General Cycling Discussion - Favorite LBS Quote

I heard this the following one today, and I agree with it completely. If you are taking your bike to an LBS for service there is a very good chance that the wrench knows a lot more than you.

"Half the people who come in here listen to me. The other half look at the internet and think they know everything." -- Alberts, professional bike mechanic since 1949.


What's your favorite LBS quote? BTW, if you'd like to bash the LBS please start another thread. Thanks.

With respect, if you only wanted postive quotes from LBSs, maybe you should have named the thread "Favorite Positive LBS Quotes"?

"Adjusting the rider's position is good for cyclists but selling a guy a new seat every once in a while pays the rent."

This LBS carries all of the latest and greatest saddles, but when you talk to the owner he will always recommend one of the Brooks. He will take it back if you are not happy with it. He will adjust it for you, will tweak it for you. He has been in business since the 70's. Great store.

But lots of cyclist come in, know what they want, and he is more than happy to sell them the "latest and greatest".

Welcome to Walmart

:eek:

"You have DSOT, that'll be 15% more for the repair"

"Gee we tried to call you but you never answered," despite the fact that I have voice mail, caller id and call waiting.:rolleyes:

:roflmao:
Welcome to Walmart

:roflmao:

"Gee we tried to call you but you never answered," despite the fact that I have voice mail, caller id and call waiting.:rolleyes:


"You have DSOT, that'll be 15% more for the repair"

Thanks for keeping it positive.....:rolleyes:

"Aren't you a little young for a Brooks saddle?"

I asked if they had the B17 in stock, they thought Brooks saddles were only for old hippies touring across the continent. I ended up getting great service though.

"You have DSOT, that'll be 15% more for the repair"
WTF is DSOT?

WTF is DSOT?WTH is WTF? And DSOT too?

I figured out "WTF", but still can't interpret "DSOT." My first guess for "DS" is something to do with "unintelligent dufication."

Metal rolling around inside my crooked rim, spokes that can be squeezed nearly touching one another and the LBS guy says,"it's supposed to be that way".WTF?

Draggin my bike across the floor while the rear wheel is skidding. Just payed the shop to install new brake levers on a bike. LBS guy looks at me and says,"you must have banged the bike on something".WTF?

Bought a new Cannodale roadbike. Rode it one mile and realized the bottombracket was loose. SO I took it back to the shop. Mechanic puts the bike in the stand, clamps it and crunch! He just looked at me and said,"oops!".WTF?

Favorite LBS words: What else can I do for you?

Favorite answer: Get the hell away from me!:D

Thanks for keeping it positive.....:rolleyes:
Those were the positive quotes. You don't want to hear the negative.

"We don't have the tools for that anymore... "

I hear that a lot when I drag either of my older (vintage early '80s) bikes into an LBS. Generally I know what I want, I know how and have the tools to fix it... but when I am asking if they have the part, I tend to be shown some modern version of it... whereupon I show them the bike and point to the part I really want.

I learned long ago (the hard way) that bike shops come and go, but bikes can live forever... therefore buy the tool the day you buy the part... 'cause there is a good chance the LBS that sold it to you will be long gone by the time you need to service that part.

Welcome to Walmart

:eek:


*thud!* (Siu just passed out on the floor)

yeah but what's DSOT?


OK, one good comment from one LBS about how roadracers/seasonal riders might as well be biking on a different planet from commuters/year-rounders.

And another line from the 1st shop in town I went to: 'That's not worth fixing, our new bikes are going on sale in 3 months, though!'

WTF is DSOT?

http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/DSOT

"We don't have the tools for that anymore... "

I hear that a lot when I drag either of my older (vintage early '80s) bikes into an LBS. Generally I know what I want, I know how and have the tools to fix it... but when I am asking if they have the part, I tend to be shown some modern version of it... whereupon I show them the bike and point to the part I really want.

I learned long ago (the hard way) that bike shops come and go, but bikes can live forever... therefore buy the tool the day you buy the part... 'cause there is a good chance the LBS that sold it to you will be long gone by the time you need to service that part.

Why can't all parts use the same 5/16" allen screw? Or quick release. Let's just put quick releases on everything.

Why can't all parts use the same 5/16" allen screw?
Is this sarcasm, or do you really want an answer?

http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/DSOT


DSOT Daily System Operability Test
DSOT Delicate Sound of Thunder (Pink Floyd live album)


ah.

DSOT Daily System Operability Test
DSOT Delicate Sound of Thunder (Pink Floyd live album)


ah.


cripes already

"Dog $hit On Tire"

worth 15% markup for any bike repair, or refusal

My fave LBS quotes (and I hear them often):

Where did you get THAT?

You bought it for HOW MUCH?

Any chance of getting ANOTHER?

Let ME know when you get ready to sell it!!!

Here's one I get pretty much any time I need anything other than a tube..

"Uhhhhh, no. But I can order it."

"your bike is upside down, i don't know what to do with an upside down bike"

Here's one I get pretty much any time I need anything other than a tube..

"Uhhhhh, no. But I can order it."

Yeah, I hear that one too... The stupid thing is... I can order it too. And since I am paying for shipping, I can expedite it... AND get it right to my front door.

Sorry brick and mortar shop, but have you ever heard of the internet... sheesh.

Yeah, I hear that one too... The stupid thing is... I can order it too. And since I am paying for shipping, I can expedite it... AND get it right to my front door.

Sorry brick and mortar shop, but have you ever heard of the internet... sheesh.What would you rather have us say instead? It's our job to offer to do special orders for you. It's not meant as an insult to your intelligence or anything.

What would you rather have us say instead? It's our job to offer to do special orders for you. It's not meant as an insult to your intelligence or anything.

"Sorry, we don't stock that."

The problem is that I make the trip to the LBS in hopes that I can have that part right now. The LBS doesn't stock the part, so sure they can order it... but so can I... so what's the point. If I order it, it comes right to my door. If the LBS orders it, I have to go get it, at their location, on their schedule.

I know it is not meant as an insult, but in this day and age... with the internet, "I can order it" doesn't mean a thing.

BTW the last LBS that "ordered" something for me waited until they had a "complete order" to give their vendor... thus my part (that I could have ordered) took three weeks to get from the LBS. I would have had the part in a week... had I ordered it.

" Thank you for calling Bike Nashbar! How may I help you?"

"I've got one at home, give me a day or two to find it" whenever I ask Bill at my LBS for some obscure Italian or French part for one of my old bikes. He always comes through, sometimes he makes what I need. Whenever I'm in the shop, I check out the bikes that are hanging up waiting for repairs. Like going to a vintage bike show. Don

"Sorry, we don't stock that."

The problem is that I make the trip to the LBS in hopes that I can have that part right now. The LBS doesn't stock the part, so sure they can order it... but so can I... so what's the point. If I order it, it comes right to my door. If the LBS orders it, I have to go get it, at their location, on their schedule.

I know it is not meant as an insult, but in this day and age... with the internet, "I can order it" doesn't mean a thing.

BTW the last LBS that "ordered" something for me waited until they had a "complete order" to give their vendor... thus my part (that I could have ordered) took three weeks to get from the LBS. I would have had the part in a week... had I ordered it.My advice: call ahead and find out if the LBS has your "hot-button" item(s), instead of making a trip and being disappointed. If you do order the item from the LBS, one benefit that you get is that if there's something wrong with it, you can expect them to try to take care of it, and if they do have any in stock, they're probably going to swap your bad tire/cyclocomputer/whatever for a good one and send you on your way happy, while they put your bad one in the warranty bin.

Anyway, my favorite LBS quotes are stuff along the lines of...

"ohmigosh, it's beautiful!"

"It works perfectly now! How'd you do that?!"

"it's already done?!"


Then there are the ones that start with "Well, I was Just Riding Along, when..." ;)

Then there are the ones that start with "Well, I was Just Riding Along, when..." ;)

One of my best friends little brothers used to work summers in his dad's TV repair shop. He would charge them a hidden $5 lying fee when they said things like that.

One morning going for a second test ride: "Go bond with it. Bring it back after lunch and before closing." Funny, that's the one I bought.

"We'll have to special order it"
"We'll have to special order that too"
"Oh yeah, we can fit you in about 3 weeks from now"

Consequently, you can guess which half I'm in.


Edit: re-reading the other comments I should add: these really are my favorites and are actually quite positive, too...they're precisely what convinced me to learn how to do my own wrenching and not be dependent on the LBS. If my items are so rare as to be perpetually out-of-stock, and they're so backed up with other work that they can't fit me in, they clearly don't need my business anyway.

"Gee we tried to call you but you never answered," despite the fact that I have voice mail, caller id and call waiting.:rolleyes:
This would be the guy that just hits the call sender button, then wants to know why we called him. I don't care how much of this "wizardry" you have, you guys either don't check for messages or don't listen to them. Then we get to say the same **** twice(as well as listiening to the automated messaging the first time, that runs a minute to a minute and a half)

Also "I need a tune up and new tires and I am moving to NYC tomorrow morning so I need it tonight"(at lunch time in august, and we managed to do it, no thanks of course.
"I can get from Nashbar for $20.00" Well thanks to the internet I can look while you are in the store, yes the model below the one you want is $20.00 and they will charge $4.95 to get it to you late this week. We have the one one want now for $25.00 (Remember, not the same thing as the one on line in the first place)
"You guys are not keeping me in the loop on my repair" What the **** do you want? I told you it would be ready on Saturday. It is now Thursday. Do you want me to call you each day until Saturday to tell you it is not ready?
"I brought this in three weeks ago for a flat and now the deraileur has shifted into the spokes. It is all your fault" This from the guy that banged on the door until we let him in(half hour after closing) then *****ed because we wanted him to leave it, so we fixed while he waited(and we waited to go home) then *****ed about the $15 to fix his flat(Same we charge everyone). Turns out we fixed the front tire. Oh well.
"Why don't you stock every seat on every seatpost size so I can try them all out before ordering one online.?"
"Why aren't you guys open from six am until midnite"
"What idiot would pay more than $300 for a bike?" I don't know, the one you are talking to maybe.
"Bikeforums said this was real easy to do, but I am busy so I took it apart to make it easier for you. Most of the parts are in this box. I will be back to pick it up in twenty minutes"
"So this is warranty right" Well it would have been three years ago, if you had not backed over it with your car.
"Sorry to interupt your lunch(But I am still going to pick your brain so I can buy some **** online"
"It has a creak(or skips), but I can give you no help as to when or under what conditions it happens"
"I am going to leave my child that screams a lot and likes to ring bells here while I get my nails done"
"I bought this online and got the wrong one but you guys will trade me even for the right one, even tho I do not have the box, packaging, or even a packing slip to show what I paid for it."
"Can I use your bathroom? ((And piss ALL over the floor)This happens all the time)"
"Why don't you have any $200 road bikes? WalMart does"
"I don't know why that check didn't clear"
"I don't know why my credit card was declined"
"I don't know how those gloves/computer/glasses got in my pocket"
"You don't mind staying open an extra hour on Saturday while I try on some stuff I plan to buy online, right?"

Recently, I visited 15 LBSs... that's pretty much the sum total of every one within riding distance of here. At each shop, I asked the same question:

"I would like to buy some good quality, strong 700C wheels. I carry heavy loads daily - trailer and panniers - and I'm a heavy guy <point to gut>. Preferably 36-spoke touring wheels. What have you got?"

The replies I can remember:
"Oh, no we don't really sell strong wheels"

"How about these" (showing me some 20-spoke carbon fiber racing wheels)

"We can order them in for you"

"These are probably the strongest wheels you will find anywhere" (showing me the wheels that come with their cheapest low-end hybrid)

and the old favourite
"What do you want them for?"


One LBS owner was very helpful, and showed me a selection of rims, hubs and talked to me about spokes. He was the only guy who had a wide selection of hubs and rims in stock. His reply:
"We don't really carry too many pre-built wheelsets, as everybody needs something different. I'm happy to build something up to your specifications as soon as you need them. Here's what I would recommend."

Bingo!

My favorite -

Young New Shop Employee(to wiser older shop employee): "Hey man, you have to show me how you sell so many bikes."

wiser older shop employee: "Uhhh...it's not a competition."(back to me) "So we're down to these three seatposts that I carry in house that meet what you've told me you are looking for."

Me: "I think I'm going to go with this aluminum brand"X" one. I like the carbon one, the Thompson is beautiful, but this one is all I really need."

wiser older shop employee:"I think you're making a good choice. Those other posts are nice, but I still think a good quality Aluminum seatpost, stem and bars just can't be beat. Let me see if there's anything I can do for you on the price. Is there anything else you needed?"

here's some i've been using from behind the parts counter

"Brakes? they're overrated.......they just SLOW YOU DOWN..."


"Is that Shampagnolo?"

"This looks like some crazy German valve."

cripes already

"Dog $hit On Tire"

worth 15% markup for any bike repair, or refusal
Oh okay... thanks :o

"This looks like some crazy German valve."
Ha, Ha. I tried to get Sheldon Brown to correct his entry on the Woods Valve (also known as Dunlop) on his wonderful glossary (http://www.sheldonbrown.com/gloss_w.html) but so far - no recognition that that the "crazy German valve" is still the standard valve on millions of bikes currently sold in Germany and The Netherlands and I don't know where else.

At least my LBS humors me when they see 'em. Also I am happy to say the excellent LBS (Bickels in Burlington) is happy to order obscure SRAM gear shifting mechanism parts that I can NOT buy on the Internet. And gets them for me in a few days too. I don't expect them to stock parts for the one customer in a 200 mile range who even knows what the part are for.

It will be ready tomorrow afternoon. It always is.

David

This would be the guy that just hits the call sender button, then wants to know why we called him. I don't care how much of this "wizardry" you have, you guys either don't check for messages or don't listen to them. Then we get to say the same **** twice(as well as listiening to the automated messaging the first time, that runs a minute to a minute and a half)
Sorry, I check my messages and caller ID - no call from the salesgirl at the LBS.

By the same token, the mechanic at the shop told me to bring my bike and my tools and he would teach me to some of my own repairs for no cost. His quote, "You don't need me to fix that, you can do it yourself. I'll show you how."

This shop also has many things I look at on Nashbar or Performance for a lower price.

"Why don't you go and get some coffee, it should be done by the time you come back"

"Hey tell you what. You're gonna need a pump shock for that. I'll put one in your bag."

"Sorry that this took so long, I spent X hours doing and redoing it just right. Oh...no charge, you had to wait so long."

-Chong, Bikes For Life, Antioch, Calilfornia

"Dog $hit On Tire"

worth 15% markup for any bike repair, or refusal
Oh okay... thanks :o
See, and here I was thinking
Dude Stands Over Technician, or better, Dumb*ss Stands Over Technician.

But I can see where they'd all be bad. :D

A seat clamp for a dual rail Brooks? Ha!

What I hear every time I walk into my bike shop, which is 3-4x a week, is "Hey, Man, where've you been? What do you need? How about a cup of coffee? No? How about a bottle of water? How's the wife? How's the kid?" and all of these questions are while he's shaking my hand like a long lost friend.

I feel sorry that some of you guys have to deal with a$$holes or maybe some of your local shops have a$$holes for customers..

Dennis

Yeah I feel bad for all of you w/ lousy LBSs. Then again it helps if your good buddy is also the head wrench:D .

I asked to have some frame prep work done (reaming, polishing, braze-ons etc.) as I didn't have the time. When I asked how much he wanted and how long he would need, what day etc., He responds with "Leave it here now, I'll call in 2 hours when its done and toss a case of Bud on my porch, call shiz even". Can't go wrong with that. And the workmanship was flawless.

And of course I'll order from them. I may pay more and have to wait then go get it, but this LBS sponsors tons of local rides/races, builds and maintains bike paths and trails, lets me use/borrow tools, and the employees are a blast to hang out with. They treated me this way from day one.

Keep looking, there are still a slew of fantastic shops out there.

Craig

I would not call the guys in my local shops "a$$holes", because most of them are actually pretty cool and have always treated me nicely. But it's frustrating that they don't stock what I thought would be common stuff (shifters, derailleurs, etc.). And also the wait time during peak season -- forget that...I ride almost every day. I need to have my rig working right all the time and as I said before if they're that backed up with work, they probably don't really "need" my business anyway.

I will say this: I definitely think it's lame to burn a shop guy's time/knowledge and then go buy something online. If you're going to ask for parts or repair advice, I think you kind of owe it to them to purchase something there (or at least toss 'em a 6-pack or a nice tip or something). 'cause they probably ain't getting rich doing repair work.

It's not a hate thing with me, I just don't like to be without my bike, don't like to be so dependent on someone else. Most repair work is not that difficult if you have some patience, mechanical aptitude, and the right tools.