Homeless Jokes

[Serg Oliva 12]

One of my buddies pulled up beside a homeless man with a sign that said "Jokes 25 cents". My buddy pulls out a dollar and says "OK, shoot". This is the joke he got:

Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?
'Cause everything's a Target.

ba dum ching.
For all those who thought this thread was going to be jokes *about* the homeless, sorry to let you down...

My Webpage (http://katl.info)

[Poppaspoke]

Nice gig. Deserves a dollar for ingenuity.

[BearsPaw]

There used to be a homeless man in West Philly near my old house who called himself "The Sphynx." He said you would always know him because he would come with two riddles. He said that you wouldn't have to give him money if you could answer them. (Beautiful logic.) I can't post most of the "riddles" because it would violate common decency, and probably a few forum rules.

[BroMax]

Homeless walks up to stylish woman and says,

"Lady I haven't eaten a thing in three days."

The woman replies,

"Gawd! I wish I had your will power."

[Stacey]

Two homeless guys are in front of a posh resturant. One guy has his pants down around his ankles, the other has his index finger stuck in his buddies rectum. Needles to say the patrons and owner are very taken back by this, so the owner calls the cops. The beat cop comes around to asses the situation and asks the fellow, "Why do you have your finger stuck in you buddies rectum like that?" The homeless guy replies, "Well officer, my friend here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him throw up." The cop, somewhat flustered says, "You're never going to make him throw up with your finger up his ass!" The guy quips, "Yeah, I know, but you just wait till I turn him around and stick it in his mouth."

[BroMax]

tasteless! ;)

[AlmostTrick]

Two guys leave a liquor store with a bag full of supplies for a weekend party. As they approach a stoplight they see a homeless man standing there with a sign that says "Need money for food". The passenger starts to reach into his pocket for some change, but the driver intervenes, saying "don't you know he's only going to use that money for booze?" This causes the passenger to stop and think for a second. He then reaches into the bag, grabs a bottle of whiskey and hands it to the homeless man proclaiming "there, now he can use his money for food".