Foo - Oh the Awkardness!

Sooooo, I'm in a situation I've never been in before. I have a very old friend who is female who in the last two months, we have encountered "boy/girl" issues. I'm also a family friend and she's been like my kid sister (she's 10 years younger--I'm in my early 30's). Anyway, we've decided that there is no point in throwing away several years of history, but things are in no way the same, nor will they be--at least for a while. It seems that everyday we're having "awkward moment" recovery periods and a "you crossed this line" kind of talk (either from me or her). In the last couple of weeks, they've gotten less and less (like once every 3 days instead of 5 times a day), but they still happen. Oh, we also have to see eachother everyday! Anyway, it's just really wierd. I've decided if we want to keep a "friendship", that the best place to go is back to where things were built. It's unrealistic that we'll ever be as close as we were, but we can get close. Never have I been through something like this with someone who is like family to me--and whose family is like family to me! Anyway, I just needed to rant!

If you two really are friends, then you'll get over it and either 1. return to the previous equilibrium of friendship or 2. have some fun, guilt-free "boy/girl" issues...


And since we're on the subject of awkwardness: that uncontrollable hard-on while getting a physical...

explody, you're talking about during the rectal exam, right? Nope, have no idea what you're talking about.

koine, if you can hit it discreetly, hit it. You've been friends this long, is it really that awkward to see her nekkid? g'wan!

explody, you're talking about during the rectal exam, right? Nope, have no idea what you're talking about.
Ummmm... no comment.

Related note: Awkward: When the doctor insists that you give him a rectal exam, too.

C'mon. I can't be the only one with this problem...

lol! this to tooooo funny!
and to the OP, I dont know... guess you can be attracted to your friends but if it keeps taking over maybe you tow are bond to be more then friends?

Aww I say just let things happen see where it takes you both. If its meant to be then its meant to be.

There you go! Snowy said to HIT IT!

HIT IT LIKE A BASEBALL!

:roflmao:

She's outta here!

EDIT: Add pic

http://foampirates.com/wp-content/BABERUTH.gif

speaking of awkwardness:

1) attend class (of any sort)
2) be the first one walking out at a lunch break
3) stop and bend over to throw something away at the door
4) fart loudly in the direction of everyone else leaving the room


nope, never happened to me.

I'm a little confused as to what the problem is. People say this kind of stuff all the time and it doesn't make sense to me, especially if you both are having these feelings. Ask anyone who is happily married who their best friend is. You get one guess.

If you and a close friend have legit feelings for each other, you should sit down and talk about it. The age difference isn't an inherent problem, that all depends on you. This could be a story you tell your kids one day "When I was your age, I posted on that there interweb about your mom!"

/Dr. Phil

+1 Dr Phil, and why fight it if it's always getting in the way..

All this pent-up emotion and tension's not good, you're both gonna get ulcers and end up hating each other. Just get it over with, have a wild primal animalistic sex-session that'll scare all the neighborhood cats away for blocks. You'll both feel better afterwards...

Don't let "history" be something that takes you out of the moment. Don't create any rules for your friendship. Just spend time with her and if what you (both of you) are feeling is genuine attraction and caring, enjoy it. "And, remember that line from "Maud Muller": "For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.'"


bruce19

I was gonna write an advice, but I felt the follwing picture would better illustrate my point(wait for it to load):

http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/2861/agent0193wq3.gif

Hit it. Hit it good. Hit it often.

If you hit it hard enough, and by GOD you will, you would create a rift in the time-space continuum that would cause her to bypass all the sentimental stuff and get to the good part.

I just don't get why its such a hard topic for anyone. If two people share the same feelings for eachother and they both want the same thing then whats the issue??Also, HELLO just talk to eachother its not that big of a deal, its not like your going to bomb Iran or something.
You don't want to die with regret cause you were to afraid to speak up do you?? I say like it spill out and see what comes of it. :)

What the hell are "boy/girl" issues? I'm 37 and this is a new one on me. I've heard of girl issues, but that usually only happens once a month and I've never heard of it happening to boys!

What the hell are "boy/girl" issues? I'm 37 and this is a new one on me. I've heard of girl issues, but that usually only happens once a month and I've never heard of it happening to boys!

Kinda like friends with benefits, either accidentally or intentionally.

I've been there before, a long, long time ago.

My rule of thumb if I ever had this situation again would be to "go for it". Basically, the "friendship" is already gone as it once was. It will NEVER be that way again. You have to face that. All you can do is "go for it" and hope it works, and if not, you lost the friend as a "close friend" forever, but as you have already lost that closeness, it really isn't much different than not going for it.

There you go! Snowy said to HIT IT!

HIT IT LIKE A BASEBALL!

YEP HIT IT!!

Hit her, her sister's boss, and then move out!


Or something. I think I'm getting my threads mixed up again...

Thanks all--I think the biggest issue is that she is planning on moving away really soon (but will be back in a few years) to go off to school so the timing is not what it should be. It's just the awkardness of mutual attraction and not being able to pursue it for the time being. A couple months ago I posted something about a friend moving away and the pain of it--that's her. I guess you could say that we casually dated for a while. A few short days after that, she and I had our first DTR, I went overseas, and we finished the talk when I got back. Both of us decided that timing wasn't right, but we'll see in a few years if we're both still single. Neither of us date around to date or to have a gf or bf. In getting into a romantic relationship, we're asking the question of whether or not we should marry. Since she's not ready (needs to go to school) to marry, there's no point in asking that question of each other yet. Like I said, things are normalizing, and that big rhinocerous in the middle of the room that we are ignoring is getting smaller and smaller. By the beginning, I meant playing with the kids she sometimes takes care of! It's a place where we can have fun without having to worry about deep emotional type conversations at the moment.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a238/catatonic_cyclist/idhitit_garycoleman.jpg

All you are telling me is YOU NEED TO HIT IT and send her off to college properly. You'll never have this chance again.



Thanks all--I think the biggest issue is that she is planning on moving away really soon (but will be back in a few years) to go off to school so the timing is not what it should be. It's just the awkardness of mutual attraction and not being able to pursue it for the time being. A couple months ago I posted something about a friend moving away and the pain of it--that's her. I guess you could say that we casually dated for a while. A few short days after that, she and I had our first DTR, I went overseas, and we finished the talk when I got back. Both of us decided that timing wasn't right, but we'll see in a few years if we're both still single. Neither of us date around to date or to have a gf or bf. In getting into a romantic relationship, we're asking the question of whether or not we should marry. Since she's not ready (needs to go to school) to marry, there's no point in asking that question of each other yet. Like I said, things are normalizing, and that big rhinocerous in the middle of the room that we are ignoring is getting smaller and smaller. By the beginning, I meant playing with the kids she sometimes takes care of! It's a place where we can have fun without having to worry about deep emotional type conversations at the moment.

Thanks all--I think the biggest issue is that she is planning on moving away really soon (but will be back in a few years) to go off to school so the timing is not what it should be. It's just the awkardness of mutual attraction and not being able to pursue it for the time being. A couple months ago I posted something about a friend moving away and the pain of it--that's her. I guess you could say that we casually dated for a while. A few short days after that, she and I had our first DTR, I went overseas, and we finished the talk when I got back. Both of us decided that timing wasn't right, but we'll see in a few years if we're both still single. Neither of us date around to date or to have a gf or bf. In getting into a romantic relationship, we're asking the question of whether or not we should marry. Since she's not ready (needs to go to school) to marry, there's no point in asking that question of each other yet. Like I said, things are normalizing, and that big rhinocerous in the middle of the room that we are ignoring is getting smaller and smaller. By the beginning, I meant playing with the kids she sometimes takes care of! It's a place where we can have fun without having to worry about deep emotional type conversations at the moment.Dude, take it from all the older folks who've gone through this, you only LIVE ONCE! You're young, innocently inexperience and that's damn cute! But you can live it up, have fun, party wildly and enjoy life now like you'll never be able to again later, take advantage of it before it's too late. You're way to young too get married, and if you did, you'll probably won't be able to make it work. Because these touchy-feely "issues" you're going through now, is NOTHING like the real types of stuff that you'll encounter in a marriage.

It's like that saying about a journey of 1000-miles... starts with once step... then another... then another. What you're thinking is how you can do it all in a single big leap... marriage, relationship, committment all at once. Nope not gonna happen, it takes constant and continual work and being able to recognise what's happening RIGHT NOW and dealing with it as things comes up. The future is based upon the path you're taking today. And the best path given the circumstances is... TO HIT HARD !!!! You'd be pleasantly surprized that it actually will get you closer to both your long-term goals as well... :)

Speaking of awkwardness...

I'm at my doctor's office for a sinus infection. He says, "You haven't had a physical in several years. Why don't we get that out of the way, while you're here?"
He leaves, comes back and says, "Okay, go ahead and drop your pants."

(Now, for the ladies, when we guys get a physical, we don't look down during this part. We put on a vacant stare and look toward the blood pressure cuff, hanging on the wall).

Just as he starts to get a handle on everything, he asks, "Is that Bugs Bunny?"

My first thought is, "What could possibly have changed down there, since this morning that would make my genitalia look like a cartoon rabbit?"

As I look down, I realize that I had put on my Bugs Bunny boxers, that morning. He probably wondered why I said, "Yea, it is." while breathing a sigh of relief.

On my way out of the office, I had one of those, "I should have said..." moments: Since he did have ahold of my manhood, I wish my response had been, "No, it's Elmer Fudd. Don't you recognize him?"

Did you freak him out by backing up?

....You're way to young too get married....

Why is that?



Koine2002, If you'd like the benefit of my experience:

Did it, it was worth it, moved on, still friends. Awkward for a bit, but I would have ALWAYS wondered. Now its out of my system.

No regrets. Pursue it, see where it leads. No regrets or lingering questions about "what if". In other words, hit it.

....You're way to young too get married....Why is that?Well... not so much an age thing, but more of experience. Because back in my day, we would've encountered and dealt with this situation way back in 6th grade... We learned to drive cars at 10-11 years old. Kids had responsibilities and were working to grow and gather food for the family by the time they're 13-14 years old. We didn't have luxuries of finding "perfect" solutions and being stuck in analysis paralysis. When something came up, you faced it head-on, dealt with it and moved onto the new path life gives you. As others have said, his life has already been altered, there's no way to go back to where things were, it's all new territory now and it must be acknowledged and new ways of being and behaving needs to be adopted.

A lot of times, these are not isolated relationships. Kids grow up with lots of "friends" and eventually instincts, emotions and mother-nature takes its course. One guy may want to preserve the status-quo and resist the urges, and most of the time, the chic just ends up hooking up with some other guy "friend" that wasn't so hesitant. She's "ready" and ripe for the picking, and if he doesn't make the move, she's gonna find someone that will. Look up oxytocin (http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=oxytocin+love+hormone&ei=UTF-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:unofficial) and how it creates emotional bonds in a woman, and nothing activates it stronger than a screaming ORGASM (and perhaps childbirth). Boyfriends will always have priority over "friends" and he's gonna lose her to some other guy if he doesn't HIT IT and quickly too! Here's two very common paths that occurs:

1. He plays "nice" guy and she goes off to school. Since they're just "friends", she'll encounter all sorts opportunities and will end up hooking up with an energetic fun guy at school and he'll feel left out and resentful. The rhino will still be sitting there in the room when she comes home for break, "Well, I didn't think we had anything going on...", "but you never said you wanted that...".. pffftt...

2. He HITS IT GOOD and sends her off in style with the biggest grin on her face ever! When she's off at school, she'll think about him constantly, she'll yearn to be back in his arms and they'll send cute little notes back and forth; love occurs during the times that you're apart. They'll make efforts to visit and get together during holidays and birthdays, etc. When she meets other guys, she'll still have him in the back of her mind and think, "well, this guy isn't as good as the one I've got back home..."

1. He plays "nice" guy and she goes off to school. Since they're just "friends", she'll encounter all sorts opportunities and will end up hooking up with an energetic fun guy at school and he'll feel left out and resentful. The rhino will still be sitting there in the room when she comes home for break, "Well, I didn't think we had anything going on...", "but you never said you wanted that...".. pffftt...

2. He HITS IT GOOD and sends her off in style with the biggest grin on her face ever! When she's off at school, she'll think about him constantly, she'll yearn to be back in his arms and they'll send cute little notes back and forth; love occurs during the times that you're apart. They'll make efforts to visit and get together during holidays and birthdays, etc. When she meets other guys, she'll still have him in the back of her mind and think, "well, this guy isn't as good as the one I've got back home..."

Have to go for the latter of the two. I played the first ("nice guy") and lost out on an opportunity I regret I never took advantage of. yes I'm young, but I realized what an opportunity I missed. Whether something would have come from it or not, who knows, but I only have one regret, and that would be it... If you think you might regret not doing anything before they leave for school, chances are you will when they finally leave and you should do something about it now.

Here's another interesting view on time. Many people live in the past and are stuck in it. For example, many WWII holocaust victims are completely demolished and live as an empty shallow shell of a human afterwards for the rest of their lives. They are still and continually oppressed by their memories of what happened and are still trapped and emprisoned by German guards that have long left their lives. Others come out of the camps as re-born powerful people, like Victor Frankl. They may actually come out even more energetic and revitalized than when they went in. They truly realize how short and precious life really is and they're gonna make the most of what they have left. They write books, hold seminars, give lectures, build businesses from their experience and create great results in the world. It's all a matter of ATTITUDE and how you look at things.

So for the OP, this "history" with the girl is in the past, it's done with, it's over, absolutely NOTHING you can possibly do now or in the future will change your past. The memories of the good times you've had will ALWAYS be there regardless of what happens in the future. So DON'T let the past and history dictate your future, The past is but a memory.

On the other hand, the future is what you invent and yearn for. You go off into that dreamy state and envision what life COULD be like, there are endless possibilities. The future is but a dream.

The thing that creates this future dream is WHAT YOU DO RIGHT NOW! Yes, it's good to have goals in the future and do THINGS RIGHT NOW that will take you a step further down that path that will get you to the future dream. It's NOT the past, but what you do RIGHT NOW that creates the future. TODAY is a gift, that's why it's called the PRESENT.

So, make the most of today, throw your hat in the ring and claim your future with her, HIT IT HARD NOW !!! :)

please just do it. :eek: take it from a dude old enough to know.