Foo - Corny Pick-up Lines (don't click if you're easily offended by human-nature)

So ah... after leaving the clubs last Sunday night, I see this guy out on the street-corner hitting up every chic that goes buy. I can see from their expressions outright rejection, "nope", "no-way", one of them even slaps him!

I watched him for a little bit and he must've been shot down in flames at least 20-times. I edge a little closer to hear what he's saying... too far away, can't quite make it out... I edge a little closer still... still can't hear. I was already at the corner of the building and couldn't get any closer without being too obvious. So I waited for an opening in the crowd and walk up to him...

me: So ah... how's it going? Notice you're working the betties and are not having much luck...
him: Oh.. it's working, I'll get one yet!
me: You do know that the last one you hit up was a lesbian right?
him: Nawh, really? could've fooled me, I'll take one anyway.
me: What's your technique? Are you using some kind of a line on them?
him: Yeah, it's awesome, I just go up to them and say, "Wanna have sex?"
me: Why are you using THAT? It's obviously not working, I just saw 20 chics turn you down!
him: Sure... but you know what? Sometimes... it WORKS!!!

Do you know the difference betwqeen steamy hot sex and a hamburger? No, cool, wanna go out for a burger? http://dune.servint.com/uploads/f_eyebrows.gifhttp://forum.gamestar.de/gspinboard/images/smilies/atomrofl.gif

i like my corn before it has been picked. Does that make me a stalker?

I used to work with a bartender who used that philosophy. Now, I guess he was a pretty good looking guy because he said he usually enjoyed about a 10% success rate. He said for every 10 girls he asked, on average 7 would just say no, 1 would laugh, 1 would slap him and one would say yes. Usually by the end of a shift, he'd have one or two women waiting for him at the end of the bar.

Heh, I'm sure that alcohol had no effect what-so-ever on his 10% success rate.

I was told of a guy whose line was, "Yo, blonde...f**k?"

I understand his success rate was substantially less than 10%.

This one i heard somewhere "your gorgeous, get naked"
or something like this
" I have no one to share the table i just ordered at the restuarant, join me"
I forgot where i heard that one, i heard it works tho

"You know what would look good on you?....ME."

This never works unlsess you are already dating the women! LOL

"Once you've had a guy with no legs you'll never go back" Eddie Murphy-Trading Places

guy: "hey baby you like apples?"
girl: "oh sure, I like apples"
guy: "how 'bout I take you back to my place and f*** the sh** out of you, how do you like them apples?"

Heh, I'm sure that alcohol had no effect what-so-ever on his 10% success rate.
:lol:

So how do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled, or fertilized?

I really never say anything. I just sit near a group of single women, make eye contact, and then lick my eyebrow.

Ok...
Guy: Hi would you like to come home with me?
Girl: I'm sorry I'm on my menstrual cycle.
Guy: That's ok, I have my Honda out the front, I'll race you home.

edit...Let's change that to "TREK out the front"

His method might work depending on what he looks like. If he looks like Brad Pitt's identical twin, then he'll likely shag one early on. Sure she'll probably look over her shoulder a couple times as she walks away with him, but still...

On the other hand, if he is uglier than a sack of hammers, maybe the success rate will fall. I haven't been single for a looooooooong time, but I never used to rely on one liners. It's pretty easy to tell if somebody is in to you or not. If they were, I would just move in for the kill.

If not, then you just keep looking. One liners suck!

Ok...
Guy: Hi would you like to come home with me?
Girl: I'm sorry I'm on my menstrual cycle.
Guy: That's ok, I have my Honda out the front, I'll race you home.

edit...Let's change that to "TREK out the front"


skebbe, that was pretty bad.

Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".

I really never say anything. I just sit near a group of single women, make eye contact, and then lick my eyebrow.

So, you're that gecko pimping car insurance.;)

Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".

Ha, I like that one!

Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".

That's the worst? That's pimp! My new goal this weekend is to actually use it. However, I don't think my success rate will be high at at. I don't think my cat swings that way.

Ok, it's not quite as nasty as others that have been posted, but it is pretty corny -- and isn't that what this thread is about? :p


Edit: You swing your cat??? :eek:

Nice shoes, lets ****

What has 98 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper :D

My other favorite: Get in the trunk!

Ok, it's not quite as nasty as others that have been posted, but it is pretty corny -- and isn't that what this thread is about? :p


Edit: You swing your cat??? :eek:

Only when she begs for it.

"Hi" works pretty well for me, though if the conversation is lively enough, I'll throw in a one liner or two like that just to be a ham. I like the wet clothes one. In the right moment, whispered in her ear low and sultry, might just be effective ...

I know a guy who used to use the direct approach at Old Orchard Beach. He was 100% successful...he always found someone to go home with him.

So, you're that gecko pimping car insurance.;)
yep, get em in the sack and then sell em some insurance.

You're such the romantic. Wanna check out my policy?

You're such the romantic. Wanna check out my policy?
Sure, tape it to your back and assume the position.:eek:

My Fathers favorite...

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

My Fathers favorite...

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Is your dad's last name Belamy? Does he have any brothers?

No and yes... I think he has a joke book or something, because I have no idea where he gets his material.

I know a guy who used to use the direct approach at Old Orchard Beach. He was 100% successful...he always found someone to go home with him.Is that the sniper approach? One-shot, one-kill? Like he always only approached one chic and she went home with him?

Or was it "he always found someone to go home with him" at the end of the night after hitting up 10 chics?

I find it doesn't even really matter what you say, it's how you say it. Get them laughing and wetting their pants and it's game over!

Ya gotta use the old bait and switch....

Excuse me ma'am...you are just so intelligent, witty and, please excuse me for saying, stunningly beautiful, I just couldn't continue the day without at least trying to invite you to dine with me tonight, watching the moonlight glisten over the water in exotic Monte Carlo.

If she happens to say yes, you take her out to your old beat up Monte Carlo and drive her down to the lake with a bottle of Ripple and some Doritos.

Walk up to a pretty girl in a crowded club and say "Hey baby I thought it was just going to be the two of us tonight. Who invited all these people?"

This is from that Tucker Max sleazeball guy's website....

Ya gotta use the old bait and switch....

Excuse me ma'am...you are just so intelligent, witty and, please excuse me for saying, stunningly beautiful, I just couldn't continue the day without at least trying to invite you to dine with me tonight, watching the moonlight glisten over the water in exotic Monte Carlo.

If she happens to say yes, you take her out to your old beat up Monte Carlo and drive her down to the lake with a bottle of Ripple and some Doritos.

Priceless!! Ahhh chipcom....we've missed your humor around here lately.:D

I especially love the last part about the Monte Carlo, Ripple and Doritos!! No doubt you were a jarhead in a previous life.:p :D

Observation: The title of this thread works without the parentheses, too.

Anyway, back to lunch...

heh, heh.. good point...

What's a Monte Carlo? Is that a sandwich??

heh, heh.. good point...

What's a Monte Carlo? Is that a sandwich??

you're thinking of a monte cristo sandwich, a monte carlo is a car...most often they are jalopies. if you can combine the two, somehow, then you're golden.

Now I remember why guys really are more fun to hang w/than girls!

If she happens to say yes, you take her out to your old beat up Monte Carlo and drive her down to the lake with a bottle of Ripple and some Doritos.

For a first date? NO WAY! You gotta mix half a bottle of ripple with half a bottle of cheap brut champagne = champipple. I like to pamper my ladies

I prefer chamnipples more...

The only line I really use at whatever bar or club is "Hey, wanna dance?" or "Can I join you?"

If they decline you just say "Why are you being picky? I'm not!" and maybe she'll laugh and have you join, or you can move on to the next.

I find higher success rate if you just simply ask. I guess they find it a welcoming releif from the norm, which is essentially grabbing their butt and grinding it from behind. That's so... "******"

That is the most gorgeous dress. It would look great at the foot of my bed.

I should ask my friend jared. He tells me stories of the pick-up lines he's used on his female teachers and on the vice principal over discipline. LOL. They are always funny stories, but I can't remember what he said.

honestly is the best policy. i say "excuse me, i saw you dancing and i couldn't help the rush of blood to my genitals. i would honored if you would agree to have sexual intercourse at a location of your choosing this evening. i can offer you a ride on the back of my bicycle, which is conveniently chained up outside. we could be outta here in 5 minutes, i would just need to change into my lycra shorts real quick."

"Excuse me miss, does this smell like chloroform to you?" - Andrew Luster

For a first date? NO WAY! You gotta mix half a bottle of ripple with half a bottle of cheap brut champagne = champipple. I like to pamper my ladies

anyone remember Fred Sanford's "Manischipple"?

The only line I really use at whatever bar or club is "Hey, wanna dance?" or "Can I join you?"

If they decline you just say "Why are you being picky? I'm not!" and maybe she'll laugh and have you join, or you can move on to the next.

:roflmao: :love:

excuse me miss...I seem to be lost...can you show me the quickest way into your pants?