General Cycling Discussion - (Rant/Ride involved)Please don't let your kids use obsenities.

I was in Boston today doing some urban riding. Waiting for a light to change in order to carry on with riding. Standing right next to me are two 6 year old girls. I thought they were just beeing normal until I hear one of them speak out a string of obsenities.:eek: :eek: I did not know what to say, I was in a state of shock. How would have you responded?

I would probably have reacted the same way that you did. I would have been completely speechless.

Nothing you say to the parents of these children would convince them to teach their children any differently.

If they care so little about their kids behaviour as to let them come out with that kind of language, they're hardly going to listen to any protests from a passing cyclist.

I do wonder sometimes why some people bothre having kids if they can't be bothered trying to bring them up with a little respect. (MY RANT OVER)

Unfortunately, this is not really news to me. Parents around here have a habit of teaching their kids to not only swear, but I recall at Springbrook one day (not a place where I normally get abused) a parent was encouraging her child to shout abuse at me. Of course, I also have a neighbour who delights in telling her baby to "f**k off".

As I said in another thread some time ago, parents like this should have their children taken from them and raised by people who know what they are doing.

It's not the kids fault- they are raised by parents who themselves have no concentration span.

One day, we were at a restaurant, and this family was there with a12 or 13 year old boy. I've seen them around my neighborhood, and the mother looks like a skank, to be honest. Anyways, the boy let out this huge, enormous burp which was just disgusting. I was aghast, but the moron mother and her friend laughed! If my sister or I had done that in a restaurant, we would have been given such a blast! At home, fine, we used to do all kinds of things at dinner, but in public! And we're all supposed to think it's cute. I just glared at them, but it didn't make any difference.

that's sad.

While I am not usually offended by obscenities, I do find that the majority of time, liberal use of obscenities seem to indicate lack of intelligence or verbal skills. In other words, I've found that people who tend to just throw out obscenities within the course of normal conversation do so because they lack the capability to construct proper sentences. IMHO, this is the bigger problem with little kids who swear. Sure there's the disrespect and the fact that someone might be offended but I have to wonder if it's not also hampering their mental growth.

I think it's definitely laziness, the same laziness that has parents not teaching their kids basic manners or courtesy. How can they. Most of them don't have those skills either!

As for the kid in the restaurant, I see him and his mother around the neighborhood, and usually try to avoid them.

Originally posted by wabbit
It's not the kids fault- they are raised by parents who themselves have no concentration span.

When I suggested removing children from incompetent parents, I was thinking purely of the welfare of the child. I could care less about the parents.

I've heard little kids say some of the dirtiest things I've ever heard in my life. In fact, it has caused me phsycological problems, I need a therapist...;) I have chastised myself before because of my bad humor and language.. But I'm nothing compared to what these little kids were orchestrating.

First, are you certain they were 6 years old?

Second, all of you with kids out there, you would be surprised at what your own kids can say when you're not around.

Be particularly aware of children with older siblings. I remmeber my younger brother (2 years younger than me) teaching my sister (7 years younger) all sorts of swear words. He thought it was funny. She liked it because she got a reaction.

Its normal here.All you have to do is here the parents and that will answer your ?'s why the kids talk like that.

Originally posted by danka24
I did not know what to say, I was in a state of shock. How would have you responded?

I wouldn't have responded at all.

I'm rarely taken aback by the profanity even young children manage to spew nowadays because it is so seemingly pedestrian. Either way, while it may or may not be acceptable for me to say something to them or their parents, why would I? I'd rather just mind my own business than get the inevitable 'Who are you to tell me how to raise MY children' baloney. Why ruin a good ride or nice day with that?

I was walking down the hall of the NASA research institute where I work a couple of weeks ago when I turned a corner to hear the most profane language coming out of the mouth of a very well-dressed female manager. Her co-worker was clearly mortified that she was so public about her language, which was neither angry nor upset but rather injected into what should have been a normal conversation. Yet every other word was f-this or bull**** that or motherf*** him... It was truly stunning that someone who so obviously was supposed to be a professional was using such profane language so publicly.

I think of people like her and I don't wonder how kids like the ones you're talking about end up using such language publicly and/or around strangers.

Originally posted by khuon
While I am not usually offended by obscenities, I do find that the majority of time, liberal use of obscenities seem to indicate lack of intelligence or verbal skills. In other words, I've found that people who tend to just throw out obscenities within the course of normal conversation do so because they lack the capability to construct proper sentences.

I think you're talking about adults, right? Because the reasons children and adults swear are pretty different, IMHO.

I think a lot of adults throw out obscenities in normal conversation where it clearly is inappropriate most of the time are just clueless. When I think about how little most people pay attention to what's going on around them that could simply kill them or someone else (not just during driving, either), it makes it much clearer to me that this could be the case with many adults.

I think kids often swear because they mimic adults and not just their parents. So many adults swear around children, it's pedestrian and children pick up that it is.

I disagree with Erick's comment. As a responsible parent (yes, I am bold enough to make that claim) I know my kids well enough to know what kind of language they use. My wife and I both care enough to teach our kids manners. My six year old daughter has enough sense to know when a word is not proper and has asked us about a few words she has heard. In my view a person's choice of language says a lot about them, even their level of intelligence.

I used to have a job where I worked with children and young adults (a pastor in charge of youth). I would have said something to the girls. Even if they took it in a bad way there would have been some influence on them.

Ain't dat sometin!

Originally posted by Erick L
First, are you certain they were 6 years old?

Second, all of you with kids out there, you would be surprised at what your own kids can say when you're not around.

Very sure.

Originally posted by wabbit
I think it's definitely laziness, the same laziness that has parents not teaching their kids basic manners or courtesy. How can they. Most of them don't have those skills either!

It isn't laziness in the teaching part of manners, IMHO. It's laziness in correcting children when they violate the rules of manners and politeness. Most parents don't want to be bothered. I mean, all you have to do is look at how much true quality time parents typically spend with even very young children to see how they just let stuff like that slide.

Many parents also feel it is a personal afront when someone else corrects their children's behavior. I think it's pretty clear that's why other adults tend to not correct children when they misbehave or even to bring it to the attention of the parent: they don't want a confrontation or to be yelled at for simply being the messenger.

Good for you Tree Trunk. 6 years old is young for this knid of language. That's why I asked if Danka was sure about their age. There's a whole worls between 6 and 8. They could get that from other kids, other parents, TV, who knows? I don't know how I talked at 6 but I remember using a fare share of swearing by 10 (just around friends, but I'm sure adults overheard us a few times). It didn't stop me from being a first class student. I was well raised (well, I think), my parents never cursed. Maybe the girls in question were just "having fun". I have to say that using this language in public, as Wabbit says, is downright disrespectul and there might be a problem with their education but I also think we're a bit quick on the judgement.

Originally posted by Erick L
I have to say that using this language in public, as Wabbit says, is downright disrespectul and there might be a problem with their education but I also think we're a bit quick on the judgement.

People make mistakes. People drop f-bombs on accident. While I was a firefighter, it happened too often that I would forget where I was and allow my station language creep into the language of my life outside the station.

But people should also know when they've dropped a profanity that has offended someone who has heard it and at the very least make a concerted effort to not do it again and (more appropriately) apologize. That's part of being a socially mature adult: realizing where you are, who you're with, and having consideration for those around you.

In the end, though, this is preaching to the converted. People who swear without care in public aren't going to listen to this sort of stuff I'm talking about. In fact, I've actually heard some of the more immature 'adults' I've met in my life argue that it is whole appropriate to use such language anywhere in public, hiding being the dubious and irrelevant notion that 'everyone says stuff like that, so I'm just being more real than them' or some such rubbish!

I am horrified myself these days the problem of kids having kids if you know what I mean the age range 14-18 year old girls who can't even look after themselves never mind a baby!!! but they seem to be able to drain the welfare state dry and have everything that they want the kid seems like a meal ticket for many years to come!!! this has the problem of history repeating itself so things never really get ne better!!! I am very wary of kids when I am out on my bike you just don't know what they are going to do or what their intentions might be!!! I blame lack of education and poverty!!! My gran refers to them as the little darlings of today :rolleyes:

Dan that is truly sad that those little girls spoke in such a manner. And the parents of those children should have doen something to correct it. Shame on them for not doing so and it does make other people think that they are not good parents for letting the girls speak that way.

You did not mention where the parents or adults responsible for the gilrs were at. Were they with the girls? If they were how close were they paying attention to them?

Also was obcenities directed at you? If they were not I don't think is a whole lot you could have done. If it was then, yes by all means you should have said something, once you got over the initial shock of it all.

I have never heard kids that young speak in such a way. Of course most kids I have seen that young have a very responsible adult with them. I think the youngest kid I have ever heard speak in such a manner was about 12 or 13. And he was a boy, trying to act like a man. Needless to say he did not impress anyone except his buddies. And they were all acting that way. You know what I mean.

I think that part of the way kids speak has something, not everything to do with what area of the country they live in. Not to put a stereotype on one part of the country or another. But it seems that in differant areas the values that are taught to kids are differant then in others.

Here in the midwest we usually do not teach our young kids to speak that way, nor do the parents allow it if it is heard. Maybe in other areas that is differant. From learning about your experience it would seem that way to me. Now does it happen here in the midwest? Probably. But its more likly to happen in a place like Chicago or Des Moines then a smaller town like LeMars or even Sioux City.

Originally posted by N_C
Here in the midwest we usually do not teach our young kids to speak that way,.....

...nor does any other parent with half-a-brain wherever they might live.


...nor do the parents allow it if it is heard.

... and that is just pure baloney: you're just as likely to hear and see moron parents in Sioux City as you are in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Indianapolis, or Tallahassee. The Midwest isn't blessed by gawd or anyone else with significantly better parenting skills because they happen to live there.

Let's not get carried away with implying people are better or worse parents based on geography. Parents in the Midwest are just as full of crap and are as good/bad parents as here in the Bay Area or anywhere else. The only people who 'teach (their) young kids to speak that way' are imbeciles and that has nothing to do with geography.

Thats for sure,plenty of screwed up parents to go around every state.

Another place kids pick up bad language is movies. Some people just don't care what they let their kids watch! I once went to a Stephen King movie, rated R (I hate Stephen King, but the premise of the movie sounded cool) and was surprised to see a couple of familes with kids running around playing in the aisles--from preschoolers up to about 7, they looked--while two women were screaming, swearing, and slashing each other up with butcher knives onscreen....

I think someone needs to be devil's advocate for just a sec and say something in defense of SOME parents. I have heard too many horror stories from friends about their kids getting off the bus one day and ripping off some stream of gutter talk, and the helplessness they feel knowing that their kids were getting an education on the bus and not just in the classroom. Even if you instill a sense of what's allowable and what's not, just being around people can sometimes be an influence to kids, especially the younger ones. You can't always control what your kids absorb, but it's your fault if you don't immediately let them know what isn't going to be tolerated.

Way to little parent blame if you ask me.It seems that they just want to screw,deliver and let everyone else raise the kids.I work in the school district and we bend over backwards for them and the get pissed because we dont change diapers.

I think the truth is somewhere between the two. Parents can't keep an eye on their kids every minute of the day, but these days many parents seem to be parenting by remote control. My sister teaches in an elementary school and she says about half the kids are on ritalin. I think ADD and ADHD are the result of sh**y parenting, total lack of discipline, too much junk food and almost no exercise. Is it any wonder oversugared kids who spend their time in front of the Sega have no concentration span? Not to mention that their own parents grew up in front of the tv and also have no concentration span. Then, they send their kids to school and expect them to sit still. How?

Wabbit,
[semi-offtopic]Too many kids ARE on Ritalin for a mistaken diagnosis of ADD/ADHD, but do not assume that this disease is caused by those things. Those things do cause problems that LOOK like ADD, but ADD/ADHD are real. I have VERY close personal knowledge of this. But, you are right, GOOD parents would recognize a problem and try EVERYTHING to resolve the problems, BEFORE putting the kids on drugs.[/semi-offtopic][on-topic]...

I wouldn't sweat it that much. I remember going through periods as a kid where I swore a lot as a form of rebellion. Just a phase. Maybe that's what these kids were doing.

I'm with Brillig to a point. I went through the very same phase when I was a late teen-ager, but mainly it was confined to the times when I was around my friends and rarely when around general public.
On the other hand I get my hackles up when I hear a bunch of 10 year olds and younger swearing like sailors on shore leave.
I don't want to sound like the Moral Majority here, but surely some of it stems from the fact that we are seeing more and more explicit language allowed in mediums such as the movies and especially music. The envelope is constantly being pushed. We have heard the f word in movies so much anymore that we probably don't even notice it that much when it happens.