Advocacy & Safety - any motorists apologize to you?

In, " A disscusion with a motorist" StewartP tells of a situation that he handles very well. He and a motorist exchanged views.

" It ended with him apologising for having alarmed me while I was riding and we parted agreeing that more consideration is required form all road users."

Now my question is, has a motorist ever apologized for having done something wrong to you?

I have had 2 say they were sorry. One woman was coming from a side street and didn't stop at the stop sign or yeild to me when I was riding down the main street she was turning on to. She cut me off. I managed to avoid being hit by moving into the oncoming lane, and she drove down the street. Her concience must have got the better of her because she pulled over, got out of her car and waited for me to catch up. She apologized for her move. A second time a similar situation occured only that I caught up to her at the next intersection where she was waiting at a red light. I went up to her window and asked her why she didn't stop at the stop sign. She too apologized for not stopping and cutting me off. Both responses I believed to be genuine.

If I factor in all the other drivers in the area, these women really were, 1 in a million!

:D

Apologize! This should be in the joke section.

I have received a few unsolicited apologies, plus a few that I solicited by pointing out the motorist's errant ways.

My most embarrassing incident was cursing at a motorist after mistakenly thinking he was telling me to move over, when he was actually apologizing for having cut me off earlier. Not real good P.R. for bicycling!

I was riding to work last summer. It was raining and I was not in the best of mood. I saw a small sports car approaching from a side street a bit ahead of me and then stopping right in the middle of the bike lane to wait to turn to the main street. Oh jeez, not another one, I thought. This happens often and it is illegal.

I did what I usually do: I rode straight ahead towards the car, hit the brakes at the last possible moment, put my foot down and looked inside through the passenger's side window. Inside was this startlingly beautiful young blonde girl, looking at me in a very surprised way. Then she gave me the most astonishing apologetic smile, put on reverse and backed off the bike lane. I could not believe my eyes. As I passed the nose of her car she rolled down her window, said she was sorry and wished me a good day.

I don't know if it rained all the way to work or not. For me, it was a bright sunny morning.

--J

Juha - please tell me you didn't let this opportunity pass without asking for her number! ;) "Startlingly beautiful young blonde girl" in a "small sports car"... yummmmmmy!

I've been lucky, having had few cars do things to be apologetic about, and the times we have conflicted we were both able to leave the area of conflict without any real necessity of speaking.

I have had people occasionally meet me later and politely discuss the fact that they think I should not be on the road in poor or dark conditions....but there are MANY more people who say things like, "Wow, I was driving through ---- and saw you way out there on your bike! How far do you go?" :D

I'm still waiting on an apology from the guy that hit me 2 years ago. However ... since he left the scene while I lay on the ground bleeding, awaiting a trip to the ER ... I'm not holding my breath.

To answer your question, I've had many close calls, but have yet to get anything more that a one-fingered salute from my cage dwelling friends.

Rural America has many pros, but it's not very cycling friendly. :mad:

Around here, about the only apology any motorist is likely to give you will go something like this:

Oh, I didn't mean to hit you!!!Are you OK??? Please don't die/sue me!!!

Originally posted by D*Alex
Oh, I didn't mean to hit you!!!Are you OK??? Please don't die/sue me!!! [/B]

The last time I was hit by a car I asked the driver if she saw me coming down the road and the driver said, "Yes, but did you see what that other car did?"

I replied, "Well no, I was more concerened with you driving into me."

The police attended, gave her a ticket for an illegal turn and I settled out of court for a tidy sum.

My dad got hit in the cross walk and his bike under the front of the car,under the wheels and him,at 78 on the hood and the lady would not change her story he ran into her side.It ended by him going to the er to get checked,he paid and she was not cited and left.I guess she being in a MB and my dad in bike shorts answered the polices questions.He was told by friends she was a local in the beach area he was riding.

I have to say my apologies are just like what D*Alex said. The only time I have had anyone say anything, is after they have hit me or cause an accident.

Usually I get people in the morning commute that are painting finger nails, talking on there cell phone (very common) or drinking there coffee veer into the bike lane. I usually just knock on there window firmly and they move out of my way. Never have I had anyone give a wave like they were sorry. I did see one guy get pulled over after almost hitting me as he veered into the bike lane. I wonder if my officer was warning/ticketing him for running me off the road ;)

As both a motorist and a cyclist, I've both given and received apologies.

Most drivers, even most SUV drivers, are neither infallible nor inhuman.

I personally have found eye contact to be the key. When I've got the Oakleys on, I get a different reaction from drivers ... usually worse.

If you have seen the original Blues Brothers movie, where John Belushi is kneeling in the tunnel beneath a rifle packing Carrie Fisher, where he begins his successful plea for his life by sliding his sunglasses down to get eye contact ... that's kind of how I begin to negotiate for space with drivers when I need to make a lane change. And it works.

When I've goofed, a simple shoulder shrug (with eye contact) generally conveys the apology. That goes a long way towards road rage elimination.

It's too bad there is no universal "Sorry, I screwed up" hand or finger symbol. Plenty of hand or finger symbols for rage, but none for apology.

I had a guy pull into the bike lane right in front of me. He was turning right at the next light, at least a quarter mile, and decided that the bike lane was really a pass-on-the-right lane. I followed him and caught his attention and said "did you know that's illegal and dangerous?" (I got that line from one of our fellow BFers).

He was really apologetic. And I have to believe that he was sincere that he didn't know it was illegal. Which is a problem in its own right, but at least the guy was nice about it. Sadly, that's probably the only time anybody has ever said "my bad."

I got an apology from a driver late last year (a tourist from Western Australia, quite obviously not a local). Usually I don't hang around long enough for an apology. If I think they were malicious, I'm on my way to speak to my friendly police officer, if not, I just move on and get on with life.

Both times I've been hit by cars I've had apologies.

I've also had a few times when motorists have given me a guilty "I'm sorry" look or mouthed sorry after they've cut me off. Of course it's the exception rather than the rule.

I've had a couple insincere apologies after I chased down motorists who came close to hitting me (they were both turning into parking lots, otherwise I'd be unable to catch them). To both I said, "Sorry isn't really going to help when you kill someone."

At notoriously dangerous intersections, I often point at and call out to motorists who look like they might be dangerous to me. I sometimes get dirty looks from them, but I do get their attention.

The most effusive apology I've received was after I'd layed my bike down to avoid a collision at a 4-way stop, the motorist apparently didn't understand that I was taking my turn to go. To a non-cyclist, the cyclist's start from a full stop might not be obvious, and we do appear to move slower. He actually convinced me he wasn't trying to hit me, unlike the guy that did bump me, and muttered stuff about not being able to see me because of the bright sun.

I had a recent apology, unsolicited, from a driver who took a left turn into me. He stopped, got out of his van, and apologized profusely (I was by then waiting at a light just a bit down the road). He didn't even come that close-- I'd say five feet, I've had 'em much closer.

I really don't think most drivers want to hit cyclists. In the states, there simply aren't enough of us so that they're used to looking for us. I'd say the nasty drivers are in the minority, but each cyclist runs into enough of them so the whole looks rotten.

What I do wish is that more drivers would be attentive to the task at hand, i.e. driving a car, not talking on a cell phone (interestingly, the other day I saw a cyclist riding while talking on a cell phone).

My usual response to "Sorry I didn't see you " is "That's because you weren't looking"

Originally posted by chewa
My usual response to "Sorry I didn't see you " is "That's because you weren't looking"

I try to not say anything to motorists, whether in response to something or not. You never know what kind of raging, dangerous people are behind the wheel and I'd just rather not create an opportunity for more of a misunderstanding to occur.... or for a motorist to confront me on the pretense of me insulting him or whatever but really the motorist is just looking for a fight.

More than a few times I've been cut off or almost been run down only to have the motorist give ME the finger or scream at me afterwards. So I find it's best just not to say anything.

Plus if there is a confrontation or altercation, it's always best to be able to say to the police that you didn't say or do anything to egg the fight on. If you respond to such people, the police can always say, 'Well, you just shouldn't have said anything,' which is true.

Originally posted by Poguemahone
I really don't think most drivers want to hit cyclists. In the states, there simply aren't enough of us so that they're used to looking for us. I'd say the nasty drivers are in the minority, but each cyclist runs into enough of them so the whole looks rotten.

I think the biggest mistake people make in these situations is assuming that everything is either accidental or deliberate. I would suggest that the majority of them are neither - they are reckless, meaning that the driver simply doesn't care either way.

Once
I saw him coming with an obsticle on his side, much closer to him so i slowed up a little he came into my lane then back. He did just what I planneed, but said he was sorry as he went by. I said no problem thanks.
Joe
:beer: