are more defiant than ever. Side question: where are teenagers and college kids getting the money to buy cigarettes? When I was a high school student, you were damn rich if you had three bucks in your pocket. Where is all this money coming from? I just feel as though I've missed something.

As I cruise through the ultra-rich towns west of Boston, I am seeing more luxury SUV's on the road than ever. I'd say these folks aren't affected by the high gas prices at all. Of course, you must remember that these are the people who go into a luxury SUV dealer, pick out one they like, and pay cash for it, with the same level of concern that you might have for buying a 3-pack of boxer shorts.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant off topic.

Its called credit, or rather credit debt in most cases.

as for on topic. Legal ways to get back?

well almost nothing listed so far is legal... all the pain/peper spray ect ect is property damage or vandilism of some sort.

The air horn even could get you somthing like noise polution or creating a road hazzard there is a law for everything under the sun and then some.

The smile and wave thing just doesnt work when some punk kids just flew past you at 60mph and tossed an orange at you or somthing and nearly brakes a rib, are you gonna wave at them and smile?? hell no.

I agree a passive aproach is best tho, 9/10 times you confront them it only gets worse with a verbal argument that just waist your time/energy and teaches them nothing or it may become phisical. I dont know about you but I am not in my best fighting shape after just biking 30 miles, and no matter how good of shape I am in, I cant block a car or a bullet wich are the two weapons used against me the most in a bad situation.

I really cant give you a great answer, calling the cops probably does nothing. I had a guy cut an old lady off in the round about, cut me off by running a stop sign, speed thru a school zone and then pull over to let his kid out. I noticed he had no left brakes/blinker and I was pissed because he ran that stop sign and nearly took the front bumper off my truck. So I pulled over to have a word with him and said somthing along the lines of "you know you nearly caused an accident when you ran that stop sign back there, then right after you didnt yield in the round about and made an old lady lock up her brakes to not hit you, and you have no left tail light or blinker" I didnt say it aggressivly and his response was "what are you a ****ing cop? right me a ticket for it then" I noticed there was a motorcycle cop right there in the school zone that day probabably to get speeders so I said "No but he is" and pointed to the motorcycle cop.

I was on my way home from work, went and pulled over and talked with the officer. I greeted him and fully explaned the situation. Even if he didnt belive my story its totally impossible to ignore the broken tail light. The officer was kind and said "dont worry I'll take care of it"

Now here it is 2 months later, and I have seen this guy 5-7 times on my way home, he got no ticket and still has no tail light.

Thats what happens when you take your time to try to correct sombody the legal way... you waist your time.

No, they don't. Amazing, isn't it? What's a pack of cigarettes going for now, four bucks? I thought that this would make some people quit smoking, but nope. I'd say that smokers are more defiant than ever. Side question: where are teenagers and college kids getting the money to buy cigarettes? When I was a high school student, you were damn rich if you had three bucks in your pocket. Where is all this money coming from? I just feel as though I've missed something.

As I cruise through the ultra-rich towns west of Boston, I am seeing more luxury SUV's on the road than ever. I'd say these folks aren't affected by the high gas prices at all. Of course, you must remember that these are the people who go into a luxury SUV dealer, pick out one they like, and pay cash for it, with the same level of concern that you might have for buying a 3-pack of boxer shorts.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant off topic.

To answer a couple of questions...

First, the price of gas occupies only a fraction of a typical household budget. Most people can offset the increased cost simply by combining trips. Also, most people can easily take money from other parts of the budget; maybe they'll go out to a movie one less night a month, or purchase one less CD. Ironically, many find significant savings simply by quitting smoking, which would easily absorb the increased cost of petrol.

Second, I'll tell you where those kids get their money: Mommy and daddy buy little Tommy a Gameboy Advance for his birthday. Little Tommy gets bored with it and takes it to a pawn shop where he can get $20 for it. Multiply this by the number of things little Tommy has become bored with, and it's not hard to see where a teenager who's growing out of their kid stuff can come up with $50. Plenty of money to get hooked on just about any drug.

As 古強者死神 has illustrated with his story, most of these offenders lash out at many people; you're simply in their way at the wrong time. If they threw an orange at you, they probably also spit on some old ladies from the roof of a building, as well as any number of things. This is why retaliation needs to be done anonymously. Train yourself to memorize license plate numbers. Licence plate number = their complete identity. After that, you have Karma on your side. Let your imagination run wild. How about a wake-up call from a phone booth at 2:00 am on a Sunday night so you can tell them what a jackass they are? Maybe the old burning bag of dog poop on the front door step? I can think of a good number of other fun things to do, but posting them here to a public message board may incriminate me...;)

$3.25/Gal fuel prices and people still don't get off their high horses.
Yes, befriending them might be good, but in an area where the stoplights are at least 2-3 miles apart, all these people think about is mashing the accelerator.
I would say another legal thing to do is gather all the old folks to sign an anti-speeding/pro-speedbump petition. Since they always like to complain about "youngsters and their hip vehicles", we could use this to our advantage.
A really nice thing to see would be speed-activated speed bumps.
They'll be placed at uncertain intervals along the road and will go off when a vehicle goes 5mph over the limit. And an automatic clause of liability-waiving will be enacted.
Eliminating those pesky lawsuits brought about by a potential clients own ignorance.
I had three bags of concrete left over after working on the house. I made my own speed bump.

Legal ways of getting back at them?

- Flash them your gorgeously chiseled thighs and let them drool with envy (or lust) because theirs are so flabby.
- Whip out your bank statement and gaze in satisfaction at the pile of money you have since you don't have to pay for gas much anymore.
- Imagine all 4 of their tires going flat at once. They'll have to call a tow-truck. If both your tires went flat, you could simply push your bike home. See how much less hassle there is for you in the world?
- Next time you go to the store, pull up smugly at the bike parking right by the door. Observe the drivers circling for "good" spaces so very far far away.

In short, the best revenge is living well.

I'll be doing it Friday night. Critical Mass. Payback time.

I'll be doing it Friday night. Critical Mass. Payback time.
Can you explain please.
Al

its not perfect but I believe lots of states have this program.....
http://bicyclecolo.org/page.cfm?PageID=731

I think it's been explained here to death.

You want me to explain the Critical Mass ride to you? Or my reasons for doing it?

Can you explain please.
Al

I think it's been explained here to death.

You want me to explain the Critical Mass ride to you? Or my reasons for doing it?
I want to know what you mean by 'payback time'

Al

It means they are going to take out their frustration caused by a few on the majority.

get a taser.

Follow them home and air out all 4 of their tires at night.

Smash some anchovies into thir air intake in their car... or other strategically located places.

Put a huge glob of vaseline under thier door handles.

order a pizza to their house every night for 2 weeks.

tons of other fun .. not really legal stuff :)

It means they are going to take out their frustration caused by a few on the majority.

HE might do that... believe me, most of us don't think that way.

One of the other forums I'm on does this to people that post their address, such as someone being too excited that they got a Dl or some other crap. Instead of gay porn though, we send them every freebie we can find. We call it "boxing".

I got boxed about 7 years back....I knew something was wrong when I saw a LARGE USPS boxtruck outside of my house, and the driver was pulling out stuff in my driveway....I recieved at least 4-5,000 packages from that :(

What I did wrong? I had a picture of me in front of the house, which hapened to have a plaque of the street address....they knew the city and state, so they just figured out the zip code, and :( :( :(

Any thing good in all hem boxes ?

ride as hard as you can and catch up to them at the next light... i mean ride harder than you have ever ridden before.. once you catch up to them gracefully stick your finger down your throat and puke all over their car... certainly you can't get in trouble for that... Obviously it was a terrible accident! if you get an open window, you automaticly earn 1,000,000 cool points!!!!!!!!

like some have mentioned cops wont do much most of the time but there is one branch of law enforcement that will. Guess what branch :)

Ok ill tell you the one. Its your park rangers who patrol the local parks and roads leading in to the park. get a driver to follow you to a park in your arera and find a ranger driver = busted simple as that heh.

Ive had cops do something a few times once was last year. I was riding the local towpath. On my way back i was coming down wooster road and this paticular section was a bike route. Well driver in a truck was hassling me cussing me crowding me and a cop seen this and told the guy to appologise and hed best hope i accepted other wise he was getting a large ticket as it was a construction zone/detour. The driver did appologise but i said i dont even want to hear it have a nice day. Heard cop say tobad pull over.

Got to love fine doubled areas :) nd i think the bike routes them self have fine doubling as well so that should mean 4x normal not sure on bike route fine doubling though. Some one told me that some time ago.

If you can manage to get an address, go to the drug store and pick up all those magazine sub cards lying all over the floor. Take them home and make them out to the nitwit's address.

Cheap and easy fun!

Az

Anyone ever thought of being the bigger person and just ignoring them?

Anyone ever thought of being the bigger person and just ignoring them?


yeah... it didn't feel good though...

Any thing good in all hem boxes ?


Flashlights....lots of them.

The rest were mostly bad jokes...I had a trash bag full of tampon samples by the time I was through.

Oh, and one guy sent me a pack of folded UPS boxes....what the hell....

Then you had the slew of AOL-type cds, posters/chatchkies for things you really don't care about (yay, a poster for cornmeal!), and the numerous amounts of viagra promotional kits.

The crown jewel though....I still have it....a coconut monkey. Some guy actually sent something non-freebie....and rather cool too. It now sits on top of my TV.

Anyone ever thought of being the bigger person and just ignoring them?
While I think this thread is more for venting, describing what one wishes they could do, I hope some realize that ignoring bad (but not outwardly dangerous/illegal) behavior is often the best. Not just for the specific situation, but for reducing future ones.

I much prefer to reward good behavior, ignore obnoxious, and address in a well mannered friendly approach the dangerous.

Keeping outwardly positive communication can go a long way to improving the image of cyclist. Wave when drivers yield to let you in, smile. Let a sole driver get ahead of you if it means slowing a bit or whatever. Use your arms and hands to direct traffic flow when needed.

Al