Foo - what would you do?

so, what if you built your own house, every detail you paid attention to.
You even wrote the name of your kids in the cement in the garage.
You live in that house for 10 years and swore that you'd never move.
One day you come upon your dream home, and I mean you are so impressed that you actually think of moving for the first time in your life.

By dream home, you're talking dream home, stones, cathedral ceilings, a library that actually opens like a door to a secret room, that other room is an entertainment room, bar ect.
Work out room, library, play room, movie room, formal dining, ect ect ect..
You get told you can actually own this home but the trick is (and I cant go into details) but you can only live there for 10 years. Knowing that after those ten years of dream living, it's gone... and the house you built is gone... you have to start over.
What would you do?
Purchase a dream home for 10 years.
Keep the house you so proudly built for your family.

is it your dream house or everyone in your family's dream house? if it's everyone's, might as well live the dream for 10 years, then start all over again.

10 years goes by really fast. i'd be inclined to stay in the house i built.

There are no guarantees in this life that you will be here tomorrow, let alone in ten years, so I would say if you can make the move and it does not hurt you financially, do it. What are your plans for your current home. Can you sell/lease/etc. the dream home you built to a relative, or convert it into a lease/rent home to earn income? Will the new dream home drastically affect your budget, retirement savings, etc? So many variables to consider here.

i doubt i could afford it.

Im debating, isnt your dream house where you see your kids name imprinted in the cement?
Isnt your dream house the one where your kids grow up?
I dont know... is bigger better? and i can just hear YES!!!!! on that question hehe but I really dont know, Im asking YOU, what would YOU do if you had sentimental value into something and you lose it forever for a temporary deal.

You leave your imprint, good or bad where ever you live. It's how you live and who you live with that makes it all worthwhile. I do, however, believe in sentimental value.

Im debating, isnt your dream house where you see your kids name imprinted in the cement?
Isnt your dream house the one where your kids grow up?
I dont know... is bigger better? and i can just hear YES!!!!! on that question hehe but I really dont know, Im asking YOU, what would YOU do if you had sentimental value into something and you lose it forever for a temporary deal.
If you would move into the new house on a temorary basis, find someone to do the same with your current house, so when you must move in 10 years, you just move back home.

Love, with your family around you makes a home. Not superficial features of the place you reside.

I moved around alot growing up, and did spend a number of years (high school, couple years of college) in a house we built.

I'd do it. Just as you've found out, what your 'dream house' is now isn't your dream in 10 years. If you want to keep a memory of the house the kids grew up in, chip off that bit of concrete that has their names and take it with you. Make new memories in the new house.

If you can only have it for 10 years, it's obviously not your's and therefore cannot be your dream home...it's just another nice house. Home isn't only where you hang you hat, it's where your memories are.

If you would move into the new house on a temorary basis, find someone to do the same with your current house, so when you must move in 10 years, you just move back home.
that could be a good idea. I mean who wouldnt want that house?
but... my oldest is going to college in 2 years, my youngest will be 15 in two years, I doubt she'll want to spend time with mom, so Im going to be in this big empty house and when I go in a crisis cause my kids are gone, I wont have thier room to remember them by, Im afraid it will feel more like we are staying in a hotel then home.
There is a feeling you cant buy from calling a place your home, when it's a temporary business deal, it's just that..
This is such a tough desicion, the kids want it, who wouldnt! Im the one holding back...

If you can only have it for 10 years, it's obviously not your's and therefore cannot be your dream home...it's just another nice house. Home isn't only where you hang you hat, it's where your memories are.
yes! that's how I feel too!

so, look at it this way....over the course of the 10 years you will have to make 3 moves:

1. out of your house that you built
2. into the new "dream house"
3. into some other new house

hard to build any memories when you're shuffling around like that. i've moved a lot (5 times in 6 years!) and each time i move i'm less and less excited about it.

Im debating, isnt your dream house where you see your kids name imprinted in the cement?
Isnt your dream house the one where your kids grow up?
I dont know... is bigger better? and i can just hear YES!!!!! on that question hehe but I really dont know, Im asking YOU, what would YOU do if you had sentimental value into something and you lose it forever for a temporary deal.NO !!! There only some circumstances where bigger is better, quality over quantity, blah, blah, blah... Question would be, is your current place too crowded? Would moving into the "dream" home improve your quality of life somehow? Or just fulfill a fantasy?

On the other hand, you cannot undo the past. The memories and history you've had in teh current home is already there, the fun, the growth of your kids, the fun times, all that's set in stone, literally. So if you did move, all those precious memories would still be there. You'd just add another 10-years of other good memories on top. So at the end of 10-years, you'd have additional great memories over what you have now.

Personally, I would just get both places. Life doesn't have to be about compromises and either/or... :)

Home is where the heart is, not the walls....grab that dream house and don't look back!

I'd drink a beer.

well I sure would have enough rooms to have the whole foo gang over, so im not sure that a good thing:)
id have to hide the secret room where the bar is.

But would it be that same old local brew you like, or something exotic and wild?

id have to hide the secret room where the bar is.
Wouldn't work. I can sniff 'em out. I used to work for the Feds back during Prohibition.

But would it be that same old local brew you like, or something exotic and wild?
Yes.

Well that settles it.

:lol:

I sometimes find that if i have agonize too much over a decision then there is probably a really good reason not to move in that direction...

I sometimes find that if i have agonize too much over a decision then there is probably a really good reason not to move in that direction...
Or maybe it just means your trying to make an informed decision.

I've moved 21 times in my life. 6 times in the last 5 years. 6 before college. 10 in college. 5 after college.

Moving can be a traumatic event. I''ve heard people in the relo industry refer to the stress a move causes as being equal to experincing a death of a close family member. For me it is less, but for most I would have to agree.

New dream house novelty will wear off quickly. Just like upgrading bikes. You dream of Dura Ace until you get it. Then you want something more.

10 years in one place, in my world, is a lifetime. It's all relative.

If you do it, don't hold on to your existing house (renting out, etc). You won't like how others will make "your" home into their home.

With kids leaving for college...you will eventually want a smaller house. Which is funny because it is at that time in life when most finally have enough money to buy a bigger house.

If you don't spend you money on another house you could spend it on, like, a lot of bikes....yeah.

EDIT: Oh and the most important thing that I have learned is that houses are piles of material. They hold no special powers of life. The people that come in and out of them do.

I think I wanted to hear different thoughts out loud and everytime I hear keep the house you built, I catch myself thinking..see... I should keep it!
so I think this was good for me to type this, makes me realise that I really dont want that dream house all that much.
I think the fact that it is temporary holds me back from calling this "home"

So where is this "dream" place? Gimme some pictures and the agent's contact-info will ya? And what happens after 10-years? Does it self-destruct?

I hate moving...to me four walls cannot be a home. It takes familiarity with the place to start making it a home.

Honestly, if you like the place you are at, and your kids do...you might as well stay.

To me room layout is more important than floorspace anyways. A crappy layout can make a 20x14 room worse than a 9x11 room.

It's buyers market, this dream home is a steal, was on the market for a year and is now reposesed by the bank.
They want to get rid of it at this point. they have been paying tax on it ect.
We have a business, the business could offer them what they owe on the morgage.
But that's the trick of being in a business with your family, everyone wants a piece of what you do.
So.. it's a business deal, we get the house for a steal and in ten years we agree to sell it and we all share the profit. Of course assuming that the market value will be back up :)
there are more details, as in how much money the house is worth and how much cash they are\ready to take to wash thier hands from it. It's a deal hard to pass... but none of the less, a deal... not the same as building your home with love for you to intend living there your whole life

A business deal.
I think that with your kids in college, a large house will be empty feeling. Also, that means a lot more housework, cleaning at the very least. If it is a business deal, have you thought about buying the house, renting it out, and then resell after 10 years?

It's buyers market, this dream home is a steal, was on the market for a year and is now reposesed by the bank.
They want to get rid of it at this point. they have been paying tax on it ect.
We have a business, the business could offer them what they owe on the morgage.
But that's the trick of being in a business with your family, everyone wants a piece of what you do.
So.. it's a business deal, we get the house for a steal and in ten years we agree to sell it and we all share the profit. Of course assuming that the market value will be back up :)
there are more details, as in how much money the house is worth and how much cash they are\ready to take to wash thier hands from it. It's a deal hard to pass... but none of the less, a deal... not the same as building your home with love for you to intend living there your whole life
In that case...I'd jump on it. New memories aren't bad, they're just new. Old memories are better when things have changed enough for you to really appreciate them.

Burn the dream house down. Problem solved.

Love, with your family around you makes a home. Not superficial features of the place you reside.

Ive been very nomadic looking back over my 48 years. To some degree you
make your own 'dream house'. I ahve moved to 'dream houses' of both
the physical and psychologic variety and some have turned into a bad dream. I
just left a bad 'dream house' and in retrospect it was really a good dream house
but the parts I should have been focusing on, I wasnt. All this boorish stuff
means you never, ever know. But, to the question at hand......I would stay.
I remember a thread about a month ago where you where gushing over your
home and NH. Ten Years goes by like a minute. what are you going to do
then when you have neither one :eek:.
We are doing our 5th move in that many years to find our 'dream house'......
It gets old and expensive after a while :cry:

Ive been very nomadic looking back over my 48 years. To some degree you
make your own 'dream house'. I ahve moved to 'dream houses' of both
the physical and psychologic variety and some have turned into a bad dream. I
just left a bad 'dream house' and in retrospect it was really a good dream house
but the parts I should have been focusing on, I wasnt. All this boorish stuff
means you never, ever know. But, to the question at hand......I would stay.
I remember a thread about a month ago where you where gushing over your
home and NH. Ten Years goes by like a minute. what are you going to do
then when you have neither one :eek:.
We are doing our 5th move in that many years to find our 'dream house'......
It gets old and expensive after a while :cry:
I have said that I like my home.. I have, cause I do.. it's home to me. Ive never talked about it in a material manner but in a heart felt way. I think that just made up my mind. :)

Dont fix what isnt broken !!!!!
http://deephousepage.com/smilies/cloud9.gif

I applaud your decision !!

That's where I differ...to me a home is a place to live, not an investment (as I don't plan on moving...I only move when I have no other options), so I wouldn't buy a house to flip 10 years later.

If you love the house this much, could you actually part with it and live in another house 10 years fom now without feeling upset over it? After all, not having the dream is sometimes easier than having it and giving it up.

Depends on whether you are looking for a house or a home.

those point were exactly what bothered me at the first place.
Not the fact that you are moving to better and bigger but the fact that it's temporary.
Once the 10 years is gone.. you basically sold your soul ( the home you made from scracth for your family) for a taste of the highlife.
Im so glad I posted this, I have been tossing and turning about this for a couple weeks.
problem solve. big hug to all of you for making me see that I really dont want to lose my house.

It's buyers market, this dream home is a steal, was on the market for a year and is now reposesed by the bank.
They want to get rid of it at this point. they have been paying tax on it ect.
We have a business, the business could offer them what they owe on the morgage.
But that's the trick of being in a business with your family, everyone wants a piece of what you do.
So.. it's a business deal, we get the house for a steal and in ten years we agree to sell it and we all share the profit. Of course assuming that the market value will be back up :)
there are more details, as in how much money the house is worth and how much cash they are\ready to take to wash thier hands from it. It's a deal hard to pass... but none of the less, a deal... not the same as building your home with love for you to intend living there your whole lifeThen do it as a business deal and rent it out. :) Buy it as a corporation and you get a tonne of benefits:

1. buying at below market-price is safe-bet regardless if you flip it in 1-year or 10-years, you'll still make a profit.

2. write off cost of down-payment as a business expense

3. write off depreciation over the next couple years as the RE market goes down (probably won't hit rock-bottom for another 3-5 years)

4. there's actually a way to set up the deal as a corporation where the cost of ownership is equal to the sale-price at the end so that you have zero net-profit, therefore zero capital-gains tax... (consult a tax-attourney, I didn't tell you about this).


But I'm with Catatonic on this one, I think RE is a poor return on investment capital if you live in the place; you can make so much more elsewhere. Not to mention if you sell it in 10-years, you'd still have to buy a new place to live, and that property will end up costing you as much as the previous house, leaving you with little or no net cash profit. But as passive fixed-income from rentals, I'd hop on it in a second. :)

take out a loan and turn your home into the dream home you want ,


only be cause i hate moving also

But I'm with Catatonic on this one, I think RE is a poor return on investment capital if you live in the place; you can make so much more elsewhere.

I have to disagree......Renting your place will kill you in the long run more often
than not. My Wife and I have flipped 3 live-ins over the past 4 years and made
killings.........Real Estate is the best investment in the world. Better return
than ANYTHING else if you are smart. We are doing this again with our Vermont
house in March. Its hard work and you get tired of moving but from a money
standpoint there is no other way we could have made as much as we have made
in such a short period of time.
Each time we go into a 'better' house from a financial point of view, not
the more important 'this is home' point of view.
I will gladly be done with all this flippery to find the perfect home.

It comes down to numbers. Your time in moving and shuffling your family around has a cost that's hard to quantify. From purely financial point of view, there's a wide range of investment possibilities out there. You have to try them all and see how green the grass is on all sides of the fence. I've never been able to make 400, 800 and 1500% yearly in real-estate, which was certainly possible elsewhere. I then buy real-estate with cash and give zero dollars of free-money away to anyone else. It just comes down to the numbers and how you judge "better" and "best". :)

while i believe in sentimental value it would come down to functionality/cost for me. if you got a really good deal on the big new house, and/or it would make living a lot easier or better, like being a lot closer to a new job or daycare or the kids' school. i'd perhaps take a look at the new house with the whole family and see what they think. cuz houses are part of your family, but your family's happiness is more important than the house itself. I looove my bike but if someone wanted to buy it for 2x what i paid for it, i'll deliver it to their house with a bow on it! my dad feels the same way, he built additions to his house adding up to 3x the original footage, and our family of 5 lived in it for, well the parents have been there for like 35 years, i left after 21 years, my brother is 19 and still there, but he says if someone were to give him $1 million and they said up front they were just going to demolish it and put a taco bell there, he'd say "where do I sign" because a house is just a house, he would be just as sentimental about a beachfront cottage. of course the house and property is only worth probably $500,000 but i guess sentimentality is about $500,000 to him :rolleyes:

Yeah, for me a house is just a place to protect you from the rain. The real sentimental value is the memories you have with your family. No matter where you live, as long as you've got your family and you've got enough quality time with them, that's all I care about. Creating those memories is what's important, and you can do that anywhere really :)

I just had a friend who's applying for a structural-engineering job up here. Pay is going to be similar to what he's making in Burbank. But he doesn't have to waste 2-hours a day commuting from Long Beach. So he automatically gets a 25% raise by cutting out the commute! His quality of life's going to be much better as a result, even if he ends up living in a similar house up here... Well, he won't have to deal with smog, crowded neighborhoods, no parking hassles, no traffic since he's riding 5-minutes to work, etc. :)

Im debating, isnt your dream house where you see your kids name imprinted in the cement?
Isnt your dream house the one where your kids grow up?
I dont know... is bigger better? and i can just hear YES!!!!! on that question hehe but I really dont know, Im asking YOU, what would YOU do if you had sentimental value into something and you lose it forever for a temporary deal.

It sounds like you already made up your mind, but I agree that the dream house is the HOME your kids grew up in.

I bought my house with plans to move in 2-5 years :p

Moving. What a wonderful experience! When I was a child, I went to 6 different schools in 7 years thanks to moving.

Is this a part of the American Super Size Me (http://www.supersizeme.com/)Culture??
Why don't you add a few Hummers to go with that house http://terrengsykkel.no/forum/arena/images/graemlins/devilsmile.gif

Im debating, isnt your dream house where you see your kids name imprinted in the cement?
Isnt your dream house the one where your kids grow up?
I dont know... is bigger better? and i can just hear YES!!!!! on that question hehe but I really dont know, Im asking YOU, what would YOU do if you had sentimental value into something and you lose it forever for a temporary deal.

my future kids names in a nodescript peice of cement will forever take precident over a 10 year dream rental home.