Foo - AHHHHHHHHH! FRIDAY THE 13th!

My machete is dull and rusty, my need for blind vengence for those who crossed me is at an all-time high, and the pure evil that gives me life is screaming for blood... it's gonna be a good weekend.

Don't go out in the woods alone, kids (I need as many of you as I can get...) :eek:

Dude, machetes are soooooooo, like, LAST killin' season. This year's hot ticket is dull spoons.

Hey pup, this weekend wanna meet me in the woods and help me proccess some squirills and hopefully wrabbits with your machete? You can chop off the heads, but I wanna do the gutting.

Hey pup, this weekend wanna meet me in the woods and help me proccess some squirills and hopefully wrabbits with your machete? You can chop off the heads, but I wanna do the gutting.
Sounds like you just got yourself a head-chopper.

Dude, machetes are soooooooo, like, LAST killin' season. This year's hot ticket is dull spoons.
My thirst for blood is timeless, you scenester!

Why wait for a silly Friday the 13th to let your hate pour forth upon the masses? I unleash the evil that is my soul on an almost nightly basis. I however prefer to use the comfy chair and the soft cushions as my weapons of choice. If in a truly foul humour, i will resort to the rack.
http://people.csail.mit.edu/paulfitz/spanish/tt6.jpg

Our TWO weapons of choice - the rusty machete, the dull spoon, and . . . THE RACK!!! Threee. . . our THREE weapons of choice - rusty machete, dull spoon, the rack, and witty MP references! errrr, hold on, I'll do that again. . . .

Reminds me I've been wanting to put the Flying Circus on my Netflix queue. And stabbing people. I've also been wanting to stab people.

jsharr, my hate is akin to the tides. Or maybe a capacitor. It builds up then unleashed with the fury of Hell! Plus I couldn't find any summer camps to terroize this year so I'm kinda backed up and cranky. The rivers will run red with blood!

Reminds me I've been wanting to put the Flying Circus on my Netflix queue. And stabbing people. I've also been wanting to stab people.
I been practicing my stabbing motion for months now. After my 2nd cup of coffee is done, I'm gonna go loiter by Starbucks w/ a duffel full of sporks.

I been practicing my stabbing motion for months now. After my 2nd cup of coffee is done, I'm gonna go loiter by Starbucks w/ a duffel full of sporks.
You an over-hand or under-hand stabber?

You an over-hand or under-hand stabber?
Careful, they may have had self defence training and can fight off either type of stabber.
http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_pictures/compdiff/selfdefe.jpg

You an over-hand or under-hand stabber?
I stabs wit both hands. Under-hand stabber. A kick to the nutz may precede the stabbing motion.

Nut kicking tends to destabilise the victim though, making it harder to place accurate stabs.

I stabs wit both hands. Under-hand stabber. A kick to the nutz may precede the stabbing motion.
Ahhhh, I see... get the torso moving downward in response to the nut-kicking as the stabbing impliments move upward. Brilliant. I'd love to see it in person.

Here is your friendly occupational hazard tip of the day. Before you start slashing away, make sure to put in your ear protection. Screams have gotten to dangerous decibels as of late. It saves your hearing for the cops. Not to mention the earplugs could be used to throw off your trackers.

Here is your friendly occupational hazard tip of the day. Before you start slashing away, make sure to put in your ear protection. Screams have gotten to dangerous decibels as of late. It saves your hearing for the cops. Not to mention the earplugs could be used to throw off your trackers.
just stab your victims in the larynx to begin with.

just stab your victims in the larynx to begin with.
Word.

Today is my company's annual party thing. Pretty interesting that they chose such an appropriate day for it. Perhaps the electric slide or Macarena will trigger a pavlovian-like response in one of my colleagues and there will be bloodshed.

I like a chainsaw. on a pole.

In a house? With a mouse?

http://www.livinghistoryfarm.org/farminginthe30s/media/lrScience0502.gif

on a boat, or with a goat...

In a do rag, with a ball gag?

Word.
No word. Stab your victim in the lungs (sneak up on them from behind). Once their lungs are punctured, they can't inhale to scream. Then you can take your time while they stagger trying to breathe and enjoy the danse macabre.

Stuffed in Uranus, so he don't shame us

No word. Stab your victim in the lungs (sneak up on them from behind). Once their lungs are punctured, they can't inhale to scream. Then you can take your time while they stagger trying to breathe and enjoy the danse macabre.
This is another reason I like killing in the woods. I can hack and chop and they can scream and scream and no cops are called (and, yes, I do wear earplugs, thanks). I don't like being locked into a certain way of slaying my innocent victims... not that they're innocent, really. They were smokin' drugs and doin' sex in the tent, fer crying out loud! Anyway, I like to give each and every person a unique experience. Sometimes that requires a LOT of screaming. Sometimes it's a dull THUCK as I sink a pickaxe into his/her skull.

*shrug*

This is another reason I like killing in the woods. I can hack and chop and they can scream and scream and no cops are called (and, yes, I do wear earplugs, thanks). I don't like being locked into a certain way of slaying my innocent victims... not that they're innocent, really. They were smokin' drugs and doin' sex in the tent, fer crying out loud! Anyway, I like to give each and every person a unique experience. Sometimes that requires a LOT of screaming. Sometimes it's a dull THUCK as I sink a pickaxe into his/her skull.

*shrug*

You are WAY TOO GOOD at this.

You guys are waaaaaaaaaaay out there. You've all just totally lost it.

Yeah, I came in to work, only to have an emergency right of the bat (one ofthe test towers took a massive dump)...got that fixed.

Then I discovered I cannot have a mountain dew, since I forgot to grab some change on the way out this morning. (NO CAFFEINE FOR YOU *pic of mtn dew can* <-- NOT YOURS! :( )

Then I found out we have three urgent orders to go out today, and we just got parts in for them....oh, we have a meeting that will screw up our ability to easily deliver.

As a bonus I just ha some good italian food on the customer's bill (but it still ate up precious time, so it's a break-een deal...however I <3 garlic bread with a passion).

Oh, and I have to take 4 online classes by 5pm...

...all I have to say, tonight's dinner will the acompanied by a dram of scotch....I would prefer 5 or 6 drams, but I have to work tomorrow as well, solitaire...to get us ahead on production for next week.

....basically Friday the 13th this year marked the beginning of end-of-quarter rush. I think my head asploded a few hours ago, but I was too busy to verify if it was wet confetti, or brain fragments. I think the crickets that infest this building carried all of it off.

Muahahahahaha!

I'm feeling very lucky today. :)

I was born on a Friday the 13th, so was my twin brother.
My Father always says it was one of the luckiest days of his life....
if I remember correctly it was really bright and pretty cold.

The only thing bad about my day so far has been the weather. It snowed a lot yesterday. This morning has been windy has heck. On the way to class, I got caught in a little mini hail storm. With the strong gusting winds and hail, it felt like I was being bombarded by airsoft pellets! It only lasted for maybe 2 or 3 minutes, but it was intense. People were running for shelter and trying to cover up as much of their bodies as possible all while trying not to be blown away by the winds! Crazy...:eek:

I have an exam this afternoon, so I'm definitely going to need all the luck I can get today...

Muahahahahaha!

I'm feeling very lucky today. :)
Well then meet me in the woods. I'll be sharpening my machete...

Well then meet me in the woods. I'll be sharpening my machete...


What, you wanna have a pumpkin carving contest? No have no chance! Muahahahaha!

What, you wanna have a pumpkin carving contest? No have no chance! Muahahahaha!
I know. :(

But, in my defense, it's damn hard to carve a pumpkin when you got a hook for a left hand and all you have to carve with is a machete.

I was born on a Friday the 13th, so was my twin brother.
My Father always says it was one of the luckiest days of his life....
if I remember correctly it was really bright and pretty cold.
My daughter too, she has quite a few unlucky bumps in her life and survive them all. :)

That's true. All right then, we can have a pumpkin pie bake off! You even have the upper hand in that one with your machete and hook. :) Slicing and scooping....:)

Bull*carp*....all you need to pumpin carve with a machete is 1337 ninja skrillz.

Start off with the cyclone blade, then rain of a thousand needles, and finish it with a waterfall of death.

That should yield a very well done pumpin with a realistic face of Johnny Knoxville.

That's true. All right then, we can have a pumpkin pie bake off! You even have the upper hand in that one with your machete and hook. :) Slicing and scooping....:)
Awesome! This is the perfect opportunity to use the new egg-beater attachment I just got to swap out with the hook. You're going dowwwn!

Bull*carp*....all you need to pumpin carve with a machete is 1337 ninja skrillz.

Start off with the cyclone blade, then rain of a thousand needles, and finish it with a waterfall of death.

That should yield a very well done pumpin with a realistic face of Johnny Knoxville.
I'm an undead monster, dude. Not a martial artist.

I was born on Dec 13., but on a Sunday, so I can counteract the evil that we all know and love as Explody Pup. Here is a cool calculator to tell you what day of the week it is for any day in history back to the 1500's, so not sure if it will work for Explody.

day calculator (http://www.wakefieldfhs.org.uk/day%20calc%20and%20soundex.htm)

I was born on the most boring day of the week. :(

Anyway, here are the only important days for the next 21 years:

http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/2851/friday13xk1.jpg

What's going on in here?

I hope pup hasn't relapsed. The last time, a whole village went missing.

Anyway, 13 is one of my favorite numbers. I consider it 'lucky', if you believe in that sort of thing.

What's going on in here?

I hope pup hasn't relapsed. The last time, a whole village went missing.
They shouldn't have disturbed my resting place with that damned strip mall!

They shouldn't have disturbed my resting place with that damned strip mall!

Sir, it's not their fault. You requested "A Mall For Strippers At Your Final Resting Place", remember?

It was to be some sort of monument. They simply misinterpreted the...uh...well, intentions of the project.

Sir, it's not their fault. You requested "A Mall For Strippers At Your Final Resting Place", remember?

It was to be some sort of monument. They simply misinterpreted the...uh...well, intentions of the project.
I'm pretty understanding. Well, I'm understanding for an undead beast, but... I mean... they were going to put in a Baby Gap! I mean, c'mon! Seriously. And you don't need two Starbucks in the same freaking shopping center...

My daughter too, she has quite a few unlucky bumps in her life and survive them all. :)

Those bumps are that which give us character.

No word. Stab your victim in the lungs (sneak up on them from behind). Once their lungs are punctured, they can't inhale to scream. Then you can take your time while they stagger trying to breathe and enjoy the danse macabre.

If it's loud noises you don't like, you could always pull a Jack the Ripper and slice thier throats to thier spine, that would shut them up quick. Of course you would not have the pleasure of watching them gasp for air.

What, you wanna have a pumpkin carving contest? No have no chance! Muahahahaha!
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I'm ALIVE !!! I survived teh 13th without any problems, although I did hide out all day in the house just to be safe....