Foo - The Ex has found me. Sort Of.

ugh. i suppose my internet ramblings and/or blog postings have gotten me some good exposure in the cycling scene here, but with that comes the almighty google indexing search engine. i've tried to remain somewhat anon by not listing my full name on my site, but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

whatever prompted the contact; i still find strange that she's initiated contact. a couple years ago she found my sister who did not reply. it's been about six years since we parted ways.

i let sleeping dogs lie. what to do now? lend me advice if you will.

i'd rather not follow up. she's a nice gal who i'm sure means well. but i just don't want to deal with it; nor do i care to talk about what's been goin' on, etc. and now i'm forced to make a decision to reply or not and if i reply there's probably some expectation to keep a running dialog which i don't want either.

good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?

geeze...what was her comment?

geeze...what was her comment?

oh! nothing antagonistic or anything. it was "Pls shoot me an Email; Would love to hear from you!"

it just surprised me and i don't know what to do now. i am quite weirded out, however.

Put her on "ignore". Oh. That's Bike Forums.

If you are even asking, there is a little doubt. If there is doubt, there is a reason that you may not even realise yet. I say go by your women's intuition. Uh...MEN'S intuition. :)

STAY AWWWAAAAAAY!!! :eek: :D

My "EX" knows where to find me....writing the checks for alimony:fight: :p Actually it wasn't THAT bad.

I would ignore the contact.

Aaron:)

She must have you confused with another bigskymacadam. :p ;) ;)

ugh. i've tried to remain somewhat anon but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

i still find strange

she found my sister who did not reply.

i let sleeping dogs lie.

i'd rather not follow up.

but i just don't want to deal with it;

i'm forced to make a decision to reply

probably some expectation to keep a running dialog

which i don't want either.



Take your take?

oh! nothing antagonistic or anything. it was "Pls shoot me an Email; Would love to hear from you!"

it just surprised me and i don't know what to do now. i am quite weirded out, however.
:lol: she asked you to shoot her an email not to marry you!
she wants to hear from you, no biggie! say hello, that's all!
noone is forcing you to keep a dialogue! and if she does, then you can handle that problem for so far she only said hi! :)

was she ever clingy or needy or nasty to you?

I think you had it right the first time... let sleeping dogs lie.

Yeah don't open any can of worms. :eek:

You can always create a throw-away email account to contact her if you feel the need. The question really is, do you feel the need?

I'd say to ignore it and do not respond. Things have a bad habit of worsening in a downward spiral.

I think you had it right the first time... let sleeping dogs lie.
+1


Not the same, but I can relate to your feelings. I remember a long term relationship I had with a woman for 2 years....we finally parted (I dumped the crazy biatch). Out of the blue, I had an phone message on my answering machine (new unlisted number which she was not given) from her "just saying hi and call me some time".

I DID NOT CALL....AND AM GLAD I DID NOT!

Let it lay.

My ex dropped by outside my apartment recently after like two years of silence. She asked why I lived here and I said "because it's 5 minutes from my work and it's affordable." I said "Bye" and went inside. I hope it's about 30 or 40 more years before I hear another peep out of her. I wish her well, but have no desire whatsoever to have any contact with her.

My advice is move on and ignore the e-mail.

Im always the softy... no wonder why i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.:rolleyes:

ugh. i suppose my internet ramblings and/or blog postings have gotten me some good exposure in the cycling scene here, but with that comes the almighty google indexing search engine. i've tried to remain somewhat anon by not listing my full name on my site, but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

whatever prompted the contact; i still find strange that she's initiated contact. a couple years ago she found my sister who did not reply. it's been about six years since we parted ways.

i let sleeping dogs lie. what to do now? lend me advice if you will.

i'd rather not follow up. she's a nice gal who i'm sure means well. but i just don't want to deal with it; nor do i care to talk about what's been goin' on, etc. and now i'm forced to make a decision to reply or not and if i reply there's probably some expectation to keep a running dialog which i don't want either.

good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?
If you ignore her, she'll get the message you don't want to reopen any dialogue with her, or that your blog isn't you! Either way, it's a positive outcome if you truly don't want to open up that can of worms again. You broke up for a reason after all!

Im always the softy... no wonder why i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.:rolleyes:

Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea. :eek:

thank you all for giving me some perspective on this. another reason why foo's rule!

blondgirl, she used to be jealous and needy for lack of better words; but even that sounds extreme. i guess i'm always the glass half-full guy :) which gets me into trouble too sometimes!!! haha

edit: she did follow up with another rather innocent request, "Do you or (insertwife'snamehere) have a myspace.com account?" ... i'm sure to add me to her friends list. yeah, i'll shoot for a top eight here! and for the record, no i don't have an account. alrighty, no contact-a-mundo.

good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?

Dude, I have been on the web since like 94, on the Internet itself even longer...visibility and exposure of basic personal details comes with the territory. If you want privacy, don't mess around on the Internet. In my case, I accept that I am 'out there' and frankly, I see no reason to hide. But, there is good reason for most folks to hide...and there are things you can do to minimize your profile if you insist on being 'online'. Junk email account for all online registrations helps. Don't keep a blog or a myspace or a personal web site, avoid posting any personal details in forums like this, newsgroups or other communities. Find a dark hole and crawl in it, covering yourself after you do...maybe a nice bunker with lots of plastic and duct tape. :D

Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea. :eek:


euro...Yucchhh

Blog and forum surf under a pseudonym and NEVER reveal your "Secret Identity"!http://x1.putfile.com/8/21511152451.gif

i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.:rolleyes:

Wanna make a bet? :roflmao:

Create a throw away email and send a message saying "do I know you?"

:lol: she asked you to shoot her an email not to marry you!
she wants to hear from you, no biggie! say hello, that's all!
noone is forcing you to keep a dialogue! and if she does, then you can handle that problem for so far she only said hi! :)

haha...ahhh yes THAT Point of View. Personally, if my ex contacted me I would be very aprehensive. She was nuts and caused me more grief than....well...it was all grief.

If she wasn't a nut and you guys were friends before, its possible she wants to be friends after. I know from experience, I can't...and I mean can't...be friends with ex's. The sex always gets in the way and it always ended in a mess of emotions and "currents" being hurt. oh the memories :)

Definitely ignore. I have a pretty good idea of what kind of person you're referring to, bigskymacadam, and you really don't want to revisit that era of your life, do you? (They come in male versions, I'm sad to say.)

Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea. :eek:
:lol: so you're serious when you mentionned that? THAT is toooo funny!!!!!

The sex always gets in the way
:lol: ahhhhh, yeah... THAT point of view! you stud! :lol:

If you feel you should oblige with a reply, here it is:

"All's well here. Hope you're doing fine. Take care."

Keep it vague, let her know you're alive, and then let it drop.

She found you. She found your sister. That takes some kind of deliberate effort. Maybe not much, but she had to be looking.


She wants something. Most likely you One email reply and you are involved again.


But you know that ! :)

"I'll be watching your way (every step you take, every breath you take, every move you make), I'll be watching YOU".................:lol:

You're in for surprise
You're in for a shock
In london town streets
When theres darkness and fog
When you least expect me
And you turn your back
I'll attack

I smile when I'm sneaking
Through shadows by the wall
I laugh when I'm creeping
But you wont hear me at all

All hear my warning
Never turn your back
On the ripper

You'll soon shake with fear
Never knowing if I'm near
I'm sly and I'm shameless
Nocturnal and nameless
Except for the ripper
Or if you like jack the knife

Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea. :eek:

Can I be your stalker, ya big stud, you?

:p

Proof once again that as they say out in West Texas, "Closed eyes aren't always asleep. And goodbye ain't always gone."

"I always feel like somebody's watchin me. . "

"just because your paranoid doesn't mean
they aren't out to get you"

If my ex were contacting me it would be to
demand money or something similiar.

I sent an email to an ex college girlfriend
twenty plus years after the fact, never got a response.
does that make me an internet stalker? :eek:

marty

Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea. :eek:So did he offer you child prostitutes too? Seems to be his thing..

"I always feel like somebody's watchin me. . "

"just because your paranoid doesn't mean
they aren't out to get you"

If my ex were contacting me it would be to
demand money or something similiar.

I sent an email to an ex college girlfriend
twenty plus years after the fact, never got a response.
does that make me an internet stalker? :eek:

marty

I hope "marty" isn't your real name!!

I hope "marty" isn't your real name!!
it might be. . .

At least acknowledge it.

I mean just say something like I don't want to get back into things thanks for saying hi, hope you're doing well.

If she comes back with anything more than a ' hope you're doing well too' or anytihng like that then just ignore anything else or block her or something.

Four steps:

1. Contact her.
2. Arrange a meeting.
3. Knock off a piece o' dat action.
4. Ignore her for another six years.

:p

Can I be your stalker, ya big stud, you?


I thought you already were, didn't you get the memo?

- i'm worried about the ex-wives...

- i'm much more worried about the ex-girlfriends!

signed,

a happly married cyclist

"the fifth time's the charm"

:-)