Advocacy & Safety - I beat up a cager today.

So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic :rolleyes: so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride :rolleyes:

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives! :beer:

That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives!

I see no reason to bring up someone's personal hygine practices. Whether a person chooses to bathe or not is their business.

You were riding against traffic?

Oh, man. You're in the **** now...

So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic :rolleyes: so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride :rolleyes:

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives! :beer:

Excellent. Now you've posted something admissable in court if you're ever involved in an accident where the other party's attorney needs to find something incriminating about your state of mind at the time of the accident or assault/battery.

Ask R600DuraAce for a few pointers and try again

Ok this has got to be satire. Nice.

Of course the driver was an insensitive boob and got what he deserved. I hope he was unconscious when you peed on him because some people like to get peed on. You didn't damage your tire pump I hope.

PS Unkchunk is right about the "dirty" remark. It was out of place, even if it was made during a time of stress, just like Mel Gibson and that other guy.

Excellent. Now you've posted something admissable in court if you're ever involved in an accident where the other party's attorney needs to find something incriminating about your state of mind at the time of the accident or assault/battery.
yeah yeah yeah, whatever. The cager was clearly in the wrong.

Isn't anybody going to ask me how much money I scored off the guy?

Ask R600DuraAce for a few pointers and try again



Oh, I don't know... he got a couple - that's not SO bad.

Hey, it's Penguin Troll...
http://z.about.com/d/collectdolls/1/0/M/X/trolls06b.jpg
how ya been?

Ask R600DuraAce for a few pointers and try again

I bet that evil tub o'lard "cager" was coming from Walmart and going to McDonald's for super sized deep fried cholesterol burger, while calling into Radio Rush L. on a cell phone and was driving a big butt SUV. Just like all the other evil "cagers". Thank goodness a Real Cyclist was around to dispense a mild version of street justice. But you shoulda been carrying some duct tape, bungee cords, and matches so he could have been strung up, dangled and burned like all the other cager vermin, eh?:)

Ok this has got to be satire. Nice.
Ya think?

I bet that evil tub o'lard "cager" was coming from Walmart and going to McDonald's for super sized deep fried cholesterol burger, while calling into Radio Rush L. on a cell phone and was driving a big butt SUV. Just like all the other evil "cagers". Thank goodness a Real Cyclist was around to dispense a mild version of street justice. But you shoulda been carrying some duct tape, bungee cords, and matches so he could have been strung up, dangled and burned like all the other cager vermin, eh?:)
well, i figured when i said cager it implied what you said. Duh, people. :rolleyes:

well, i figured when i said cager it implied what you said. Duh, people. :rolleyes:
Yeah, you seen one "cager" you seen 'em all. No good MF'ers should all be...; eh?:)

So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic :rolleyes: so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride :rolleyes:

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives! :beer:

The law most places states you ride with traffic, not against traffic, as you state above, I even underlined it for you. The driver was right, you are going to get yourself killed, and for telling you so, you beat and defiled him, he was right you are a moron, and an idiot as well.

i think the trolling penguins' first sentence gives it all away.

Go play in traffic, little man.

I'm hoping you got his address from his wallet and are now subtly playing mind games with his entire family. If not this whole thing just sounds like the beginning of a bad Clive Owen movie.

Um, Wogsterca...it really was a joke post, man. Back away from the keyboard, shake it out, deep breaths.

:D

The law most places states you ride with traffic, not against traffic, as you state above, I even underlined it for you. The driver was right, you are going to get yourself killed, and for telling you so, you beat and defiled him, he was right you are a moron, and an idiot as well.
Law? Law? We don't need no stinkin' law! Open season on all "cagers" at all times; yeah! That's why God invented the U-Lock and bike pump.

Something like that happened to me last year, only I was blowing through a stop sign. When the filthy cager skidded abruptly. The skid was so loud that I could hear it through my custom molded, silicone-ear-canal head phones! Then the guy had the audacity to call me a sub-idiot and said, something like, "..almost evolution in process", then he got out of his car. That was his mistake. While he turned to tell off his wife who just told him, "Henry don't make a fuss", I seized the opportunity to whack at the old guy’s head with my pump. His head was so hard that the pump shattered into several pieces! I guess that I should have filed a police report for the damage to my pump. I tell you what--hey don't make pumps like they used to. Next time I'll have a better pump.

I have a modest proposal, lets just eat all the cagers, that will solve the problem.

The law most places states you ride with traffic, not against traffic, as you state above, I even underlined it for you. The driver was right, you are going to get yourself killed, and for telling you so, you beat and defiled him, he was right you are a moron, and an idiot as well.

And here I thought I had a problem understanding what is satire & what isn't. Note I emphasized the word satire. :rolleyes:

This thread is useless with out pics.

This thread is useless with out pics.

http://www.pim.be/pimgif/avatars/troll_riding_bike.gif

There is only one thing to do when da killer penguin comes a trollin...

http://www.shanghaiist.com/attachments/shang_neil/bat-signal-edit.jpg

Excellent! :roflmao:

Hi Penguin, welcome back. It must have been, what?, at least three weeks since your last riding against traffic thread.:)

3rd most readable and useful post in A&S, ever
:beer:

Meh. I beat up cagers everyday... except when I'm driving, then I beat up cyclists. Go eat another puppy.

sorry for any expected repeats, but:

Why are you riding opposite of traffic flow and call this V/C?

i will not go on untill reading more of your post and replies. my initial concern is any rant that is contra-indicated to the law. were you riding with, or against traffic flow?

thx for the clarity!

You were riding in the wrong direction. The driver was correct and you beat up (if you really did)someone for no reason. Sounds pretty wrong to me but again I guess there are different standards for right and wrong these days.

I was riding against traffic, and that is most certainly the right way to ride.

Besides, the guy was a cager. A CAGER. He had it comin!

and still nobody asks how much money I scored?



A measly $5. Cheap cager in his $200,000 SUV. no wonder he shops at walmart.

TKP, you are too funny. I sure needed a good laugh today. Thanks! :lol:

Something like that happened to me last year, only I was blowing through a stop sign. When the filthy cager skidded abruptly. The skid was so loud that I could hear it through my custom molded, silicone-ear-canal head phones! Then the guy had the audacity to call me a sub-idiot and said, something like, "..almost evolution in process", then he got out of his car. That was his mistake. While he turned to tell off his wife who just told him, "Henry don't make a fuss", I seized the opportunity to whack at the old guy’s head with my pump. His head was so hard that the pump shattered into several pieces! I guess that I should have filed a police report for the damage to my pump. I tell you what--hey don't make pumps like they used to. Next time I'll have a better pump.
How was his wife? Any video or pictures? Now that she has had a Real Man maybe you can get her to give you some money for some more Cycling Love.

Cheap cager in his $200,000 SUV. no wonder he shops at walmart.
That's why he can afford the $200,000 car; plus he sells 25¢ pieces of Styrofoam for $100 at his place of business.

How was his wife? Any pictures?

You know when the wife says, "Henry don't make a fuss", she is some old blue hair. But they can be good in bed too, I should know, I've had a few! :D ;)

I was riding against traffic, and that is most certainly the right way to ride.

Besides, the guy was a cager. A CAGER. He had it comin!


What's a cager? I often hear this term used disparangingly. What does it mean?

I bet that evil tub o'lard "cager" was coming from Walmart and going to McDonald's for super sized deep fried cholesterol burger, while calling into Radio Rush L. on a cell phone and was driving a big butt SUV. Just like all the other evil "cagers".

All cagers are like that.

How is it that I remember this SAME post from like four months ago?!?

So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic :rolleyes: so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride :rolleyes:

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives! :beer:

I've noticed that you start a thread along these lines approx. once a quarter. Do you have an Outlook reminder set up for this?

I've noticed that you start a thread along these lines approx. once a quarter. Do you have an Outlook reminder set up for this?

Or maybe he realized that bikeforums had a bad day, lost the original thread and he missed it, and us, so much that he just HAD to repost.

I backed into this guy with my Hummer today, I almost got him but he ran away. I'll get him tomorrow if he comes back for his bike.


http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/8799/crunchedbikesh0.png

A Cager? Why'd you go after Alex Cager? He's my best drinking bud.

So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic :rolleyes: so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride :rolleyes:

This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives! :beer::roflmao:

Satire, people, satire.

There is only one thing to do when da killer penguin comes a trollin...

http://www.shanghaiist.com/attachments/shang_neil/bat-signal-edit.jpg

Only kids, old ladies, and beginners ride against traffic. When I see riders going against traffic they are usually going 5 ot 6 miles per hour because that is the best they can do.

Only kids, old ladies, and beginners ride against traffic. When I see riders going against traffic they are usually going 5 ot 6 miles per hour because that is the best they can do.

and crotchety old guys. This one fella actually yelled "Up yours!" at me when I rode by him as he was riding against traffic. Guy looked to be in his mid to late 60s

and crotchety old guys. This one fella actually yelled "Up yours!" at me when I rode by him as he was riding against traffic. Guy looked to be in his mid to late 60s

This guy?

http://www.irancartoon.com/100/kruger/Keith-Richards.jpg

This guy?

No... Keith Richards doesn't live in Madison WI. And the old guy in question wasn't that... well preserved.

It was a beautiful day today, the bright sun blazing in a clear blue sky, the winter temperature crisp and cool. While I was riding out in the country, a very sweet-looking elderly cager lady pulled up to me while I was cleaning out my sinuses on the pavement.

She stopped her car and rolled down her window. "Dear, could you use a Kleenex?", she beckoned.

Beyotch! Doesn't like my snot rockets, does she? I pulled out my Mace and hosed her down.

Damn cager.

Anyone think I might have been a bit too harsh?