Foo - Okay. So I'm having a hard time holding this in.

Yesterday I found out one of the girls I hang out with (there are four of us pals) died. From an overdose. She was on prescription meds, and was out on stress leave. Some say that it was suicidal, some say she probably drank liquor with the drugs and made a bad mistake. Either way, she's gone.

So I've been talking back and forth with a few supportive friends. We had actually started to discuss whether or not we should try to stop someone from suicide. And within there the question came up:

ARE YOU AFRAID OF DEATH?

It came out that we talked about acceptance of death and denial of it - the results of both and how they would matter in the mind of the person considering committing suicide.


Please discuss.





(Mods if this is inappropriate, please delete this. I don't want offend anyone. :o )

Sorry to hear about your friends passing Siu. It's a tragedy regardles of how she died.

Having been placed in a couple of situations where I was staring death in the face and come out of them...I can say that I didn;t fear death at that(those) very moments. In general, I'm a person who doesn't spend a lot of time contemplating my mortality. While I can see why someone could take their own life...it's not something I would consider. There is always a reason to be alive.

My thoughts are with you during this time. Hang in there.

Im afraid of death to a certain point. If i have to die for my family i will. I tend to not think of death because im just to young for it, and i encourage my grandparents(mostly)/anyone else to do the same. Death is just a thing in life no one can bipass. But sorry to hear about your friend.

Heavy topic, but one that I feel few are willing to face. I'm not really afraid of death, but there are certian ways I'd prefer to go over others. In my sleep is at the top of my list and being burned to death is at the bottom.

Having a terminal illness has opened me up to the prospect of rational suicide as a very viable option. As a matter of fact I have the modalities in place to cleanly effect an exit decission when the time comes. My partner and I have disscussed this at length and while it's not something she sees as an option for her and she wasts as much time with me as possible, she understands that I don't want to suffer, nor does she want to see me suffer. She's made peace with my decission and supports me entirely.

OTOH, in another life I suffered greatly from depressionas a result of unaddressed G.I.D. and was also suicidal... this was a very different animal, irrational suicide. Never an answer to life's 'problems'. There's always an answer, but sometimes we never realize the solution until it's too late.

FWIW, Dr. Kavorkian is a hero in my book. :)

Yesterday I found out one of the girls I hang out with (there are four of us pals) died. From an overdose. She was on prescription meds, and was out on stress leave. Some say that it was suicidal, some say she probably drank liquor with the drugs and made a bad mistake. Either way, she's gone.

So I've been talking back and forth with a few supportive friends. We had actually started to discuss whether or not we should try to stop someone from suicide. And within there the question came up:

ARE YOU AFRAID OF DEATH?

It came out that we talked about acceptance of death and denial of it - the results of both and how they would matter in the mind of person committing suicide.


Please discuss.





(Mods if this is inappropriate, please delete this. I don't want offend anyone. :o )
For me the thought of death comes down to fear. Fear of the unknown. Is there life after death? Is there nothing? The thought of no life after death scares me alot. I think how we feel on the matter, whether we believe there is a god, at least for me plays a huge role. There has been those brief moments where my day has been so bad I wondered if life wasn't worth it. But I always have the comfort of knowing, that through enduring to the end I can reach a higher plane of understanding and love. That's just my opinion on the matter though.

But in the mind of someone who's contemplating suicide I suppose the end result doesn't matter to them. I mean it doesn't affect how they are feeling, all they feel is bad and the only way out is to end the pain they are suffering.

Anyways sbw, my only advice is to go hug someone you love, eat some comfort food, and take it easy :)

As I say when someone dies "god be with you till me meet again". :)

A life ended so young is a trajedy...Today might seem bad and tomorrow unbearable but no one should quit life. Like Cycle17 I have seen death one too many times and do not fear it. Ride by any cemetery and you will see rows and rows of irreplaceable people. My life's goal is to love too much, laugh too much, hurt too much and die with no regrets.

The whole situation sucks. There are no words to describe the loss of a life under those circumstances. Be well and talk to your friends and family...

Siu, that's sad news for sure.

I'm not afraid of death, but that's largely because of my faith. That said, I don't seek it, and I plan on taking all measures possible to ensure I spend as much time as possible here before I pass on.

I'm very sorry for your loss SBW, so sad to have a friend die so unexpectedly.

As far as my fearing death, no, I don't think I do, however, I do fear not living life to it's fullest, and being as good a person as I can be. I've known people who have lived their lives in the same town, doing the same things, and not experiencing a full life, I would not want that, I want to see the world, do all I can and make others as happy along with those things. If I live a full and happy life, I have no fear of the end, I'll go with a smile!

I'd love to hang around, but 5AM comes early. I'll catch up in the morning. G'night all :love:

Death is the enemy of life. If my life is mine then death is my enemy as well. An enemy should be feared.

In the context of suicide, should it be asked "Are you afraid of life?"

Some people spend their whole lives looking for meaning, looking for something to ease them towards the inevitable. But when they finally get there in a way that doesn't agree with our own notions of how we should lead our lives, we consider that disillusioned.

On one hand, if they see that as their only solution even though there might be other solutions, then they should so be informed. But if afterwards, they feel that it only prolongs the inevitable and they don't want to wait, then they're at the point where they willingly accept it then that's great for them, they no longer fear death. So when they're finally willing to welcome it with open arms, its their choice.

We shouldn't impose our standards of what is or isn't. Some people may actually enjoy living a meager existence in a small town. I have a friend who doesn't care that he's not living this life to its fullest because he believes that he's only here to prepare for the next life. He's a great guy and who am I to change his mind or tell him otherwise?

Sorry to hear about your friend... she's in a better place now...

"ARE YOU AFRAID OF DEATH? "

I used to be. But ever since I held my mum's hand as she died, I'm not so afraid anymore. It was certainly a traumatic decade after that, but I think I came out as quite a different person.

While I'm no longer afraid of death and can really get into the adrenaline-junkie activities like sky-diving, base-jumping, auto/motorcycle-racing, rock-climbing/rapelling (just need bull-fighting to round out Papa Hemingway's list of "real sports"), I'm actually not as wreckless as I used to be. I really cherise life and there's A LOT I want to get done before it's all over. No matter how long I'll live, it won't feel like enough.

Death is just a natural stage in life, it's the same as birth & life... a transition... nothing to be afraid of. In fact, whenever anyone dies, it's time for a PARTY in my book. Celebrate the memories of their life, the wonderful things they did and achieved.

I never feared death that I know of. I almost choked to death when I was 17. As I was gasping for air, my thoughts were of my family and friends, not me being afraid. I have no desire to die early, but its not something I believe I fear.

So sorry for your loss Siu. :(

Wise words from Jon.

Death waits for all of us...there is no reason to wait for it. :)
I am sorry for the loss of your coworker. :(
your friend.

My condolences Siu. :(

As for death. I have no fear of it at all. Actually, I'm more scared of becoming crippled than I am of death. Thing is, no matter how hard one tries, death will happen...so it's best to come to terms with that. Live life as a good and honorable person, so when the time comes, one can leave this world with no regrets.

For the suicidal, it's a matter of "what do they fear more"....death, or the source of their torment?

I'm not scared of death, but I don't want to go out either in pain or with my mental faculties gone. I've been in "imminent danger" on a couple of occasions. When I was young with no kids with Scuds coming my way daily, I defied it. Don the gear and watch the show, but there was a realistic possibility of getting killed. Fast forward a few years, when I fractured my spleen BMX racing, I was real close. It was a very different feeling, with me applying some willpower to want to stay alive rather than let the pain end. A morphine drip was doing very little, but I had a wife and kids. I didn't want to leave them. I still don't, but it's not a fear.

Death is just a natural stage in life, it's the same as birth & life... a transition... nothing to be afraid of. In fact, whenever anyone dies, it's time for a PARTY in my book. Celebrate the memories of their life, the wonderful things they did and achieved.

Well, just for kicks, let's look at the word "funeral" for a moment. Starts with the word "fun", doesn't it? And all I see out there are a bunch of sad faces. Well, the Grim Reaper's an ugly customer, I'll grant you that, but you know who's worse? It's Mr. Mope.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Siu. When someone you care about dies in such circumstances, you do tend to wonder if you could have made any difference. Hard to say. Was she really suicidal or was she abusing the prescription meds and made a mistake? You'll never know. I can totally relate, as that was how my father died. We do know he was vehmently opposed to suicide in that way that many Christians are. I suspect he made a fatal error when abusing the drugs, but I'll always wonder.

I'm not afraid to die per se. I think my belief in some sort of continuation after death helps. I just don't want to die in great pain and suffering.

As to whether or not to intervene when someone you know is suicidal, I'd say yes so long as it is not a carefully thought out decision based on having a terminal illness. To me, suicide to avoid a slow, painful death from a disease is very different from suicide as a response to emotional/mental issues.

Am I afraid of death?

Hells no. He all gets us sooner or later, I like to taunt the ****er and make him wait his turn to get a peice of me. I've been in many life and death situations, and I just havent given a damn.

Siu, condolences from me and Mrs Stormcrowe....

Some good thoughts in this thread. Remember St Francis' Serenity prayer. it's valid whether or not you believe.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change that which I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

When I was young(er) I used to think that when I 'got some' -that then I would be ready for the end, and death and all that -(should it come my way).. Now that I'm a little older and having 'got some', I still realise that it is not enough, and I would really like to get 'some more', A LOT more, before I go yelling and screaming 'into that good night'. So far I've had a beautiful Jewish girl -(my gf of six years), and women of my own ethnicity -(who were/are great! :beer:), but man I'd really like to find some nice Indian/south asian women -- and Persian and Lebanese girls are really hot too imo. If after that, I want to settle and find a good wife and have kids, -then I will probably still remain ''clingy'' to life.. If not, then I will probably be a pretty happy mo'f***er and be contented to just read books and travel and stuff and enjoy each and every day -as a bonus.


(&, my condolences for the loss of your friend, sb.)

Leave it to 'da House' :rolleyes:

I understand where you are coming from, Siu. I had a friend (albeit a relatively new friend) go the same way earlier this year. It was a girl in our "greyhound group". It got us all asking philosophical questions like this too.

That being said....I don't think I really fear death. It's something all must face one day. I think I look at it like Stacey said....I don't fear it per se, but would prefer to choose my own exit method if possible.

As to whether or not to intervene when someone you know is suicidal, I'd say yes so long as it is not a carefully thought out decision based on having a terminal illness. To me, suicide to avoid a slow, painful death from a disease is very different from suicide as a response to emotional/mental issues.

Sometimes, emotional/mental issues can lead to a very prolonged and painful life.

So sorry Siu :(

When I was in high school there was a friend who I tried to help. He was pretty depressed, got drunk all the time, angry at the world. One day I was on the phone with him in one of his drunken stupors and he says in an off hand way, "I wonder if this shot gun's loaded" I tried to get the conversation away from that in a hurry and then I heard two sharp clicks and he says, "Guess not." Screwed me up for a while knowing how close I came to hearing someone blow their head off. I cut him off after that because I realized how underprepared I was in dealing with that type of situation. Lost four other friends in high school over the course of the next two years - all hit by a train at different times. Two by accident, two by LSD and watching the lights of the train get closer.

I'm not afraid of dying - having been in three (not too major) plane crashes it's not such a bad way of going (yup, still fly!). Echo Stacey with the pain factor though. I'd rather go on my bike falling off the side of a mountain then get clpped by a car and bleed to death on the side of the road. And I can't stand the movement against helping terminally ill patients die respectively. After volunteering in a veteran's home I know I do not want to be kept alive for the sake of being kept alive - there are other resources people can spend their time on. Let me go while I can still appreciate life.

Wow, thank you everyone for your condolences. As of now, we still haven't gotten word of the true circumstances regarding her overdose.

She had always been the happy, bubbly type, laughing at how she can get one over on the boss by staying out on stress leave for she despised him so much. The last time she came by to extend her stress leave again, she made note with me that we should all go out together for a girls nite out of dinner and dancing. She was bragging how she was able to stay out on leave till after Christmas so she can enjoy her holiday.

She had a very strong personality, stood by what she believed in and didn't take crap. That is why this is so hard for us to believe (that she may have taken her own life).

Anyway, I'm rambling.

For me, I am not afraid of death, It's just the circumstances that will lead me there are what concerns me. The transition from life to death is something that I understand is supposed to be the most peaceful. When the body is "actively dying".

Thank you for all of your responses. There are a lot of different aspects here and honestly, this is helping me to accept her death.

Aww mannnnnnnnnnnnn!

Just found out she really did commit suicide. :mad: :( :cry:


I soooooooo wish that I was able to see this!!! I can't believe that she didn't talk to us!! Why didn't she see that we care for her so much?? Why did she think she was not important?? Why did she take a temporary problem and use such a permanent solution??

WHY COULDN'T WE SEE THIS????????????????????

OMG. I can't stop crying now.

Not trying to be a jerk. But, I'm happy for her, the pain is now over.

Hugs Siu :(

not afraid of death. a little bit afraid of what old age is gonna slip me.

Aww mannnnnnnnnnnnn!

Just found out she really did commit suicide. :mad: :( :cry:


I soooooooo wish that I was able to see this!!! I can't believe that she didn't talk to us!! Why didn't she see that we care for her so much?? Why did she think she was not important?? Why did she take a temporary problem and use such a permanent solution??

WHY COULDN'T WE SEE THIS????????????????????

OMG. I can't stop crying now.Sui,
Absolutely, positively do not think negatively of yourself or your other friends for not seeing this coming. I was at the edge of taking my life a few years ago and from my case I know two things happened, at least in my case. Maybe hers too.
1. At that point I was not thinking clearly. Before and after that point I knew/know that people cared about me and that I had/have a place in the world. But at that point you lose sight of all that. All your problems seem huge, uncontrollable and stifling.
2. I did a wonderful job of being my normal, happy, content, functioning self when anyone was around. Absolutelty no one had any idea. No one. I usually wear my emotions out on my sleeve so if I could keep being so depressed to myself others can do it too.

My condolences and prayers.

how would they know she comitted suicide instead of it being accidental unless she left a note or something....

Think about this one. Its incredibly obvious that there was a note. An overdose is an overdose regardless of if it was intentional, so its not like the coroner would have said "yep, it was a suicide"

One of the pluses of having Faith and a Belief in God is there is no fear of death. I know when my time comes I will be going to a better place. I look forward to the journey.

I do not look forward, however, to growing old and dealing with life as it happens... the illnesses, diseases, physical fraility that comes with living on and on and becoming old. I fear becoming incapacitated and having to live our my years alone or lonely in a hospital or rest home. The only thing that keeps me positive is my Faith and knowing someday I will have earn my reward in Heaven.

Aww mannnnnnnnnnnnn!

Just found out she really did commit suicide. :mad: :( :cry:


I soooooooo wish that I was able to see this!!! I can't believe that she didn't talk to us!! Why didn't she see that we care for her so much?? Why did she think she was not important?? Why did she take a temporary problem and use such a permanent solution??

WHY COULDN'T WE SEE THIS????????????????????

OMG. I can't stop crying now.

Siu... there nothing you can do for your friend now but grieve and move on. What you can do is give her life some meaning. Try and understand why she committed suicide and maybe get involved with a help line or drug counseling group, whatever, and use your grief to help someone else. At least something good comes from something bad.

3 years ago I lost my best friend (boyfriend) not to suicide but almost as bad. He was very sick, told no one and let his illness go without treatment. He had a heart attack and died. He was only 50. Since then, I've gotten involved with several groups that raise money and awareness for his illness (diabetes) and have helped folks who don't have the funds get the necessary treatment. I just don't want him to have died in vain. His life was just too precious for that.

Anyway take care, crying right now is a good thing!

One of the pluses of having Faith and a Belief in God is there is no fear of death. I know when my time comes I will be going to a better place. I look forward to the journey.

I do not look forward, however, to growing old and dealing with life as it happens... the illnesses, diseases, physical fraility that comes with living on and on and becoming old. I fear becoming incapacitated and having to live our my years alone or lonely in a hospital or rest home. The only thing that keeps me positive is my Faith and knowing someday I will have earn my reward in Heaven.


Worthy of mention is the fact that one is not exclusive to the other. ;)

:(

Hi everyone.

With a lot of PMs, yahoos, phone calls and love, I am doing OK now. Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart. But this isn't about me, it's about how she must have suffered.

As a few of you have said, she is not in pain anymore and that it was HER choice. HER life. Her life to choose what to do with. She was not a kid, she was a grown woman in her 50's. I know that we gave her the best love that we could. We were her friends. If she chose to keep her pain to herself, then that was what she must have felt was best for HER. The best thing I could do for her now is honour her. Even if I don't like the decision she made, it was HER decision. And I choose to honour her. To honour ROSA.

LOVE YOU, ROSA :( :love:

Hi everyone. With a lot of PM, yahoos, phone calls and love, I am doing OK now. Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart. But this isn't about me, it's about how she must have suffered.

As a few of you have said, she is not in pain anymore and that it was HER choice. HER life. Her life to choose what to do with. She was not a kid, she was a grown woman in her 50's. I know that we gave her the best love that we could. We were her friends. If she chose to keep her pain to herself, then that was what she must have felt was best for HER. The best thing I could do for her now is honour her. Even if I don't like the decision she made, it was HER decision. And I choose to honour HER.

LOVE YOU, ROSA :( :love:
Good to see some acceptance! You're a tough gal, Siu! (I meant that the good way!) MY condolences again, as well as Mrs Stormcrowes!

Tom

A funny thing has happened to me a few times since I've been riding (7 years)... I've been scared out of my wits that I was going to die in an accident on the bike. I'm talking near panic attack.

The strange part is, those times only occur when I'm lying in bed, and never do I have even a hint of fear when I'm actually riding (healthy awareness of course).

Omen? Oh well.. I ain't quitting.

A funny thing has happened to me a few times since I've been riding (7 years)... I've been scared out of my wits that I was going to die in an accident on the bike. I'm talking near panic attack.

The strange part is, those times only occur when I'm lying in bed, and never do I have even a hint of fear when I'm actually riding (healthy awareness of course).

Omen? Oh well.. I ain't quitting.
Bikepacker, only the good die young! You and I are destined to die at 189 years of age, being chased by a jealous boyfriend of a 19 year old co-ed! I have this on good authority.....a Gypsy Palm reader!http://www.fotosearch.com/thumb/csk/CSK243/KS15863.jpg

destined to die at 189 years of age, being chased by a jealous boyfriend of a 19 year old co-ed!

By then I'll be riding a 'bent, so maybe what I will have lost in strength, I could make up for in aerodynamics?

By then I'll be riding a 'bent, so maybe what I will have lost in strength, I could make up for in aerodynamics?
I dunno, I suppose anything's possible!http://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/party/humba.gif

Good to see some acceptance! You're a tough gal, Siu! (I meant that the good way!) MY condolences again, as well as Mrs Stormcrowes!

Tom


Thank you Daddy and Mom! ((hugs))

Siu

Sorry to hear about your friend. Glad you shared it with us though, I hope it helps to talk about it. Some times we need to be reminded that lifeis a sexualy transmitted terminal condition.

Joe

http://www.thedashmovie.com/

Awe... :cry:

Thank you Daddy and Mom! ((hugs))
You are welcome, Daughter!