Foo - Well that was LAME!!

What stupid reasons or excuses have you used - or have been used on YOU to get out of a date? :D

So I guess that means you stood him up this morning, eh? :rolleyes:

I need an excuse. You read right through me. :o

He's nice and all but I really just don't feel like going. I have no reason to feel this way. I just want to stay home. I would have called him to let him know but since I don't really call guys (way I was brought up) I didn't get his number. He is going to call within the hour.

Tell him your probation officer had to reschedule your home vist.

just say you don't feel well.

I guess I could. There were no promises made. He was supposed to call to see if I'm up to it.

What date do you have?

My cold sore is acting up again.

Could say your boyfriend didn't leave until 10:00. :D

Seriously though. You could tell him you feel uncomfortable fraternizing with someone from work. Tell him you felt kind of awkward about it when he asked, and that your conscience got the better of you as you thought about it more.

btw - nice Avatar.

Biggest piece of advice...and I'll speak for all men out there.

Be blunt and straight. Tell him you're not interested and don't want to go.

If you use other excuses, don't feel well, watching reruns of Gilligans Island, waxing your bike, whatever he'll keep calling because he hears "Oh, she can't do it now but that means she'll want to go out later."

What date do you have?


A manager from another dept wants to go riding after breakfast. I said maybe. I'm really not ready for this.


Good advice Zorro. It's true too.


Air - So the guy won't get mad if I'm straight with him? Don't want any feelings hurt.

Biggest piece of advice...and I'll speak for all men out there.

Be blunt and straight. Tell him you're not interested and don't want to go.

If you use other excuses, don't feel well, watching reruns of Gilligans Island, waxing your bike, whatever he'll keep calling because he hears "Oh, she can't do it now but that means she'll want to go out later."

YEP!!!!!

Call him late this afternoon and tell him you have to work late this evening. Then make it true by working late this evening.

Had a date for my junior prom in HS. He was supposed to call the morning of the prom to make arrangements to pick me up. When I hadn't heard anything by early afternoon, I called his house. His brother said he'd gone to the World's Fair in Knoxville, and wouldn't be back 'til the next day. :eek: WTF?!

Undaunted, I called one of my best friends who ran track with me. She was also dateless, so we went "stag" together. Had a helluva great time, probably better than I would have had had my date not stood me up, as I got to dance quite a bit with one of the guys in the band during their breaks. :)

And, yes, you can be sure that Vega had a, uh, "discussion" *coughcough* with Mr. No-Show on the following Monday at school. :D

So, Siu, just leave a message on your machine saying that you've gone to the World's Fair, whevever it is this year! :lol:

Diarrhea.

A manager from another dept wants to go riding after breakfast. I said maybe. I'm really not ready for this.


Good advice Zorro. It's true too.


Air - So the guy won't get mad if I'm straight with him? Don't want any feelings hurt.
Knowing you, and knowing me. I wouldn't go and be rude and be blunt. The best way for the guy not to have hard feelings against you is just to tell him you aren't feeling right. You feel sick, or your back hurts and riding isn't a possibility right now.

I understand people are going to tell you to be blunt, and tell the guy you aren't interested. But in your shoes that's alot of pressure, and the guy will then have hard feelings towards you.

I am not ready yet for this is a good response. It says there is nothing wrong with him but you really aren't interested at this time.

You could also say that you came down with the Plubonic Plaque, but that does seem a little severe...

Call him late this afternoon and tell him you have to work late this evening. Then make it true by working late this evening.

1. I don't have his number.
2. He works at my place.
3. He is a manager he knows my schedule
4. I think he would find out if I worked or not.
5. Don't really want to lie.

Does he think this is a date?

See how long you can lead him on untill he stops calling. We'll start a pool on how long.
I say 10 days.

Seriously, I agree with Zorro and Air. I've had the experience of trying to spare a nice guy's ego and feelings by making up an excuse. Only took him asking me a few more times before I realized I needed to just be honest and let him know that I really just wasn't interested in him that way. I mean, it's awkward if it's a good friend, but you barely know this guy. Just be honest with him, but in a tactful way.

Does he think this is a date?


He said he would call on Tuesday and maybe we could go eat breakfast and ride. I said "uh, okay. Maybe. We'll see."

Would that be considered a date? I don't know!

Yep. If you don't want to lie, the only way is to let him know your not interested. You just need to think of how to do it in a nice way. Say you're not ready yet to have social contact with men, and that you need time, that you don't feel comfortable.

No, the guy won't have hard feelings towards you. What you'll do is free his mind.

An extreme case. He's been watching you. Thinking about you. You've been the eye of his desire. Everytime you walk by his heart flutters with the smell of your shampoo. Everytime he talks to you he gets those stars around him like in Wayne's World with "Dreamweaver" playing in the background. Hell - to him you're Casandra! You tell him you're not feeling well. That aura is still there, "OK, how about next week?" An appointment. "The following?" Gotta wax my car. "There's this band playing Saturday?" You get the idea.

So, follow me up till when you talk to him, and you tell him you're very sorry but you're not interested. The bubble bursts and he's now free. He probably won't run around and bother you anymore but will respect you for shooting straight instead of "leading him on" for weeks while you find a polite way to shake him off you. He's free for the next possibilty to cross his path.

He said he would call on Tuesday and maybe we could go eat breakfast and ride. I said "uh, okay. Maybe. We'll see."

Would that be considered a date? I don't know!
If I ask a girl to breakfest and a ride, and she say's "maybe", in my mind that means sex later! YEA!
That's how guys think.

Would that be considered a date? I don't know!
It depends on the person. Just tell him you're not up to it today. That would be the truth. Then find out for sure if he means to date you or just hang out and be a riding buddy. Proceed from there.

I am not ready yet for this is a good response. It says there is nothing wrong with him but you really aren't interested at this time.


But that leaves him with the impression that she will be ready at some point, and he'll keep asking her periodically, putting her in an awkward position over and over.

Jon, I see your point, but we can't be responsible for everyone's feelings. One guy might appreciate the honesty, even if he's hurt. Another may be pissed off. So what? Honesty is what's needed here, and if the guy is pissed off about it, then Siu really didn't need to be involved with him anyway, right? He'll get over it.

Honesty hurts sometimes but one can get over that pain, because it's rooted in respect for one's right to know the truth. Living a lie, or being deceived, is a wound that never heals.

No, the guy won't have hard feelings towards you. What you'll do is free his mind.

An extreme case. He's been watching you. Thinking about you. You've been the eye of his desire. Everytime you walk by his heart flutters with the smell of your shampoo. Everytime he talks to you he gets those stars around him like in Wayne's World with "Dreamweaver" playing in the background. Hell - to him you're Casandra! You tell him you're not feeling well. That aura is still there, "OK, how about next week?" An appointment. "The following?" Gotta wax my car. "There's this band playing Saturday?" You get the idea.

So, follow me up till when you talk to him, and you tell him you're very sorry but you're not interested. The bubble bursts and he's now free. He probably won't run around and bother you anymore but will respect you for shooting straight instead of "leading him on" for weeks while you find a polite way to shake him off you. He's free for the next possibilty to cross his path.
+1

If I ask a girl to breakfest and a ride, and she say's "maybe", in my mind that means sex later! YEA!
That's how guys think.
Personally, while blunt I think efro's on to something. All guys think they are going to eventually get more, whether you just go to the movies with them, or eat out to dinner.

While air has a good point, I have to respectfully disagree. If the guy is feelin' you, straight rejection will not go over well. He won't just forget about it. He'll probably keep pushing, and harbor hard feelings towards you. Of course that's just my opinion.

Of course, I do think you should tell him your not interested. As I said before, you just need to think of a nice way to do it. That's all. Try to be as nice as possible.

A slight edit - this to me sounds like the beginnings of a date.

You could tell him that you're not interested in dating him (maybe jumping the gun but again, guys will appreciate that) but if you (Siu) is looking for a riding partner then you could offer a friends only ride. Say friends a few times. Emphasize the no dating him.

Just make it simple. Be honest. If he gets mad then at least you know you wouldn't want to date him!!

Air & Zorro's got the right idea, just be upfront with it. No sugar-coating, no rationlizing. "This is how I feel", that's it. I actually don't like excuses either, because that's something you use afterwards to gloss over it. I just say, "I'm not interested, thanks." Guys are used to it, so it's not that big a deal.

Personally, while blunt I think efro's on to something. All guys think they are going to eventually get more, whether you just go to the movies with them, or eat out to dinner.

Yup


While air has a good point, I have to respectfully disagree. If the guy is feelin' you, straight rejection will not go over well. He won't just forget about it. He'll probably keep pushing, and harbor hard feelings towards you. Of course that's just my opinion.

But do you think by creating weak excuses that leaves the door open he would push less hard? I'd think he'd take that as an opportunity to prove his bullness and charge!

By the way, my viewpoint comes from years of rejection experience! :D

A slight edit - this to me sounds like the beginnings of a date.

You could tell him that you're not interested in dating him (maybe jumping the gun but again, guys will appreciate that) but if you (Siu) is looking for a riding partner then you could offer a friends only ride. Say friends a few times. Emphasize the no dating him.
This occurred to me, too. Only danger is that he could really be into her, yet, in order to go out with her at all, agree that it's not a date, and then try to get himself set up to ride with her, "just as friends," on a more regular basis, hoping that she'll eventually come around and feel the same way. In principle, I agree with Air, but in practice, you have to be careful using this tactic.

According to my read, there is nothing to indicate that the guy would not be interesting at some point (nice guy and all), so saying not now isn't a problem.

Unless you don't mean not now, but mean, not ever.

A I just say, "I'm not interested, thanks." Guys are used to it, so it's not that big a deal.


I've given up on this site, it thinks I'm a chic.... or David Hasselhoff ... grrr...

Ahhh, it all makes sense now... ;)

In principle, I agree with Air, but in practice, you have to be careful using this tactic.

Yeah, you'd have to read him when you tell him you have no interest in him. If you do try the riding offer (again, only if you (Siu) have a genuine interest in a ride partner) read his face when you tell him you have no interest. If he twitches or blinks forget about it.

The most powerful word you will ever learn is NO.

Let him do the asking. You don't need an excuse. I can understand your anxiety, but remember...no one knows what is going on in your head but you. Breath deeply, and practice flexing your "no" muscle.

Pheared, some guys might react childishly to honesty, but most guys would appreciate not having to waste time on someone who just isn't interested. Some guys might see it as a challenge and work hard to earn the affection of a girl who has shown that she isn't interested and there is nothing wrong with this unless the guy is creepy and overbearing. If that's the case, she will just be speeding up the inevitable. Very few guys, the insecure types, will get butthurt over it. If he's one of these guys, he is going to be bitter no matter what she does, and again, she'll just speed up the inevitable by being honest. Luckily most guys will be cool with just being friends, and this is the best and most likely outcome.

If she leads him on for weeks, no matter what kind of guy he is it will not end well. If he's a decent guy he'll be annoyed that she lead him on. If he's a creep he'll stalk her and keep being, well, creepy. If he's a insecure type he'll be all angry and butthurt. See? It's a no win situation if she leads him on.

he'd gone to the World's Fair in Knoxville,

Wish I'd have known. I would have smacked him for you.

Wish I'd have known. I would have smacked him for you.
Yeah, thanks, cydisc. I took care of that myself. ;)

Siu is too sensitive of other's feelings to be honest about it I bet.

Obvious observation for you regular foosters probably.

I'd recommend just being honest. If nothing else it shows respect. I've had girls make up obvious excuses - the fact they're lying to me shows they don't respect me on a basic level and aren't worth my time. They then lose MY respect - which if he's a manager at your work could be problematic. Actually that in and of itself is a very touchy issue for you.

Good luck Siu. :)

Am I the only one that noticed she's...um...away from her desk right now?;)

Thanks Ravenmore. He is a manager at my location, but not MY manager.

Anyway, it's an hour past the time he was to call and guess what? My cell phone was off. :o I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I usually keep it on all the time but I shut it off last nite because I was charging it.

I guess I'll tell him the next time I see him. He called but left no message.

Thanks for the tips everyone.

Knowing you, and knowing me. I wouldn't go and be rude and be blunt. The best way for the guy not to have hard feelings against you is just to tell him you aren't feeling right. You feel sick, or your back hurts and riding isn't a possibility right now.

I understand people are going to tell you to be blunt, and tell the guy you aren't interested. But in your shoes that's alot of pressure, and the guy will then have hard feelings towards you.

I'm not trying to be rude or anything like that but when you get older you will think differently about this. When I was younger it would have killed my ego to be told that someone didn't want to go out with me point blank. I would rather them lie to me and make up an excuse. Now that I'm older I want to be told exactly what the person feels. If they don't think I am right for them then so be it. Nothing wrong with that at all. I wouldn't hold a grudge and I wouldn't think poorly of them. If anything I would respect them for being honest and not giving me false hope.

Anyway, it's an hour past the time he was to call and guess what? My cell phone was off. :o I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I usually keep it on all the time but I shut it off last nite because I was charging it.

I guess I'll tell him the next time I see him. He called but left no message.

Thanks for the tips everyone.

I thought you just bit your lip, and took off. I never thought to tell you "turn off your phone".


Brilliant.

Thanks Ravenmore. He is a manager at my location, but not MY manager.

Anyway, it's an hour past the time he was to call and guess what? My cell phone was off. :o I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I usually keep it on all the time but I shut it off last nite because I was charging it.

I guess I'll tell him the next time I see him. He called but left no message.

Thanks for the tips everyone.
Yea... accidently had the cell off.

Good one sista. ;)

Thanks Ravenmore. He is a manager at my location, but not MY manager.

Anyway, it's an hour past the time he was to call and guess what? My cell phone was off. :o I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I usually keep it on all the time but I shut it off last nite because I was charging it.

I guess I'll tell him the next time I see him. He called but left no message.

Thanks for the tips everyone.
So, if he called, you now you have his number (on your incoming calls list). Call him back and explain that the phone was off. This has happened at least once to most people who are expecting a call (my phone actually turns itself off from time to time when it's in my pocket -- still haven't figured that one out, but it caused a problem once). And then go ahead and get this discussion over with him. You'll feel better. So will he.

Hey you guys. I don't shut it off. I'm expecting Mich to call. I really don't. Seriously. Ask Vega. She's talked to me at wee early hours.

As for calling him, he didn't leave a message. I'll see him at work in a couple of days.