I beat up a cager today.

[banerjek]

3rd most readable and useful post in A&S, ever
:beer:
Not much of a distinction though. Kind of like being the 3rd best burger flipper at your place of employment.....

[VegaVixen]

It was a beautiful day today, the bright sun blazing in a clear blue sky, the winter temperature crisp and cool. While I was riding out in the country, a very sweet-looking elderly cager lady pulled up to me while I was cleaning out my sinuses on the pavement.

She stopped her car and rolled down her window. "Dear, could you use a Kleenex?", she beckoned.

Beyotch! Doesn't like my snot rockets, does she? I pulled out my Mace and hosed her down.

Damn cager.

Anyone think I might have been a bit too harsh?

Oh, someone help me! I'm coughing up a rib! :roflmao:

[redden]

following the series of events as u told them u peed on him and then took his money, Damn rookie, take money then pee. Got that!

[cudak888]

Ya think?

Think? Think? Hell, the OP threw every mockable gag into the post in the first place. The idea of considering wrong way cycling as being "VC" is sheer comic genius - pass the booze and give the OP an acadamy award for that one. :beer:

Oh, and no cager will sit still long enough - even if beat with a frame pump - to let you to whip out your 'seatpost' to diss on him. :p

-Kurt

<satire>

P.S.: Incedentally, I ran across that asshat Pizza Hut driver - who buzzed me a few months ago (at a stopsign!) - yesterday. Shoved a Deep Dish in his face. "Pizza Hut...Go For The Good Stuff" :roflmao:

</satire>

[sgtsmile]

well, i figured when i said cager it implied what you said. Duh, people. :rolleyes:

on this forum, when you say cager it means you are a serious and respected citizen meant to be taken literally and as a speaker of the gospel according to bike.

[sgtsmile]

I have a modest proposal, lets just eat all the cagers, that will solve the problem.


LMFAO!!!!!!! gogo!

[JoMo]

It was a beautiful day today, the bright sun blazing in a clear blue sky, the winter temperature crisp and cool. While I was riding out in the country, a very sweet-looking elderly cager lady pulled up to me while I was cleaning out my sinuses on the pavement.

She stopped her car and rolled down her window. "Dear, could you use a Kleenex?", she beckoned.

Beyotch! Doesn't like my snot rockets, does she? I pulled out my Mace and hosed her down.

Damn cager.

Anyone think I might have been a bit too harsh?
THANKS!!! Now I have to go change my pants,:roflmao:

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Not much of a distinction though. Kind of like being the 3rd best burger flipper at your place of employment.....
Or the best white female blues or soul singer of the 60's (or any other decade.)

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Think? Think? Hell, the OP threw every mockable gag into the post in the first place.
Really? Gee thanks for the clarification. I had no idea!:rolleyes:

[bkaapcke]

How many felonies do we have here? Of course, this is why I don't ride on streets. To keep myself from committing similar felonies. bk

[I-Like-To-Bike]

How many felonies do we have here? Of course, this is why I don't ride on streets. To keep myself from committing similar felonies. bk
What felonies would they be? Beating up on low life cyclists too cheap (in your opinion,) to buy your kinda bike at your kinda LBS?

[sgtsmile]

What felonies would they be? Beating up on low life cyclists too cheap (in your opinion,) to buy your kinda bike at your kinda LBS?

WoW! I have not seen a "lets read our own personal adjenda into what someone says" post that blatant in a long time! woohoo! Ride on man.

[I-Like-To-Bike]

WoW! I have not seen a "lets read our own personal adjenda into what someone says" post that blatant in a long time! woohoo! Ride on man.
Whatcha think this thread is about?:rolleyes: I take it that you haven't read (don't remember) any of the self restrained potential "felon's" commentary on cheapskate cyclists. He 's posted gratuitously on this "agenda" numerous times on numerous BF lists.

[San Rensho]

LMFAO!!!!!!! gogo!

I'm glad somebaody got my reference to Jonathan Swift!

[Denny Koll]

I think the OP handled the situation properly.

If we are confronted with bad driving behavior...as cyclists it is our responsibilty to "teach" . If you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem. So many cyclists say..."Oh just let it go"..thinking the next guy will deal with it. But the guy you let get away with it is the guy who causes a problem for the next bicyclist coming down the road.

So what steps did the OP take that we can all follow?

Call the cager a f'in moron

Busted him in the head with a frame pump

Peed on him

took all his money

My only issue with him is that it's better to take the money before you pee on him.

[jwbnyc]

Now that was funny.

[chipcom]

My only issue with him is that it's better to take the money before you pee on him.

Wussie bleeding heart liberal - it all spends the same once you dry it out. :D

[UmneyDurak]

Wussie bleeding heart liberal - it all spends the same once you dry it out. :D
Yeah but smell still remains.

[HigherGround]

The critical question is whether or not you were wearing your helmet during the incident. I'd hate for you to slip on that puddle o' pee and smack the noggin on the pavement (no that's not a euphemism). Did you signal before giving him the smackdown, as they do in pro wrasslin'?

[TheKillerPenguin]

Well duh, I always wear a motorcycle helmet when I ride.

As for signaling, before I walked over to him I looked both ways, indicated I was turning left to get to him by putting my elbow at a 90* angle, and whacked him with the frame pump until he fell. Even though I wasn't crossing the whole road, IMO, its better to be safe than sorry. This is also why I always make sure I ride vehicularly against traffic.

I also put on cleat covers and laid down a rubber mat before I peed on him, so I wouldn't slip.

['nother]

Well duh, I always wear a motorcycle helmet when I ride.

As for signaling, before I walked over to him I looked both ways, indicated I was turning left to get to him by putting my elbow at a 90* angle, and whacked him with the frame pump until he fell. Even though I wasn't crossing the whole road, IMO, its better to be safe than sorry. This is also why I always make sure I ride vehicularly against traffic.

I also put on cleat covers and laid down a rubber mat before I peed on him, so I wouldn't slip.

Ahh, but did you check your mirror for anyone behind you? (note: I'm just assuming you have a mirror). You didn't mention it, therefore we have to assume that you did it wrong.

Also you did not mention whether there were any pictures of his wife/GF, and if so, whether she was hot. TOTAL breach of forum etiquette, IMHO. Bad, bad, Penguin.

[Blue Order]

Ahh, but did you check your mirror for anyone behind you? (note: I'm just assuming you have a mirror). You didn't mention it, therefore we have to assume that you did it wrong.Dude, why would he need a mirror if he's riding VC, against traffic? What's behind him is not important...

[HigherGround]

Well duh, I always wear a motorcycle helmet when I ride.

Same here, plus a condom. You can never be too safe.

['nother]

Same here, plus a condom. You can never be too safe.

Oooh! Thanks for the, uh...tip! It's true, you can never be too safe (viz. mirrors as discussed).

[chipcom]

http://altura.speedera.net/ccimg.catalogcity.com/210000/214800/214881/Products/8333982.jpg

[sgtsmile]

Whatcha think this thread is about?:rolleyes: I take it that you haven't read (don't remember) any of the self restrained potential "felon's" commentary on cheapskate cyclists. He 's posted gratuitously on this "agenda" numerous times on numerous BF lists.

Nope:) forgot or did not read them:)

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Nope:) forgot or did not read them:)
Well don't forget to put the appropriate protection on the appropriate head. Safety first, eh?:)

[sgtsmile]

Well don't forget to put the appropriate protection on the appropriate head. Safety first, eh?:)

hehe

[Bekologist]

the killer penguin's got NOTHING on R600 Dura Ace. this kid's a mere hack.

[sgtsmile]

the killer penguin's got NOTHING on R600 Dura Ace. this kid's a mere hack.

Perhaps, but we must nurture his spirit of satire. :rolleyes:

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Perhaps, but we must nurture his spirit of satire. :rolleyes:
Yeah, but enuff with the second rate satire; when is the King Caricature of a Vehicular Cycling Wack-a-Doodle going to return to A&S to provide some more unintentional humor and cheer in this Holiday Season?

[Bekologist]

Here's how I'd take care of the situation, kid.

"Once the driver takes the time to educate with the window down, escalate the situation with sugggestions on what they can stick in their tailpipe. ***. A frame pump is best used before the vehicle even stops. Don't wait to use it on the driver. Firmly inserted in the front wheel, a'la the Cinzano team in 1979, a Silca or Zefal (not the Blackburns) can cause sudden handling issues, even in a robust sports utility vehicle.

A deft pump placement may fake the driver into stopping on the roadway up ahead to return it to you. As soon as they get out of their cars, premptively hose them down with a police-approved pepper spray that's the size of a can of Red Bull. Unless they're cute. Ask them out for lunch."



***a potato, people! get your minds out of the GUTTER...





Boy, A&S is getting a bit jaded. Mabye we all need a little lane positioning controversy and tractor comparisions to make this forum sizzling again.

[Juha]

So what steps did the OP take that we can all follow?

Call the cager a f'in moron

Busted him in the head with a frame pump

Peed on him

took all his money

My only issue with him is that it's better to take the money before you pee on him.

Also, he does not tell us how many watts he peed. Wattage is important!

--J

[I-Like-To-Bike]

Also, he does not tell us how many watts he peed. Wattage is important!

Talk is cheap; where are the pictures?

[LittleBigMan]

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives! :beer:
You do realize that you just confessed to a crime on the internet, and that anyone can google your confession.

[GGDub]

Same here, plus a condom. You can never be too safe.

I don't think the condom is ANSI/SNELL certified by itself. You need to be wearing Depends for it to be up to standard. Anything less than a motorcycle helmet, condom and Depends combination is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. Of course, peeing on the cager after you opened up a can of whoop-ass will take a few extra seconds while you remove the 'dome and the diapers, but its worth it, not having to worry about soiling yourself during your commute.

[Denny Koll]

You do realize that you just confessed to a crime on the internet, and that anyone can google your confession.
Good point...some editing should be done to avoid any liability...

So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I accidentally pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face in self defense until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him hoping to revive him. I also took all the money out of his wallet by mistake. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives so that someone doesn't mistakenly hurt him and take his money and then pee on him to try and wake him up

[TheKillerPenguin]

:roflmao:

[geraldatwork]

Looks like he is rolling on the floor laughing at us.

[redden]

I hope next time u take more mature and appropriate action. Please remember that u represent all cyclists worldwide and we have to deal with the Repercussions of ur actions. Next time sh*t on the cager!

[BroMax]

You guys are in the big league! The best I've done so far is to spit on a fender (I was aiming for a window).

[jwbnyc]

Don't piss him off. Really.

Looks like he is rolling on the floor laughing at us.

[2manybikes]

:roflmao:


Aparently some people think you really did this ! :eek:


:roflmao:

[sgtsmile]

Aparently some people think you really did this ! :eek:


:roflmao:

which IS the truly funny bit, unless, no WAIT!!! DoUbLE BliND!!! The satired strike back!

[jwbnyc]

;)

[2manybikes]

which IS the truly funny bit, unless, no WAIT!!! DoUbLE BliND!!! The satired strike back!


:beer: You're good ! :)

[LittleBigMan]

I just wasted two minutes of my life.

[Denny Koll]

I just wasted two minutes of my life.

I believe you're looking for the forum cliche thread?

[LittleBigMan]

I believe you're looking for the forum cliche thread?
:D ...I seem to have stumbled into Romper Room.

[jimmuter]

which IS the truly funny bit, unless, no WAIT!!! DoUbLE BliND!!! The satired strike back!

So are you saying that the people that are posting serious replies to the OP are actually attempting satire as well for our entertainment? This is freaking me out! :eek: