Foo - Love?

So I've been sleepless since Saturday, my appetite has disappeared, I feel like I'm losing my mind...it's so preoccupied with thoughts of her.

Let me rewind a bit.

You see, I had a crush on this girl when I was about 13 years old. I thought she was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. But I never had the courage to tell her, let alone act on my attraction. So we fell out of touch.

Fast forward to three years ago. So I find myself with an incredible stroke of luck, and run into her at a restaurant bar on her birthday. She seems elated to see a friendly face from her past, and begs us to stay in touch. So I meet her for a lovely dinner at McCormick & Schmidts. I go all out, and order us a $100 worth of seafood,wine, and desserts. She repays me by taking me to the season opener of NFL football with stunningly choice seats. We part both times without so much as a kiss or embrace. Just really close friends. That's rare, so I don't mind a bit. But I call her every other day just to hear her voice and stay in touch.

But time passes, and we fall out of touch again. It's so easy for the months to turn into years without so much as a word. Then she buys a house close to mine, and of course invites me to her housewarming. But that night proved fateful, as I surprised myself with intense feelings of jealousy at her other suitors prescence, and promply got drunk, and passed out on her couch. Embarrased, I purposefully let the time go by, and hoped she would forget me...

Well I just happened to run into her again, and she invites me out to her friends birthday party this past weekend. When I arrive, I am not prepared for her beauty. With my words stuck somewhere in my throat, I manage to tell her how great it is to be with her again.

"I know" she says "you're just like family."

Family. Like friends, pets, and clergy...I fear I was regulated to non-intimate status.

But the night went on, and the wine fueled discussions led to the subject of relationships and marriage.
I suddenly felt four pairs of eyes on me...it seems I had allowed myself to drift off during the conversation. Thinking of her...

Her friend breaks the spell. "So we start talking about marriage, and you decide to zone out? Typical male!"

"Well...um...no...I actually find the thought quite romantic" I reply nervously.

Later that evening, the woman, who I shall refer to forthwith as N.S., asks for a picture. She presses her cheek against mine and waits for the flash. All I can think about is how warm her skin feels against mine.

We take a look at the picture. "What a stunning couple" I say. She smiles. Her friend says offhandedly "I think you two should go together..." I'm shocked. It would have been rude, If I didn't agree. But how did she feel?

Before anything else could be said, the DJ put on some improbably loud music. So instead of saying anything, N.S. just threw her arms in the air and started to dance in front of me. I grabbed her hand, and spun her around. Then we danced. It was awkward and magical at the same time, if that's possible.

After three songs, she proclaims her need for a drink. I stand there like a Palace Beefeater and totally miss my cue to escort her to the bar. Her friend grabs her and she disappears.

So I grab a seat, and every woman I see, of which there are many...reminds me of her.

She comes over to say she's leaving, and I kiss her hand. Her friend remarks that she is eavesdropping on us..."Listening to every word I am saying" I reply "Well, if that's true, then you know that I'm speechless." It was an understatement.

In fact, Ive been speechless ever since that night. Actually, I just left my first message tonight. I was relieved the machine picked up.
I've never been so flummoxed in my life. I've taken chances before with strangers, but I know this woman. In fact, I've known her for a very long time. I would not ruin our close friendship for anything less than love.

I may indeed love her...But what of her? What does she feel? a wrong guess, or bringing this up at all could be the death of one of the best things I have going for me. A true friend that accepts my every quirk.

But acceptance is quite different from love.

I have no idea what to do, so I'm writing this essay.

I may be blessed with a formidable mind, but I am no genius of the heart. For once in my life, I have no way of finding the answer to the puzzle. I have no idea what I'm going to do, and the very thought of it scares me like hell.

Is this love?

Is this love?

Pretty much!

Sorry for being so simplistic after that well thought out essay dipper but...

tell her how you feel?

Pretty much!

Or bad chili.

Thats deep man.

Sorry for being so simplistic after that well thought out essay dipper but...

tell her how you feel?
Yeah, that'll work. :rolleyes:

Considering your feelings for her, if you could look at the situation objectively, are there any clues or hints that she dropped that would push you to "back off" or "make a move"?

Or you could also plan a romantic evening w/ her. Dinner, dancing, long walk, whatever you can come up with that's quiet and sends only one signal: romance. If she still doesn't take the bait, you have your answer. And if she does, you have your answer.

Maybe asess the situation and figure out if you think she'd be scared off if you let her know randomly that you are interested in her and have been for a long time. Depending on what you think, obviously the best choice is to take a chance and let her know how you feel.

Is she the kind of person who would let your friendship die if you made a move on her?

Is this love?

indeed it is. you can share your feelings with her with little risk. really. somehow, i believe this is so. maybe because that's been my experiences.

find out for yourself what you have been yearning for. it will be worth it regardless of the outcome. i somehow have the feeling you both may want the same thing. if not for a few moments. but don't speak. just do.

been there. done that. no regrets.

we didn't speak. it just took form. seriously. it was spiritual.

hope this helps.

and just know that whatever the outcome. thing's get better and better. really better. my gal now moves me like none other. things don't just happen for a reason. they happen for a good reason.

Considering your feelings for her, if you could look at the situation objectively, are there any clues or hints that she dropped that would push you to "back off" or "make a move"?

Not to lean on my condition as a crutch, but believe me , I've tried.I cannot for the life of me understand the way people express their emotions. I have a very hard time reading people. I get it mostly wrong. Just the way it is. The few relationships I've had, the women had to tie me down and literally sit on me and force me to see that they were serious about a relationship. Otherwise, I would just sit there and bore them to death with my polite conversation...if you know what I mean.


Or you could also plan a romantic evening w/ her. Dinner, dancing, long walk, whatever you can come up with that's quiet and sends only one signal: romance. If she still doesn't take the bait, you have your answer. And if she does, you have your answer.

Nothing could be more romantic than the things we've done together. They just didn't involve holding hands and kissing. She's not real big on PDA's, so again I don't know what more to do...besides risking our friendship. She's very sensitive and private. She would rather content herself with her circle of friends and medical career then interrupt her life dealing with some knucklehead. We have that in common. We both convinced ourselves that we are a bit too eccentric for the dating game. So akward to cross that line with her...I can see her feeling uncomfortable.

Then again, I can see her sigh with relief, that her lonely days are over.

Yes, I have no clue. I wish some woman would read this and sprinkle me with some insight. Or knock me over the head with a rolling-pin. Whichever works better.

If this is love, then it's not that different than the flu. No real cure, and I'm getting progressively worse by the day...

Dude, you should write romance-novels. ;) My chic's reading over shoulders and she's going, "Aww, how cute! :)" and all I can do is.. http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-Puking.gif

The following is my dissertation for the love of my fellow brothers; I feel for you, your yearning and struggles with "them". Your desires for connectedness, warm embraces, respect and understanding. It's not meant as a critique, just some observations and suggestions (might be "tough love" to some). You are not in a good position to take this forward to the results YOU want and you might destroy the friendship that already exists, leaving you with nothing and being worse off than before, so be careful...


"I may be blessed with a formidable mind, but I am no genius of the heart. For once in my life, I have no way of finding the answer to the puzzle. I have no idea what I'm going to do, and the very thought of it scares me like hell."

It don't think it's "love", rather it's more of "in-love", "i.e. infatuation", "lust", "attraction". It's mother-nature's "free ride" where her chemical-cocktail messes with your mind and emotions. True love is not so fickle or demented. ;) I think love can only really show up after you've been with someone for a while, might take years... It comes from trust, from common values and goals, from thousands of shared moments, from commitment and dedication, integrity and caring, etc...

But from here, there's an infinite number of approaches, I'll point out just two:

1. You tell her you're "in love" with her. Personally I think this approach is too shocking, too quick too soon and you're placing 1275% of the power in her hands. If you're "lucky" and previous happenstances coincidentally and accidently occured to put you in a favorable light in her eyes, then she might go for it. But again, it's ALL up to her... In all my friend's and my own experience, this is a low-percentage move, less than 20%.

2. You do what you've done before, pull back and make her beg for more. It's worked well so far, no need to change your strategy, be it intentional or not. You need to work on yourself, practice the things you do well and have confidence in. You want to act out of heart, not out of mind. Not the heart that's in your chest where you feel the tugging and pounding, but the bigger heart, the space that's outside of you that comforts you and those around you. Work on visualizations, affirmations and change how you see yourself and her in a relationship. You aren't an unworthy peasant worshipping an ideal image on a pedestal, you are doing HER a favor by letting her be with you. Easy way to imagine this is that she's some bratty little sister that you have to babysit, success ratios are much better with this approach, +50%. You want her to make the moves... There's a difference between making a woman submit to your whims and desires... and having her surrrender... http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-tongue.gif


Personally, I don't worry or bother with such hypothetical what-ifs stuff, I just go and play in the moment... forever and after is just recreating the moments you want over and over again... some scenes from this last weekend...
http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/Parties/WeekendParties061021.jpg

indeed it is. you can share your feelings with her with little risk. really. somehow, i believe this is so. maybe because that's been my experiences.

find out for yourself what you have been yearning for. it will be worth it regardless of the outcome. i somehow have the feeling you both may want the same thing. if not for a few moments. but don't speak. just do.

been there. done that. no regrets.

we didn't speak. it just took form. seriously. it was spiritual.

hope this helps.

and just know that whatever the outcome. thing's get better and better. really better. my gal now moves me like none other. things don't just happen for a reason. they happen for a good reason.

Wow.:)


I mean, wow.:)

(I am scared out of my mind.)

Yes, I have regrets
More than a few
But what I regret the most
Are the things I didn't do

Yes, I have regrets
More than a few
But what I regret the most
Are the things I didn't do
I'm only 19, and shlt, that's one of the truest things I've ever known.

I'm Sorry I only read the first paragraph and I can tell you're a wuss who will get walked all over by women. Your post is way to long and further reading is not necessary to recognize your lack of manliness. Either be a little more manly and less "sensitive man" or be a door mat your whole life.

. You need to work on yourself, practice the things you do well and have confidence in.

This is the most important part of the whole thing. All of her friends are stunningly beautiful, ,but they only have one criteria for a man---that he not be "counterfit".

Their definition of a "counterfit man"? Well, I happened to ask. It's a man trying too hard to be great.

By thier standards, you can be penniless and deformed...as long as you are honest.

But I wonder how she would feel about some real honesty? Not everyone wants to break the spell of mystery. Maybe she is "in love with love", and lusts after me.

Going all Catholic-confession on her may break the spell...for good.

I'm only 19, and shlt, that's one of the truest things I've ever known.
wait till you get to be 52...it doesn't change

I'm Sorry I only read the first paragraph and I can tell you're a wuss who will get walked all over by women. Your post is way to long and further reading is not necessary to recognize your lack of manliness. Either be a little more manly and less "sensitive man" or be a door mat your whole life.

Umm..Bert...I was born* "sensitive". It's just the way I am. I spent many uncomfortable years trying to accomodate people like you, but it's a waste of time. I will, at the end of the day, still be sensitive on the inside despite whatever mask I choose to wear to make others more comfortable with my being.

And yet, the mask has no effect to change the appearance of others. They will forever remain cruel and harsh in their ways.

For now I'll consider my lack of harshness a blessing, thank you. It may make me a better writer, indeed a better person in the end.



*Look up Asperger's Syndrome and HFA. You might learn a thing or two.

I'm Sorry I only read the first paragraph and I can tell you're a wuss who will get walked all over by women. Your post is way to long and further reading is not necessary to recognize your lack of manliness. Either be a little more manly and less "sensitive man" or be a door mat your whole life.
Cold, dude.

You've never really fallen hard? I mean hard?

I don't recall what condition you meant unless you mean the universal man condition of never getting the hints women drop so if the romantic things you've done haven't yielded any results, then just be her friend and move on. Unless you haven't had your mack on in which case, do something romantic and get your mack on. And by that, I mean spit mad romantic lyrics at her. Like, "So why'd fate bring us back together again?" or "Damn girl, you're as fine as wine and better than cheddar." :D

Their definition of a "counterfit man"? Well, I happened to ask. It's a man trying too hard to be great.

By thier standards, you can be penniless and deformed...as long as you are honest.I think a lot of people get that word mixed up, they're not looking for the opposite of lying. I think what they really mean is sincere. Truly meaning and genuinely expressing and feeling what you're saying. Women are highly tuned-in to sniffing the subconscious and subliminal messages that you send out, your posture, your gesture, your expressions. If you say something that's not genuine, it'll come across as fake.

It's not a scorecard that flashes a number at the end of the night, but they'll pick it up as an impression... a feeling about you. It could be, "You know, there's just something about that guy, I don't know what it is... but he creeps me out!"

or it could just as easily be, "You know, there's just something about that guy, I don't know what it is... but I want to have a thousand babies with him!"

The outer self has to be in harmony with your inner self. For example, I'm not going into a invite a girl out salsa-dancing if I know that I don't have the moves down. I'm not offering her an experience that I want her to have. It's not sincere.

I'm also not going to talk at a financial seminar about investments if in the back of my head, I know that my checkbook isn't balanced or that I have a tonne of money out in long-term debt. It's not congruent with the results I'm offering people and it won't come across as genuine and sincere.

So, the powerful personae is that you're a complete person, you are sure of what you are and what you have... because you've done the work to make yourself great.. it really comes across. :) Part of the problem with the dating-ladder is that both sides are trying to get the "best" that they can. Guys go for the hottest, sweetest, most devoted, easiest, etc. chic they can, and the chics go for the most supportive, fun, successful, caring, warm, whatever guy they can get. Problem is there's always going to be some propping-up and deception on both sides...

Umm..Bert...I was born* "sensitive". It's just the way I am. I spent many uncomfortable years trying to accomodate people like you, but it's a waste of time. I will, at the end of the day, still be sensitive on the inside despite whatever mask I choose to wear to make others more comfortable with my being.

And yet, the mask has no effect to change the appearance of others. They will forever remain cruel and harsh in their ways.

For now I'll consider my lack of harshness a blessing, thank you. It may make me a better writer, indeed a better person in the end.



*Look up Asperger's Syndrome and HFA. You might learn a thing or two.
Despite what people think, lots of people in real life consider me sensitive too. Lots of smalls things plague my mind, and all kinds of things bother me, due to my sensitivity. It has nothing to do with being a man at all. Efrobert is definitely an ignorant person, that's the only way he could make such comments. Ignore them dipper, I applaud you for revealing your feelings.

You're definitely more of a man in my book, than all the ignorant, and selfish people could ever be :D

Love is a crazy whirlwind of stomach twisting emotions. Someday, you will have to tell her how you feel. At least then she will know and either something will happen, or something won't. Then at least you can get on with your life with or without her. Hopefully with. :) Good luck Serendipper. Love can be a wonderful, amazing thing...but it is never claimed to be easy.

BAH! Lust is easy, just stick with that and you'll always get what you want! ;) http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-JumperBoldblue.gifhttp://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-JumperBoldRed.gifhttp://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-JumperYellow.gif

Dude, that's like, deep. :)

But seriously, I was in similar situation a long time ago. She was a good friend of mine, I always have feelings for her. One day when we were at a party, some other girl was joking around with her and I couldn't hear what the other girl said, but she answered to her: "I don't know, I don't have a boyfriend right now. I wish a guy would ask me out." And she was giving me the look the whole time she said that.

Being the spineless wuss I am, I just froze there.

I would give my left nut for a re-do.

BAH! Lust is easy, just stick with that and you'll always get what you want! ;) http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-JumperBoldblue.gifhttp://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-JumperBoldRed.gifhttp://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e346/DannoXYZ/GraemlinsSmilies/Graemlin-JumperYellow.gif

Yeah, but do I really want herpes?:rolleyes:

:)

I cannot for the life of me understand the way people express their emotions. I have a very hard time reading people. I get it mostly wrong. Just the way it is.I feel for you there. I can't seem to read anyone.

Anyway, perhaps a better presentation of the concept efrobert was getting at is this (http://briankim.net/blog/2006/08/why-nice-guys-cant-get-girls/). I'm probably the least qualified person to comment on women, so someone else will need to verify if this is good advice or not.

I feel for you there. I can't seem to read anyone.

Anyway, perhaps a better presentation of the concept efrobert was getting at is this (http://briankim.net/blog/2006/08/why-nice-guys-cant-get-girls/). I'm probably the least qualified person to comment on women, so someone else will need to verify if this is good advice or not.


That was an excellent article. I think she is attracted to the "man" in me, as I am a risk taker and boldly myself to a fault.

Will she think I'm "too nice" and a "pushover?"Well, no worries there, as I can't imagine she thinks I'm much of a "nice guy" for not calling her in three days.:rolleyes:

Okay...deep breath. I'll figure this out. Hopefully before she's engaged to someone else, and tells me that she would have married me if I had only made a move instead of posting on the forums.:eek:


~:cry: **:lol: ~
~Drama~

Bah, nothing a couple of ruffies won't solve.

Honestly though, if she died tonight would you regret not telling her how you feel?

Honestly though, if she died tonight would you regret not telling her how you feel


Hell yes.

<--Don't say things like that, or I'll send the twins through your monitor to choke you until you repent.:)

Hell yes.

<--Don't say things like that, or I'll send the twins through your monitor to choke you until you repent.:)

Then what are you waiting for? Tell her, but not in a creepy, smothering kinda way.

True story. When I first started dating my girlfriend, I felt the same way (still do six years later). I got one of those chain letter things about telling the person how you really feel before it's too late. The next day I did.

Those twins are kinda creepy....

I may indeed love her...But what of her? What does she feel? a wrong guess, or bringing this up at all could be the death of one of the best things I have going for me. A true friend that accepts my every quirk.

But acceptance is quite different from love.

I have no idea what to do

why is it that you feel as though you have to do anything?

why not just continue on and see where it take you, i mean you will not be able to hide your true feelings, you're probably glowing like some pie faced, bright eyed adolescent everytime you're around her anyway, so why think that you're going to play it cool now...

like why wait 3 days to call, nothing wrong with a breakfast wakeup call after truly enjoying someones company, or flowers and a "thank you for being you.. i really enjoyed myself last night/this morning.." note type thing. i've always thought it weak to wait if its really on your mind, just be real.

and best of all, deep breath and enjoy these days bro, all of the emotions are magnified now, really good stuff, and best of success...

i've got faith in you!

K>

So I've been sleepless since Saturday, my appetite has disappeared, I feel like I'm losing my mind...it's so preoccupied with thoughts of her.

Let me rewind a bit.

You see, I had a crush on this girl when I was about 13 years old. I thought she was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. But I never had the courage to tell her, let alone act on my attraction. So we fell out of touch.

Fast forward to three years ago. So I find myself with an incredible stroke of luck, and run into her at a restaurant bar on her birthday. She seems elated to see a friendly face from her past, and begs us to stay in touch. So I meet her for a lovely dinner at McCormick & Schmidts. I go all out, and order us a $100 worth of seafood,wine, and desserts. She repays me by taking me to the season opener of NFL football with stunningly choice seats. We part both times without so much as a kiss or embrace. Just really close friends. That's rare, so I don't mind a bit. But I call her every other day just to hear her voice and stay in touch.

But time passes, and we fall out of touch again. It's so easy for the months to turn into years without so much as a word. Then she buys a house close to mine, and of course invites me to her housewarming. But that night proved fateful, as I surprised myself with intense feelings of jealousy at her other suitors prescence, and promply got drunk, and passed out on her couch. Embarrased, I purposefully let the time go by, and hoped she would forget me...

Well I just happened to run into her again, and she invites me out to her friends birthday party this past weekend. When I arrive, I am not prepared for her beauty. With my words stuck somewhere in my throat, I manage to tell her how great it is to be with her again.

"I know" she says "you're just like family."

Family. Like friends, pets, and clergy...I fear I was regulated to non-intimate status.

But the night went on, and the wine fueled discussions led to the subject of relationships and marriage.
I suddenly felt four pairs of eyes on me...it seems I had allowed myself to drift off during the conversation. Thinking of her...

Her friend breaks the spell. "So we start talking about marriage, and you decide to zone out? Typical male!"

"Well...um...no...I actually find the thought quite romantic" I reply nervously.

Later that evening, the woman, who I shall refer to forthwith as N.S., asks for a picture. She presses her cheek against mine and waits for the flash. All I can think about is how warm her skin feels against mine.

We take a look at the picture. "What a stunning couple" I say. She smiles. Her friend says offhandedly "I think you two should go together..." I'm shocked. It would have been rude, If I didn't agree. But how did she feel?

Before anything else could be said, the DJ put on some improbably loud music. So instead of saying anything, N.S. just threw her arms in the air and started to dance in front of me. I grabbed her hand, and spun her around. Then we danced. It was awkward and magical at the same time, if that's possible.

After three songs, she proclaims her need for a drink. I stand there like a Palace Beefeater and totally miss my cue to escort her to the bar. Her friend grabs her and she disappears.

So I grab a seat, and every woman I see, of which there are many...reminds me of her.

She comes over to say she's leaving, and I kiss her hand. Her friend remarks that she is eavesdropping on us..."Listening to every word I am saying" I reply "Well, if that's true, then you know that I'm speechless." It was an understatement.

In fact, Ive been speechless ever since that night. Actually, I just left my first message tonight. I was relieved the machine picked up.
I've never been so flummoxed in my life. I've taken chances before with strangers, but I know this woman. In fact, I've known her for a very long time. I would not ruin our close friendship for anything less than love.

I may indeed love her...But what of her? What does she feel? a wrong guess, or bringing this up at all could be the death of one of the best things I have going for me. A true friend that accepts my every quirk.

But acceptance is quite different from love.

I have no idea what to do, so I'm writing this essay.

I may be blessed with a formidable mind, but I am no genius of the heart. For once in my life, I have no way of finding the answer to the puzzle. I have no idea what I'm going to do, and the very thought of it scares me like hell.

Is this love?
Dipper, my friend, it sounds like a good beginning!

As to matters of the heart, often a formidable mind and understanding the heart are mutually exclusive. All I can say is if you want to find out, take a risk. The results could surprise you with the reward!:D

I would explain to her certain aspects of your life, I believe you know what I mean, unless she knows anyway since you've known her a long time. :D

Good luck working this out, I hope you do find every happiness!:D

I have two bits of advice.

First, you're not danno - don't try to be him.

Second, you need to select an environment where you can be alone, without her feeling threatened - somewhere where you can talk without a DJ cranking up music, or a waiter will come by and interrupt a conversation to ask how everything is, somewhere that you can present her with a flower that you've cleverly concealed until just the right time, and steal a quick kiss while she's holding it in her hand and her eyes are smiling. Then talk with her. Tell her how you feel, if you haven't told her about your challenges with expressing yourself, perhaps that would be good too.

Good luck. I always felt awkward in these situations until I adjusted the balance between thinking and acting. It can be a learned skill. :)

I read your first post, started to read others and just thought I would put my two cents in. Just tell her how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get it over with. Its either going to happen or not. Life is all about risks. I really hope for your sake she feels the same but just doesn't know how to act on it.

Good luck. :)

'dipper, look at snowy's response above. She's right.

"N.S." is giving you so many positive signs and green lights. It's sometimes hard to see them when you are blinded by the glare of these incredible moments and feelings.

Love is different for everyone, but as many have stated, if you don't act on it and let your guard down to find out what the other person feels, you will miss out.

Good luck.... !!

Man, that initial rush in a relationship is sure a roller coaster.... hang on!

I'd still try some Pepto-Bismal before doing anything else.

As they say... sometimes you have to risk it all to get it all. I think you're at that point; you have to find some way to tell her, something a little less subtle than vacant looks, drool, incoherent babble etc. But you also have to be prepared for the fact that it will change things irrevocably. Maybe for the good (you get the girl), maybe for the bad (you just get a stomachache) or maybe neutrally (you're able to remain friends, but you won't be as close so as to prevent awkwardness).

How to do it? That's a different story. There are volumes written on just that topic. Look at the posts so far offering advice. Everything from the caveman simplistic "grow some balls" to elaborate schemes for romance and creating opportunity. If you figure out a definitive way to handle it, I suggest you write your own book for the rest of our benefit!

Seriously, you just have to be yourself and find a way to go for it; how ever you define that.

Or you can just plod along with the status quo and be miserable. I suppose if you're really lucky, she'll get bored with your buffoonery and take matters into her own hands, but you can't count on that. She may just as easily meet someone else who isn't so reticent at making his intent/desire known.

I guess the bottom line you have to ask yourself is, is the risk worth the potential downside? And only you can decide that. Not any of us.

Strike while the iron's hot, etc.

You'll regret it if you don't, etc.

World isn't going to end if you aren't successful, etc.

Oh, and don't use the "don't want to risk the friendship" mumbojumbo. I remember using that excuse and regret it every time I look back. If she really is your friend, and you try and fail to start a romance, she'll still be your friend.

You've never really fallen hard? I mean hard?
I have! I was on a ride one day and this guy lost control of his bike, and there was a pole coming right ahead of me so....
oh... we're not talking bikes here are we?:D
congrat serendipper, yep..that's love:)

For me- The first love is/was the best.

Try to hold onto it. I found I looked for the first love in all subsequent relationships. Not there.

Don't settle.

Don't wait until you are 50 (after you've "settled "and can't "really" have the first love when it comes full circle) to realize the above.

Remember- riding a bike is cheaper than therapy... .

Umm..Bert...I was born* "sensitive". It's just the way I am. I spent many uncomfortable years trying to accomodate people like you, but it's a waste of time. I will, at the end of the day, still be sensitive on the inside despite whatever mask I choose to wear to make others more comfortable with my being.

And yet, the mask has no effect to change the appearance of others. They will forever remain cruel and harsh in their ways.

For now I'll consider my lack of harshness a blessing, thank you. It may make me a better writer, indeed a better person in the end.


It's not sensitivity that is your problem, it's timidity.
Stop pu$$yfooting around and kiss her the next time you're together.
And NOT on the freakin' hand!

Pathetic!

It's not sensitivity that is your problem, it's timidity.
Stop pu$$yfooting around and kiss her the next time you're together.
And NOT on the freakin' hand!

Pathetic!
pu$$yfooting, that's a new one to replace beat around the bush?:eek:

You're definitely more of a man in my book, than all the ignorant, and selfish people could ever be :D

Very true.

Is it love? I honestly feel that only you can answer that. I really believe that love is different for everyone. But if it was me, yeah, I'd call it love.

...and by-the-way...LOL at BDG!!! :D

pu$$yfooting, that's a new one to replace beat around the bush?:eek:

Well, that phrase, unfortunately, now has political connotations.

I didn't want to further confuse the yougin', in his love-addled state...

You notice I didn't tell him to "Stay the course"

Well, that phrase, unfortunately, now has political connotations.


:lol:

Love is when you would do anything to see that person just one more time, When you put them before yourself without thinking. There are so many ways to describe it that we could be here all day. I thought one time about what it would be like if she was suddenly gone and it made me sadder than I've ever been....I realized then that I live to make her happy and that is my only goal...everything else is just a short second place.

pu$$yfooting, that's a new one to replace beat around the bush?:eek:
Someone tell me, did this really come out of bdgs mouth? or am I just sick in the mind :roflmao:

If all of you didn't have such gutter-minds, you'd know it's a perfect descriptor for the OP's romantic "advances":


pu$$yfoot (http://www.allwords.com/word-*****footing.html)
verb, intr pu$$yfooted, pu$$yfooting

1. To behave indecisively; to avoid committing oneself.

Thesaurus: avoid, evade, equivocate, dodge, sidestep, hedge.
2. To pad about stealthily.

;)

If all of you didn't have such gutter-minds, you'd know it's a perfect descriptor for the OP's romantic "advances":



;)
see.... no mind in the gutter here:p :D
just feeling a little evil today...:p

trying to decipher all of this