Fifty Plus (50+) - Chastized for hitting a squirrel

Yep, like many others I don’t particularly like squirrels. Maybe it’s my Mother’s efforts at bringing me up as a moral person, but I even go out of my way NOT to hit them while riding. Yesterday as I was heading home from my weekly TT ride, a squirrel is sitting about 30 yards ahead of me. I look over my shoulder for cars, see none, and veer out further into the road to avoid hitting him. Just as I get parallel to him, he darts out into the road and I clip him with my pedal. He does a flip in the air, hits the blacktop and scampers all the way across the road to the other side. I’m thinking, what a stupid little animal, when I hear two woman who are walking nearby shout out, “What’s wrong with you? Why did you hit that squirrel? That’s just cruel.” I shake my head in disbelief and hear one parting comment from the one of the two lovely creatures, “Coward!” I've got to tell you, if I ever see that particular little furry creature again we're going to have some words!

Yep, like many others I don’t particularly like squirrels. Maybe it’s my Mother’s efforts at bringing me up as a moral person, but I even go out of my way NOT to hit them while riding. Yesterday as I was heading home from my weekly TT ride, a squirrel is sitting about 30 yards ahead of me. I look over my shoulder for cars, see none, and veer out further into the road to avoid hitting him. Just as I get parallel to him, he darts out into the road and I clip him with my pedal. He does a flip in the air, hits the blacktop and scampers all the way across the road to the other side. I’m thinking, what a stupid little animal, when I here two woman who are walking nearby shout out, “What’s wrong with you? Why did you hit that squirrel? That’s just cruel.” I shake my head in disbelief and hear one parting comment from the one of the two lovely creatures, “Coward!” I've got to tell you, if I ever see that particular little furry creature again we're going to have some words!

Maybe you need to give the squirrel a gun to even things out a bit.

This story made my morning! :roflmao: :D :roflmao:

Squirels are trained from birth to evoke sympathy from small children and women. Their humble, doll like appearance, has left them portrayed by cartoonists and children's story tellers as the innocent, nut storing, precious little furry beasts of the woods.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

They steal from others, are deceptive and, knowing no better, purposely try to eat spokes on bicycles. This latter habit is what occasionally gets them all wrapped up in their meal as they try to hang on to the spoke while wedging themselves into the fork at a high speed.

They also stink real bad if they get up in the attic and die.

Never give a squirell an even break.

humans have an unspoken agreement with squirrels and pidgeons, "they get out of our way and we overlook the whole messing on statues thing". I know its so because because I saw it on Seinfeld

When you see a squirrel up ahead, if you will hiss loudly at it, like making a really loud ppppfffffffffttt through your teeth, it will cut and run away from the sound.

Try it.

Verminous rodents.

furry-tailed rats

Words with the squirrel? I think the squirrel got his due. I think you should have words with those two idiotic women!

Words with the squirrel? I think the squirrel got his due. I think you should have words with those two idiotic women!

Ha, I thought that's what NOS meant when he said:


<...> I've got to tell you, if I ever see that particular little furry creature again we're going to have some words!

nyuk nyuk nyuk

Next time aim for it. You'll probably miss.

Obviously the OP needs sensitivity training.

squirrels are rodents
rats are rodents
squirrels are rats with big furry tails.

the only squirrel I liked was Tex Avery's Screwy Squirrel.

Can't add to this except to say that our Native Red Squirrel is in danger of being wiped out by the Imported Grey squirrel. They carry a disease that the reds have no immunity to. As far as I am concerned- They are rodents and attempts are being made over here to cut their numbers but without great success.

Squirels are trained from birth to evoke sympathy from small children and women. Their humble, doll like appearance, has left them portrayed by cartoonists and children's story tellers as the innocent, nut storing, precious little furry beasts of the woods.
They lost all my sympathy when as a child I picked one up and it demonstrated very large sharp teeth which removed a section of my thumb which I can still observe today perhaps 55 years later.

the only squirrel I liked was Tex Avery's Screwy Squirrel.

You didn't like this guy, too?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/22/RocketJSquirrel2.jpg/250px-RocketJSquirrel2.jpg

Run with the Squirrels!
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?ei=UTF-8&p=squirrels+&b=10&oid=229cd5f7e90e181c&rurl=www.timothybaptistchurch.net&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fsearch%3Fei%3DUTF-8%26p%3Dsquirrels%2B%26b%3D11

[QUOTE=NOS88]Yep, like many others I don’t particularly like squirrels. Maybe it’s my Mother’s efforts at bringing me up as a moral person, but I even go out of my way NOT to hit them while riding.

NOS,

That tale has me laughing.
My wife and I do a lot of rides on the Schuylkill River Trail from Betzwood down into Philly.

Last year a squirrel ran across the trail right in front of her. She tried to avoid it but ended up taking some hair off the tip of the tail. By the end of the year we figured that the squirrel had put out a contract on her. Or had a web site titled get Bev dot com. It began to look as if every squirrel and groundhog had it in for her. Then birds began to target her with droppings. Then a red shouldered hawk dropped a 3 foot garder snake two feet from her as we pedaled south out of Conshohocken one Oct. day.

Last year there were a lot of squirrels on the trail. This year there are even greater numbers.

Then from Betzwood to Oaks we sometimes have to dodge deer in the evening hours.

[QUOTE=NOS88]Yep, like many others I don’t particularly like squirrels. Maybe it’s my Mother’s efforts at bringing me up as a moral person, but I even go out of my way NOT to hit them while riding.

NOS,

That tale has me laughing.
My wife and I do a lot of rides on the Schuylkill River Trail from Betzwood down into Philly.

Last year a squirrel ran across the trail right in front of her. She tried to avoid it but ended up taking some hair off the tip of the tail. By the end of the year we figured that the squirrel had put out a contract on her. Or had a web site titled get Bev dot com. It began to look as if every squirrel and groundhog had it in for her. Then birds began to target her with droppings. Then a red shouldered hawk dropped a 3 foot garder snake two feet from her as we pedaled south out of Conshohocken one Oct. day.

Last year there were a lot of squirrels on the trail. This year there are even greater numbers.

Then from Betzwood to Oaks we sometimes have to dodge deer in the evening hours.


Time for her to get a shotgun mounted on the bars.

Sounds like the pilot for a new series "Cycles With Squirrels!" Starring Bike Forum's own NOS88!

Then from Betzwood to Oaks we sometimes have to dodge deer in the evening hours.


I've actually had an accident with a deer running into me broadside right along that section.... headed toward Oaks, during the last tree lined section before hitting the open section with the bridge overpass. The deer there are just way too used to people for their own good.

NOS,

Are you one of the regulars on the Philly Trail?

In 2005 we rode the trail 3 to 4 times a week.
This year we had to babysit a grand-son which really cut into the rides.

My wife and I are 65 and ride a pair of Trek Navigators. The two grey haired ones riding single file on the trail.

Three weeks ago we had a ride to remember on the trail.
Pulled out of Betzwood about 9:30 a.m. Barb's snack stand at Conshochocken had not opened so we continued towards Port Royal. Saw two women, one with a flat. Stopped and changed tubes for her and got them on their way again. Good deed for the day.
Stoped at Manayunk for a short rest and then down into Fairmont Park. Part way down into Fairmont Park the police had the trail blocked. Had to go out onto Kelly drive. Turns out a motorcycle hit a tree and the driver was stretched out n the middle of the trail covered with a tarp. One biker told us that the accident also involved a bicycle.
As we approach boathouse row there was an ambulance parked along the curb. An elderly African-American woman sitting on the guerney being treated for injuries to her left arm. Seems that a guy on a bicycle hit her and took off.
A quick snack at the Hall and then on around the front of the Art Museum for a ride up the West Shore.
As we rounded the bend down onto the Spring Garden Street bridge there was a guy stretched out on the pavement. He had come across the street on a little wheel recumbant and caught the curb at an angle. Rolled the recumbent and did in his left ankle. Both broken and dislocated. So we stuck around for the ambulance and loaded his bike into his wife's SUV.
On up the West Shore and into Manayunk.
Then up to Barb's at Conshohocken. Short break and explained our day to that point.
Figured it would be a pleasant uneventful ride back up to Betzwood.
Well! We get up close to the old movie studio converted into office space and apartments we come up behind two women on roller skates. Not in-line skates. Shoe skates like you would see in a roller rink. They were skating side by side taking up the entire width of the trail. We watched one skinny tire biker dive off the trail when they refused to move for him. Then another had to unclip from the pedals and come to a complete stop.
So I took the lead and tried to pass them on their left. Rang my little bell. As I passed they made some nasty comments. Then when my wife went to pass she rang her bell and the one simply would not move. So my wife passed using the very edge of the teail. Then both made some nasty comments. So I wheeled around and went back. Tried to explain the trail rules of the road. Next thing the one is yelling and ranting at me and poking me with her finger. When I hauled out my big cannister of pepper spray she backed off a bit.
We ended up following them up to the cut off into the Betzwood parking lot. As we loaded the bikes onto the car we could hear other bikers yelling at them to give way on the trail.
I figured they got a bunch of flak from other riders and two grey haired riders were safe targets for their stupidity and anger.

On that trail we meet some super nice people and then some real jerks.

- squirrels are tasty if prepared correctly... back when i was in college, we used to ride our 10spds out to the farmlands with our 4x-equipped .22s strapped across our backs... a bag of three or four squirrels provided for nice pot pies... clean, then change out the salt soak water over a day or so, cook in pan, then filet; next, line a pot w/bisquick... throw in some filet, flour, and milk, along with a can of Veg-All and bake... yum!

There's seems to be way too many people on this forum who feel the necessity to respond to every idiot, or every idiotic comment that someone makes. It was just a stupid squirrel, they get run over all the time, and the comments made by the two woman don't deserve a response. Are we out there to ride, or are we out there to change the world?

Last week I tried to avoid a squirrel that insisted on challenging for right of way, and it ended up darting between my front and back wheel. I had slowed to perhaps 15 kph.

There's seems to be way too many people on this forum who feel the necessity to respond to every idiot, or every idiotic comment that someone makes. It was just a stupid squirrel, they get run over all the time, and the comments made by the two woman don't deserve a response. Are we out there to ride, or are we out there to change the world?

This from a guy who wanted to put a bazooka on his bike?

furry-tailed rats

squirrel = tree rat

There's seems to be way too many people on this forum who feel the necessity to respond to every idiot, or every idiotic comment that someone makes. It was just a stupid squirrel, they get run over all the time, and the comments made by the two woman don't deserve a response. Are we out there to ride, or are we out there to change the world?


This from a guy who wanted to put a bazooka on his bike?

I think Joe needs a new forum.

The "Bicycling is a VERY SERIOUS ACTIVITY" forum.

I know a couple of folks that I think would enjoy that forum.

This from a guy who wanted to put a bazooka on his bike?

Perhaps Hask12 meant the bazooka only as defense against squirrels. I recall a squirrel darting under my car tire once...I braked as he purposefully vectored in on instant death and could feel the "crunch" through my brake pedal. Despite his suicidal success, I was gloomy for a short time, and reflected on vanity, mortality, and folly. Little sh*t.

They have Jedi training......

EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH It was my day off and I'm just a quiet guy with no life, so I'm doing what I enjoy: Riding my motorcycle.

I never dreamed that slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect.

I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.

It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really wasn't going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular...

He shot straight up, flew over my handlebars, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack.

Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a
T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing...

I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home.

No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel.

This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all.

His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a VTX can only have one result.

TORQUE.

This is what the VTX is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement.

The squirrel screamed in anger.

The VTX screamed in ecstasy.

I screamed in, well, I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back.

The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike.

This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle...my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me.

As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity.

It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now, the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand...I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked...sort of.

Spectacularly sort of...so to speak.

Picture a new scene.

You are a cop.

You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams.

They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street.

I would have returned to 'fess up' (and to get my glove back). I really would have.

Really.

Except for two things.

First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about
me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his back, doing a crab walk into somebody's front yard, quickly moving away from the car. The cop who had been in the driver's seat was standing in the street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car.

So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it."

Anyway.

That was one thing.

The other?

Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back window, shaking his little fist at me.

That is one dangerous squirrel.

And now he has a patrol car.

A somewhat shredded patrol car but it was all his.

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn signal, made a gentle right turn off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was best to just buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a whole lot of Band-Aids.

I drove straight home and did what guys do. Sat on the sofa, watched sports, got drunk and pondered the existence of squirrels. I'll let you know should I figure it out.

Metric.....you're a frickin' novelist-- and a good one to boot. Great story!

Metric.....you're a frickin' novelist-- and a good one to boot. Great story!

+1 Post of the month in my book

I wish I could take credit for it...it was done by another rider on a motorcycle forum I frequent...but I thought it was perfect for the subject matter. :D

Ever hear someone described as "Squirrely"? Well, now you know what it means.

I stand corrected. The bazooka stays.

I've seen it before but it was a great post all the same. Hilarious.

I remember reading somewhere here where a squirrel ran through the front spokes and caused a guy to take a header - broke collar bone and other nasty injuries. You should feel fortunate.

Caruso

http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2006/09/05/squirrel-takes-out-bicycle-riding-opera-singer/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stuff.co.nz%2Fstuff%2F0%2C2106%2C3786741a4560%2C00.html&frame=true

In 1987 or 88 I was hauling my daughter in a trailer down a paved bike path in New Hampshire. Lovely day, she was grinnin, I was grinnin. Life was beautiful. As we picked up speed on a short down stroke, a squirrel decided to dash out to play chicken. I missed it with the bike, but unfortunately neither the squirrel nor I accounted for the trailer. The trailer wheel caught it and immediately wrapped it up inside the spokes and wheel. By the time I was able to stop, it was just finishing up those last throes of death twitches. And right next to the wide open eyes of my daughter, all of 3 or 4 years of age. Needless to say, that put a damper on the rest of our ride. I had to explain Life and Death long before I was prepared to.

Fast forward to her high school years. She is late, she is speeding on black ice and again a squirrel dashes out. Being on automatic and not realizing the ice is black, she counters and it's off to the races. Flips th car 2 times and ends up upside down on a classic old New England stone wall. Thankfully, besides some bruises she is ok. But not the car. Definitely totalled. Not one square inch was dentless.

I am very suspicious of squirrels now. They are not harmless little creatures. My daughter has vowed to never swerve again. Right.

I remember reading somewhere here where a squirrel ran through the front spokes and caused a guy to take a header - broke collar bone and other nasty injuries. You should feel fortunate.

Caruso


Happened more than once I'm afraid.

http://bulgier.net/pics/bike/Broken/PoorSquirrel_3.html

You didn't like this guy, too?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/22/RocketJSquirrel2.jpg/250px-RocketJSquirrel2.jpg

Yeah, Rocky was okay, but Screwy was classic!