View Full Version : Finally met an einvornmentally friendly girl....
yendor28
10-05-06, 07:05 PM
Ok,
I have been car free for 3 years now. It has caused MASSIVE ANGST and issues in my past relationships. I have been single for a while now and really wary of being with someone who does not understand my motives.
I finally met someone who is so similar to me, similar backgrounds, way of looking at life and environmentally aware.
Screecccchhhh. The brakes come on. She has a boyfriend. What a shame.
* Also, she was definitely not impressed with the job I do. I work in the Oil and Gas industry which may seem paradoxical to my environmental concerns. Far from it. I work in that area as I truly love the environment and sustainable living thus want someone like me aware and affecting the decision processes rather than others who do not care.
IchbinJay
10-05-06, 07:39 PM
Awww, that's a bummer man. Better luck next time, right?
Cyclaholic
10-05-06, 11:36 PM
Clearly, you need a trailer that can be easily towed behind your bike. It will need to accomodate one deceased male body and one shovel.
You can lie about your occupation while you console that poor girl whose boyfriend decided to stop calling her for no apparent reason.
KrisPistofferson
10-05-06, 11:57 PM
Ok,
I have been car free for 3 years now. It has caused MASSIVE ANGST and issues in my past relationships. I have been single for a while now and really wary of being with someone who does not understand my motives.
I finally met someone who is so similar to me, similar backgrounds, way of looking at life and environmentally aware.
Screecccchhhh. The brakes come on. She has a boyfriend. What a shame.
* Also, she was definitely not impressed with the job I do. I work in the Oil and Gas industry which may seem paradoxical to my environmental concerns. Far from it. I work in that area as I truly love the environment and sustainable living thus want someone like me aware and affecting the decision processes rather than others who do not care.
Move to Oregon.
krazygluon
10-06-06, 12:43 AM
I work in the Oil and Gas industry which may seem paradoxical to my environmental concerns. Far from it.
As counterintutive as it seems, you're not the first person I've heard of in this situation. I know a few truck-driving (personal vehicle, not work vehicle) environmental scientists, one of which worked for the same Oil company I did.
About the girl...+1 to the comment on needing a trailer capable of hauling a corpse and a shovel. Blood makes the grass grow, and I for one think that an environmentally friendly female is worth killing over :eek:
To others: don't let the existance of SUV's foil you, Oil companies are just as interested in some parts of the long-term situation as any granola-chewer. I worked for a short while on a project to use soybean oil as a base for making motor oil.
Screecccchhhh. The brakes come on. She has a boyfriend. What a shame.
Yes, but does her boyfriend share *her* outlook on the environment. Maybe you can hook up one of your ex's with him, and clear the way for true love :D
By the way, don't sweat the job... we all gotta do what we gotta do, and if you think you have influence, be happy about it.
You have more influence inside the behemoth than locked outside of it.
Clearly, you need a trailer that can be easily towed behind your bike. It will need to accomodate one deceased male body and one shovel.
You can lie about your occupation while you console that poor girl whose boyfriend decided to stop calling her for no apparent reason.
+1 :D
Erzulis Boat
10-06-06, 08:51 AM
If she own a cell phone, Ipod, television, drinks bottled water, wears shoes, etc. etc. etc.
Then any crap about your job is a JOKE.
bikebuddha
10-06-06, 09:30 AM
Dude, my wife had a boyfriend when I met her. You just have to persistent in the charming sort of way not the stalking sort of way.
recursive
10-06-06, 09:47 AM
My girlfriend has a car. It doesn't cause us any angst. I'm just not the preachy type. My lack of a car has not created any problems with any of my relationships because I never talk about it.
ryanparrish
10-06-06, 11:02 AM
I have a car but it comes with terms
Blue Order
10-06-06, 11:21 AM
Move to Oregon.True.
If you can't meet somebody who is environmentally friendly, you're living in the wrong community. There are tons of environmentally friendly women out there. I guess if you don't want to move, you could always try Green Singles (www.greensingles.com).
Erzulis Boat
10-06-06, 12:00 PM
Sometimes you have to count your blessings.......
How insecure do you have to be to find a date on "Green Singles" and the like, what about a shot of diversity, the yin and the yang, baby!
When you hook up with someone with identical views, you do not become stronger, but weaker. There is no discussion or passion, your weak points go unchallenged, and your views go undiscussed!
You are not "sticking it to the man" at all, the man owns your ass even more! The man can exploit you, 2 for the price of 1.
Cook some hamburger in her "vegetables only" wok late one night half shnookered on some swill........fireworks!!!! Magic!!!!!!!
If you really want to help the world, spread the gospel, quit preachin' to the choir.
knobster
10-06-06, 12:24 PM
I finally met someone who is so similar to me, similar backgrounds, way of looking at life and environmentally aware.
Screecccchhhh. The brakes come on. She has a boyfriend. What a shame.
* Also, she was definitely not impressed with the job I do. I work in the Oil and Gas industry which may seem paradoxical to my environmental concerns. Far from it. I work in that area as I truly love the environment and sustainable living thus want someone like me aware and affecting the decision processes rather than others who do not care.
That's rare. I have one myself and married her. She commutes by bike and collects more bike crap than I do!
As far as the boyfriend. Put a bumper sticker or two on his ride that says something like "Hummers Rule!" or "Baby Seals taste like chicken". That'll do it.
Your job could be a bonus. Just tell her you're working to change the industry from the inside!
Yes, it's more than just a hat rack my friends... :-)
Artkansas
10-06-06, 03:01 PM
Clearly, you need a trailer that can be easily towed behind your bike. It will need to accomodate one deceased male body and one shovel.
This deserves a large and vociferous discussion of which setup would be best. I can't decide between a Bob trailer or a Worksman Industrial trike.
yendor28
10-06-06, 06:16 PM
thanks everyone!
Some great replies.
To the posters who met their wives, when their wives had bfs at the time, can you please tell your stories. Especially how long it took for your wife to be with you not the bf, how much you saw each other, what it was like (eg. just friends at first or was there obviously something more), could you tell 'this would be the one'?
Did you feel guilty about the bf. One part of me is sort of like, well mr BF deserves his chance at the relationship why mess with that. The other part is 'look, just be yourself, do not do anything underhanded then if something happens then so be it'. THe flow of the world.
As for the spade and trailer, you guys forgot pigs. *movie snatch reference :)
As for the yin/yang differences, sure that is great when the differences are superficial AND NOT values otherwise you will never get anywhere as when you are TRULY tested in life, you will be apart.
Differences are great of course but what brings passion is FIRE! You can both have a spriited debate and AGREE where the passion and fire electrifies the air.
Just that deeper understanding.
* I never talk/preach much about my bike riding, but my past GFs found it 'terribly unmanly and immature'. I mean who rides a bike they would say. Some of them did not raise it until afterwards, but they always felt THEY HAD to take us and me places because I did not have a car and they did. They always felt I was limited i.e would not give all invitations. Obviously I corrected them but wven when I would overcome my so called limitations they would feel guilty or bad that I had rode so far.
More stories and replies please. Much appreciated !
cabana 4 life
10-06-06, 06:49 PM
i feel ya, i met a girl this summer. the town i live in girls just laugh at you for riding your bike. so i get in the local paper for riding my pedicab and they need photos, who comes to take them this hot girl who i knew was not from around town. she was into the pedicab and the clothing company i was starting, i asked her to hang out and she showed up on her BIKE. the best part it was a beat up fuji i could tell she really rode ,it not just a few times in the summer. one night while hanging out her bike got stolen. i felt awaful because she loved her bike. i told her it would be ok and that muskegon was a small town and we'll see it again (i knew there was no chance that would happen so talked all tough, "if i see it ill kick some ass and get it back") a week passes i still feel bad, i even tried to find the same bike to replace it, no good. i was driving with my dad on the other side of town and what do see HER BIKE! I drive around the block get out tell the guy he's on a stolen bike and take it back, he knew it and gave it up kinda easy. anway getting her bike back made me a super hero and things were awsome. one problem she was a intern at the paper and the beginning of september she got offered a new job in nashville,so now shes gone, we talk and text message and next weekend im flying to nashville to see her. so i know how it feels to find the right one and have her be just out of your reach. as far as the boyfriend goes, be a stand up guy and wait for her ,if shes happy do you really want to ruin that for her? and a job is a job. im happy your getting some money from the oil dicks.
yendor28
10-06-06, 07:56 PM
oh yeah
other similarities
- we both studied law
- Neither of us have or watch television (but watch movies)
- we both love to read
- both have the same ethnic background but live in Australia
* sigh
:)
I do not know how everyone else chooses their partners. There are SO MANY interesting and compelling individuals out there.
This deserves a large and vociferous discussion of which setup would be best. I can't decide between a Bob trailer or a Worksman Industrial trike.
Bikes at Work trailer. Carboard coffin would be a nice touch... just to keep the blood at bay, you understand.
However, to yendor28, just be yourself. Be patient. Getting to know each other is the most important aspect, and if you spend more and more time together, you may find the opportunity to make the appropriate move. And that ethnic background thing? That's an ace card, especially if the other guy isn't the same.
one problem she was a intern at the paper and the beginning of september she got offered a new job in nashville,so now shes gone, we talk and text message and next weekend im flying to nashville to see her.
If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend and I had a long distance relationship for our first 9 months or so. we were an hour's plane ride (or 10 hours bus ride) apart but we took turns traveling to see each other every 6 weeks or so.
It would have been a lot harder if I hadn't been planning to move after 9 months anyway (and before we met I didn't know where I was moving after college, i just wanted to move.)
I agree with cabana. Be a stand up guy and respect their relationship. Put yourself in the BF's shoes. How would you like it if some other guy starts trying to move in on your woman. Would you really want to be with a girl that cheats on her BF to be with you anyway? If she does it once, she'll most likely do it again; only this time you'll be in the Bob trailer.
Erzulis Boat
10-10-06, 11:52 AM
Son, she does not like you.
Women either like you, or they don't. She may be a vegan, dreaming of Utopia, but if a dude driving a ' 72 Dodge Powerwagon with a bumbersticker that says "W in 04" and an NRA decal in the window gives her the quiverin' deep inside.................
If there was any chance, she would have told her boyfriend to haul ass as soon as she met you.
Sorry to ruin your day, but you youngsters gotta' learn sooner or later.
aikigreg
10-10-06, 12:33 PM
Son, she does not like you.
Women either like you, or they don't. She may be a vegan, dreaming of Utopia, but if a dude driving a ' 72 Dodge Powerwagon with a bumbersticker that says "W in 04" and an NRA decal in the window gives her the quiverin' deep inside.................
If there was any chance, she would have told her boyfriend to haul ass as soon as she met you.
Sorry to ruin your day, but you youngsters gotta' learn sooner or later.
Ok, I just have to say that is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on this forum.
Oh, and +1.
The way I figure it - she probably doesn't shave her pits or use deoderant anyway ;)
Shes she have a like-minded sister or friend?
my past GFs found it 'terribly unmanly and immature'. I mean who rides a bike they would say.
Good for you they're "past". If my SO made such judgements based on my means of transportation, we both would obviously be better off with someone else.
--J
yendor28
10-11-06, 08:53 PM
Kill the b/f yet?
:)
no.
I chose the high road. Not contacting her unless she contacts me. Thus do not interfere with relationship, but she has my number if she wants to hang out (assuming relationship dies a natural death or she can invite me to their wedding so I meet a beautiful environmentally friendly bridesmaid :) ).
Stupid but oh well, lots of other things in life to concentrate on :)
Son, she does not like you.
Women either like you, or they don't. She may be a vegan, dreaming of Utopia, but if a dude driving a ' 72 Dodge Powerwagon with a bumbersticker that says "W in 04" and an NRA decal in the window gives her the quiverin' deep inside..................
If there was any chance, she would have told her boyfriend to haul ass as soon as she met you.
Sorry to ruin your day, but you youngsters gotta' learn sooner or later.
Your whole 'rubbing my hamburger all over her vegan snatch' thing is cute, boifriend, but I hope that if you try it, she knows Brazilian Jiu-Jutsu, and breaks what limbs need breaking.
:D
Bikepacker67
10-12-06, 07:29 AM
Screecccchhhh. The brakes come on. She has a boyfriend. What a shame.
C'mon man! Get diabolical!
Have a female friend leave sultry messages on his answering machine.
Does anybody else find this thread kind of disturbing? All this business about killing somebody for a girl and/or for his non-enviro-friendly views.
It all looks like a joke, but there are some crazy people in this world and without the help of tone-of-voice it's harder to tell what's a joke, what's said as "a joke with some truth in it", and what's just dead serious.
Oh, by the way, yendor, have you tried craigslist or some other site with personals? Who knows, there might be a nice girl with similar views to you on there... probably mixed in with a million people you couldn't stand. :)
Bike_UK
10-13-06, 04:24 AM
Does anybody else find this thread kind of disturbing?
In a way, i guess.
Most of all i thought the thread title was hilarious - as though 'girls' are inherently environmentally unfriendly in the way an SUV is!!!
0_emissions :=)
10-14-06, 02:54 PM
Man, I would have to agree with people that she either like you or doesn't. Sometimes you hear stories of someone 'growing' on them i.e. "oh, the first time I saw him I hated him, but now we're happily married with 3 kids and a dog named spot." However, it's rare. I would just stick to your morals, and DON't try so hard! Man, it will happen when you least expect it, trust me. Women can smell that like crazy, if you look like you're trying, they won't like it...or they'll be with you out of pity;)
!!Comatoa$ted
10-14-06, 03:05 PM
Why not be friends with her and her old man. She probably has lot's of other female freinds. And if she drops her old man you will be in the loop ready to comfort her in her time of need.
yendor28
10-15-06, 07:47 AM
Does anybody else find this thread kind of disturbing? All this business about killing somebody for a girl and/or for his non-enviro-friendly views.
It all looks like a joke, but there are some crazy people in this world and without the help of tone-of-voice it's harder to tell what's a joke, what's said as "a joke with some truth in it", and what's just dead serious.
Oh, by the way, yendor, have you tried craigslist or some other site with personals? Who knows, there might be a nice girl with similar views to you on there... probably mixed in with a million people you couldn't stand. :)
Appreciate the point of view, nevertheless vehemently disagree. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS KEY! Some of the replies are obviously jokes. If someone cannot discren that then they are not responsible enough to be safe no matter what they read on the internet.
I sincerely disagree with having to put 'insane' safe replies. Be free in your replies! *to the point where your freedom negatively and unreasonably impacts on others.
As for the personal route, thank you for the suggestion. Not for me. I believe in fate. Alas, I do not believe fate intended me to advertise :) I do not have an issue with it for anyone else, I appreciate a lot of nice people are on there and it is a great tool.
georgiaboy
10-15-06, 08:16 AM
Here's a story for you. (All true by the way.)
Yes, I am a Georgia boy (born and raised in the state of Georgia.) I have always lived in the city of Atlanta and I am somewhat more sophisticated than the average southerner. Having said that:
My GF is from Brooklyn, NY now living in Atlanta. Needless to say she is a fast-paced NY girl. She works for a humanitarian organization called The Care Organization (https://donate.care.org/05/170620340000?source=170740210000&WT.srch=1). She hasn't driven a car in over 10 years. She owns an old steel 3-speed bicycle that she rides. However, she walks as much as she rides her bike as she is not comfortable riding her bicycle in the heavily congested part of Atlanta that she works. I am only 5' 6" tall while she is 5' 10". My hair is blonde and I am fair complected with Irish features. She is part Italian and Spanish with black hair and dark complected.
We are very different in alot of ways except for how we talk (our accents are different but we both are direct) and how we live. ;)
yendor28
10-19-06, 10:46 PM
Here's a story for you. (All true by the way.)
Yes, I am a Georgia boy (born and raised in the state of Georgia.) I have always lived in the city of Atlanta and I am somewhat more sophisticated than the average southerner. Having said that:
My GF is from Brooklyn, NY now living in Atlanta. Needless to say she is a fast-paced NY girl. She works for a humanitarian organization called The Care Organization (https://donate.care.org/05/170620340000?source=170740210000&WT.srch=1). She hasn't driven a car in over 10 years. She owns an old steel 3-speed bicycle that she rides. However, she walks as much as she rides her bike as she is not comfortable riding her bicycle in the heavily congested part of Atlanta that she works. I am only 5' 6" tall while she is 5' 10". My hair is blonde and I am fair complected with Irish features. She is part Italian and Spanish with black hair and dark complected.
We are very different in alot of ways except for how we talk (our accents are different but we both are direct) and how we live. ;)
Awesome story! Does she have a sister :)
steveknight
10-19-06, 11:29 PM
you need to move here http://www.portlandguide.com/neighborhoods/hawthorne-district.php
lots of hip girls and lots of them without bra's love to walk here. too unsafe to bike if you like the views (G)
Cyclaholic
10-20-06, 12:33 AM
Does anybody else find this thread kind of disturbing? All this business about killing somebody for a girl and/or for his non-enviro-friendly views.
can you think of a better reason for killing someone? :D
yendor28
10-20-06, 06:07 PM
update:
Anyway, she called me up for a catch up yesterday. Nice, just chatting and all. Then she says 'just so you know, there is nothing romantic between us'. I picked up my phone, and said 'hello Roy, yeah cancel those roses' making a joke of it. She continued saying blah blah don't want you to get the wrong idea etc. Just then the cafe closed and I made to go, she said she would come for a walk with me, I walked home (opposite direction to her) and we sat down at a park on the way, and she continued. I do not want you to fall for me, as all my guy friends do. Plus all my bfs fall madly in love with me. I do not mean to break their hearts. My brothers say I just cast a spell on men.
I made fun of the situation here singing the chorus from maneater by nelly furtado But in reality it really annoyed me. Afterwards, bizarrely I felt rejected. Which was stupid as I never even made a move. That is why I feel even more frustrated as I feel like I was rejected before I even tried. Which is horrible. This is obviously latent from a past relationship.
The funny part is that the psychology of the situation almost makes me want to chase her because of her running away to begin with. I intentionally shall not though of course because it is stupid.
I just felt so stupid sitting there getting broken up with before I had even done anything. Anyway, I made fun of it and she said 'sorry, so embarrassed, just that I am breaking up with my bf and did not want you to I quote 'rub your hands together' i.e think you are in effectively. I laughed and made fun of the situation some more.
I shall throw away her number simply because I feel the whole 'maneater, cast a spell on men' junk is more trouble than it is worth. MY LAST 3 girlfriends WERE EXACTLY THE SAME! That was why I was laughing. I hear girls say this stuff all the time. THat line is always used by the girls who I end up going out with.
* the funny thing is, this girl is NO WHERE NEAR the looks and desirability of any of my past gfs. Not even close. I was trying to be more open minded and try different things. Holy backfire batman
share your thoughts on that one if you will
krazygluon
10-20-06, 06:27 PM
Read ladder theory...you'll be bitter and sad for a while, possibly angry, then you'll be at peace with life until the next time some girl pulls crap like this.
If you're a genuinely nice, good person...try hanging out around religious girls. As a considerably non-religious individual, I just find it creepy wierd that every girl attracted to me is very religious.
If you are obsessed with a taken girl, I'd understand why she'd want to add distance. It's kinda scary.
PS Tell her that she should be telling guys she's decided she's a lesbian.
Don't waste your time on her anymore. There are better ones out there without all the mental hang-ups.
Cyclaholic
10-21-06, 03:06 AM
update:
Anyway, she called me up for a catch up yesterday. Nice, just chatting and all. Then she says 'just so you know, there is nothing romantic between us'. I picked up my phone, and said 'hello Roy, yeah cancel those roses' making a joke of it. She continued saying blah blah don't want you to get the wrong idea etc. Just then the cafe closed and I made to go, she said she would come for a walk with me, I walked home (opposite direction to her) and we sat down at a park on the way, and she continued. I do not want you to fall for me, as all my guy friends do. Plus all my bfs fall madly in love with me. I do not mean to break their hearts. My brothers say I just cast a spell on men.
I made fun of the situation here singing the chorus from maneater by nelly furtado But in reality it really annoyed me. Afterwards, bizarrely I felt rejected. Which was stupid as I never even made a move. That is why I feel even more frustrated as I feel like I was rejected before I even tried. Which is horrible. This is obviously latent from a past relationship.
The funny part is that the psychology of the situation almost makes me want to chase her because of her running away to begin with. I intentionally shall not though of course because it is stupid.
I just felt so stupid sitting there getting broken up with before I had even done anything. Anyway, I made fun of it and she said 'sorry, so embarrassed, just that I am breaking up with my bf and did not want you to I quote 'rub your hands together' i.e think you are in effectively. I laughed and made fun of the situation some more.
I shall throw away her number simply because I feel the whole 'maneater, cast a spell on men' junk is more trouble than it is worth. MY LAST 3 girlfriends WERE EXACTLY THE SAME! That was why I was laughing. I hear girls say this stuff all the time. THat line is always used by the girls who I end up going out with.
* the funny thing is, this girl is NO WHERE NEAR the looks and desirability of any of my past gfs. Not even close. I was trying to be more open minded and try different things. Holy backfire batman
share your thoughts on that one if you will
....correction, the trailer has to accomodate two bodies and a shovel :D
yendor28
11-30-06, 11:13 PM
lol - update
well she called me up inviting me to a party since. Was cool. She has now broken up with her bf. Caught up for quick dinner last night. She said 'you are not on the menu you are probably too spicy' *assuming referring to the maneater comment. I did not know what to say so said ' you could not afford this restaurant anyway' :) then said goodbye.
thoughts? What did that mean?
Bike_UK
12-01-06, 04:46 AM
thoughts? What did that mean?
First thought - you think too much
Second thought - she just likes your attention: you're a cheap thrill; an ego boost; another one to add to her list of 'men who've fallen under my spell'.
Tough love. Sorry.
The way i would 'play' it now is to be unavailable next few times she calls. She will either end up chasing you (unlikely) or the friendship (for what it's worth) will fizzle out.
YoungerNow
12-01-06, 10:29 AM
well she called me up inviting me to a party since. Was cool. She has now broken up with her bf. Caught up for quick dinner last night. She said 'you are not on the menu you are probably too spicy' *assuming referring to the maneater comment. I did not know what to say so said ' you could not afford this restaurant anyway' :) then said goodbye.
thoughts? What did that mean?
It means you should stop making yourself available to her in any way.
If she thinks that you're romantically interested in her but doesn't feel the same, then the decent thing for her to do would be to cut off contact with you and gently tell you why; To keep contacting you and spending time with you only gets your hopes up and sets you up for ongoing pain.
Since she keeps contacting you and giving you the "this is not romance" disclaimers, it sounds like she doesn't care to do the decent thing, but enjoys using you as an ego boost, as Bike_UK put it.
Or maybe she is interested in you, but claims the opposite due to some sort of emotional retardation. If that's the case, do you really want to be in a relationship with her? Maybe she can grow out of it, but right now she's not relationship material for you.
Don't reject her harshly, just find a way to politely decline when she tries to spend time with you, and move on.
update:
Anyway, she called me up for a catch up yesterday. Nice, just chatting and all. Then she says 'just so you know, there is nothing romantic between us'. I picked up my phone, and said 'hello Roy, yeah cancel those roses' making a joke of it. She continued saying blah blah don't want you to get the wrong idea etc. Just then the cafe closed and I made to go, she said she would come for a walk with me, I walked home (opposite direction to her) and we sat down at a park on the way, and she continued. I do not want you to fall for me, as all my guy friends do. Plus all my bfs fall madly in love with me. I do not mean to break their hearts. My brothers say I just cast a spell on men.
I made fun of the situation here singing the chorus from maneater by nelly furtado But in reality it really annoyed me. Afterwards, bizarrely I felt rejected. Which was stupid as I never even made a move. That is why I feel even more frustrated as I feel like I was rejected before I even tried. Which is horrible. This is obviously latent from a past relationship.
The funny part is that the psychology of the situation almost makes me want to chase her because of her running away to begin with. I intentionally shall not though of course because it is stupid.
I just felt so stupid sitting there getting broken up with before I had even done anything. Anyway, I made fun of it and she said 'sorry, so embarrassed, just that I am breaking up with my bf and did not want you to I quote 'rub your hands together' i.e think you are in effectively. I laughed and made fun of the situation some more.
I shall throw away her number simply because I feel the whole 'maneater, cast a spell on men' junk is more trouble than it is worth. MY LAST 3 girlfriends WERE EXACTLY THE SAME! That was why I was laughing. I hear girls say this stuff all the time. THat line is always used by the girls who I end up going out with.
* the funny thing is, this girl is NO WHERE NEAR the looks and desirability of any of my past gfs. Not even close. I was trying to be more open minded and try different things. Holy backfire batman
share your thoughts on that one if you will
You should have told her "When I met you I didn't think you were so full of yourself that you thought everyone who met you would instantly fall for you" and then left.
jonathan180iq
12-01-06, 12:55 PM
thanks everyone!
Some great replies.
To the posters who met their wives, when their wives had bfs at the time, can you please tell your stories. Especially how long it took for your wife to be with you not the bf, how much you saw each other, what it was like (eg. just friends at first or was there obviously something more), could you tell 'this would be the one'?
Did you feel guilty about the bf. One part of me is sort of like, well mr BF deserves his chance at the relationship why mess with that. The other part is 'look, just be yourself, do not do anything underhanded then if something happens then so be it'. THe flow of the world.
As for the spade and trailer, you guys forgot pigs. *movie snatch reference :)
As for the yin/yang differences, sure that is great when the differences are superficial AND NOT values otherwise you will never get anywhere as when you are TRULY tested in life, you will be apart.
Differences are great of course but what brings passion is FIRE! You can both have a spriited debate and AGREE where the passion and fire electrifies the air.
Just that deeper understanding.
* I never talk/preach much about my bike riding, but my past GFs found it 'terribly unmanly and immature'. I mean who rides a bike they would say. Some of them did not raise it until afterwards, but they always felt THEY HAD to take us and me places because I did not have a car and they did. They always felt I was limited i.e would not give all invitations. Obviously I corrected them but wven when I would overcome my so called limitations they would feel guilty or bad that I had rode so far.
More stories and replies please. Much appreciated !
Hey man,
The stories of others might make you feel better, but I don't think you should base your decisions towards the future of your life on what someone else has done.
That being said, are you looking for a future wife in this girl? You should probably consider how much you actually know about her. Is she a new interest, or have you guys been friends for a while? If you just met her and are planning on trying to break-up her relationship with her boyfriend, you're probably just setting up yourself for future heartbreak. She may not even be all that she's cracked up to be. Plus, if she leaves her current relationship just to be with some new guy, you, than I'd question what kind of person she is.
There's a lot to be said for people who are at least a little bit loyal to their partners.
THE STORY:
I met my wife while she was seeing someone else. I didn't act on those feelings until after they separated and we soon discovered that we were soul mates. It's been a wonderful 4 1/2 years so far and we still can't seem to get enough of each other.
I'd just warn you against going headlong into something if you don't know very much about this girl.
Be safe,
Jonathan
I think it is like a game with her and she is kind of full of herself. She may not even be concious of this fact. She probably likes the chase but is not mature enough for a lasting relationship. Maybe she really is all that and is just used to being about to use guys and throw them away. I would not get emotionally involved. She will probably wind up throwing it at you and you will probably not be able to resist, just make sure not to get emotionally involved if you do.
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