Foo - did you ever?

Did you ever really messed up with a friend?
you know when you have friends that constantly do domething that just rubs you the wrong way, but you dont say anything, they might not even be aware of it and all the sudden, one day you just blow up at them for doing this to you, and you realise that they had no clue!
And once you realise you were the one that was actually totally out of line for blasting them, it's too late.. you have allready done the damage..:(
Sometimes I wish I coud take my quick tongue back and erase the words that so quickly came out of my mouth. you wish you could go back and say sorry but the damage you've done is too much.

i've done that once or twice before with co-workers. Never had any friends so haven't really had to worry about doing that to anybody outside of the work place.

This is a true test of friendship. A real friend who is emotionaly mature will sting for awhile over this, but will welcome an appology and dialog after a brief cooling down period.

This is a true test of friendship. A real friend who is emotionaly mature will sting for awhile over this, but will welcome an appology and dialog after a brief cooling down period.
I hope so, I really messed up.. but im too embaressed to say sorry right now

i think true friends will never do that because a true friend never rubs one the wrong way on a continual basis such that it builds up.

I hope so, I really messed up.. but im too embaressed to say sorry right now

The longer you wait, the harder it will get.

I hope so, I really messed up.. but im too embaressed to say sorry right now

That's where e-mail or text messages come in. ;)

Something along the lines of.......I'm an idiot, mind if I give you a call? :o

I did something kinda like this a long time ago. In the end I loss a good friend and the last I heard was she had a baby last year. I've tried to contact her but its almost impossible to find where she is at. Oh well its a good lesson learned on my part. The crazy thing is we weren't fighting really we just didn't agree on something. Its sucks. Make it right as soon as possible. :)

I'm so sorry to hear that BDG! I sort of had a falling out with a friend a few years back -- and I was the one at fault. My friend actually went so far as to write me a letter explaining the nature of the particular grievance. That really pissed me off for a couple of days, but I gradually realised there were some points in the letter which made sense (though not all of it!). Eventually I got over it, and though I still think my friend overreacted slightly, I took some of what was said in the letter to heart. I think our friendship is a much stronger one for what happened, actually.

In short, I wouldn't worry too much about it, BDG. Still, though I understand that you might be embarassed right now, you should really try to talk about it -- and sooner rather than later. I really hope it works out in the end.

20 years ago I was on the receiving end of a verbal attack from a person I concidered at the time my best friend. He was absolutely incorrect with his allegations, and to this day still believes he is correct. We didn't speak for 16 years but now can at least acknowledge each other in passing. I now have absolutely no respect for him.

The allegation:
He believes I slept with his ex-girlfriend. She told him that we did. We absolutely did NOT in and shape or form. I had no encounter with her sexually in any way. She achieved what she set out to do, broke up a friendship which had been going for 12 years.

I guess he was never my best friend eh?

just tell your friend that you were having a
really bad day, apologize and leave it at that.

if you're truely friends it will strengthen the relationship
to hammer it out.

marty

She achieved what she set out to do, broke up a friendship which had been going for 12 years.

God, that's awful! I can't imagine anyone being so petty and vindictive as to want to break up someone else's friendship. Who are these people??? :mad:

Of course, this means that your erstwhile friend trusted you less than his ex-girlfriend. As you say, guess he was never your best friend, eh? :( :mad:

Did you ever really messed up with a friend?
you know when you have friends that constantly do domething that just rubs you the wrong way, but you dont say anything, they might not even be aware of it and all the sudden, one day you just blow up at them for doing this to you, and you realise that they had no clue!
And once you realise you were the one that was actually totally out of line for blasting them, it's too late.. you have allready done the damage..:(
Sometimes I wish I coud take my quick tongue back and erase the words that so quickly came out of my mouth. you wish you could go back and say sorry but the damage you've done is too much.Actually, your tongue wasn't quick enough the 1st time. Gunny-sacking sucks when you can't take it anymore...

Actually, your tongue wasn't quick enough the 1st time. Gunny-sacking sucks when you can't take it anymore...
great point, but however, Im afraid it was something that was a big deal to me only... we dont all have the same standard when it comes to our interactions with people and Im often at fault for expecting no less then what would be viewed as OK by me, forgetting that because the standard is not the same to others doesnt make them wrong... that is definitly something I have to work on... I think I was hurt and that's where this all came from.. but being hurt doesnt give you the right to hurt others..
I think Ill give this a try and say sorry... at least Ill feel better about this and hope for the best.

Of course, this means that your erstwhile friend trusted you less than his ex-girlfriend. As you say, guess he was never your best friend, eh? :( :mad:

100% correct.

Sure...done that a few times.

One friend it seems to happen with quite often (on both sides). I think he's a little easy to offend and/or get emotional, but he holds it in and by the time it comes out, its usually a bit of a burst. Oh well....

Im afraid it was something that was a big deal to me only... we dont all have the same standard when it comes to our interactions with people and Im often at fault for expecting no less then what would be viewed as OK by me, forgetting that because the standard is not the same to others doesnt make them wrong... that is definitly something I have to work on... I think I was hurt and that's where this all came from.. but being hurt doesnt give you the right to hurt others..Yes, there's two separate events of hurtfulness here and they need to be addressed independently. However, in the initial annoyances, I don't think you should sacrifice your standards to be "nice" and keep the peace with others. It's actually comes down to how you express your wishes & desires. And yes, you do have to recognize that your standards are different than others and that's OK. And the standards will vary based upon the topic as well.

Some subjects you may feel strongly about may be irrelevant to others. And conversely, some subjects that others feel strongly about, you couldn't care less about. For example, I have a friend that's very sensitive about the size of her @ss and she feels stronger about people judging others based upon appearance. So when she's around, I make sure not to point out the rear-ends that walk by or hold up and wave my judging cards. Although it's not like chics don't notice guys who are cute and tall either. ;)

And she knows there's some things that I find important like timeliness to appointments. She makes an effort to get ready a little earlier when meeting me. So it becomes a give & take on all sides. But in order to find the sensitive areas and knowing how to deal with them, you first have to express and tell other people what your buttons are. :)

my advice, show up at her place with a bottle of tequila, say your apologies, get so hammered you make out, then things will be so awkward that the whole going off on her will be completely forgotten. Problem solved.

I don't like to be confrontational. I know that different people have their opinions and ideals due to their past and environment that they come from. Only THEY know how they feel inside. That is why when someone does something that I don't agree to I usually don't say much or I just let it ride.

Although..

I have gotten upset to where I have snapped at others. One particular incident stood out for I had never seen myself so affected by it. I thought that he had lied to me because of what another person told me. I felt betrayed. I felt bad that he would hide something from me that he knew would bother me. But it ended up the other person was the one who lied. I should have never believed that person for my friend had NEVER lied to me before. I should have never doubted him. Hence, my apology thread here a while back. Needless to say, he is very very special to me, always will be and I will never let anything affect that friendship ever again. THAT is a promise that we both agreed to. :o

it's okay to shed friends as well. if you're a busy person, sometimes it's just not feasible to maintain lots of friendships. you must be able to reconginze when you need to let something go or not. as i get older i retain the same old friends from college and earlier but i only see them a few times a year. everyone else i see whenever i want to. keeping work life, personal life, friends and aquaintences mostly seperate has worked quite well for me.

I agree, timm. There are friends and there are acquaintances. I have many many acquaintances but my friends I will always be truly, honestly loyal to.

I'm honest to the point where feelings can get hurt, so no, I don't have that problem.

antihug

:roflmao:

Yes, I have messed up too. We talked it over and our friendship was actually stronger after.

I think Elton John said it best, "Sorry seems to be the hardest word"

BDG, you are a strong and courageous person, I know you can do this and can heal the wounds.

((((hugs))))

well thanks all, Im free of worries..thanks to your advice, :)
Im an idiot sometimes but like my kid says when she gets in trouble " am I lucky Im so cute?:o " and prays for the best... all is fine :) ( yippee!!!!)

I had faith in you.

I'm honest to the point where feelings can get hurt, so no, I don't have that problem.
hahaha. Thats usually the way it is with me. I rub off on people the wrong way because of that but Its just because for the most part I don't mince what i say and I seldom ever stop and think about how somebody might interpret what I'm saying the wrong way.

I should add, when I found my kid she was 2 with toilet paper every where in the room and she was sitting right in the middle of this mess, I went to let out a scream, i had my mouth open wide, she just smiled at me and said " Im lucky Im so cute?" and i burst up laughing!

Everyone says things that they regret later. I'm sorry you had a mess up, BDG!

I have the opposite issue, I would like to get rid of a few friends. Ever since I started dating someone, I find that some others are becoming ass's about things like "I never do this anymore" and then other female friends talling me that she isn't right for me and here meet my friend she is better for you......whats up with that.......???? Before there was a full time female in my life, no one cared......

you wish you could go back and say sorry but the damage you've done is too much.

It's never too late to say you're sorry. A good friend will forgive some awfully big transgressions. I have been on the receiving end of some incredible forgiveness in my day and am still married.

I have the opposite issue, I would like to get rid of a few friends. Ever since I started dating someone, I find that some others are becoming ass's about things like "I never do this anymore" and then other female friends talling me that she isn't right for me and here meet my friend she is better for you......whats up with that.......???? Before there was a full time female in my life, no one cared......
thier positons in your life are becoming somewhat threaten, it's just a way to show you that they will miss you or want to still really be very important to you.
pain in the butt but you must be very liked!

Ok BDG, I'll apologize first...I'm sorry I farted in public, in front of your mother!!! :eek:

Ok BDG, I'll apologize first...I'm sorry I farted in public, in front of your mother!!! :eek:
that's not what upseted me, I told ya allready.. it's that you said her eyes were prettier:p

Ok BDG, I'll apologize first...I'm sorry I farted in public, in front of your mother!!! :eek:

i'll take that apology. i could smell it all the over here. :(

i'll take that apology. i could smell it all the over here. :(
:lol:

I'm sorry too.




Wait, whaddIdo?

Shhhhhhhhhhh. Just apologise. It works better that way.

yeah, you're right.


I'm sorry!

I'm sorry too.




Wait, whaddIdo?
nothing that isnt worth a shot of tequila, here's to you:beer:

nothing that isnt worth a shot of tequila, here's to you:beer:


whooo! we're doin tequila shots! TG must be jealous ;)

:love: