Jokes & Humor - 9 things I hate about people

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

1) People who whistle whistle off-key series of notes
that resemble no tune.
2) People walking on the sidewalk, half of them with cell
phones in their ears.
3) People who shout into their cell phones, as if to physicaly
bridge the distance separating them from the person they're
calling.
4) People who stop in the parking lot waiting for someone to
pull out. Keep it moving folks and pull into the first available
space. You look like you could use a little walk anyway!
5) When someone says "My blood was literally boiling!" That's not
anger, that's stepping out of a microwave oven.

1) People who come into the toilets at work, sit down and then explode shrapnel all over the place at loud volumes. Come on folks, lay off the Taco Bell and Old Milwaukee for a few days.

2) Similar to Poppaspoke, people who drive up and down the parking lot looking for the "great" spot, while I pull into the first open spot I find, walk up and go into the store while they're still driving around waiting for a score.

3) People who conduct traffic, wave and make various communicative symbols at four-way stop signs. There's a system already in place here, no need for negotiation. When it's your turn, go. Don't go before that and for God's sake don't wave other people through who got their after you.

4) People who come into your cube/office and make a comment about the song that happens to be on internet radio at the time, clearly creating the entire picture of your musical tastes around that one random song.

5) People who think they are fun, social people just because they talk a lot.

6) People whose way of telling you what they want to do is by asking you what you want first, then picking your choice apart before finally telling you what they want to do which is all they wanted to do from the beginning of the conversation anyway.

7) People who create top 9 lists and then only put 7 entries in them.

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Never know, you could be one of "Those" people that just hang around a bus stop wearing a terench coat and trouser legs cut off at the knees, but wearing the bottom part of the leg (and the trench coat and nothing else!:D )!

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

They're just ignorant. The actual statement is "You want to eat your cake and have it too".

They're just ignorant. The actual statement is "You want to eat your cake and have it too".
That just makes no sense at all.

That just makes no sense at all.

Why not?

How can you eat cake that you don't have? aircake? :)

How can you eat cake that you don't have? aircake? :)

You have to have it to eat it. But once you eat it, you no longer have it. See?

Indeed. You cannot still have it once you have eaten it.

People in cars who slowly follow me while I'm returning to my own car in a parking lot. This is called "parking lot stalking". This drives me nuts! Why, oh why, do people do this? A better question; why didn't people do this 25 years ago?

Best thing to do: Just park well away from the door. They'll give up soon enough. Or, briskly walk toward your car, with your key out and visible. The stalker will get all excited. Then, as abruptly as you can, turn sharply and walk between two parked cars, crossing over to the next row, and walk in a different direction. See if you can get two or three stalkers following you. Then head back inside the store.